The waiter pours you the wine to taste, and the performance of your life begins.
You sniff and snip, with no intention of saying anything other than ‘yes, that’s lovely, thanks.’
As much as we pretend to know about wine, in reality we’re all novices. In fact, a recent survey found that 45% of Brits tell fibs about their wine knowledge while out at dinner.
And almost half of Brits (41%) admit they have no idea what to look for when choosing a bottle, and instead just opt for a nice-looking label, according to the research by glass manufacturer Encirc.
But if you want to sound like a vino pro at the pub tonight – or you’ve got rosé-sipping weekend plans ahead – never fear.
Wine expert Madalena Moreira has shared her secrets with Metro.co.uk to help you sound like an expert…
What to say about the wine’s appearance
Wine might all look the same but there are a few telltale signs that will give away its age, depending on the type.
‘If you have a red wine with a fading orange or brown colour at the rim, this is a sign of age, but a vivid purple colour usually suggests the wine is fairly young,’ says Madalena.
‘A deep colour in a white wine is either from oak ageing, or it’s a sign that the wine is fairly old’.
Oak ageing refers to the stage where the wine sits in the barrel and the taste and colour is affected by absorbing the oak properties. This is not a bad thing and is done on purpose to add unique flavour properties to the drink.
Oak ageing can add notes vanilla, coconut or smoke to the wine. So, if you notice these tastes, you could comment that the wine is likely older.
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After commenting on the age, Madalena says you should ask about the legs. This is all about how ‘thick’ the wine is, or in layman’s terms, if it has a higher percentage of alcohol or sweetness. Also known as ‘tears’, the legs simply refer to the ring of clear liquid near the top of a wine glass from which droplets form and drop back into the wine.
So, you should swirl your class around and mention the legs at the top of the glass. If you see the ‘legs’, tell the group or your pal that this means the wine has a higher alcohol content.
What to say about the wine’s smell
Don’t forget to use your nose before you use your mouth. This will make you look like a veteran. But how should you describe the wine if the only word that comes to mind is ‘boozy’?
‘Red wines made in warm climates usually produce rich or jammy smells and older reds can develop stronger smells such as spices or tobacco,’ says Madalena.
‘White wines can smell toasty if they have been aged in oak for a long time.
‘Cloves, vanilla, coconut and nutty smells are also signs of ageing, so if this is something you can pick out, it’s an easy comment to make to ensure you look like you know what you’re talking about’.
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You can also mention the fruity smells in rosé wines. They usually have flavour profiles evoking red fruits like strawberries, fresh flowers, citrus, and melon.
What to say about the wine’s taste
Finally, you’ll be pleased to know that Madalena suggests you should give your honest opinion when it comes to the taste of your plonk.
If the wine is giving cheap Ribena at Holy Communion, then say that. However, there are a couple of notes that you should try to mention to maintain your façade as a wine pro.
‘When it comes to explaining the taste of wine, sweetness, acidity, bitterness and warmth are all great notes to look out for.’
And here's what not to say...
There are five key phrases that will expose you as a complete wine novice you should avoid at all costs.
Metro.co.uk’s drinks editor Rob Buckhaven shares the five comments we’ve all probably said in the past and what we should say instead…
- ‘I love Chablis, but I hate Chardonnay’. You shouldn’t say this because Chablis is made from 100% Chardonnay. In your defence, it doesn’t have the oak ageing of many other Chardonnays. Instead, say: ‘I don’t like oaky Chardonnay, that’s why I love Chablis’
- ‘Orange wine is made from oranges’. This is wrong because prange wine is white wine, made in the same way as a red, where the juice is kept in contact with the grape skins, delivering an orange colour and more flavour and texture. If you want to seem clued up, call it ‘amber wine’
- ‘My wine is corked, there are pieces of cork floating in it’. Your wine isn’t corked. ‘Corked’ is when the wine smells like wet cardboard due to a fungus called TCA, which infects the wine and gives it that almost-mouldy aroma. The alternative to this is not saying anything at all!
- ‘Riesling’. Mispronouncing grape names is a dead giveaway, such as Riesling (which is rees-ling, not rye-sling). Don’t pronounce the ‘t’ in Merlot or Pinot Noir. Also, the ‘c’ at the end of Sauvignon Blanc is silent.
- ‘Fizzy wine is Champagne’. Calling all fizzy wine ‘Champagne’ is a no-no. It can only be called Champagne if it’s made in the small region of Champagne in Northeastern France. If in doubt, just call it ‘sparkling’, ‘bubbly, or ‘fizz’
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