Proposal
The exhibition of the history in Cernavoda: a proposal
Introduction
The objective of this proposal is to suggest what should appear in the local exhibition of the city
Cernavoda and what aspects should be included and presented.
The main artefact
At the present moment, Cernavoda’s history isn’t that well discovered, but “The thinker of
Hamangia” is considered the main artefact that everyone knows about. It proves that the city has
an extended history that includes the Hamangia culture and its exquisite pottery. A good idea to
present this artefact would be to put it on a pedestal in the center of the main room where the
exhibition will take place and set up colorful lights above it to make it more interesting and
around it could be placed a few pottery vases belonging to the Hamangia people.
The roots of the city and the main attractions
Cernavoda was founded by the ancient Greeks under the name of Axiopolis and later on
inhabited by romans. The exhibition could present a short film with the ruins of the nearby
fortresses and the main attractions of the city such as the Anghel Saligny bridge and some images
from the local museum.
Recommendations
I recommend that a survey should be conducted in order to make sure no piece of history is left
behind and forgotten. Therefore, if the following actions will be followed the exhibition will be a
success:
1. All the artefacts should be presented equally.
2. Everyone in the organizing team follows their roles.
3. The place where the exhibition will take place will be large.
Implementation of the above ideas would result in a successful and admireable history
exhibition.
Areas of Strength:
Your proposal demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, main sections, and
recommendations, which is appropriate for C1 level writing. Your use of organizational
elements helps guide the reader effectively.
You show good command of topic-specific vocabulary related to exhibitions and history,
such as "artefact," "pottery," "fortresses," and "exhibition." This helps establish your
professional tone.
Your recommendations section effectively uses numbered points and provides clear,
actionable items for implementation.
Areas for Growth:
Consider using more sophisticated connecting phrases beyond "and" and "but." For C1
level, try incorporating phrases like "moreover," "furthermore," "in addition to," or
"consequently" to show more advanced cohesion.
Your introduction could be more detailed and engaging. Instead of "The objective of this
proposal is," try something like "This proposal aims to outline comprehensive
recommendations for showcasing Cernavoda's rich historical heritage through a carefully
curated exhibition."
Replace basic adjectives like "good" and "interesting" with more sophisticated
alternatives. For example, instead of "a good idea," use "an effective approach" or "a
strategic display method."
General Feedback on Writing Mechanics:
Watch for minor spelling errors: "admireable" should be "admirable"
Some sentences could be combined for better flow. For example, the two sentences about
the Hamangia culture could be combined using a semicolon or appropriate conjunction.
Consider varying your sentence structures more. While your sentences are grammatically
correct, incorporating more complex structures (such as relative clauses and participle
phrases) would better demonstrate C1 level writing ability.
Report
The employment of young people in Romania
Introduction
The aim of this report is to present what jobs are most popular with young people in Romania,
explain why and what companies should do to attract this age group. I conducted a survey in
order to find out their opinions.
Most popular jobs
A lot of youngsters prefer to be influencers or vloggers, giving the following reasons:
It’s entertaining and fun;
They can make their own schedule;
They can collaborate with their favorite brands;
What can companies do to attract them
Most young people said they would rather choose the jobs mentioned above, but if a company
would offer one of the following benefits they would consider working for that company:
A gym membership;
Monthly bonuses;
To have a cafeteria and offer them a big lunch break;
Recommendations
It would seem that the new generation of people have a different mindset than others and
would rather choose a nonconventional job than a normal 9-5 office job. I would therefore
recommend that companies should start hiring influencers to promote their business.
Areas of Strength:
• Strong report structure with clear sections (introduction, findings, recommendations)
• Effective use of bullet points to organize information and maintain clarity
• Clear statement of purpose in your introduction that outlines the scope of your report
Areas for Growth:
• Enhance your vocabulary with more sophisticated alternatives. For example, instead of "A lot
of youngsters prefer," try "A significant proportion of young professionals gravitate towards"
• Develop more formal transitions between sections. Rather than starting with "A lot of,"
consider phrases like "The survey results indicate that" or "Analysis reveals that"
• Expand your analysis in each section with more specific details and data from your survey
(e.g., include percentages or specific numbers to support your findings)
General Feedback on Writing Mechanics:
• Watch for informal expressions that don't align with C1 professional writing (e.g., "youngsters,"
"fun"). Consider alternatives like "young professionals," "engaging"
• Strengthen cohesion by adding linking phrases between sections (e.g., "Furthermore,"
"Moreover," "In light of these findings")
• Pay attention to article usage - "a gym membership" is correct, but "a cafeteria" should be "a
company cafeteria" for clarity in this context
Remember, for C1 level writing, aim to demonstrate a broader range of complex structures and
sophisticated vocabulary while maintaining a formal, professional tone throughout your report.
