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The New Monogamy | Tammy Nelson | TEDxBucharest
Dr. Tammy Nelson defines what monogamy means in the modern world where we’re bombarded with distractions which can affect our intimate lives, and she gives us tips on how to have a strong relationship, leaving it to us to define our relationships and what they mean to us. “Relationships are not about committing to someone else but staying true to your own values". Tammy Nelson is a PhD Board Certified Sexologist, Licensed Relationship therapist and a Psychology Professor. As a sex and relationship expert and prolific author, she is internationally recognized as one of the top experts in the field of relationship therapy, with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples.
She authored the books “The New Monogamy”, “Getting the Sex You Want”, “What’s Eating You” an...
published: 26 Mar 2019
-
Poly Is The New Monogamy | OFFICIAL TRAILER | New series
Three girls living in NYC explore modern day relationships; each finding themselves with more than one in their lives.
Starring Cat Hostick, Ann Pirvu, Marianna Phung, Bobby Del Rio, Sasha Barry
Series Creator: Cat Hostick
Watch now in Canada on @HollywoodSuiteTV https://www.primevideo.com/detail/0RGAPQWNUKADIKGEYTO449K5QL/ref=atv_sr_fle_c_Tn74RA_1_1_1?sr=1-1&pageTypeIdSource=ASIN&pageTypeId=B0D84FKTPD&qid=1721085683784
@Tubi (U.S.) https://tubitv.com/series/300010946/poly-is-the-new-monogamy
A half hour comedy/ dramedy series
#trailers #newtrailers2024 #tvseries #love #relationships
published: 17 Jul 2024
-
Free Your Love: Beyond Monogamy and Polyamory | JORGE FERRER | TEDxDaltVila
Are you ready to free the way you love beyond the forced choice between monogamy and polyamory? In this highly personal and engaging talk, relationship expert Jorge Ferrer invites you to discover new possibilities to live love, sexuality, and intimate relationships so that you can craft the relational style most aligned with your personal growth and dispositions. Most people think they have to choose between monogamy and polyamory, but relationship expert Jorge Ferrer disagrees. In this highly personal and engaging talk, Ferrer presents a new paradigm for understanding intimate relationships, challenging the monogamy/polyamory binary, and offering fresh possibilities for thinking about contemporary love and sexuality. Jorge N. Ferrer, PhD. is a clinical psychologist, author, and relationsh...
published: 23 May 2023
-
New Monogamy
Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises
New Monogamy · Outputmessage · Young Rae · Person
Entitled
℗ 2006 Echelon Productions
Released on: 2007-02-17
Auto-generated by YouTube.
published: 04 Apr 2020
-
The True Value of Monogamy in Modern Relationships | Sadia Psychology
www.sadiapsychology.com
In this enlightening short, Sadia discusses the importance and pride in being monogamous in today's world. Learn why monogamous men stand out and why it's seen as a highly attractive trait. Reflect on your views about monogamy and share your experiences in the comments!
#Monogamy #Relationships #PrideInMonogamy #Psychology #SadiaPsychology #ModernLove #QualityOverQuantity #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyRelationships
#ModernDating #Relationships #RealismVsSettling #SelfEsteem #Boundaries #Narcissism #MentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #Psychotherapy #Podcast #sadiapsychology #sadiakhanpodcast #podcast #tombilyeu #impacttheory #andrewtatedebate #andrewtatemotivation #andrewtaterelationships #anakasparian #SadiaKhan #TomBilyeu #ImpactTheory #Relationships #DatingAdvice ...
published: 12 Jun 2024
-
Is Polyamory the New Monogamy?
Polyamory is NOT a new phenomenon. It has been around almost as long as we have. But how do you navigate a polyamorous relationship nowadays? What are the challenges? How do you even meet people?
Psychologist @DrLizPowellwho specializes in working with “kinksters, queerdos, non-binary folx, and non-monogamists,” breaks it all down for us. Whether you’re interested in being in a polyamorous relationship or whether you’re just curious about polyamory, Dr. Liz helps us understand “How to Relationship.”
Follow Dr. Liz:
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drlizpowell/
WEBSITE: https://drlizpowell.com/
The dating landscape has changed a lot over the last few years, and the truth is sometimes it can be incredibly confusing. "How to Relationship" is a series that examines modern dating quest...
published: 06 Dec 2023
-
Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous | Big Think
Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous
New videos DAILY: https://bigth.ink
Join Big Think Edge for exclusive video lessons from top thinkers and doers: https://bigth.ink/Edge
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Savage: the idea that one instance of infidelity should ruin a relationship is a new—and misguided—notion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAN SAVAGE:
Dan Savage writes the internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column "Savage Love." Savage has been outspoken in his support for gay rights and his hostility for social conservatives. In 2010 he and his husband Terry launched the "It Get Better Project" in response to a rash of suicides among LGBT teenagers. The projec...
published: 20 Jun 2011
-
A personal reflection on monogamy
Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at http://www.spartanlifecoach.com
published: 15 Jun 2022
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Complications That Come With Polyamorous Dating
Tara opens up about recent challenges in her dating life, starting with someone she connected with quickly in Montreal but is now finding it difficult to stay in touch with. She also mentions a dilemma about whether to bring a new partner into the friend circle she shares with Andre.
(Ep. 73)
"I had this whole debate in my head about whether or not I should invite them (a new partner) and mix them in with other people and friends I know, because these are also friends of Andre's.. it just felt weird because he's not here and we're communicating by text.. it's so easy to fill our heads with all the stories about what's going on in their head.. and then checking my own feeling on what I actually want." -Tara
#polyamory #nonmonogamy #dating #poly
published: 29 Oct 2024
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178: The New Monogamy: From Assumptions to Integrity with Tammy Nelson
What does monogamy mean to you and your partner? Sometimes a couple will have a different definition of what monogamy is and that miscommunication can lead to problems in your relationship and today we’re talking about that and a whole lot more. This week, our guest is Dr. Tammy Nelson, she is an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, and she's also a Licensed Psychotherapist, with almost 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Tammy, also offers training for therapists who are working with couples around these issues is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. Her work will help you heal and rebuild if you've experienced betrayal in your relationship, and it will also help strengthen your bond if you're simply looking to create an even m...
published: 29 Jan 2019
15:40
The New Monogamy | Tammy Nelson | TEDxBucharest
Dr. Tammy Nelson defines what monogamy means in the modern world where we’re bombarded with distractions which can affect our intimate lives, and she gives us t...
Dr. Tammy Nelson defines what monogamy means in the modern world where we’re bombarded with distractions which can affect our intimate lives, and she gives us tips on how to have a strong relationship, leaving it to us to define our relationships and what they mean to us. “Relationships are not about committing to someone else but staying true to your own values". Tammy Nelson is a PhD Board Certified Sexologist, Licensed Relationship therapist and a Psychology Professor. As a sex and relationship expert and prolific author, she is internationally recognized as one of the top experts in the field of relationship therapy, with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples.
She authored the books “The New Monogamy”, “Getting the Sex You Want”, “What’s Eating You” and the upcoming “When You’re the One Who Cheats.” She’s been quoted as an expert in publications such as The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Rolling Stone Magazine, Washington Post, Martha Stewart, CNN, The Sun, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Woman’s Day, and Time Magazine.
Dr. Tammy Nelson also blogs for the Huffington Post, Medium, Thrive Global and is on the Advisory Board of the Men’s Fitness Magazine. She also writes her own award winning blog at www.drtammynelson.com/blog This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
https://wn.com/The_New_Monogamy_|_Tammy_Nelson_|_Tedxbucharest
Dr. Tammy Nelson defines what monogamy means in the modern world where we’re bombarded with distractions which can affect our intimate lives, and she gives us tips on how to have a strong relationship, leaving it to us to define our relationships and what they mean to us. “Relationships are not about committing to someone else but staying true to your own values". Tammy Nelson is a PhD Board Certified Sexologist, Licensed Relationship therapist and a Psychology Professor. As a sex and relationship expert and prolific author, she is internationally recognized as one of the top experts in the field of relationship therapy, with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples.
She authored the books “The New Monogamy”, “Getting the Sex You Want”, “What’s Eating You” and the upcoming “When You’re the One Who Cheats.” She’s been quoted as an expert in publications such as The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Rolling Stone Magazine, Washington Post, Martha Stewart, CNN, The Sun, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Woman’s Day, and Time Magazine.
Dr. Tammy Nelson also blogs for the Huffington Post, Medium, Thrive Global and is on the Advisory Board of the Men’s Fitness Magazine. She also writes her own award winning blog at www.drtammynelson.com/blog This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- published: 26 Mar 2019
- views: 67882
1:47
Poly Is The New Monogamy | OFFICIAL TRAILER | New series
Three girls living in NYC explore modern day relationships; each finding themselves with more than one in their lives.
Starring Cat Hostick, Ann Pirvu, Mariann...
Three girls living in NYC explore modern day relationships; each finding themselves with more than one in their lives.
Starring Cat Hostick, Ann Pirvu, Marianna Phung, Bobby Del Rio, Sasha Barry
Series Creator: Cat Hostick
Watch now in Canada on @HollywoodSuiteTV https://www.primevideo.com/detail/0RGAPQWNUKADIKGEYTO449K5QL/ref=atv_sr_fle_c_Tn74RA_1_1_1?sr=1-1&pageTypeIdSource=ASIN&pageTypeId=B0D84FKTPD&qid=1721085683784
@Tubi (U.S.) https://tubitv.com/series/300010946/poly-is-the-new-monogamy
A half hour comedy/ dramedy series
#trailers #newtrailers2024 #tvseries #love #relationships
https://wn.com/Poly_Is_The_New_Monogamy_|_Official_Trailer_|_New_Series
Three girls living in NYC explore modern day relationships; each finding themselves with more than one in their lives.
Starring Cat Hostick, Ann Pirvu, Marianna Phung, Bobby Del Rio, Sasha Barry
Series Creator: Cat Hostick
Watch now in Canada on @HollywoodSuiteTV https://www.primevideo.com/detail/0RGAPQWNUKADIKGEYTO449K5QL/ref=atv_sr_fle_c_Tn74RA_1_1_1?sr=1-1&pageTypeIdSource=ASIN&pageTypeId=B0D84FKTPD&qid=1721085683784
@Tubi (U.S.) https://tubitv.com/series/300010946/poly-is-the-new-monogamy
A half hour comedy/ dramedy series
#trailers #newtrailers2024 #tvseries #love #relationships
- published: 17 Jul 2024
- views: 35726
13:51
Free Your Love: Beyond Monogamy and Polyamory | JORGE FERRER | TEDxDaltVila
Are you ready to free the way you love beyond the forced choice between monogamy and polyamory? In this highly personal and engaging talk, relationship expert J...
Are you ready to free the way you love beyond the forced choice between monogamy and polyamory? In this highly personal and engaging talk, relationship expert Jorge Ferrer invites you to discover new possibilities to live love, sexuality, and intimate relationships so that you can craft the relational style most aligned with your personal growth and dispositions. Most people think they have to choose between monogamy and polyamory, but relationship expert Jorge Ferrer disagrees. In this highly personal and engaging talk, Ferrer presents a new paradigm for understanding intimate relationships, challenging the monogamy/polyamory binary, and offering fresh possibilities for thinking about contemporary love and sexuality. Jorge N. Ferrer, PhD. is a clinical psychologist, author, and relationship counsellor. He served as professor and department chair at California Institute of Integral Studies, San Francisco. The author of several books, including Participation and the Mystery: Transpersonal Essays in Psychology, Education, and Religion (2017), Love and Freedom: Transcending Monogamy and Polyamory (2021), and Novogamia: Más Allá de la Monogamia y del Poliamor (2022), he was a member of the Esalen Institute’s Center for Theory and Research and an advisor to Religions for Peace at the United Nations. Learn more at www.jorgenferrer.com This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
https://wn.com/Free_Your_Love_Beyond_Monogamy_And_Polyamory_|_Jorge_Ferrer_|_Tedxdaltvila
Are you ready to free the way you love beyond the forced choice between monogamy and polyamory? In this highly personal and engaging talk, relationship expert Jorge Ferrer invites you to discover new possibilities to live love, sexuality, and intimate relationships so that you can craft the relational style most aligned with your personal growth and dispositions. Most people think they have to choose between monogamy and polyamory, but relationship expert Jorge Ferrer disagrees. In this highly personal and engaging talk, Ferrer presents a new paradigm for understanding intimate relationships, challenging the monogamy/polyamory binary, and offering fresh possibilities for thinking about contemporary love and sexuality. Jorge N. Ferrer, PhD. is a clinical psychologist, author, and relationship counsellor. He served as professor and department chair at California Institute of Integral Studies, San Francisco. The author of several books, including Participation and the Mystery: Transpersonal Essays in Psychology, Education, and Religion (2017), Love and Freedom: Transcending Monogamy and Polyamory (2021), and Novogamia: Más Allá de la Monogamia y del Poliamor (2022), he was a member of the Esalen Institute’s Center for Theory and Research and an advisor to Religions for Peace at the United Nations. Learn more at www.jorgenferrer.com This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- published: 23 May 2023
- views: 11675
3:08
New Monogamy
Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises
New Monogamy · Outputmessage · Young Rae · Person
Entitled
℗ 2006 Echelon Productions
Released on: 2007-02-17...
Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises
New Monogamy · Outputmessage · Young Rae · Person
Entitled
℗ 2006 Echelon Productions
Released on: 2007-02-17
Auto-generated by YouTube.
https://wn.com/New_Monogamy
Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises
New Monogamy · Outputmessage · Young Rae · Person
Entitled
℗ 2006 Echelon Productions
Released on: 2007-02-17
Auto-generated by YouTube.
- published: 04 Apr 2020
- views: 8
0:34
The True Value of Monogamy in Modern Relationships | Sadia Psychology
www.sadiapsychology.com
In this enlightening short, Sadia discusses the importance and pride in being monogamous in today's world. Learn why monogamous men sta...
www.sadiapsychology.com
In this enlightening short, Sadia discusses the importance and pride in being monogamous in today's world. Learn why monogamous men stand out and why it's seen as a highly attractive trait. Reflect on your views about monogamy and share your experiences in the comments!
#Monogamy #Relationships #PrideInMonogamy #Psychology #SadiaPsychology #ModernLove #QualityOverQuantity #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyRelationships
#ModernDating #Relationships #RealismVsSettling #SelfEsteem #Boundaries #Narcissism #MentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #Psychotherapy #Podcast #sadiapsychology #sadiakhanpodcast #podcast #tombilyeu #impacttheory #andrewtatedebate #andrewtatemotivation #andrewtaterelationships #anakasparian #SadiaKhan #TomBilyeu #ImpactTheory #Relationships #DatingAdvice #SelfControl #Attraction #ModernLove #SelfEsteem #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipDynamics #Attraction #Insecurity #Loyalty #Satisfaction #LoveAndDesire #RelationshipGoals #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyRelationships #Perspective #Compassion #ConflictResolution #MentalHealth #Psychology #LoveAndRespect #PartnershipGoals #SadiaPsychology #PersonalGrowth #HealthyRelationships #Evolution #MentalHealth #Sadia #SadiaKhan #Podcast #Psychology #RomanceTruths #MenVsWomen #Relationship #Advice
TikTok Daily Clips : www.tiktok.com/@sadiakhanpodcast
Sadia's Official TikTok : www.tiktok.com/@sadiapsychology
Sadia's Official Website: www.sadiapsychology.com
Sadia's Official Channel: @sadiapsychology
Sadia's Patreon: www.patreon.com/sadiapsychology
https://wn.com/The_True_Value_Of_Monogamy_In_Modern_Relationships_|_Sadia_Psychology
www.sadiapsychology.com
In this enlightening short, Sadia discusses the importance and pride in being monogamous in today's world. Learn why monogamous men stand out and why it's seen as a highly attractive trait. Reflect on your views about monogamy and share your experiences in the comments!
#Monogamy #Relationships #PrideInMonogamy #Psychology #SadiaPsychology #ModernLove #QualityOverQuantity #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyRelationships
#ModernDating #Relationships #RealismVsSettling #SelfEsteem #Boundaries #Narcissism #MentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #Psychotherapy #Podcast #sadiapsychology #sadiakhanpodcast #podcast #tombilyeu #impacttheory #andrewtatedebate #andrewtatemotivation #andrewtaterelationships #anakasparian #SadiaKhan #TomBilyeu #ImpactTheory #Relationships #DatingAdvice #SelfControl #Attraction #ModernLove #SelfEsteem #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipDynamics #Attraction #Insecurity #Loyalty #Satisfaction #LoveAndDesire #RelationshipGoals #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyRelationships #Perspective #Compassion #ConflictResolution #MentalHealth #Psychology #LoveAndRespect #PartnershipGoals #SadiaPsychology #PersonalGrowth #HealthyRelationships #Evolution #MentalHealth #Sadia #SadiaKhan #Podcast #Psychology #RomanceTruths #MenVsWomen #Relationship #Advice
TikTok Daily Clips : www.tiktok.com/@sadiakhanpodcast
Sadia's Official TikTok : www.tiktok.com/@sadiapsychology
Sadia's Official Website: www.sadiapsychology.com
Sadia's Official Channel: @sadiapsychology
Sadia's Patreon: www.patreon.com/sadiapsychology
- published: 12 Jun 2024
- views: 70811
3:22
Is Polyamory the New Monogamy?
Polyamory is NOT a new phenomenon. It has been around almost as long as we have. But how do you navigate a polyamorous relationship nowadays? What are the chal...
Polyamory is NOT a new phenomenon. It has been around almost as long as we have. But how do you navigate a polyamorous relationship nowadays? What are the challenges? How do you even meet people?
Psychologist @DrLizPowellwho specializes in working with “kinksters, queerdos, non-binary folx, and non-monogamists,” breaks it all down for us. Whether you’re interested in being in a polyamorous relationship or whether you’re just curious about polyamory, Dr. Liz helps us understand “How to Relationship.”
Follow Dr. Liz:
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drlizpowell/
WEBSITE: https://drlizpowell.com/
The dating landscape has changed a lot over the last few years, and the truth is sometimes it can be incredibly confusing. "How to Relationship" is a series that examines modern dating questions that, quite frankly, you can't ask your mom.
-
ATTN: is a media company that breaks down important societal topics and conversations into digestible, entertaining videos and series across all platforms. Check out more videos worth your ATTN: and subscribe to our channels below:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/attn/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attndotcom/
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/attn
Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/add/attndotcom
https://wn.com/Is_Polyamory_The_New_Monogamy
Polyamory is NOT a new phenomenon. It has been around almost as long as we have. But how do you navigate a polyamorous relationship nowadays? What are the challenges? How do you even meet people?
Psychologist @DrLizPowellwho specializes in working with “kinksters, queerdos, non-binary folx, and non-monogamists,” breaks it all down for us. Whether you’re interested in being in a polyamorous relationship or whether you’re just curious about polyamory, Dr. Liz helps us understand “How to Relationship.”
Follow Dr. Liz:
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drlizpowell/
WEBSITE: https://drlizpowell.com/
The dating landscape has changed a lot over the last few years, and the truth is sometimes it can be incredibly confusing. "How to Relationship" is a series that examines modern dating questions that, quite frankly, you can't ask your mom.
-
ATTN: is a media company that breaks down important societal topics and conversations into digestible, entertaining videos and series across all platforms. Check out more videos worth your ATTN: and subscribe to our channels below:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/attn/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attndotcom/
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/attn
Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/add/attndotcom
- published: 06 Dec 2023
- views: 639
2:41
Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous | Big Think
Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous
New videos DAILY: https://bigth.ink
Join Big Think Edge for exclusive video lessons from top thinkers and doers: https://...
Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous
New videos DAILY: https://bigth.ink
Join Big Think Edge for exclusive video lessons from top thinkers and doers: https://bigth.ink/Edge
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Savage: the idea that one instance of infidelity should ruin a relationship is a new—and misguided—notion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAN SAVAGE:
Dan Savage writes the internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column "Savage Love." Savage has been outspoken in his support for gay rights and his hostility for social conservatives. In 2010 he and his husband Terry launched the "It Get Better Project" in response to a rash of suicides among LGBT teenagers. The project encourages gay LGBT adults to record videos for victims of bullying with the simple message that life gets better after high school. Savage is also the author of several books including "The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSCRIPT:
Question: Does society need to rethink its view on love and monogamy?
Dan Savage: Yeah, absolutely we need to rethink love and commitment. You know 60 years ago was when we decided that men had to be monogamous too. Men were not monogamous. For all of recorded human history men had concubines and whores, and 60 years ago straight relationships began to become more egalitarian and it was less of a property transaction—a marriage had been a property transaction for most of recorded human history—and it became a union of two equals. And at that moment instead of deciding to allow women to have the same sort of freedom and leeway that men did we decided to let men have the same limitations, impose the same limitations what women had and we put monogamous sexual commitment at the heart of all relationships, all long-term commitments, all marriages and we have watched.
We should now be able to recognize the consequences of that, which are a lot of short-term relationships, a lot of divorce. Because monogamy is ridiculous and people aren’t any good at it. We’re not wired for it. We didn’t evolve to be. It’s unnatural and it places a tremendous strain on our marriages and our long-term commitments to expect them to be effortlessly monogamous. Because what we said is "If you’re in love you shouldn’t... you won’t want to have sex with anybody else and what we need to tell people is that if you’re in love you can make a monogamous commitment and you will refrain from having sex with other people, but you will still desperately want to fuck the shit out of other people." But people understand love means I don’t want to fuck other people because of these misconceptions pumped into people’s heads about romance, love and what it means. And so they meet somebody else that they’re attracted to and they’re attracted to this other person. They go "Well, I must not be in love with my partner anymore otherwise I wouldn’t be attracted to this person." Or they feel threatened when their partners are attracted to other people because it makes them feel insecure and we just need to get passed that and we talk about monogamy the way we talk about virginity, that you’re monogamous until you fuck somebody else and they’re you’re not. You’ve ruined it. You popped your monogamy hymen and destroyed your monogamous relationship.
We need to talk about monogamy the way we talk about sobriety, which you can be monogamous and fall off the wagon and then sober back up. You can monogamous back up and get back on the wagon. And the truth of the matter is that if you’re with somebody for 40, 50 years and they only cheated on you a few times they were good at being monogamous, not bad at being monogamous. They were good at it. So I do think there needs to be some leeway. And a lot of really good loving relationships are destroyed because somebody wants a little variety or isn’t getting a need met and feels they have to step out and it explodes the relationship. I'm conservative. I think that we should do what we can to preserve marriages and long-term relationships, and one way to do that is to encourage people to have more realistic attitudes about sexual exclusivity.
Recorded on October 18, 2010
Interviewed by Max Miller
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOLLOW BIG THINK:
📰BigThink.com: https://bigth.ink
🧔Facebook: https://bigth.ink/facebook
🐦Twitter: https://bigth.ink/twitter
📸Instagram: https://bigth.ink/Instragram
📹YouTube: https://bigth.ink/youtube
✉ E-mail:
[email protected]
https://wn.com/Dan_Savage_Why_Monogamy_Is_Ridiculous_|_Big_Think
Dan Savage: Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous
New videos DAILY: https://bigth.ink
Join Big Think Edge for exclusive video lessons from top thinkers and doers: https://bigth.ink/Edge
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Savage: the idea that one instance of infidelity should ruin a relationship is a new—and misguided—notion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAN SAVAGE:
Dan Savage writes the internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column "Savage Love." Savage has been outspoken in his support for gay rights and his hostility for social conservatives. In 2010 he and his husband Terry launched the "It Get Better Project" in response to a rash of suicides among LGBT teenagers. The project encourages gay LGBT adults to record videos for victims of bullying with the simple message that life gets better after high school. Savage is also the author of several books including "The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSCRIPT:
Question: Does society need to rethink its view on love and monogamy?
Dan Savage: Yeah, absolutely we need to rethink love and commitment. You know 60 years ago was when we decided that men had to be monogamous too. Men were not monogamous. For all of recorded human history men had concubines and whores, and 60 years ago straight relationships began to become more egalitarian and it was less of a property transaction—a marriage had been a property transaction for most of recorded human history—and it became a union of two equals. And at that moment instead of deciding to allow women to have the same sort of freedom and leeway that men did we decided to let men have the same limitations, impose the same limitations what women had and we put monogamous sexual commitment at the heart of all relationships, all long-term commitments, all marriages and we have watched.
We should now be able to recognize the consequences of that, which are a lot of short-term relationships, a lot of divorce. Because monogamy is ridiculous and people aren’t any good at it. We’re not wired for it. We didn’t evolve to be. It’s unnatural and it places a tremendous strain on our marriages and our long-term commitments to expect them to be effortlessly monogamous. Because what we said is "If you’re in love you shouldn’t... you won’t want to have sex with anybody else and what we need to tell people is that if you’re in love you can make a monogamous commitment and you will refrain from having sex with other people, but you will still desperately want to fuck the shit out of other people." But people understand love means I don’t want to fuck other people because of these misconceptions pumped into people’s heads about romance, love and what it means. And so they meet somebody else that they’re attracted to and they’re attracted to this other person. They go "Well, I must not be in love with my partner anymore otherwise I wouldn’t be attracted to this person." Or they feel threatened when their partners are attracted to other people because it makes them feel insecure and we just need to get passed that and we talk about monogamy the way we talk about virginity, that you’re monogamous until you fuck somebody else and they’re you’re not. You’ve ruined it. You popped your monogamy hymen and destroyed your monogamous relationship.
We need to talk about monogamy the way we talk about sobriety, which you can be monogamous and fall off the wagon and then sober back up. You can monogamous back up and get back on the wagon. And the truth of the matter is that if you’re with somebody for 40, 50 years and they only cheated on you a few times they were good at being monogamous, not bad at being monogamous. They were good at it. So I do think there needs to be some leeway. And a lot of really good loving relationships are destroyed because somebody wants a little variety or isn’t getting a need met and feels they have to step out and it explodes the relationship. I'm conservative. I think that we should do what we can to preserve marriages and long-term relationships, and one way to do that is to encourage people to have more realistic attitudes about sexual exclusivity.
Recorded on October 18, 2010
Interviewed by Max Miller
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOLLOW BIG THINK:
📰BigThink.com: https://bigth.ink
🧔Facebook: https://bigth.ink/facebook
🐦Twitter: https://bigth.ink/twitter
📸Instagram: https://bigth.ink/Instragram
📹YouTube: https://bigth.ink/youtube
✉ E-mail:
[email protected]
- published: 20 Jun 2011
- views: 914181
0:58
A personal reflection on monogamy
Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at http://www.spartanlifecoach.com
Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at http://www.spartanlifecoach.com
https://wn.com/A_Personal_Reflection_On_Monogamy
Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at http://www.spartanlifecoach.com
- published: 15 Jun 2022
- views: 25269
4:01
Complications That Come With Polyamorous Dating
Tara opens up about recent challenges in her dating life, starting with someone she connected with quickly in Montreal but is now finding it difficult to stay i...
Tara opens up about recent challenges in her dating life, starting with someone she connected with quickly in Montreal but is now finding it difficult to stay in touch with. She also mentions a dilemma about whether to bring a new partner into the friend circle she shares with Andre.
(Ep. 73)
"I had this whole debate in my head about whether or not I should invite them (a new partner) and mix them in with other people and friends I know, because these are also friends of Andre's.. it just felt weird because he's not here and we're communicating by text.. it's so easy to fill our heads with all the stories about what's going on in their head.. and then checking my own feeling on what I actually want." -Tara
#polyamory #nonmonogamy #dating #poly
https://wn.com/Complications_That_Come_With_Polyamorous_Dating
Tara opens up about recent challenges in her dating life, starting with someone she connected with quickly in Montreal but is now finding it difficult to stay in touch with. She also mentions a dilemma about whether to bring a new partner into the friend circle she shares with Andre.
(Ep. 73)
"I had this whole debate in my head about whether or not I should invite them (a new partner) and mix them in with other people and friends I know, because these are also friends of Andre's.. it just felt weird because he's not here and we're communicating by text.. it's so easy to fill our heads with all the stories about what's going on in their head.. and then checking my own feeling on what I actually want." -Tara
#polyamory #nonmonogamy #dating #poly
- published: 29 Oct 2024
- views: 119
54:31
178: The New Monogamy: From Assumptions to Integrity with Tammy Nelson
What does monogamy mean to you and your partner? Sometimes a couple will have a different definition of what monogamy is and that miscommunication can lead to p...
What does monogamy mean to you and your partner? Sometimes a couple will have a different definition of what monogamy is and that miscommunication can lead to problems in your relationship and today we’re talking about that and a whole lot more. This week, our guest is Dr. Tammy Nelson, she is an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, and she's also a Licensed Psychotherapist, with almost 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Tammy, also offers training for therapists who are working with couples around these issues is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. Her work will help you heal and rebuild if you've experienced betrayal in your relationship, and it will also help strengthen your bond if you're simply looking to create an even more robust version of monogamy that really works for you, and your partner.
As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it!
Resources:
Visit Tammy Nelson’s website to learn more about her work.
Pick up your copy of Tammy Nelson’s book, The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity
FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship
Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE)
Visit www.neilsattin.com/tammy to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Tammy Nelson.
Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out
Transcript:
Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Recently in episode 167, we talked about how to keep assumptions from eroding your relationship, it's crucial for you to take all those implicit ideas about what it means to be in partnership, the things you're assuming that you and your partner agree on, and to make them explicit, actual conversations and agreements that you share with your partner. And there's no place where this matters more than in defining what monogamy actually means to each of you. It turns out that there are a lot of nuances to something that on its surface, sounds as simple as forsaking all others, and if you don't take the time to talk about it, those assumptions and nuances can spell trouble for your relationship.
Neil Sattin: On the flip side, if you do talk about it, there's a ton of energy that it can create for you. That energy is the energy of being in integrity, diving into truly uncover your deep truths about what you want and what monogamy means to you, and what it also means to your partner and what your partner's deep truths are, and then living in that truth with each other. Sometimes though, before you have a chance to do that, some sort of betrayal happens in your relationship, where either your implicit or explicit agreements get violated. Today, we're not only going to be talking about how to help you create the version of monogamy that truly works for you in your relationship, but we're also going to talk about how to heal from an affair, and how having infidelity rock your relationship can actually create an opportunity for an even deeper, more rich connection with your partner, if you're willing to do the work.
Neil Sattin: Today's guest, Dr. Tammy Nelson, is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. She's also the author of Getting the Sex You Want. Tammy Nelson is an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, and she's also a Licensed Psychotherapist, with almost 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Tammy, also offers trainings for therapists who are working with couples around these issues. Her work will help you heal and rebuild if you've experienced betrayal in your relationship, and it will also help strengthen your bond if you're simply looking to create an even more robust version of monogamy that really works for you, and your partner. As usual, we will have a detailed transcript for today's episode, just visit neilsattin.com/tammy, T-A-M-M-Y to download it. Or you can text the word Passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Tammy Nelson, thank you so much for joining us today, here on Relationship Alive.
Tammy Nelson: Thanks, Neil. Thanks so much for having me.
Neil Sattin: Yeah, it's a total pleasure to have you here. And I have to say that, as I was reading The New Monogamy, I couldn't help but think, wow, imagine the power if a couple went through all of these exercises around defining monogamy when they were first committing to each other.
[chuckle]
Tammy Nelson: Yeah, I agree. Or at any point in...
https://wn.com/178_The_New_Monogamy_From_Assumptions_To_Integrity_With_Tammy_Nelson
What does monogamy mean to you and your partner? Sometimes a couple will have a different definition of what monogamy is and that miscommunication can lead to problems in your relationship and today we’re talking about that and a whole lot more. This week, our guest is Dr. Tammy Nelson, she is an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, and she's also a Licensed Psychotherapist, with almost 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Tammy, also offers training for therapists who are working with couples around these issues is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. Her work will help you heal and rebuild if you've experienced betrayal in your relationship, and it will also help strengthen your bond if you're simply looking to create an even more robust version of monogamy that really works for you, and your partner.
As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it!
Resources:
Visit Tammy Nelson’s website to learn more about her work.
Pick up your copy of Tammy Nelson’s book, The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity
FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship
Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE)
Visit www.neilsattin.com/tammy to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Tammy Nelson.
Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out
Transcript:
Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Recently in episode 167, we talked about how to keep assumptions from eroding your relationship, it's crucial for you to take all those implicit ideas about what it means to be in partnership, the things you're assuming that you and your partner agree on, and to make them explicit, actual conversations and agreements that you share with your partner. And there's no place where this matters more than in defining what monogamy actually means to each of you. It turns out that there are a lot of nuances to something that on its surface, sounds as simple as forsaking all others, and if you don't take the time to talk about it, those assumptions and nuances can spell trouble for your relationship.
Neil Sattin: On the flip side, if you do talk about it, there's a ton of energy that it can create for you. That energy is the energy of being in integrity, diving into truly uncover your deep truths about what you want and what monogamy means to you, and what it also means to your partner and what your partner's deep truths are, and then living in that truth with each other. Sometimes though, before you have a chance to do that, some sort of betrayal happens in your relationship, where either your implicit or explicit agreements get violated. Today, we're not only going to be talking about how to help you create the version of monogamy that truly works for you in your relationship, but we're also going to talk about how to heal from an affair, and how having infidelity rock your relationship can actually create an opportunity for an even deeper, more rich connection with your partner, if you're willing to do the work.
Neil Sattin: Today's guest, Dr. Tammy Nelson, is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. She's also the author of Getting the Sex You Want. Tammy Nelson is an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, and she's also a Licensed Psychotherapist, with almost 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Tammy, also offers trainings for therapists who are working with couples around these issues. Her work will help you heal and rebuild if you've experienced betrayal in your relationship, and it will also help strengthen your bond if you're simply looking to create an even more robust version of monogamy that really works for you, and your partner. As usual, we will have a detailed transcript for today's episode, just visit neilsattin.com/tammy, T-A-M-M-Y to download it. Or you can text the word Passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Tammy Nelson, thank you so much for joining us today, here on Relationship Alive.
Tammy Nelson: Thanks, Neil. Thanks so much for having me.
Neil Sattin: Yeah, it's a total pleasure to have you here. And I have to say that, as I was reading The New Monogamy, I couldn't help but think, wow, imagine the power if a couple went through all of these exercises around defining monogamy when they were first committing to each other.
[chuckle]
Tammy Nelson: Yeah, I agree. Or at any point in...
- published: 29 Jan 2019
- views: 1538