BLOG SPAMMER!!! This poster, Los Angeles Writer, doesn't participate in these forums except to post inks to his own blog. Bloggers make money based on the number of viewings of their blog, so this is a form of advertising. Here is a link to another of his posts on the Decorating Forum. And the responses over there. Here is a link that might be useful: responses to him on the decorating forum

Important tips people always forget (and they make your guests life hell when you do forget them). RELAX! If dinner was supposed to be served at 2 and it makes the table by 3:30 let it go. Drink a glass or bottle of wine if that's what it takes to relax you, but let it go. Your guests won't starve. If your pies don't set, serve them as a topping over icecream. Laugh about it :) It's funny really and not as important as you are trying to make it. Pumpkin custard is lovely :oP Serve what your guests bring, even if it's crap (you know, the tomatoe aspic that your 2nd cousin always brings and everyone hates?) That aspic will be a story teller for years...let it go and accept it with a smile. Don't freak out about the dishes. They'll wash eventually. Don't try to leave the kitchen clean. The holiday is about family and friends gathering to be thankful for what they have or had during the year. Do you remember seeing one account of the pilgrims in the kitchen washing up the dishes? NO because that's not the important part of the holiday and not the memorable part. We bar family and friends from the dish sink at all times. They're dishes, no one will know if they're still there on Friday morning :) RELAX :o) My ex SIL used to always host the holidays. The stress of getting the meal on the table was hell on her and worse for her guests. If you are like her...give in and give up...let someone else do it. Drink and be merry :) Even if your guests don't (mom did you read that LOL) Ok practicle stuff...I make the sweet potatoes the day before as they taste better after the flavors have melded. Mashed potatoes are easy day aheads as is the gravy. Cook up some extra parts (DH is roasting wings and legs now) for gravy. Make pie or pumpkin cheesecake a day ahead. It's much much better that way. I can't let go of seeing a beautiful turkey and wouldn't cook ahead. Reheated wouldn't cut it in my family...but if you do, go ahead and do it and smile :) I don't remember the food of one thanksgiving with my ex SIL...just the stress :(

Jaybird, maybe I can explain my reasoning. For me, the emotional INCOME of pleasure from dealing with activities or objects must equal or be MORE than the emotional OUTGO and pleasure from those activities or objects. No one is saying there is anything wrong with having tons of decorations or stuff, if it gives you pleasure. Most of us here are dealing with the concept that the disorganization has reached a point it is NOT pleasureable. The work associated with cleaning, packing, storing, keeping and putting the stuff back out again is not pleasurable. I'm middle aged, but my youngest child is only 5. I only have so much energy to go around and I have to make sure I'm not running on empty. I'm trying to be more thoughtful in what I bring into our environment to make sure I keep that balance between the work involved and the pleasure I receive. I would bet my next paycheck that your friends and family like to come to your house because YOU are a warm and inviting person. Therefore, your home is warm and inviting, especially over the holidays. There are many things which would give me pleasure but I am no longer willing to do the work associated with the pleasure. I have very few clothes, even though I like and can afford trendy stuff. Keeping them clean and pressed is too much work for me now. I love pots and pots of flowers around my patio, but again, the work level has become something which is unbalanced. Now, all of my ratty, vintage quilts? That's a different story! If a magic genie could come and decorate the house for the holidays with a poof! (and take it down) I would really like a super decorated home. But, for me, being realistic means after the first time or two of lugging and packing holiday dishes, they will just sit in the box. It means I'm the one who will spend days putting the stuff up and days taking it down and packing it away. By coming up with an easy care substitute like a couple of pretty tablecloths, I can achieve my goal of a festive table with much less work. I am also trying to get away from some of the messages from society, that if we don't go all out, then our family won't have a nice holiday. We don't even put up the tree until the 15th of December because I feel that it keeps the build-up or anticipation level too high for my kids. The one thing I have really appreciated since finding this board, is the support and encouragement for whatever someone is trying to achieve. We all have really different lives and challenges. It's not important that I understand Marie's stuggle with her paper clutter. I don't have to make sense of Julie's desire to have her wardrobe a certain way. I can encourage and try to help them reach their goal. For me personally, it's been a quest to stop looking at the short-term pleasure, but see a bigger picture of what comes and goes in my life. How do I balance that for me? Gloria

Having children playing with candles may encourage them with the idea of playing with matches, later. Not a good idea, as that's the cause of many house fires. Maybe a good Thanksgiving/Christmas gift with which to endow yourself might be to give up smoking - remember how many house fires are started by people smoking - especially smoking in bed? Ruined clothing, as well - but then, your friends who can't figure what to give you wouldn't need to wrack their brain so much. Hey - what am I doing - giving you (even a thin) excuse to continue smoking - when you know how bad it may be not only for you but for others around you? A happy Holiday to all of you U.S. people. ole joyful