This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
What in the Matrix hell!!!
I was lucky enough to catch Don’t Worry Darling a few days early, and my first question is this: Why the fuck is this film getting spit on so much?
Sure, Olivia Wilde’s Stepford Wives - Truman Show love child isn’t flawless, but it’s far from the punching bag critics have been beating up on ever since its memeification at Venice. Honestly, did I watch the same movie, or was it some new cut done…
David Leitch’s latest, Bullet Train, rolls into theatres this week and while it’s not the smooth maglev’d ride its double entendre of a title would suggest, it’s certainly an entertaining one. Starring Brad Pitt, whose week promoting the film has been one long parade of Fruity Pebbles-inspired linen-blend suits and skirts, Bullet Train is packed with about as much colour and energy as a bowl of the Post cereal.
Admittedly, I was pretty lethargic heading into this one—in a few…
Finally, after an eternity of waiting, Denis Villeneuve’s unicorn of a project, Dune, gets to strut its stuff out in public.
And my god is she beautiful.
To be honest, I don’t even know where to start—I feel like a child with low blood sugar in a Wonka-sized candy store. Actually, the more I think about it: how the fuck did Villeneuve even know where to start? The source material is so goddamn rich. Yet Villeneuve, somehow, has managed to…
Before I dive into Barbarian (which, btw, was very good), I must first share my theatre experience. Immediately behind me sat two teenage girls, anxiously talking themselves through every scare. Either side of me were the horror veterans—my steely comrades inured to both the bloody and the bizarre. Directly in front of me were the high school hooligans, who, judging by their boyish giggles, had just witnessed breastfeeding for the first time. And in the middle of them all, I stayed…
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse—though a photosensitive epileptic’s worst nightmare—takes the glitchy baton from the first film and sprints with it! With a new directing team, and nearly five years between instalments, the second chapter of the Spider-Verse trilogy picks up right where the groundbreaking first one left off, barely dropping the ball over its lengthy 140-minute runtime.
What I like most about Across The Spider-Verse is its balls (pause). Rather than bend the knee to the curse of the sequel,…
Is Benoit Blanc the ultimate disruptor?
I had a hard time deciding whether or not Rian Johnson’s Knives Out follow-up Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery was on par with its genre-reviving predecessor (seriously, I was up and down more than the shield around the Mona Lisa). Despite my inner bickering, when the hydrogen gas settled I was left unable to say anything other than “I loved it,” and I put a lot of stock in simply whether or not…
From what I’ve read, the criticisms of Edgar Wright’s latest, Last Night in Soho, seem to be centred around a disconnect between the two halves of the film—in this case, a strong front end is followed by a disjointed back end (which also happens to be the story of my love life). While I understand this point of view, I can’t say I agree with it. For me, Last Night in Soho was a thoroughly enjoyable movie from start to…
Full disclosure: I’m probably in that < 1% that doesn’t regard Get Out as a certifiable masterpiece. And I’m not a part of the hand-holding chain that thinks Us is a sophomore classic. To me, both are incredibly average films with muddled social commentaries. I realize in saying that I’ve probably lost most of my audience. But for those of you who have come this far…allow me to lose a few more of you.
Nope, the third film from Jordan Peele, falls…
With a 7-4 workday, errands, two cans of (sugar-free) Red Bull, and a steady stream of gangster rap already under my day’s utility belt, I headed to the 10pm showing of The Batman looking like a henchman about to be thrown through a window. (Unintentionally) dressed in all-black (and a few blinks away from self-inflicted narcolepsy) I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to fight crime or commit it. But as I took my seat—and the audience filled in around me—I…
Whether intended or not, Everything Everywhere All at Once is a rallying cry to all other filmmakers out there. Step your fucking game up! it screams. Do more with less! it shouts. Somehow—in the era of bloated, endlessly bankrolled, committee-produced, studio monstrosities—The Daniels have managed to modestly concoct a wholly original, heart-melter of a film that puts all of those so-called “blockbusters” to shame.
And I’m fucking here for it!
EEAaO is a brilliant, brilliant film, and it’s a goddamn tragedy…
Part two of Barbenheimer Day, Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer, was a much different moviegoing experience than Barbie, but it was an experience all the same let me tell you!
The change in energy and tone was palpable heading from one theatre to the other. Given the starkly disparate subject matter of Oppenheimer and Barbie, I suppose this was to be expected; but shifting from a crush of pink women to a horde of dude-bros who recently changed their Instagram bios to…
I’m sure it comes as a surprise to no one, but Barbenheimer Day brought with it some of the best movie crowds I’ve seen in my neck of the woods for a long time. The pinked-out, heavily perfumed Barbie crowd, in particular, was cheering and clapping before a single frame had even been projected. Thankfully, writer-director Greta Gerwig delivers the goods, treating audiences to a sweet film with a lot of heart.
The film starts with what is essentially a…