WARNING. The following movie has:

1) 237 minutes in length
2) The movie title appearing after one hour of running time
3) A drag
4) Tosatsu
5) Kung-fu
6) Sex
7) Genital gore
8) Ultraviolence
9) Lesbians
10) A "Virgin Mary"
11) Erections
12) Kung Fu ass-kicking female teens
13) Psychotic menopausal female maniacs
14) Pornographic furniture
15) A Joshuu 701-gô: Sasori (1972) tribute with a pinky film spoof character called "Miss Scorpion"
16) Love
17) Romance
18) "Exposure"
19)…

Imagine that Luis Buñuel and David Lynch had intense homosexual encounters in a cheap motel in Tokyo under the influence of hallucinogens. Imagine that, after that, both (yes, both) conceived a single son. Finally, imagine that the aforementioned son made a movie and that every single scene in that movie was directed by him when he had an orgasm smoking opium.

That's Tetsuo, the true Iron Man, so the hell with the Marvel character. Tsukamoto takes us back to the…

Remember that Kiarostami is a humanist. He is concerned more with the human condition than with the motives of the characters, although he sometimes puts a lot of emphasis on the latter as well. Having said this, if any person has been put to the extreme of deciding to commit suicide, that situation is so tragically empathetic that the motives shouldn't matter. Kiarostami knew this: What would be the difference between a breakup, the assassination of somebody, the loss of…

A REVIEW FOR MY #1 FAVORITE FEATURE FILM OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE, AND MAYBE FOREVER WITH A 99.95% PROBABILITY.

Don't read it as a review, but as a magazine article. This is the longest thing I have ever written about one single film, but it is also the only review that made me cry out of sentiment while constructing it.

Before starting to construct a modest, fully developed essay about Béla Tarr's Sátántangó, let's make a nostalgic resume about some…

1 + 1 = 1

No, it is not a reference to Tarkovsky's Nostalghia. Disguised as a story set in turbulent times about the quest of a pair of twins embarking on a revelatory journey to fulfill their mother's last request, at its core, Incendies is a story about an admirable woman. This woman had the honor of being a mother who always stuck to her principles and, breaking all possible multicultural frontiers that were creating a harsh reality, understood…

A film that, needless to say, has a number of correct subjective interpretations directly proportional to the amount of viewers that saw it with a high attention span and an open mind, in my humble opinion, can be more easily dissected if:

I. It is seen passively.

“I'd rather people feel a film before understanding it."
- Robert Bresson

“We think too much and feel too little."
- Charles Chaplin.

Some things do not have to make sense. The mind…

“Why are you guys so anti-dictatorship? Imagine if America was a dicatatorship! You could let 1% of the people have all the nation’s wealth. You could help your rich friends get richer by cutting their taxes and bailing them out when they gamble and lose. You could ignore the needs of the poor for health-care and education. Your media would appear free; but would secretly be controlled by one person and his family. You could wire-tape phones. You could torture…

The Cremator is a two-layered experience of immense depth, let alone one of the counted films in history that can be called "ahead of its time".

With a staggering cinematography, the most memorable male character in the Czech New Wave, a neo-noir ambience, an hypnotic directing, a terrifying score, and probably a leading performance that deserves to be held as one of the best in cinema history, The Cremator is an unapologetic downward spiral to delusional madness of a man…

Before you ask, this is not my first Refn movie. In that way, I can know that:

- He still likes to dress his crooks with light grey pants and have some of them bald, like if they were still living in Denmark.
- He still uses an awesome techno soundtrack (with some pop touches that I can forgive) to open his films and to close them. The underground nudist dive bars / seedy joints cannot be omitted, of course.…

A story about a boy training a kestrel during his free time, this is not.

Ken Loach is perhaps the most important socialist name amidst the filmmakers that created and encouraged the disillusionment towards modern society through the Kitchen Sink Realism. Member of the UK Labour Party for more than three decades, a party responsible for banning the death penalty, the inauguration of the comprehensive education system and the Open University, and for the abolition of theater censorship (all of…