How to Deal With the Puppy Blues

Getting a new puppy is fun and exciting. You now get to spend your evenings cuddled up with a cute furry friend as you catch up on your favorite shows. You have playdates, long walks in the park, a new companion to spend time with, and someone who will always be happy to see you when you get home.

For most people, getting a new puppy is guaranteed to immediately lift their spirits. Opening the door after a long day at work and seeing your new little furry friend bounding up to you has been shown to elicit oxytocin, a chemical messenger responsible for putting you in a good mood.

Others, however, experience a surprising emotional response akin to sadness, known as puppy blues. 

What Are the Puppy Blues?

Puppy blues is a term used to describe a range of emotional responses that include being overwhelmed, anxious, sad, and sometimes regretful about getting your new puppy. You may experience these emotions soon after your puppy arrives despite having looked forward to getting your puppy for some time.

It’s a lot like the emotional rollercoaster new parents feel, says Michael Kane, MD, Chief Medical Officer and Psychiatrist at Indiana Center of Recovery. You might feel incredibly sad, question your decision, or feel you’re not cut out for puppy parenting.

Signs of the Puppy Blues

Recognizing the symptoms of puppy blues can help you manage these feelings effectively. These symptoms can vary widely from person to person, but there are several common signs that you might be struggling with your new pup:

Overwhelming Fatigue

When you have a new pup, you can expect to feel a little tired from late-night potty breaks and early-morning walks. However, some people also report experiencing emotional exhaustion. They feel drained and lethargic, making it hard to enjoy spending time with their new puppy.

Persistent Anxiety or Worry

Constantly worrying about your puppy’s health, behavior, and overall well-being can be a sign of puppy blues. You might find yourself feeling anxious about whether you are doing enough for them or being a good pet parent.

Feelings of Regret or Doubt

Doubting your decision to adopt a puppy or feeling regret, especially when training them gets challenging, are strong indicators of puppy blues. While feeling frustrated occasionally is normal, regretting your decision or even considering returning your new pup isn’t typical.

Irritability and Mood Swings

Minor issues with your new pup may make you more irritated or angrier than usual. For instance, you might find yourself snapping at your puppy for something as minor as peeing in the wrong place. You might also feel guilty afterward for doing so.

Social Withdrawal 

If you’re turning down invitations to hang out with your friends, feeling reluctant about spending time outside your home because of your puppy, or even avoiding talking about your puppy with loved ones, it could be a sign of puppy blues.

Sadness or Depressive Symptoms

Feeling uncharacteristically sad or experiencing symptoms similar to depression, such as losing interest in activities you used to enjoy, could suggest you have puppy blues.

Puppy blues symptoms can include a lot of anxiety and stress, says Dr. Paola Cuevas, an experienced veterinarian, and behaviorist with Dogster.com.

Some people feel guilt from thinking they did something wrong, self-blame, or even doubt about the decision and their capability to care for the puppy. Although this is called “puppy blues,” it could also happen to those adopting a new adult dog, as the adjustments can be equally overwhelming and create anxiety.

Coping Strategies for Puppy Blues

Experiencing puppy blues can be challenging, but there are effective ways to cope with these feelings and connect with your new puppy.

• First, you need to understand that no puppy is perfect and that training takes time. Set attainable goals for both you and your puppy to prevent feeling frustrated or like you’ve failed at training them.
• Next, create a routine to help your puppy thrive, so you can too. Establishing a predictable schedule for meals, walks, playtime, and sleep can help you and your puppy feel less anxious.
• Connect with other pet owners who can be empathetic and advise you on the best way to train your new pet. Joining puppy classes or online groups can also help you feel less isolated.
• It’s essential to take breaks and create time for yourself. Arrange for someone else to watch your puppy for a few hours so you can relax or indulge in activities you enjoy.

Self-care is crucial in managing your mental health. You can’t expect yourself to be a perfect pet parent right away. You’ll have to learn and adjust as you go. Remember to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking breaks when needed. It’s normal for your puppy to be demanding at first, so give yourself some grace, Dr. Kane says.

If your feelings of sadness or anxiety become overwhelming, consider speaking to a mental health professional. It’s essential to address your feelings before they become more severe. While these strategies can help lighten the emotional burden of puppy blues, asking for help and taking things one step at a time is okay.

Know that this is a process and that your puppy and you will eventually be so close that you can feel and communicate with each other without words or reasons for struggle or frustration, Dr. Cuevas adds.

Managing Expectations and Setting Realistic Goals

Setting realistic expectations during your new puppy’s early days is crucial. You must understand that you and your puppy are adjusting to a new life together, and patience will get you the best results.

Be compassionate with the puppy. They are going through a massive transition from having their mother’s guidance and their sibling’s company 24/7 to having to learn to live in our houses, get used to a new and unfamiliar environment, learn new rules, and learn to be by themselves for short periods. It is a huge change for them, says Dr. Cuevas.

According to Dr. Cuevas, you should keep in mind that puppies have no bladder control until they are about 16 weeks of age, for example. A puppy will need to be taken outside or to the designated area every couple of hours, typically about one hour per month of age plus one, so a 2-month-old puppy will need to go every 2 -3 hours, a 3-month-old puppy every 3 - 4 hours, etc. Puppies must also be taken out every time they wake up after a nap, before bed, and 15 minutes after every meal. 

Focus on setting small, achievable training goals rather than expecting perfection. For instance, work on one command at a time and appreciate the progress, no matter how gradual it may seem. There’ll be occasional setbacks, so brace yourself for them.

On some days, it’ll feel like you are taking two steps back for every step forward. However, this is a normal part of the training process. Learn to recognize and celebrate small successes. Whether it’s your puppy responding to their name for the first time or successfully going outside to potty, these moments are significant achievements in your puppy’s development and can lift your spirits.

Seeking Professional Help for Puppy Blues

While coping strategies and a supportive network can help with puppy blues, sometimes you might need professional help to get you through the funk. If you still feel anxious and sad despite your best efforts to overcome these emotions, it might be time to consult a mental health expert. Persistent emotional distress can affect your ability to care for yourself and your puppy and enjoy the time you spend together.

If you experience symptoms of depression or severe anxiety, it’s essential to talk to a mental health professional. These feelings can be intense and may require treatment beyond self-help strategies. Sometimes, your puppy’s behavior might be the source of your stress. A professional dog trainer or behaviorist can provide support if you’re struggling with training or behavioral issues that seem unmanageable.

If the blues feel too heavy, don’t hesitate to seek help. This could mean consulting a professional dog trainer to address specific challenges or talking to a counselor to manage the emotional strain. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not defeat. It’s about finding the best way forward for both you and your puppy, says Dr. Kane.

The Transition to a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Like any new relationship, building a strong bond with your puppy takes time and effort. It’s essential to remember that you’re both learning and growing together, so be patient and kind to yourself and your puppy. With proper care, training, and lots of love, you can overcome the initial challenges of owning a puppy and develop a happy and healthy relationship that will last a lifetime, says Dr. Sal Raichbach, PsyD, Chief Clinical Officer at Haven Health Management.

Focus on rewarding your puppy’s good behaviors rather than punishing the bad. This positive reinforcement strengthens your bond and encourages your puppy to repeat those good behaviors. Spend quality time with your puppy that isn’t just about training or discipline. Play games, go on leisurely walks, or simply relax together.

For most new pet parents, puppy blues passes during the first six months and often sooner, says Dr. Cuevos. The anxiety you're feeling now should dissipate, and be replaced by the warm feelings of your dog's companionship, loyalty, and unconditional love. Your dog will bring out the best in you; you’ll develop patience and learn that you can forgive without holding grudges.

Final Thoughts

Adopting a new puppy has highs and lows. The initial excitement often comes with unexpected challenges, and experiencing puppy blues is a common phase many new pet owners go through. Remember, feeling overwhelmed as you adjust to the demands of caring for your pup is perfectly normal.

Implementing consistent routines, using positive reinforcement when training, and taking time for self-care will help you create a fulfilling relationship with your puppy. With time, patience, and effort, the puppy blues will fade, and you’ll find yourself forming an incredible bond with your puppy. The early struggles will become distant memories as you and your puppy learn and grow together. It’s a beautiful journey that, despite the rocky start, can lead to a fulfilling relationship full of love and joy, Dr. Kane adds.