From Peter Jackson, the visionary director of Lord of the Rings comes a film ten years in the making... because he shunted it off to his storyboard and effects guy to make The Hobbit. Welp, that's one more thing I can blame on The Hobbit movies.
Mortal Engines
Welcome to a post-apocalypse Earth, a world that still seems...pretty okay looking? Nevertheless, humanity is forced to fight over limited resources by.... using tons of resources to live on massive mobile cities that devour smaller mobile cities in a harrowing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, except for the humans that live in sky cities, or in mobile home parks, or in just normal cities, which will make you wonder why parts of humanity have decided to live on massive mobile cities that consume smaller mobile cities in a harrowing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Tom Natsworthy: "That's what happens when the Earth's crust gets shattered into a thousand pieces."
Is it, though?
When the world is threatened by an ancient weapon, the only thing standing in its way are these extremely attractive people [Hester Shaw and Tom Natsworthy], and these extremely attractive people [Katherine Valentine and Bevis Pod], and also these extremely attractive people [Anna Fang, Captain Khora, Mils Lindstrom, Sathya] whose names you won't remember except for Hester because her undead cyborg dad won't stop shouting it.
Shrike: "HESTER!!!"
Together they'll take on professional bad person, Hugo Weaving, in a special effects filled race- Wait? Did I just say undead cyborg dad? [Shrike roars]. He even narrates the intro!
[Shrike: "The age of the great predator cities."]
[Shrike voice] This movie is ridiculous!
Gear up for a visual feast of incredible art design and intricate detailed concepts. Then choke on an entire series worth of these things all crammed into one movie.
Herbert Melliphant: "You're just a skivvy from the lower tiers. If those dim-witted spanner heads beat you to the bins again, you'll be back to cleaning the bogs."
Tom Natsworthy: "What the hell are Southies?"
Hester: "Scavs."
Hester: "They're the Ruh-Shan. The Anti-Traction League of Shan Guo."
Thaddeus Valentine: "Nothing can stand in the face of this. Not the battle hammers of Archangel, not the howitzers of Panserstadt. Not even the guns of the Anti-Tractionists."
As it rushes past all the cool stuff you'll actually want to see and explore so that it can just do Star Wars. [Shots comparing the final battle between London and Shan Guo with the battle between the Death Star and the Rebels] Ugh. All you guys are missing is the father reveal.
Darth Vader: "Search your feelings. You know it to be true."
Thaddeus Valentine: "Your mother never told you. You already knew." [clip of Thaddeus kissing Hester's mother, Pandora Shaw]
Yep. Really set myself up for that one.
So put on your fanciest waistcoat, and top that off with your most ridiculous hat, for an ambitious project that made sure to do every dystopian earth trope, all of the steampunk things, and as much social commentary as possible...
Professor Arkengarth: "We're about to lose our American deities!" [He runs tow save two large minion statues]
Tom Natsworthy: It may very well be they forgot how to read and write altogether." [Shot of a smashed touchscreen phone]
...but forgot to tell a story you can follow, with characters you actually care about, so you probably forgot to see it. Aww man! Now we're never gonna find out of the Shan Guonese, Anti-Tractionists and Municipal Darwinists can coexist... or what any of those words even mean!
Starring: [Robert Sheehan as Tom Natsworthy] He-mione Danger; [Hera Hilmar as Hester Shaw] Do You Want To Know How I Got These Scars?; [Hugo Weaving as Thaddeus Valentine] Glower of London; [Jihae as Anna Fang] Sky Captain and The World of Taekwondo; [Stephen Lang as Shrike] Previously onThe Walking Dad; [Tractionist London] London Crawling; People Falling; People Falling; People Falling; and these actual names from the movie: [Thaddeus Valentine, Bevis Pod, Herbert Melliphant, The Origins of the Sixty Minute War: A Lesson From History by Nimrod Beauregard Pennyroyal.] [Posh English voice] Please sir! Beauregard Pennyroyal was my father's name. Call me Nimrod. [Posh English cough]
Even though Mortal Engines was a little-seen film, Screen Junkies chose to make this video because they felt that the poorly-reviewed, over-stuffed, convoluted Mortal Engines was a perfect fit for the Honest Trailers format. Some fans had suggested that they make an Honest Trailer for Bumblebee (2018), but the writers had little to say about it except that it was good.
The original cut of this Honest Trailer contained a run containing every single line of dialogue spoken by the character of Shrike. This run was included on the express instructions of writer/producer Joe Starr, who was obsessed with screaming "HESTER!" all week at work and home (to the chagrin of his wife).
Mortal Engines actress Menik Gooneratne tweeted about this Honest Trailer, joking that she appreciated being referred to as "really, really good looking."
Honest Trailers - Mortal Engines has a 98.8% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Mary Sue wrote "Watching Honest Trailers boil Mortal Engines down to its clangy, tongue-tying essence makes me laugh and also simultaneously cry when I think about how much time, money, and effort so many people poured into this catastrophic mess." MOE Lane wrote that the Honest Trailer was "Brutal, but presumably fair. I didn’t actually see Mortal Engines, and apparently neither did almost anybody else. I probably should have, but this Honest Trailer raises a compelling argument as to why I was probably right not to, all along." The Malay Mail said the comparison to Star Wars was "hilarious" and wrote that, "Screen Junkies have once again done a great job at pointing out bits from the movie that we could probably do without."
Joe Paur of Geek Tyrant noted that although he liked the film, he also enjoyed the Honest Trailer, writing "I liked it [Mortal Engines] for what it was. Was it perfect? Absolutely not. Was it filled with all kinds of strange and weird elements that deserve to be torn apart in this new episode of Honest Trailers? Absolutely, and they sure to have some fun with it."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Mortal Engines.
