Eyeball McCool

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A man, a plan, a canal: David Lee Roth

Minneapolis

Favorite films

Recent reviews

The Substance 2024

★★½ Watched 08 Feb 2025

Dull, lazy, and guilty of everything that it’s supposedly “satirizing”. It’s the love child of Cronenberg and Verhoeven if neither one of them had ever heard of the concept of subtext.
That being said I can’t quite bring myself to the level of actually hating it. It’s overall a pretty average movie. It just feels worse than it actually is because you can see so much lost potential in it.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus 2009

★★★ Watched 09 Jan 2025

This movie is what happens when you drop acid and watch that episode of Seinfeld where George gets in trouble for checking out the CBS exec’s fifteen-year-old daughter’s cleavage.

Popular reviews

Back to the Future Part II 1989

★½ Rewatched 20 Dec 2023 1

What the hell is happening right now? This movie is so fucking weird.
I honestly am having a pretty hard time understanding the plot because I can’t be bothered to care.
Jennifer spends a lot of time unconscious. Like, a lot of time.
Everybody is a caricature. How is the acting this bad? Is it self aware?
In the first movie I wanted George to get with Lorraine. I’m halfway through and I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to…
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio 2022

★★½ Watched 10 Dec 2022 1

Lots of things done really well in this movie, but you can read about those things in every other review. That being said, I feel like this movie is getting a pass on two pretty crucial elements that it failed at:
1) It’s a musical, but the songs are fucking terrible. Like, embarrassingly bad. Bland music, atrocious singing, stupid lyrics. No one on earth is going to listen to any of these songs for fun, ever.
2) It’s pretty fucking…

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