This is it, the pinnacle of cinema. All downhill from here. Can’t believe it took me this long to rewatch but goddamn this is even more perfect than last time.

Back in February I wrote a decent review for this about my greatest fear and it was wild. I sat there one night furiously typing away, letting it all out. It was absolutely crazy. At first I wasn’t gonna put it in this review but I should probably do that. So here it is, me letting my soul out at 11 something on Saturday February 12th:

I need to watch twilight here’s why. Thursday night scrolling through last.fm realizing I need to listen to a new artist so I look at artists similar to my favorite, Florence & The Machine. Of Monsters and Men looks cool. I begin listening. Saturday unlocks realization of the meaning of my nightmares and worst fear: losing control. Edward fears of losing control with Bella throughout the series, I began thinking of this and madly typing away when I should have slept on Saturday night. I hadn’t Even watched it again, but I desperately need to watch it again to post it. Songs that made me realize are Alligator and Human. DON’T. LOSE. CONTROL. CAN’T. LOSE. CONTROL.

This is my first real length review, the first of me opening up. I’m terrified to let this go out, but I understand it’s important enough to put out. It may not be eloquently written but that’s not the point, I need to dump my thoughts, who better to tie them to than Edward Cullen. Somehow Twilight has actually become relatable, not just some cool fantasy movie I like.

I write through the lens of Edwards greatest fear: losing control, mine too. Something that we share. Our lives, in some great and abstract way, tied to our greatest fear of losing control. For Edward we see how when he believes Bella dies then he tries to die, so if he were to lose control with her he would again attempt to end it all. My life is bound to it by if I lose control its gone. I may seem to have amazing grades and a perfect life, nothing wrong. But wherever I turn there are cracks, small cracks, but cracks. I’m afraid of losing control because then these cracks would become more than tiny cracks. It’d be over, all over. Through my life I’ve had thousands upon thousands of dreams, aside from 1 in fourth grade I don’t remember any distinct dreams, however, I do have recurring nightmares. Some of my grades dropping and dropping, I thought it was merely because I was held to such a high standard I was scared for them to drop, I suppose it is slightly true, but not the greatest truth. Others about me falling into crime or drugs. I realized the other day that they’re all tied together, they all happen because I lose control on life. I can’t lose control, Edward can’t lose control. In a way, Edward Cullen and I are forever bound by this simple, yet odd truth. I suppose one’s greatest fear can define them. I sit here writing the basic outline of this at nearly 11 o’clock at night when i should be going to bed. I have yet to watch the movie again.

Hope that made a little sense. New thoughts I have are this: Bella is probably the second most important person to me in any movie I’ve watched, behind Donnie Darko. She sees the beauty in it all. When she’s there match making, cheering her friends on. She is finding beauty in everything, in everyone. I only wish I was able to see so much beauty in the world. This movie is so incredibly amazing I can’t even anymore.

Side thoughts that don’t matter: go Spartans (that’s the mascot of my school as well). BELLA IS A FUCKING GIRLBOSS OMG SHE WORE CONVERSE TO PROM ALSO KRISTEN STEWART IS BI LITERAL ICON I LOVE ❤️.

This review is mostly for myself Ig but whatever.

Here are the lyrics for “Human” which was the song I was talking about

When the words
Weigh heavy on the heart
I am lost
And lead only by the stars
Cage me like an animal
A crown with gems and gold
Eat me like a cannibal
Chasing the neon throne
Breathe in, breathe out
Let the human in
Breathe in, breathe out
And let it in
Plants awoke
And they slowly grow
Beneath the skin
So breathe in, breathe out
Let the human in
The air is silk
Shadows form a grill
If I lose control
I feed the beast within
Cage me like an animal
A crown with gems and gold
Eat me like a cannibal
Chase the neon throne
Breathe in, breathe out
Let the human in
Breathe in, breathe out
And let it in
Plants awoke
And they slowly grow
Beneath the skin
So breathe in, breathe out
Let the human in
Cage me like an animal
A crown with gems and gold
Eat me like a cannibal
Chase the neon throne

One of my favorite songs ever.
That about wraps it up