Have you ever watched a child hold back from trying something new due to fear of failure? Whether it’s answering a question in class or joining a game on the soccer field, the anxiety of 'making a mistake' can hold them back in ways that affect their confidence and growth. As parents and teachers, we often want to protect children from failure, but what if we could help them see it differently? To answer your queries, we reached out to Nishtha Khurana Counselling Psychologist, LISSUN (Mental Health Platform), who explained why failure might not always be a bad thing and measures to cope with it.
Practical Tips to Help Kids Embrace Failure as a Path to Growth
"Teachers and parents are two groups that maintain close contact with children and serve as their earliest role models. Many values, such as self-esteem, self-confidence, and a positive attitude toward life, are shaped by the influence of parents," advocated Khurana. So how do we support children in the face of failure?
Such support involves a combination of emotional, practical and psychological strategies. Many children are afraid of failing which stems from several social and psychological factors. Here are some measures listed by the expert that can help your child grow with confidence:
1. “He who makes no mistakes; learns nothing”
You should encourage a growth mindset in children. When they experience failure, emphasise the value of their efforts and persistence rather than just the outcomes. Praise their hard work, which will motivate them to try harder next time instead of giving up.
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2. Normalise Failure
It's important to teach children that failure is a natural part of learning. Sharing examples of highly successful people can help illustrate this point. It's crucial for them to understand that what they often see as success is just the tip of the iceberg; the fear, rejections, persistence, grit, and discipline that lie beneath are often overlooked.
According to a 2022 study, when parents respond negatively to their children's failures, they can develop a fear of failure. Children may interpret these reactions as negative consequences of failing, leading them to associate failure with fear and avoidance.
3. Show them Unconditional Love
“To create a supportive environment; is quite important; let children express their fears and concerns. Reassure them that it is okay to make mistakes; and that you love and support them no matter what,” added Khurana.
4. Conduct the “Worst Case Scenario” exercise
Begin by taking a piece of paper so you can brainstorm together with your child. Ask them questions, such as, “If everything goes wrong, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” This approach helps set realistic expectations regarding their performance and allows them to understand that failure is just as much a possibility as success.
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5. Build Self-Esteem
Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements and successes and wins; however small they may be. Support the activities that they enjoy and excel in, it helps in developing a sense of confidence and competence.
6. Provide Constructive Feedback
Help them focus on the solutions; discuss what actions they took, the consequences of these actions, and how these consequences can be avoided in the future. Ask questions like, “ What went wrong this time?”, “How can this be prevented or improved?”
Help them focus on the solutions by discussing the actions they took and the consequences of those actions. Reflect on how these consequences can be avoided in the future. Consider asking questions such as, "What went wrong this time?" and "How can this be prevented or improved?"
Bottomline
Khurana concluded, “Fear of failure can negatively affect children's confidence and performance, but this impact doesn't have to be lasting. As our children learn to embrace mistakes, they will understand that giving up is not the solution. This realisation will help them gain the confidence and courage needed to tackle new challenges with enthusiasm.”
[Disclaimer: This article contains information provided by an expert and is for informational purposes only. Hence, we advise you to consult your own professional if you are dealing with any health issues to avoid complications.]