Posts by spold

Invasive species

Never mind the Sea Eagles it's the invasive Norwegian Blues that perch on top of these things that they really have to watch out for. Beautiful plumage, but vicious!

This sort of government meddling really gets on your tits.

Patience...

It must be the Kung Fu Master Po Sagemaker... Grasshopper says: "I seek not to know the answers, but to understand the questions.".

(And I work with AI). Ok so you have to be over a certain age (grasshopper).

This is taken very seriously

We are really concerned about workplace safety.... so much that we just posted a report on Wednesday about something that happened in May...

It also provides a different take on workers giving their employer the finger.... (yes groan, you need a groan today).

Remember AI guard rails are the new attack target for pleasure, fun, and mischievousness.

AIpple's Bottom of the Barrel Content scraping crumbles, ferments an an a-peel to deCider to stop the rot.

Seasonal gremlins

What's more they have been spotted flying over New Jersey..... their routes need to be carefully monitored.

Well obviously...

>>>

...hitherto unsuspected resurgence in the dynamo's power

<<<

Well obviously it got "Clangered" and there was a sudden infusion of blue string soup.

They accidentally thawed the sensible person, who had been stashed away among the frozen peas in aisle 7. Won't happen again (thawing them).

Goose Crap

The IBM AS/400 - known as "Silver Lake" - the pond in the middle of Rochester, MN down the road from the now deceased IBM manufacturing plant referred to as the "Blue Zoo" because of the building colour. The Silver Lake was fed by cooling water from the local power plant, so the pond never froze even in the -1 gazillion winter temperatures, hence it was constantly covered in birds even then. So the "Silver Lake" project was also referred to as "Goose Crap".

In the bigger brighter picture....

This is all part of Google Sun (tm) for consumers - several sunny days will be available on a trial basis. After that you will need to accept Google's Ts & Cs and Privacy Policy (28 pages - which includes sharing all your information as to what you may be doing in the Google Sun (tm) as well tracking where you are at all times (essential information for the delivery of the Google Sun (tm) service)), and confirm you have read and understood these (in the dark of course). After this, additional sunlight will be available on a "pay per ray" basis.

Stop complaining...

We know where you are and we are coming to get you anyway....

I thought....

Fax is limited to being a colloquial office term.... as in "he's a real fax machine!" = sits in the corner and does nothing...

Let's not sugar coat things here.

Linear miscalculation

Fire truck one minute, fire f**ked next minute. AI Training error, expected output not as planned, will receive additional training... no no AVOID the train!

Please let the business and the lawyers know there will now be a new wonderful huge smorgasbord of data available for "Legal Hold" in potential litigation or regulatory review/audit.

Vendor demonstrations

Vendors were invited to set-up their systems in an old Panda Car parked outside New Scotland Yard. The best system demonstrated an 80% true positive score: Plod, Plod, Plod, Lord Lucan, Plod. As usual the Horizon system set-up 'round the back of the City of London Post-office achieved an 80% false positive score: Criminal, Criminal, Criminal, Elvis, Criminal.

Once let loose, hopefully the Court of Justice of the European Union, that handles privacy cases, will give them a special award for gross dumbfuckery, which comes with an appropriate fine of 4% of global turnover.

ChatGPT has refined the criteria for this this award and says:

The Golden "Who Thought This Was A Good Idea?" aka Dumbfuckery Award.

Presented to the individua/company whose actions have left us all questioning not just their judgment, but the very fabric of common sense.

Criteria:

Willfully ignoring basic safety and privacy rules.

Ignoring clear instructions with catastrophic results.

Making a decision that simultaneously defies logic, reason, and most known laws of physics.

Displaying a level of self-sabotage that goes beyond the realm of mere incompetence.

Sudden choices

Ummm... so you have up to 2 minutes to deal with the situation, based on the type of device I guess you can: i) try and remove the batteries (that might explode in the process), ii) throw it out of the nearest window (like you might do with any other malfunctioning hand-grenade), iii) flush it down the loo (a resulting pressure wave forcing the contents of the sewer system up all the toilets in the building) iv) if it's a big big vehicle battery then set the car on self-drive to an appropriate local destination (such as Slough - thank-you Mr. Betjeman), v) ask the intern to run it over to the most useless member/manager of the team and tell them there is a call for them vi) just run like **** (remembering to take it out of your jacket) vii) blame AI (Accessory/Automotive Incendiary).

Really, I think this should be addressed in the user manual (so if it happens you can consult it and proceed accordingly).