• Renaissance Man

    Renaissance Man

    ★½

    Haha, the producer was named "Vajna".

  • Taken

    Taken

    ★★★

    Go to U2 concerts and you will get kidnapped.

  • The Straight Story

    The Straight Story

    ★★★★★

    I began sobbing within five seconds. A gorgeous Midwestern tapestry of guilt, grief, and love. Lynch’s work was an endless stream of empathy and humility.

    Rest well, you incredible man. We’ll love you forever.

  • Alien

    Alien

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “An alien on a spaceship starts killing people” doesn’t sound that great a plot. But as usual, the plot isn’t really the point of the movie. Alien is a drastically misunderstood and shockingly dark movie (the iconicity it holds barely scratches the surface). Nothing else I know of tears into the center of our lives and existence as savagely as this does. Ridley Scott tells you exactly how he feels about the world, and here he tells it through sci-fi…

  • Back to the Future Part II

    Back to the Future Part II

    ★½

    So the only chance ever you had to watch Back to the Future Part II on October 21, 2015 has passed. I took that chance and it was massively overwhelming, because- well obviously Back to the Future 2 is a really pretty shit film.
    But looking past the quality- and to be fair, it's a supreme production with great actors- and past the fact the plot motion is fueled by contrivances, the jokes are lame as hell, it has that…

  • Brazil

    Brazil

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Terry Gilliam’s Brazil is probably the weirdest movie ever made. That’s one of many reasons it’s one of the best. It’s savagely weird. This is the movie Gilliam always wanted to make; it’s his child; it will be on his gravestone.
    Brazil is a viciously angry attack on the systemized, joyless, needlessly complicated bureaucracy of society; it’s largely about the claustrophobia of large spaces. It’s also an excuse for Gilliam to navigate from one weird image to another. For all…

  • Time Bandits

    Time Bandits

    ★★★★★

    Terry Gilliam is maybe the biggest force for deconstruction in movies today- being part of the Monty Python team, that’s expected. Team him up with comrade Python Michael Palin and you get a sprawling adventure that’s especially insane and irreverent.
    Time Bandits is sort of a postmodern fairytale, wanderings through the myths, legends, history, and present of culture and society- through the eyes of a child, probably the most important viewpoint out there. Kevin (played by Craig Warnock, who didn’t…

  • House

    House

    ★★★★★

    The mostly rawly unsettling movie I’ve ever seen. Domesticity masking unspeakable horrors. The most bizarre shitshow you’ll ever seen. Cannot be appraised fairly by human standards

  • Alien

    Alien

    ★★★★★

    Watched the best horror movie ever made again, let my mind go wild with its implications.

    Space- adulthood, alienation
    Corridor- vaginal
    Empty helmet running ship- atheism, AI
    Technology as mother
    In the beginning there was light
    Crew waking- birth
    Workers- middle age
    Working in space- adulthood
    Mother computer- literal mother holding their hand
    Mother- womb
    Brett and Parker- homosexuality
    Parker- profit
    Shuttle leaving ship- “pullout”
    Rough landing
    Slow, uncomfortable, building structure
    Brett “17 hours” Parker “25 hours”
    Lambert-Dallas- unrequited lust…

  • The Adventures of Robin Hood

    The Adventures of Robin Hood

    ★★★★

    Those dudes sure are merry.

  • Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

    Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

    ★★★½

    Still have a ton of affection for this. Lucas’ weaknesses come hand-in-hand with a delightfully weird vision. Far more to like about this than not. 

    Except Watto, who feels better suited to a Leni Reifenstahl movie.

  • Argylle

    Argylle

    ½

    Y’all only told me this was stupid. You didn’t say it had delusions about its cleverness *and* reams of misogyny. What a cynical piece of shit.

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