H-A-P-P-Y  B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y  T-O  ME!🥺

Yea this is probably the worst thing I’ve ever written but here goes…..
I’ve seen numerous people use this as a simple platform for venting, writing beautifully profound pices and cathartic self realisation and while mine is neither i still felt the need to articulate or at least attempt to, the bizarrely weird, surreal and perplexing feeling that was- or well, is turning 18. 

Having been ridiculously strained for the last month owing to the apparently sudden realisation of finals being oh so close, a suffocating stifling of everything seemed to be unending and add to that the whole “you’re now an adult” thing and lets just say i found perennially dreadfully anxious and trying to cram in as much persistence into as little a time as a month. 

February has always been a whirlwind, especially so since 2020 that triggered perhaps two of the most joyous, liberating, sombre, tumultuous and perhaps reflective years to me. From coming out to, realising various passions, being grateful and become a version of myself 13 year old me would think of as…honestly i don’t know 🤷🏽. 
 
It’s so weird to think of myself as technically an “adult” now who still thinks himself 16 having had an amazing group of friends and people, and literally a myriad of ever memorable experiences yet not having had a first boyfriend, getting drunk, going on vacation alone (which yes is happening but hasn’t at the moment) is just a peculiar feeling to have. 

My relationship with this app has also ironically been one of the great sources of fulfilment for the last 4 months or so and the comforting and heartwarming  feeling of putting your own words of thought to page (not exactly but whatever) for unquestionably some of the best writers I’ve come across to see and then witnessing some little yet delightful responses I’ve had the profound pleasure of receiving has been truly phenomenal so thank you to anyone who’s reading. 

I’d in some way hoped for this to be something I could look back on admittedly despite how cringe it comes across as so here’s hoping to a wonderful yet knowingly arduous year of imminent tremendous change to come and wishfully I’ll be much happier and in a place I’d want to be in this time next year. 

Oh and did I mention they got a cake with the Letterboxd logo on it 😭. 

Love you all! 
Anish.