"Look on the bright side," "At least it’s not worse," or "Everything happens for a reason"—if you have come across these sentences too, then it is time to understand the real intention behind them. These words of encouragement are usually done with good intentions. However, they can sometimes overlook genuine struggles and may minimise people’s experiences. This phenomenon, known as bright siding, refers to the tendency to prioritise positivity at all costs, often at the expense of acknowledging challenges. Experts suggest that bright-siding can have even more serious consequences when used by narcissists to maintain their control.
What Is Bright Siding?
“The term "bright siding" denotes the practice of highlighting positive features or outcomes while minimising or disregarding negative realities,” Dr Sushma Gopalan, Child Psychologist - Child Life Specialist, Aster CMI Hospital, Bengaluru, told the OnlyMyHealth team. She explained, “This method can function as a manipulative tactic utilised by narcissists to assert control in interpersonal relationships. By concentrating exclusively on the advantageous aspects, narcissists can fabricate an illusion of an ideal relationship, thus diverting attention from any underlying problems or detrimental behaviours.”
According to the expert, this strategy not only solidifies their authority but also confuses their partners, making it difficult for them to confront valid concerns or recognise the toxic dynamics at work.
Interestingly, bright siding is also referred to as a subcategory of gaslighting. In fact, both involve manipulating someone's feelings.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their own thoughts, memories, and reality. On the other hand, bright siding is when someone only focuses on the positive and ignores the negative. This can make someone feel like their feelings aren't valid or important.
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Common Signs Of Bright Siding
Warning signs of bright siding usually include:
- Always focusing on the good, even when things are bad.
- Refusing to acknowledge problems or challenges.
- Making light of sadness, anger, or frustration.
- Maintaining a positive view, even when unrealistic.
- Using words like "hopeful," "optimistic," and "positive" excessively.
- Refusing to confront problems or difficult situations.
- Always finding the good in every situation, no matter how bad.
Dr Gopalan adds, “Warning signs that someone may be employing bright siding include consistently downplaying your concerns, insisting that you should feel grateful or happy despite your discomfort, and redirecting conversations to only highlight positive outcomes while ignoring your struggles. Such behaviours can undermine your emotional well-being and create a toxic dynamic in relationships.”
Impact Of Bright Siding On People Subjected To It
Bright-siding can have various psychological consequences. It can lead to emotional suppression as individuals feel pressured to maintain a positive facade, neglecting their genuine feelings. This lack of validation can contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness, noted Dr Gopalan.
Over time, the constant pressure to be optimistic can exacerbate anxiety and depression. Furthermore, avoiding negative emotions can hinder personal growth and resilience, as individuals miss opportunities to learn and develop coping mechanisms.
Also Read: Mental Health Matters: Expert Explains Gaslighting And The Manipulative Strain On Mental Health
Genuine Optimism Versus Bright Siding
Optimism and bright-siding are often confused. Optimism is about hope, but it also acknowledges reality. Bright-siding, however, only focuses on the positive and ignores the negative. While optimism helps us face challenges, bright-siding can make it harder to deal with problems.
Dr Gopalan shared, "Genuine optimism is characterised by a hopeful and positive outlook that is grounded in reality, allowing individuals to acknowledge challenges while maintaining a constructive perspective. In contrast, bright siding often involves an overly simplistic or superficial approach to difficult situations, where negative aspects are downplayed or ignored entirely, potentially to manipulate others' perceptions or emotions. This distinction can be observed in the intent behind the communication; authentic optimism seeks to inspire and uplift while remaining truthful, whereas bright siding may aim to obscure the truth for personal gain or to maintain a facade of positivity."
Therefore, it is important to recognise the difference to maintain a healthy perspective.
How To Protect Against Bright Siding
To protect ourselves from the harmful effects of bright-siding, we can develop critical thinking skills to analyse situations objectively and identify hidden problems, advised Dr Gopalan, adding that by understanding our emotions and seeking honest feedback from trusted friends, we can counteract unrealistic positivity.
She further recommended maintaining a balanced perspective, acknowledging both positive and negative aspects, which helps empower us to make informed decisions and build resilience against manipulative tactics.