• Tenet

    Tenet

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    dead poets society 🤝🏻 tenet (killing their neils)

  • Heretic

    Heretic

    ★★★

    scientology? omg TOM CRUISE MENTIONED

  • Carry-On

    Carry-On

    ★★★½

    last christmas i gave you my heart, but the very next day you tried to kill me doing 70 down the highway

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★★★½

    back when they stole lil timmy tim’s oscar

  • Maria

    Maria

    ★★★½

    the venice film festival being mentioned in the film and then maria’s biopic premiering there 47 years later… PEAK CINEMA

  • The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

    The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

    ★★

    this took longer to end than the original trilogy’s 3/4 hour-ish extended cuts. maybe even longer than the 12 hours put together. seriously.

  • Longlegs

    Longlegs

    ★★★

    people who were born on the 14th… is this fucking play about us

  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

    ★★★★

    daniel craig playing a private investigator cinematic universe

  • Gravity

    Gravity

    ★★★

    sorry but the la la land fan inside of me just couldn’t stop thinking about gosling and emma every time she said her name was ryan stone

  • Kramer vs. Kramer

    Kramer vs. Kramer

    ★★★★½

    “kramer, i just met your son” well i guess you did

  • Panic Room

    Panic Room

    ★★★

    these characters that jared leto is playing… i don’t think david fincher likes you man

  • The Invasion

    The Invasion

    ★★

    the movie is goddamn awful but i’ve just seen blonde nicole kidman and blonde daniel craig as a couple so my life will never be the same ever again

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