Hi ya folks, 2022 was an okay year for movies. While not every movie was good (looking at you, movies we’ll talk about in a bit), there were pretty solid and great movies this year. So I’m gonna do a ranking of 2022 movies. And before I start, I just wanted to say I was originally not going to do this but then I thought to myself, “hey, don’t I do this,” and have decided to do it anyway. Also, feel free to disagree with me if you like. With those out of the way, here is my ranking of 2022 movies. 

Number 28: Pinocchio

Oh no. Oh no. Oh fucking no! Pinocchio maybe the worst Disney live action remake to date. Even worse then the 2019 remake of The Lion King in my opinion. Now I like the original film. It’s not my favorite but I like it. But this movie is an insult to the original film and its message. They literally made changes that were pretty unnecessary. For example, in the original film, where Pinocchio was heading to school, he didn’t get to go because "Honest" John told him, “how can you go to school when you can be famous?” He didn’t know the differences between right or wrong. But in this version, he knows what’s right or wrong and goes to school, but he gets kicked out because of prejudice. What? That was just unnecessary. And there’s other stuff that they did change. You know that scene where Pinocchio lies and his nose grows. Well, he does intentionally lie so he can get the key to get out of the cage. That’s Shrek 2 shit. Also the way he gets to Pleasure Island is very forced. In the climax, when Pinocchio and Geppetto get out of Monstro and escape from him, he randomly turns into Dash from The Incredibles, and to make matters worse, Geppetto dies and comes back to life, but he does via a tear, like the fucking Pokémon movie. Let’s get the other stuff out of the way. The Blue Fairy looks horrendous, and so does the other characters. The CG effects and animation are terrible, and Tom Hanks’ performance is bad, like the worst of his career. As my dad said, he probably did this movie to get a paycheck for his eventual retirement. It’s also very over-the-top, has an uncomfortable tone, and translates the original animated film horribly. Patrick Wilson was right. Robert Zemeckis, the director of iconic, legendary, and recognizable movies like the Back to the Future trilogy, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Cast Away, and The Polar Express to name a few, has lost his goddamn mind. I’m never gonna watch this film again. I need to cure myself. 

Number 27: Ice Age: The Adventures of Buck Wild

Yes, they’re gonna make more and I’m sure of it. I’m probably never gonna watch another Ice Age sequel again. Ice Age: The Adventures of Buck Wild is just terrible. It’s painfully dull, boring, and average. I’m personally not a fan of Crash and Eddie and they’re intolerable in this film. Buck Wild isn’t good either, the villain is forgettable, and the other stuff isn’t worth a shit. Like what IHE said about Stuber, nobody talks about The Adventures of Buck Wild, nobody watched The Adventures of Buck Wild, and nobody remembers The Adventures of Buck Wild. This movie is one of the most pointless movies ever made. I will never think about this movie ever again after finishing this sentence. 

Number 26: Morbius 

Morbius. Funny memes aside, this movie is one of the worst superhero films ever made. It has a generic story, characters, and villain, some pretty cringy moments, a ton of superhero movie clichés that we seen in other superhero films many times before and pretty stupid dialogue. Jerod Leto is pretty terrible in the film, but it’s not as bad as he was in Suicide Squad (2016). Also, the effects are pretty terrible. What is there left to say? Next.

Number 25: Jurassic World: Dominion

Jurassic World: Dominion was not that good. Now, I like the first Jurassic World but I didn’t like Fallen Kingdom all that much, and this movie is no exception. It’s writing is pretty terrible and ends the trilogy badly. That’s all I’m gonna say. Moving on.

Number 24: A Christmas Story Christmas 

I originally didn’t want to watch this but I’ve decided too, because I was like “Meh, maybe I’ll give it some kind of chance.” And A Christmas Story Christmas turned out to be how I expected it to be, an unnecessary sequel to one the most popular Christmas flicks ever. Who asked for this? Not me. I didn’t even want this, but it exists. Its a sequel that suddenly rehashes the first with the same jokes, but they don’t really payoff at all well. It has similar plot lines to the first film, like with Ralphie getting rejected by people, a triple dog dare plot, and the bully plot. It does carry the spirit of the original movie, but that couldn’t save this film. Also, the comedy is pretty unfunny, but there were a few funny moments for me. Overall, pretty unnecessary, but it’s better than Home Sweet Home Alone. 

Number 23: Hocus Pocus 2

Hocus Pocus 2 was not a good movie. To be honest, I did enjoy the original, even if it’s kind of campy, but it’s sequel feels a little generic. The comedy isn’t that great, as it does do the jokes from the previous film but with 2022 jokes, like how the witches go to Walgreens or how they find an Amazon Echo type device, which they also did have that in the loathsome Home Sweet Home Alone. The story is kind of generic, as it has a similar feel to the 2015 Goosebumps movie. However, it does stay true to the chemistry with the villains of the original movie. Overall it’s not that good. Next.

Number 22: Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers

I’m gonna say Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers is average at best. The only reason anyone came to watch this movie is to spot and to hunt Easter Eggs. It’s kind of hyped how Ready Player One was, where everyone was talking about how the movie has so many Easter Eggs. It’s designed for Easter Egg videos like the aforementioned Easter Egg filled movie. Yes it’s fun to find Easter Eggs, but when your movie is relaying on them too much, it can make the story pretty weak. With that out of the way, I personally had a fascination with live action/animated hybrid movies. References aside, the film has an uninspired story, as it follows the story beats from other movies with this kind of plot if you think about it, and the humor is kind of lazy, with most of the jokes being passable at best. It also tries to be like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but fails because it doesn’t understand how that movie worked. I wouldn’t really recommend it. Next.

Number 21: Hotel Transylvania: Transformania 

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania is mediocre and average. Its story is forgettable and uninspired, the comedy is pretty lazy, and follows clichés like the liar reveal. Haha Johnathan, you may have banged my daughter, but you didn’t banged Adam Sandler’s career. Next.

Number 20: Minions: The Rise of Gru

Go away Gentleminions, I didn’t like Minions: The Rise of Gru very much nor did I hated it. The Minions aren’t that good, doing their Minion shit, the story is meh, and the comedy is not great. However, I did like the Gru moments. Hey what did you expect? It’s Minions. It may not be good but it’s better then the 2015 Minions movie. Next.

Number 19: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Honestly, I’m not a Nick Cage fan and The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent was not for me. The story is just the typical FBI story where the main character goes on a mission to stop the bad guy, and it’s also pretty predictable. Nothing much to say. Moving on with my life.

Number 18: Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

The Harry Potter movies are great. I like them. Like with Jurassic World, I liked the first Fantastic Beasts (despite having one of the dumbest and most forced title drops for a movie ever), and I didn’t really like the second one, The Crimes of Grindelwald, because it was pretty boring, and Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore wasn’t that good either. The story and writing was pretty convoluted, and it’s also pretty boring and hard to get into, but the VFXs are decent. If you’re a Harry Potter fan, you can give it a watch if you like. Okay, I’m just gonna move on. 

Number 17: Thor: Love and Thunder 

Thor: Love and Thunder was kind of meh. I mean the more I think about it, I like it less. It is kind of an enjoyable MCU movie, but the writing is pretty messy with a kind of broken story and rushed climax. The comedy is also pretty weak. Like I’m pretty sick of screaming goat jokes in movies (we get it, goats scream like humans) but it needs to stop. To be honest, I prefer Thor: Ragnarok. The plot is more focused and the climax is pretty awesome. That’s all I gotta say. Next.

Number 16: Spirited 

I wasn’t expecting to watch this because I don’t really watch Apple TV+ to be honest, but Spirited I surprisingly enjoyed. I do like Will Ferrell (he’s one of my personal favorite actors) and Ryan Reynolds (even if he’s mostly a hit or miss for me), and their chemistry is pretty good. There were also some funny moments, like I liked the part where Will Ferrell’s character talks to a guy dressed as Buddy the Elf from Elf and the one visual gag with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (voiced by Tracy Morgan) pointing his finger at Ferrell’s character’s hand when he starts holding the hand of someone he’s into. However, there are some criticisms I have to get out. To start, while I do like the concept of “What if one of the spirits from A Christmas Carol were to be changed,” it does become headache inducing where you just want the Scrooge in this film to just be redeemed and make him be a better person. I know that isn’t the point of the film but still, and yes, the third act is pretty challenging. Next, I thought the musical numbers were pretty forgettable, cookie cutter, corny, and feel like something from a Broadway musical that a lot of Gen Z kids would sing in the shower, and Reynolds’ and Ferrell’s singing voices are pretty terrible. It just honestly shows how their pretty terrible as singers. Oh, I forgot to mention, the film does have a pretty good lesson about we as people don’t change automatically, it’s by our choices that we do change. Will Ferrell’s character, The Ghost of Christmas Past, through out the film kind of wanted more to his job that usually does, which is to redeem people, and when he tries to redeem Ryan Reynolds’ character, he begins to question himself in how can he be more then what he usually does. And by the end, Ryan Reynold’s character actually changes as a person because he sacrificed himself. He choose to be a better person because he started to form a bond with Will Ferrell’s character, and he doesn’t want his new friend to get harmed, and he becomes the Ghost of Christmas Present himself by the end. Overall, I kind of enjoyed this film but I don’t think I’ll rewatch it ever again. Next.

Number 15: Turning Red 

Turning Red is a decent animated movie by Pixar imo. Honestly, like Mean Girls, it’s not for me but I don’t hate it. For some reason, I can’t get into these kinds of movies. I’m not sexist or anything, but I can see why people like this. I do dislike the mother character in this movie. Like, she’s a helicopter parent who watches our protagonist, constantly. I personally find helicopter parenting unsettling and dangerous (look at the Black Mirror episode, Arkangel). The friendship with our main character’s friends is pretty great, and kind of reminds me of friends from my past in some way. Overall, it’s fine. I may like it more if I rewatch it but for now it’s fine. Moving on and don’t cancel me.

Number 14: Death on the Nile

It’s a pretty solid sequel to Murder on the Orient Express, but it does have a cliché twist that most murder mysteries have. I say that because the twist in the original was so unexpected, like how everyone killed Johnny Depp’s character in the original. It does have a similar structure to the first movie but it’s its own thing. Also it’s pretty forgettable (I wanted to bring that up). Nothing else to say. Moving on.

Number 13: Black Adam

To be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of The Rock (I think he’s a hit or miss) and I think the DCEU is kind of a mess, but surprisingly, Black Adam is pretty enjoyable but flawed. It’s pretty clichéd, kind of predictable, and feels like Warner Bros. was trying to copy the MCU by balancing humor and seriousness, but I did enjoy the comedic aspects of the movie. I liked how Black Adam himself just walks through walls in such a deadpan way, like the comedic stuff works, thanks to The Rock’s deadpan performance that reminds me of Cable from Deadpool 2. Speaking of Deadpool, I thought that the guy who grows looks kind of similar to Deadpool with just the eye parts, and now that I think about it, even Moon Knight. The other scenes that I did enjoy that I would like to mention, is this one scene where Black Adam goes in slow motion, and “Painted Black” plays in the background while he kills a bunch of people. It’s actually kind of a refreshing movie for the sloppy mess of a cinematic universe that is the DCEU to be serious and comedic at the same time. Yeah, the DCEU did do comedic tones for Shazam! and The Suicide Squad by James Gunn, which is my favorite in the franchise, but it’s still a fun and enjoyable ride. Overall, it was a pretty decent movie. On to the next favorite. 

Number 12: The Bob’s Burgers Movie

The Bob’s Burgers Movie was pretty decent. I’ve never seen the show and I only checked it out because I heard great things about it, but for me, it didn’t turned out as good as I wanted, but I kind of enjoyed it. The plot with Bob and Linda isn’t that great, but the plot with the kids is pretty good. The songs are pretty catchy and memorable (I did hum them after watching the movie). The part that surprised me was the scene where the kids found a skeleton in the sink hole. That scene was pretty haunting for a film like this. Forgot to mention it, do I think this movie is funny? Well, not necessarily unfunny but not funny either. For me, the humor is a mixed bag, like some jokes landed and others didn’t. The performance by Kristen Schaal was good. I like Schaal’s voice so much. Every time I hear it, I think Mabel. To be honest, I would recommend to stick with The Simpsons Movie, but this movie isn’t bad. Overall, it’s a good watch if you like the show I guess, and a solid watch for anyone who hasn’t seen the series, and I probably may recommend this to anyone wanting a simple good time. On to something that I think might be my own.

Number 11: Uncharted

Now I have played the games and they’re good (Uncharted 4 is the best) and for some reason, I like this movie. Now I know it has received some mixed reviews, but I don’t care. The action is pretty awesome with that plane scene and Tom Holland gives a good performance as Nathan Drake and so did Mark Wahlberg as Sully. Yeah, it’s got it’s issues, but if you like the games, you may like this movie. Maybe on rewatch, I may not like it as much but for now, I like it. Next please. 

Number 10: Lightyear

Honestly, this film isn’t that bad as everyone else said. Sure it does use the typical twist villain trope, and even as a twist, it doesn’t make any sense. However, there are some enjoyable actions scenes and comedic relief. Nothing that much to say. Overall, a pretty good movie. Like with Uncharted, I may not like this as much on rewatch but I like it for now. Next. 

Number 9: Sonic the Hedgehog 2

The first Sonic movie was pretty good, but it’s sequel is kind of better than the original. It has that Sonic game feel, which the first was kind of missing from the first. Jim Carrey is amazing as Robotnik as he was in the first, and there are other likable new characters, like Knuckles. I would also like to mention, the action scenes are great and leave you at the edge of your seat. If you like the games or grew up playing them, then you may like this like you did with the first. On to something popular. 

Number 8: Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness

For an MCU movie, it’s pretty good. The editing is great and so is the camera work, not to mention the action scenes are great. My issues with the film are that the new characters in this film get killed off a few moments after their introduction to the MCU for no reason (I did had that issue with the last episode of Hawkeye), so they just become pointless. It also butchers its characters, especially Wanda. There’s other stuff but that’s all I’m gonna say. A good movie. Now we’re getting into the very good. Maybe on rewatch, I may change my opinion but for now I like next. 

Number 7: Avatar: The Way of Water

I actually enjoyed Avatar: The Way of Water. Yes it’s story’s not the best, the characters are pretty one dimensional, and the passing is all over the place, with it feeling a little inconsistent, the climax feeling like it goes on for ages, stuff feeling like pointless filler, and it resulting in time to getting to know more about the characters feeling scarce, but there are other elements I did appreciate. For starters, the visuals were great. There’s a lot of great landscapes in this film that are very great to look at. Next is the action. The action in this movie is very enjoyable, with some pretty great stacks and consequences, with the bad guys getting taken out like drag dolls. Finally it’s the emotion. This movie does have some pretty emotional moments that almost got a tear from me. Overall, I liked this movie. Moving on. 

Number 6: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

I didn’t expect to like this movie as much as I did. I actually like this a lot more then Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. It avoids problems that I have with the current state of the MCU, like trying so hard to be meta, like with She Hulk, introducing new characters and then killing them off (while also butchering the main ones), like with Multiverse of Madness, and last but not least feeling so rushed like with Thor: Love and Thunder. It feels like a Phase 3 film for a Phase 4 movie, most of the time. However, it does have its flaws. First is my biggest problem, I thought T'Challa’s death wasn’t explored well, like how did he get an unexplained disease? I know this is because of Chadwick Boseman’s death (which I’ll get to in a bit), but still. Second, I thought Shuri was kind of being a Mary Sue for a little bit, kind of like Ray from the Star Wars sequels, but she wasn’t too much. And third, I thought that this movie was kind of rehashing the first Black Panther movie a bit. It has a similar plot structure, scenes, and climax, but that didn’t kill the movie for me. I also forgot to mention that the villain is pretty forgettable and we don’t get enough screen time for the other characters. Okay, now time for the positives. This movie is a great tribute to Chadwick Boseman, and how so many black movie goers resonated with him. The ending also made me cry for how emotional it was, seeing all those clips of Chad on the screen. It has some good action scenes that are very fun to watch, and there well choreographed. It also shows that Ryan Coogler cared about this movie, and it does feel genuine. Overall, it’s the better MCU Phase 4 movies, and it’s the best MCU film in a while. Next. 

Number 5: Weird: the Al Yankavic Story

So I thought I was never gonna watch this movie, but I did by shear luck. Weird: the Al Yankavic Story is surprisingly good. I never thought I would like this as much as I did. I am a fan of Weird Al and I do listen to his music. Hell, when I binged watched Adventure Time during lunch breaks in Summer 2022, I listened to his music while eating. I also did something similar when I rewatched all of Regular Show, but listened to Tenacious D. On to this movie. It’s one of the funniest movies in years. I haven’t seen a comedy movie where I laughed a lot, like in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and Team America. I did enjoy the cameos by various celebrities and the references to Al’s songs were worked in pretty well. The one that I didn’t expect to get referenced was Fat, when Al’s mother said “I’m fat. You know. You know.” That genuinely got me laughing. It also does a good job at poking fun at modern musical biopics like Bohemian Rhapsody. I also want to say it’s pretty similar to Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, but with a musician that actually exists. Overall, a pretty funny and enjoyable movie that shows that Al has never lost his mojo. I would even say it’s the most underrated movie of 2022. Moving on. 

Number 4: Bullet Train 

At first, I had very little interest in seeing this movie, but then I watched it out of boredom and I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did. Yeah, the movie isn’t as stylish as I was promised but it was pretty stylish. I did enjoy the story, as it was surprisingly tightly written, with payoff after payoff. It’s also a pretty funny movie, like I loved the multiple Thomas the Tank Engine references throughout the movie, because I watched the show as a kid a lot, and hell, I had an interest in trains. I thought it was nice how this movie knows a lot about Thomas more then any other thing that references it. These are the references I like. Unlike in Chip ‘n Dale where they reference something and move on, this use of references plays a role into a character, particularly, Brian Tyree Henry’s character, Lemon. I just love this character, and he’s honestly the best part of the hole movie for me. I like how he just survives everything, like at the end where The Prince got hit by a truck, the guy driving that truck was him all a long, which is insanely hilarious. Also that did give me vibes to Deadpool 2, with Dopinder killing that scientist guy, given that this movie is directed by the same guy as that film. I would also like to mention that I did like the dramatic stuff with the Asian character who I thought was pretty fleshed out. Overall, I liked this movie a lot, and like the “Weird Al” biopic, this is another underrated movie from 2022. 

Number 3: Top Gun: Maverick

This was an amazing theater experience. Top Gun: Maverick was a great movie. I had a great time with this movie, and so did my parents who thought this was the best movie of 2022. Its down to earth plot is pretty believable and the flight scenes are very edge of your seat. The only problem I have with this is that it kind of feels like a rehash of this first, but that did hurt the movie for me. Overall, a great movie. Tom Cruse, keep making movies. Now here come the 2 best movies. 

Number 2: The Batman

I’m just gonna say a lot of things about this movie. The Batman is probably one of the best comic book films in a long time. Robert Pattinson’s performance as Batman is so awesome. I liked Pattinson in Good Time (a pretty underrated film) and The Lighthouse, and this is one of his best. Colin Farrell is unrecognizely amazing as The Penguin. The Riddler is an amazing villain, I like how he’s portrayed as a serial killer rather than just a villain like in Batman Forever. Speaking of comparisons, this movie give me vibes to The Dark Knight trilogy and the Tim Burton Batman films, it’s like those movies mush together. The action and fight sequences are so amazing, especially that chase scene. The score by Micheal Giacchino is fantastic, gives me chills every time when I listen to it. The cinematography is excellent with dark nights that add into the film’s chilling atmosphere. The only problem I would like to point out is that the scenes can drag but other than that, it is the best comic book film in resent years. I would also like to point out that the guy in the cell next to Riddler is not the Joker imo, I think it’s Two-Face because the way he looked. Go give this a watch if you haven’t seen it. Now here’s my number one favorite of the year. 

Number 1: Everything Everywhere All at Once

I’ve never seen a movie of the 2020s decade this good then Everything Everywhere All at Once. There are just some many things I can praise. The acting is great, the writing is stellar, the characters are likable, the cinematography is great, the editing is stylish, the action is enjoyable, and has a powerful message about family. The guys who did the fucking “Turn it Down for What” video did a superb job at this movie. I can’t wait to check out there other movie, Swiss Army Man, where Harry Potter farts. Thank you, movie. You’re everything to me.

2022 was a pretty solid year for movies. There were a few exciting ones, but there are pretty big sickers. Anyways, let’s look at the 2023 movies.

Ant Man 2. He better go into someone’s ass.

Shazam 2. Guess who’s back. 

John Wick 4. Badass time. 

Mario movie. It’s a him, Mario

Guardians 3. Finally, Jimmy will finally give us this thing.

Little Mermaid remake. I want The Little Merman to be in this

Spider-Man: Across to Spider-verse. This will make that one Family Guy episode look like an anime.

The Flash. I’m not sure if it’ll come out.

Indiana Jones 5. I hope Jame Mangold isn’t the next perpetrator, like Spielberg and Lucas were.

The Marvels. Twitter better not go after me if I don’t like (oh wait, I think it will disappear from society)

Blue Beetle. Who is this guy?

A Haunting in Venice. Supernatural horror movie?

Kraven the Hunter. This has violence and movies and sex on TV.

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. I don’t know about this? 

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom: I wonder where Ambra is?

Hope this will be a good year.