Armageddon is the 103rd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Erica Russell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 1998 science-fiction disaster film Armageddon. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on May 26, 2015, to coincide with the theatrical release of the disaster film San Andreas. It is 4 minutes 20 seconds long. It has been viewed over 3.7 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Armageddon on YouTube
"The movie equivalent of Taco Bell: looks okay on the surface, but for the love of God, don't think too hard about what's inside." ~ Honest Trailers - Armageddon
Script[]
From the promising action director of The Rock and Bad Boys (Michael Bay) comes his last fun movie before transforming into the Michael Bay we all know and hate (shows clip from Transformers): Armageddon.
Gear up for the best film about drilling into an asteroid and nuking it since the one that came out two months earlier (Deep Impact), and let yourself enjoy this guilty pleasure that's the movie equivalent of Taco Bell: looks okay on the surface, but for the love of God, don't think too hard about what's inside.
Prepare for an all-out assault on your senses where everyone is always yelling, the clock is always ticking, and everything that can go "boom" will go "boom", including the title of the movie. Get ready for a Michael Bay version of space, where fiery explosions happen in a vacuum; meteorites are filled with explosives; asteroids look like they were designed by Tim Burton; astronauts only walk in straight lines; Michael Bay works at NASA; space cars have guns; spaceships have guns; space dementia exists, and is a thing; drunk Russians can Fonzie a spaceship back to life; and it's easier to turn oil drillers into astronauts than teach astronauts how to use a drill (Ben Affleck in DVD commentary: I asked Michael why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me to shut the f**k up, so that was the end of that talk.).
But this movie isn't just about things exploding while guys make loud noises at each other. It's also about love. Witness a romantic triangle blossom between A.J.; Harry, his Bruce Willis-ish, Die Hard-ish mentor (A.J.: Harry, I love you!); and Harry's daughter, Grace, who's just kinda there to be hot. If A.J. wants to prove himself worthy of Harry's daughter, he'll have to drill a deep, hard hole right in the crack of a big, dark rock before Harry will admit he's good enough at drilling to drill his daughter. (Harry: You'll take care of my little girl now. That's your job.) And if that wasn't enough of a creepy father-daughter relationship for you, watch as A.J. seduces Liv Tyler while her real dad sings for them in the background. (A.J. makes animal crackers walk up Grace's stomach while Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" plays in the background)
Grace: Do you think it's possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?
No, I can promise you they are not.
Starring Taco Flavored Kisses (For My Ben) (Ben Affleck as A.J. Frost), That Guy From All Those Movies (William Fichtner as Willie Sharp), Bruce Drillis (Bruce Willis as Harry Stamper), Man, I'm Glad I Called That Guy (Steve Buscemi as "Rockhound"), Da-Dum, Da-Dum, Dad Looks Like a Lady (Liv Tyler as Grace Stamper), Wow (Owen Wilson as Oscar Choice), Brad Pitt's Eskimo Bro (Billy Bob Thornton as Dan Truman), Notorious M.C.D. (Michael Clark Duncan as J. Otis Kurleen Bear), and B-Roll.
Honest title for Armageddon - Drill Hard. Title design by Robert Holtby.
Drill Hard
Harry: I'm sure they'll make good astronauts, but they don't know jack about drilling.
Ben Affleck in DVD commentary: I mean, this is a little bit of a logic stretch, let's face it. 'They don't know jack about drilling'? How hard can it be? Aim the drill at the ground and turn it on.
Trivia[]
- This is the second Honest Trailer to not feature any spoken comments from Epic Voice Guy after revealing the honest title. The first one to do so is Thor: The Dark World.
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for several other action movies including Transformers, Independence Day, John Wick, The Expendables, Taken, Mad Max: Fury Road, Die Hard, Fast Five, Predator, Con Air and many others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception []
Honest Trailers - Armageddon has a 99.0% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant said the Honest Trailer contained "wonderfully funny shots" against the film. Geeks of Doom wrote the Honest Trailer was "hilarious" and said "the trailer highlights all the now-typical Bay-isms like constant yelling, over the top explosions (even the title of the movie goes boom), guns on spaceships, AND space dementia! In the best part, they play on the mind numbing question of why they had to train oil drillers to be astronauts, rather than vice versa."
CinemaBlend wrote that Screen Junkies "took the almost 20 year old blockbuster down a couple of well deserved pegs" and that the Honest Trailer's comparison to Taco Bell is "the nicest compliment we've heard paid towards a Michael Bay movie in a good long while." In a similar vein, The Comedy Bureau thought that Screen Junkies were less brutal with their takedown of the film compared to previous Honest Trailers about Michael Bay films. In addition, The Comedy Bureau declared Screen Junkies "have some of the sharpest jokes that also happen to be some of the most salient points about movies."
SlashFilm noted that the Honest Trailer contains "plenty of nitpicking about the director’s bombastic style" and "the best portion of this Honest Trailer (besides the much better title of Drill Hard) is the use of actual commentary from the DVD release of Armageddon" which involved Ben Affleck questioning why oil drillers were trained to be astronauts. In their article on the Honest Trailer, IndieWire argued that the criticism about oil drillers being trained to be astronauts was "neither here nor there. The bottom line is shit blows up real good, including the title of the movie, and it’s still somehow enjoyable no matter how ludicrous it become."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Armageddon
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Erica Russell and Andy Signore
Edited by Dan Murrell
External links []
- The Armageddon Honest Trailer Is One Big Middle Finger To Michael Bay - CinemaBlend article
- Honest Trailers: Michael Bay’s ‘Armageddon’ - Geeks of Doom article
- ‘Armageddon’ Is the ‘Movie Equivalent of Taco Bell’ in New ‘Honest Trailers’ (Video) - The Wrap article
- Armageddon Honest Trailer: Michael Bay Directed the Movie Equivalent of Taco Bell - SlashFilm article
- Watch: Honest Trailer For Michael Bay’s Last Fun Movie ‘Armageddon’ - IndieWire article
- Honest Trailer For Michael Bay's ARMAGEDDON - Geek Tyrant article
- Watch The Honest Trailer For ‘Armageddon,’ Michael Bay’s ‘Last Fun Movie’ - Uproxx article
- Honest Trailers Takes on “Armageddon” - The Comedy Bureau article