The Link Between Borderline Personality and Violence

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex mental illness that affects both men and women. Along with strong emotions, people with BPD can also experience intense anger, known as borderline rage. If you have a family member or loved one who has BPD, it's important to understand how violence relates to BPD and how it can be handled.

Violence in People With BPD

There is research demonstrating that both men and women who have committed violent acts have elevated rates of borderline personality disorder compared to the general population. In fact, BPD is one of the most frequent diagnoses made in prison inmates, especially related to domestic violence. It is usually in the form of reactive aggression that occurs when they feel provoked, rejected, or threatened.

One research study revealed the following statistics about BPD and violence:

• 73% acted out aggressively or violently within the past year
• 58% were occasionally involved in physical altercations
• 25% have used a weapon against someone at some point in their lives

A large 2016 study in the U.K. found that BPD alone did not suggest a tendency for violence, but did show that those with BPD are more likely to have "comorbidities," associated conditions such as anxiety, antisocial personality disorder, and substance abuse which do raise the risk of violence.

Strong Emotions and BPD

There are several reasons why people with BPD are more likely to be violent in their relationships. First, people with BPD are often victims of violence themselves, such as through child abuse. While it's not true for all people, many people with BPD may have learned to use aggression to deal with strong emotions because adults modeled that behavior for them when they were young.

In addition, people with BPD often experience an unstable sense of self and difficulty trusting others in interpersonal relationships. They may experience very strong emotions if they believe they are being rejected or abandoned; this is known as rejection sensitivity or abandonment sensitivity. These intense feelings of rejection can sometimes lead to aggressive behaviors.

Finally, people with BPD often have difficulties with impulsive behaviors. When they are experiencing strong emotions that are typical of the disorder, they may do things without thinking about the consequences. If they engage in violence, it is usually not planned. It is an impulsive act done in the heat of the moment.

Risk of Becoming Violent

The information above only provides general information about the link between borderline personality disorder and violence; it is not possible to predict whether one particular individual with BPD will be violent. If your loved one has not shown any violent tendencies or aggression, it is quite possible that they won't be violent. Many individuals with BPD never commit any aggressive acts during their lives.

You should consider getting yourself to a safe place away from that loved one, whether that means getting a hotel or staying with friends. It's important that you are safe before trying to help your friend or family member get help.

Once you are secure, your best bet is for both of you to seek professional help through therapy with a therapist specializing in BPD. This may help you figure out whether the relationship can be improved and may prevent violence from happening in the future.

Therapy can also help you decide whether this is a relationship worth saving. The therapist can also recommend a course of treatment to help your loved one get on the path to recovery.

Safety Plans

Having a diagnosis of BPD not only may increase the risk of violence against others but also against oneself. Self-harm is a common issue for many individuals living with BPD.

Some therapists recommend that people fill out a safety plan for borderline personality disorder. This safety plan can be helpful not only in preparing for possible violent or suicidal thoughts but can help you identify triggers in your daily life.

A Word From Verywell

Emotional instability and interpersonal conflict are hallmarks of BPD, and there is an increased risk for impulsivity, self-harm, and reactive violence toward others when triggered. If you are a loved one has BPD, there is hope for healing. If you have BPD and decide to engage in therapy, you will find yourself overcoming past trauma, learning emotional regulation skills, and creating stability in your relationships.