Hit Man

Hit Man

Gaaaahhhhh! Netflix, you old dog, you got me again. I should’ve known better! You put together one of my all-time favorite directors, had him collaborate on a script with this year’s hotly tipped leading man, then paired him with a smoking hot, up and coming leading lady. Basically Netflix, you got my hopes raised up high.

And then you did what you almost always do, ninety-nine out of a hundred times: whether through some twisted development process that saps the ingenuity out of all your projects, or maybe through some kind of black magic where everything you touch turns to a steaming pile of mediocrity, you disappoint the hell out of me. You made me wonder if maybe Richard Linklater is losing his zeal for filmmaking—or maybe he was just looking to cash a check with that big red Netflix logo on the upper left. You confirmed that Glen Powell is a smirking, punchable irritant of a wannabe star who doesn’t know the difference between ACTING (his constant costume and accent changes are like outtakes from the hammiest reel ever) and performance (the way he neglects to thread together all of these disparate modes into a coherent whole just shows how limited his range really is). And you underserve Adria Arjona with a femme fatale role that never even feels remotely dangerous. You made everything feel flimsy and a bit sluggish and just so very, very Netflix.

I’m here shaking my fist at you Netflix. One day I’ll talk my kids into doing what really needs doing and we’ll cancel the hell out of our subscription.

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