GET UP COWARD

when is it my turn to get my paws on the emo axolotl i deserve it for being a good emo puppy

where did this idea of wanting to marry a "good jewish girl" come from in movies and why doesn't anyone want a bad jewish girl, just a dogshit jewish girl, a fucking awful terrible piece of shit jewish girl?? where are the evil jewish girls ?

died and came back kinda the same :/

you could put the grinch on a hand grenade and a millenial would pull the pin just to see if the explosion is green

why is it surprising that mikey way knows about petekey and laughs at jokes about it he was literally there and waiting face down ass up for pete to put it in only to turn around and find pete in the same position waiting for him to put it in

jj abrams should have been sniped from orbit the second he decided to cast a white man as khan

what fucking evolutionary purpose does a migraine even serve like ouuuu i sniffed a smell and now i am in agony 👍 great work there thats gonna save me from thefucking .mammoths

good news! we forgot the catnip bubbles have peppermint in them and now my head hurts worse

i <3 this thing now my screen is red and hurts wayyyyy less to look at

big shout out to my blue light reduction glasses i can have phone time now :3

have migraine -> repeatedly forget that looking at screens hurts -> see little pouch on instagram -> close app and make it without pattern -> bada bing -> bada boom

watching a video about pokemon when a song plays for a montage and i'm like 💯 this sounds like shittttt 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 and i have to go find it because it fucks so hard i thought at first it was taking back sunday

head in fucking hands our neighbour smokes in her flat and she took in some parcels for me and now i'm sat here with the window open and the contents of the parcels on the ledge so the smell of a million cigarettes can hopefully leave them :/

AND when i took the recycling out there was like 20 books in good condition in the recycling bin but my bf pointed out they might all have been tossed at once bcs of bedbugs :(

it's been over a week since i ripped my pussy can i safely put something small in there i hope so

silliness is next to godliness

awwwww they love their little tour family

okay pro tip from your local puppy: words like 'doggo' have no place in your puppy play fanfic