Hello friends.

I wanted to come on here and talk about what’s been happening lately, because to put it lightly it’s been rough.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been hit with the biggest wave of anxiety and depression I’ve had in a while for a few reasons and I thought to release some of the tension I would express my thoughts through here.

Firstly let’s get the obvious out of the way, as we all know by now Trump has been re-elected as president and in turn has made me and many others fear for the future, as I have friends who are LGBTQ+, women and people of colour who I’m very fond of and wishing them nothing but the best in these bleak times, and before anyone says “you live in Australia, it won’t affect us” yes it will. Our country has a history of following in some of Americas footsteps and we will definitely be affected in one way or another. I could be wrong but I think that’s how it’s gonna go.

I just wanted to say to all who are affected and or worried because of this election, you matter, you deserve to live, and you are safe with me. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Now on a more personal note that’s not the only thing that’s been affecting me, as some of you may know by now, my beloved dog Pippy passed away on the 28th of October. This all started because of a limp in her leg which we found was because of a tumour that grew on her spine which in turn caused a separation between her spine and nervous system. What makes this even worse is not only was she meant to live for another ten years but she was also the second loved one I lost this year, the other being my great auntie Betty who I lost back in July, and as you can imagine trying to cope with the loss of both of them hasn’t been easy.

Lastly I wanted to just talk about my general anxiety I’ve been dealing with, in September I decided to continue my film studies up in Sydney as after all this is one of the art forms I’m very passionate about and would love to continue pursuing, however recently imposter syndrome has taken full effect and I feel like I’m not fit to continue pursuing my passion's, and being on the autism spectrum makes it difficult for me to try and keep up with others and therefore sparks not only the fear of failure, but also fear of disappointment amongst my peers. I guess all I can really do is try my best and more or less be open to failure rather than fear it.

Now I wanna preface that I’m not looking for reassurance I just wanted to talk about how I’ve been feeling to you all because this last month has hit me really hard and fast, and also because I’m very passionate about mental health and wanted to hop on to say it’s ok to feel these feelings and there's always people out there who want to help you.

As for me, I’m just gonna take things slow, I’m gonna continue my studies, play video games, go on walks, spend time with friends and family, listen to music and just try to enjoy my time on this earth without having to worry about anything that’s out of my control. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read all this and I hope you all take care of yourself.

Anyway I’m gonna go listen to Green Days American Idiot again, I’ll talk to you all soon.