Salomon Strid’s review published on Letterboxd:
This review may contain spoilers.
LET'S WATCH: THE NUN 2
Oh shit fuck, they added this film to Finland's Netflix. Hell, since my expectations are pretty much as low as they can get, this movie might actually surprise me.
-ooohhh, the generic ball-rolling-from-darkness set up followed by a loud noise in my ear. Not a very strong start
-the priest getting roasted alive, BASED. Wanna bet Valak is suddenly unable to do anything similar for the rest of the movie?
-fuck me that random nun recapping the plot of the previous movie has to be one of the shittiest and most forced exposition dumps I've seen. Talk about unnatural
-aw fuck, this movie is directed by the same unimaginitive knob who directed The Curse of La Llorona
-obvious one dimensional bullies are just greaaat, love these contrived set ups for lazy jumpscares
-ok the scene with the magazine stand, if really done practically, was pretty cool, even if you could see the jumpscare coming from a mile away
-that scene where the head mistress gets whacked around, LOL
-great, it's another mcguffin hunt. How original
-fuck me another painting scare, almost as hilarious as the one in The Conjuring 2! 😂😂
-Valak has a mean right hook
-Goatboy nooooo 🤣🤣🐏🐏
-who would've guessed it, after ruthtessly killing a couple of nameless extras Valak can't just snap the main character's neck and be done with her. I absolutely hate it when movies make their villains incompetent all of a sudden like this, just to pad out the run time
-"ROOOAR ROOARR" goes Valak and is still the most boring horror villain ever
-random goatdemon is random; why exactly do we need this second climax?? It's not like we give a single toss about these characters
-at the very least Taissa Farmiga carries this film, even though she mostly just runs around looking all wide-eyed and scared
-is Irene's outfit made of asbestos since Valak isn't able to fully engulf her like it did with the priest??
-poor Frenchie; Valak gets slapped around twice and still he gets the shit end of the stick
-pointless mid credits scene is pointless
-these Conjuring spinoffs really are the worst kind of Hollywood horror slop: safe bets for the studios to make money off of with the same recycled set ups and jumpscares and no real artistic value or imagination. Hell, they're not even dumb enough to make you laugh. They're just boring, plain and simple
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