Posts by Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

Owww indeed...

Wouldn't you just have to switch the loudness button on, thereby inverting back the already inverted Fletcher-Munson Curve? I would assume that anyone listening to Motorhead on cans would do this by default anyway, the hairy old rockers that they (probably) are. Maybe that's why they put in that feature - to neutralize the frequency response.

Not really what an Audio Engineer would appreciate though. Then again <cough>NS10s</cough>.

Good catch, missed that.

Trying to get a frequency response graph for the HD7 and came across this link which likened the HD7s to Superlux hd681b cans.

http://www.head-fi.org/t/546556/superlux-express-train/285

Interesting. Must look into that.

This is my rough criteria for what a decent set of cans should have.

1/ Do they sound good?

2/ Is the lead long enough, but not too long?

3/ Do they look cool (will they make me look like a tit when the fem vox comes to do her take, or worse, make her look like a tit, thereby crushing her already too fragile ego and throwing a hissy one?)?

4/ Will they break if I sit on them?

5/ Do they sound good?

Btw, you can now get Isone Pro for free over at http://www.jeroenbreebaart.com/

This plug in pack contains over a dozen of the best VST ever coded, by an authority on the subject and a very generous individual. You wouldn't need anything else, but this, it has all the tools needed to do a professional production. You just have to figure out how to use them, that's the hard bit ;-).

---------------------------------------------

Isone Pro - Binaural simulator

Isone Pro comes as bundle of two plugins:

Isone Pro - for simulation of a stereo loudspeaker setup; and

Isone Pro Surround - for simulation of a multi-channel setup.

With Isone pro, a virtual reproduction system and listening room can now be experienced simply using a high-quality headphones. The virtual reproduction system supports a variety of known reference loudspeakers. Furthermore, the reverb time of the virtual listening room and the distance to the virtual loudspeakers can be fully customized.

-----------------------------------------

Well, I suppose the HD7s must be 'high-quality', because I can hear one hell of a difference, with this plugin and these cans. It's easy to forget you've got them on and you're not listening on speakers. It's uncanny.

Btw, it caused a bit of a stir when he decided to give away his whole pack for free. He has new ones you can buy though. It really is worth reading his biography at the site. Impressive. Very impressive. And his plugins speak for themselves. I've bought a few myself.

To those looking for alternatives.

Sure most of you are way more tech savvy than me, but I mess about a lot with this stuff and fix computers for friends and family. So this is for the noobs who are reading, who have the time and inclination to set up even a fairly old machine with mostly free software. I'm being Windows specific here.

What I'm running at the moment on a fairly old machine, because it takes very little resources, and a multi-layered approach and is free and not too difficult to use, is Comodo Internet Security. If I can use it then you tech-heads won't have any troubles. Along with the anti-virus, you get a hips and a firewall and a sandbox. You can use it straight out the box/install by setting it to 'Proactive security' in the taskbar icon at the bottom, just right click and select 'configuration'.

See here for instructions and advice:

http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/how-install-comodo-firewall.htm

It really is worth taking the hour or two to read everything there and pretty soon you will have your CIS set up and running like a champ. Once this is done to your liking you can save your config file and then select as before at will, and even use it on other (similar) systems.

The anti-virus isn't bad. It can give some false positives, but I have it set for full heuristic, so to be expected. The HIPS, called Defense+ needs a few changes to get the best out of it, but it works fine out of the box/install as I mentioned. The firewall works a charm too. So it is an all in one integrated package on an old machine with hardly any resource hit for this kind of thing. Maybe I would get better av protection with avast or avira, but the hassle of setting them up is not worth it, they are resource hogs as well compared to what I have now. On new machines they are fine, but on older ones you can tell the difference in a big way. So everything is compatible with a nice easy to read GUI.

I would then chuck on Malwarebytes for a once weekly/every few days scan. And include Hitman Pro in there too.

Malwarebytes is free and fully functional for on-demand scanning. I have the pro version, but just use it on demand.

Hitman Pro is free as well in a similar vein, but if you do find any nasties you will have to activate it and this then starts a 30 day grace period, after which you will have to buy if you want it to still clean. You can still scan with it though, so if your system is clean, wait until you get another nasty... saves a few days that's all.

Another program that some laugh at but has its uses and is free is SAS. SuperAntiSpyware. It really comes to life when you are disinfecting a system that is riddled with crap, but on a clean machine it tends just to pick up tracking cookies and the odd trojan downloader. It is very fast though, which is why I mentioned it. It has picked up things that others have missed, also. Possibly its best feature though is the ability to set your home page only from SAS. This prevents browser hi-jacking. It only supports Internet Explorer, but that is the lowest level of your internet configuration as I understand it. One machine, the person only used FF, but he was still getting hi-jacked because the malware was changing his home page all the time. It's a small feature, but very useful. And make sure to turn off 'Use Proxy Server' or whatever it is in the config of Internet Explorer. This closes down another option for being taken over. Obviously if you don't need to use that feature, as I would assume most don't.

Another option is SpyBot Search and Destroy, but just use the 'Immunization' function, because on the whole it is quite slow and with poor detection rates. Update and Immunize once a month. Then forget about it.

And if you really want to go for it, install PrevX. It has excellent rootkit detection and is free for just scanning. It is super fast and has the benefit of being compatible with your other av. You can run PrevX and Comodo no problems. You might want to put in some exclusions in the config files obviously, but I have never had a problem. PrevX really is a great little second opinion real time scanner. But you can use it on demand or from the shell. Talking of rootkits, make sure you have a copy of Kaspersky TDSS killer. It's free too.

There you go. You're now all tooled up. It hasn't cost you anything and you can run it on a 10 year old laptop without too much penalty.

Now all you need to do is get a good hosts file and run it from HostsXpert and chuck in Homer, after you changed your DNS to Norton DNS or OpenDNS, or even Comodo's DNS. Btw, you get the option to use that when you set CIS up.

But try not to install GeekBuddy. It is a major resource hog that slows your machine way down. I'm not sure if it installs by default these days, but no problem - add/remove programs gets rid of it. Double check with Autoruns to make sure. Or use the Comodo version - Killswitch, another very hand utility to have around.

That's about it.

As for MSSE, it's a decent enough scanner, is free and lightweight to a certain degree. It's better than nothing and when I tend to use it is for technophobes that just want an av on their machine that they can totally forget about and pretend it is not there. EMET is good for system hardening too in this regard because once installed it can be pretty much forgotten. Of course you just set it to a basic level otherwise it is going to cause all kinds of problems that are hard to track down. But even set to the most basic level, I find it works just fine and will protect you against the 0 day exploits that were referenced in this article. Av doesn't really do that - it can help, but no Av is going to pick up more than what MSSE did, not by much anyway.

I'm not one of those people that say, Oh I don't need an Av. I could do without it, sure, but it is another level to your protection as long as it does not interfere with other things. But I'm certainly not one of these people that puts all their eggs in the mythical ANTI-VIRUS-SOLUTION basket either. You need HIPS, Firewall of course and Sandboxing.

God, don't set me off on sandboxing or virtual machines... a mere noob myself in this department, I find that I know more about it than 'some' people that 'know' about computers. But those that say "I don't use AV - Don't need it", tend to be people who are running Sandboxie or VirtualBox or both. But even they can get bitten if they get too complacent.

Sorry for the long post, it was for a noob that was interested. I've learned so much from others on this site, that it's nice to put something back sometimes (other than my overly verbose deranged rants ;-)).

Cheers.

Ok, but how far does their hubris extend?

The people that want to bomb them back to the last century keep talking about how crazy they are.

I don't think they are that crazy.

But let us assume they are as crazy as those people say.

Do you think their hubris would extend to blowing up an American War Ship?

Easily done. Don't even need the sunburns from russia that they may or may not have.

Of course they won't. Because they know that the us will turn them to glass.

So where do they draw the line?

I suspect they know they are going to be pounded.

They also know there is nothing they can do about it.

But what if they really do have a 'mad dog' somewhere in power?

Oh boy, these sure are interesting times.

And no I wouldn't like them to sink a Nimitz class ship. Too many dumb animals ((c) Henry Kissinger) would have to die. Too many mums would have to cry. No one deserves that. Then again, they are the fodder. The cannon fodder, the missile fodder. Kissinger makes the policy. The Sailors and Marines of the USA have to live or die by that policy. Right or wrong.

If it's any consolation

and I imagine it's been mentioned, but Talk Talk aren't any better. Something happened a little while back with the buffering business on youtube and it just hasn't been right since. Well, in plain English, it actually does NOT buffer any more.

I have researched it. There seems to be no answer. What has worked for others does not work for me.

And many are just left with it as it is and have given up trying to fix it. It's not broke our end obviously.

I'm running it on all kinds of stuff: VMs, VPNs, Linux, Windows, not really knowing what I am doing, just experimenting, but I can fire up a browser and type in 'youtube.com' into the URI bar. I mean, you would kind of expect it not to run so smoothly on a VM running off a usb stick, but Debian on VBox running with only 3 percent space left on it, works smoother than some other installs I have...

I tell a lie, some videos do buffer. But never the one you really really wanna watch at the time.

I've tried IceWeasel, Midori, FF, Opera, Chromium, even blessed IE - same behaviour or lack of.

Sometimes I just wanna ah zig a zag ah!

iPlayer does tend to buffer better recently on Linux, but it's still hit and miss when you get that boxing compression. I mean, I got a steady 10Mbps now they have upgraded my line, but something is not right somewhere in streaming land. And other streaming services are so hit and miss that very often they don't even work at all. Maybe I'm just unlucky.

What I really love about Adobe Flash

You can sense some sarcasm coming here, can't you?

Ok, I'll indulge.

<sarcasm>

Is the way that even though every time I set it to 'notify me before updating', it always turns it back on to automatic updates behind my back, behind my back. Scotty barks woof woof. And I decline, no please notify me before just going ahead, just in case there is a dodgy update you know, like this one.

Why even have the option there in the first place if they are just going to totally ignore it? Don't they realise how bad this makes them look, bullying people into submission, then again if I didn't have Winpatrol Plus installed I would be none the wiser. I mean, it's not like I run autoruns every time after starting the computer just to see if Adobe Flash has explicitly gone behind my back again, after I explicitly told it not to.

Maybe I should just admit defeat and install google chrome - that, that thing, that has an updater and is always switched on, even though I didn't install it, in fact I uninstalled it twice, google chrome that is, and the updater, I really have just stopped bothering with wasting my time switching it off in autoruns or winpatrol or whatever, even though, at the moment I don't have chrome on my system.

That last sentence/paragraph just about made sense to me, but I'd be surprised if it just about did for you.

Horrid bullies, the pair of them. Flash and Chrome updaters, that is.

</rant>

Then again, it might just be me. I mean, I even get my html tags mixed up some times.

Govenor Hickenlooper ?

Govenor Hickenlooper (sic) ? Ist das richtig?

Govenor Hoopenlicker ist die guten freund of die mister Spooner, ja?

What an unfortunate name, or spelling, or both.

It's all right, I'm half way down ze road following ze blinkenlighten...

Most artists don't get paid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnJa5EmQvX8

It buggers belief

Sorry, meant to say 'beggars'. Better be careful what I type, seeing as crap jokes can get you hard time these days.

I've read a lot of the posts on the slashdot site and there seem to be quite a few people arguing that this WAS NOT sent to annoy or upset. It was on his own page, which some public spirited vigilante took a screenshot of and forwarded on. Does anyone know for sure either way? Lots of conflicting reports.

Still shouldn't expect the Spanish Inquisition though.

Meanwhile, let us not forget the oil executive who accidentally sent 42 pictures of horrific child abuse to his networked office printer, whilst he was at home, by mistake, of course. They were LEVEL FOUR.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Level 4 - Penetrative sexual activity involving a child or children, or both children and adults.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

He just gets a 'get out of jail free' card instead. If I or you got caught doing that, we would be going down. And rightly so. But we are not executives that work for an international oil corporation.

It really does (let me choose my words carefully here and just quickly check that I'm not hooked up to the works printer) beggar belief.

What an outrage!

On 'bad boy' records.

Soon to be signed to 'very naughty boy' records.

=============

In a press statement, MachineGun(Ned)Kelly (no relation to Ned(MachineGun)Kelly) said: "It's not true that I was manhandled out by a five-foot-two female security guard, they had to call the cops. Coz I'm so naughty, Your morals are so haughty, They thought they coulda taught me, Until they tried and faught me (no that's not right - I always get the last bit wrong)...No, in fact they had to call in the army, 200 marines and a secret elite crack S.W.A.T. team...Motherfuckas still couldn't take me down. But by this point I was getting bored and besides it was nearly tea time and Mother always worries about me if I'm not home on time...

================

When 'bad boy' records were contacted and asked if there was any truth to the rumour that MG(N)K was jumping ship, they refused to comment.

However.

So impressed were his fans by his behaviour, a crowd gathered outside his house shouting:"MG(N)K is the Messiah, MG(N)K is the Messia". At which point MG(N)K appeared on the balcony arms outstretched, savouring the moment. That was until his Mother appeared and clipped him round the ear and told him to:"Get back inside and finish your tea".

Everyone knows what she said next.............

Someone posted THAT Albini essay again!

Great stuff.

So I'm going to post THAT "Why you've got no chance of making a living out of music" essay again:

http://www.the-sisters-of-mercy.com/gen/rrr4.htm

They are both getting on a bit - 'the essays', not the writers, but as relevant today as ever.

I was reading a Todd Rundgren interview from earlier in the year and the interviewer asked him what advice do you have for young aspiring artists Todd? And Todd replied:"Two words - You Tube". He honestly believed that bypassing the majors or in fact any label at all was possible by going 'viral'. Now Todd IS a genius. That there is no doubt about. An auto-didactic polymath of the highest order. From multi-instrumentalist to engineer to producer to song writer to video director to animator to computer programmer to mastering engineer. Oh and he is a thoroughly decent human being as well by the sounds of it too. But aside from the statistical nightmare that most aspiring artists would face - before the odds were like being a single guy in a pub trying to hit on a girl - you are outnumbered, but you may not be the pub bore, or you may have money, or a charming smile, terrible rumours spread about your over-sized appendage, etc. etc., so maybe statistically you stood a 'chance in hell'.

So nevermind that statistically now the battle is more akin to being a single sperm trying to fertilise an egg. The odds are rather more stacked against you. And let's not forget we live in the age of mediocrity. If I hear another c**t musician/songwriter sing that f****ing song - I will go apeshit. So let's forget about that...

No Todd really believed what he said - a man at the cutting edge of music for the last few decades in various fields, one of the few peers of those like Zappa etc... hasn't got a frigging clue what he is talking about anymore. You Tube is actively gamed against the little man and original aspiring artist in favour of selling and pushing the mainstream. Do a search on google and see for yourself the campaigns going on. They have actively and willfully chopped down to size any unknown that gets too big for it's boots. But Todd Rundgren is citing Rebecca Black as an example for sweet baby's sake! You Tube!

We are at a crossroads in the music industry. The majors still haven't got it. There is still no mechanism for artists to convert hits into bits of cash. i.e. Andy McKee the virtuoso guitarist - over a 100 Million hits on You Tube - has sold what, just over a hundred thousand records. I'm sure some boffin can work out what that percentage is, but I don't even want to try. He has a nice life, can eat, travel the world, doesn't get mobbed in the supermarket and can play to small crowds of hundreds of people who all want to meet him later and be his friend. I wish I had that level of success.

The problem lies as much with the consumer, they do not want to pay directly to the artists and cut out the middle man. So it's just a slow lingering death of a wounded animal. And the majors as I said still don't get it and won't or can't do the right thing...

I for one would welcome our new Major record company overlords, if they woke up and smelt the coffee, admitted defeat, showed some contrition by trying to do the right thing. It could work for them and for us. The infrastructure is there and there are still a lot of people that want physical cds to put on a bookshelf or a bit of plastic on the turntable. It is one holy clusterf**K of a situation. No wonder Trent went crying back to Mammy after sticking it to the man. I respect him. His decision. He knows what he is doing.

We do indeed live in interesting times. But it's a digital revolution. The cost of recording equipment and computers is at a level anyone dedicated enough can afford (except for those in the Democratic Republic of Congo - but that is another argument). People I knew used to brag: Oh we are going into a studio in the west end and it costs £200 an hour and we are booked in there for six weeks - two months to do our album. I think they were under the impression that the record company were paying for it, but no, it was them. They might not have even realised that the studio was actually owned by the record company as well, or had shares in it or whatever vested interests. Ok, studio equipment was expensive back then, but those studios at those prices payed for themselves many times over. But that shit doesn't work any more, that is why a lot of studios are closing down and it will just get worse, with the big record company studios staying open, herding all the sheep into the same field.

I was reading an article by P.I.L.'s guitarist yesterday and he was saying for the money they paid for the studio, it killed them because they could have each built a studio in their own house for what they paid in bills to make that particular record - but the record company insisted. Our way or the highway.

It is a shame really, because, I may be wrong, but I imagine and don't know what I am talking about here, but I would say that the studios that are going out of business today and will be going out of business tomorrow will be, not the small, specialist boutique studios, such as Steve Albini runs, or the big mixing Record Company behemoths in L.A, but the mid to high end studios that really do work for making great music. As any musician or producer will tell you, you get a spark recording somewhere where a famous artist has recorded. It's a great buzz that adds to that whole vibe for making great music. A lot of them closed down as far as I can tell......... but what do I know, that's just my impression. Please feel free to enlighten me, it won't be the first time I've been wrong about something...

TL;DR. I know ;-)

Recipe for 'VEGETARIAN' bacon sarnie:

First go out and buy some haloumi cheese.

No. I am not taking the P***.

Slice off 4-6 pieces of the haloumi about 5mm thick - enough to cover your bread/bap of choice.

Fry it in your preferred choice of oil.

Extra virgin olive oil is adds too much flavour imho, so I just use Sunflower.

Turn once they start to go brown and harden, so they are fairly equally done on both sides. I find that turning the cooker off once one side is done leaves enough heat to finish the other side nicely. Careful not to over cook and burn them - though some may like their 'bacon' crispy.

Then decant onto your bread source - smother with brown sauce - slice in half - Perfick....

A cup of tea to wash it down with.

Really it does taste like bacon, I've been veggie for about 20 years, and still get the odd call of the wild. Hasn't happened for a year or so now, but, this recipe, texturally and taste wise is pretty close. (Just make sure you smother it in brown sauce). Er.. they may be a clue in that last sentence.

Seriously. Even if you are a carnivore - try it - you might like it!

Take it easy Dick

I'm giving blood for the first time in my life ever in a few weeks.

I'm going to see if I can give half a kidney too.

I mean, you only really need one, really.

So, if you have a half of one left on top, you'd be in win again.

I might have got your message wrong, but it sounds like you might to donate half a kidney too.

Maybe 3/4 of one for a fully anti-scratch proof screen?

INTTP (I'm not taking the piss). IOTS. I am on the spectrum.

Were you observing and just happened to be there, or were you waiting for the fifth coming?

Btw, my kidneys are in a lot better condition than my liver.

Just saying.

Livers go for better prices than kidneys I mean. But a bit drastic of an action just to get a phone, then again, there is prolly someone out there that could be talked into it. Like they weren't talked into it anyway....

Thanks for the 'pointers'

Silly programmers joke. You might not get it ;-)

I fear I am the one that does not get it after all.

But thanks to asdf and Ken Hagan.

Most informative.

That's why my next programming language shall be written in CGI (Non-programmers joke ;-{)

I loved it when I was programming Java. Perl was my next favourite - God I loved Perl - I must be a weirdo.

I have K&R in my garden shed under lock and key (not that I am worried about anyone nicking it - it's more the lawnmowers and spades [Just to clarify: small shovels - I'm not into that human trafficking shit ;-]) I am worried about.

But it's like they don't say: once a failed programmer, always a failed programmer.

Though I have lots of programmer friends members of the CCC and Reversers too...

I was top of my class at school, but bottom at maths... maybe there is a correlation...

Anyway, thanks for the interesting read, that's why I love the REG.

Re: PeerBlock

This is my limited understanding, but seems to be consensus at sites like Wilderssecurity etc...

PeerBlock will stop all the i.p. addys on the list from accessing - that is reading/writing to/from your pc.

But it will not stop any i.p. from SEEING that you are part of a swarm/seeeding/downloading session.

So whilst it does stop against being infected by malware etc, it won't make you invisible. Seeing as most of the stuff PeerBlock blocks is not there to infect your computer anyway, many security experts say that it is next to pointless (though it won't harm).

They will still know your i.p. - they don't want to infect you, they want to put you on their list. This is their list. PeerBlock is not an invisibility cloak.

That is my understanding. Please correct me if I am wrong.

They found a trail 0s and 1s leading back to his hideout...

The evidence was incontrovertible - a deep pit of Celine Dion Cds was found also containing a couple of bones, but those were later to be found of the workers used to dig the pit and listen to her music at the time. Their paymasters believing it might entertain them or pass the time more quickly - it had quite the opposite affect. It wasn't more shock they died of, just the disbelief that not only would people pay for this stuff, but actually nick it for free...

"We've got him bang to rights! He's not getting out of this one. Not this time". Said the arresting officer. Asked whether he himself was a Celine Dion fan, he replied: "Who?".

They got a lot of THINGS ON THEIR MIND;

Liberation for women is what I preach, Preacher Man:

================================================

Strolling along minding my own buisness

Well there goes a girl and a half

She's got me going up and down

She's got me going up and down

Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

Well I got the notion girl that you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours

Spread it all over my peelin' skin baby

That feels real good

All this skirt lappin' up the sun

Lap me up

Why don't you come on and

Lap me up

Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

Well there goes another one just lying down on the sand dunes

I'd better go take a swim and see if I can cool down a little bit

'Cause you and me woman

We got a lotta things on our minds (you know what I mean)

Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

Will you just take a look over there (where?) there

Is she tryin' to get outta that clitares?

Liberation for women

Thats what I preach

Preacher man

Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

Oh shit

There goes the charabang

Looks like im gonna be stuck here the whole summer

Well what a bummer

I can think of a lot worse places to be

Like down in the streets

Or down in the sewer

Or even on the end of a skewer

==================================================

Fuck yeah. Let Women run the world.

I mean, they couldn't fuck it up worse than the men have can they?

And if they were worse sex cases. Shit, think of all the fun we would have.

Sometimes I just think I should keep my own mouth shut, preacher man.

Er no, I am not being erotic ( I mean Ironic)...

Sorry, I got a lot of things on my mind!

;-)

The war being fought in Africa now

Is a bigger war than that even for OIL.GAS....

These are precious minerals. In many ways they are harder to get out of the ground.

They need more finesse. They need a human mind to process. Think of gold-panning in the days of old.

Good ol' Congo. Good ol' Belgium. Good ol' King Leopold.

Where hacked off hands actually became currency. That's right. As good as a dollar or two.

The rubber from the trees would stick to their skin and pull all their hair off, but it was better than having hands hacked off. Then they move the trade to south america.

But no, let's stick with Central Africa for the moment. Stanley Falls. Kisengani. Joseph Conrad. Heart of darkness. Dennis Hopper. Marlon Brando. Apocalypse now.

Wtf did you think Marlon Brando (Colonel Kurtz) was talking about when he talked about the diamond bullet between the eyes. It was the piles of hacked of arms/hands. It was currency. They could not make their slaves make their quota of latex for the day, then they better make sure they make their quota of punishment for not doing so - hands/ arms..

It was like a diamond bullet between the eyes. Lots of people think that film was set in Vietnam. And it had massive parallels as such. But it was Heart of Darkness that bore the true tale.

The world was moving from the 19th to the 20th Century - they needed RUBBER, RUBBER, RUBBER. And not for even anything kinky - that would come much later. They needed it for automobile tires. For Henry Ford.

For the forwarding of the industrial revolution. They needed slaves. Good old fashioned Niggers. The same kind of Niggers that would plant and pick the cotton, that would plant and pick and process the sugar cane.

It's all in history's books. I talk nothing new.. Call me out if I am wrong on anything less than a detail I dare you.

And now we have a new war. Why do you think the Chinese are in Africa? Altruism? Beneficence?

They are playing catch up to the US/UK/. They might have even learned lessons and left it alone, but like Vic and Bob, they just would not let it lie. How could they. The game is afoot. It's a dirty little war, that won't even be settled by the big bombs the big boys are about to set off.

Welcome to the 21st Century. You had it so good for so long. You think the loss of your pension is your biggest quarrel?

All the best.

Does the name of the missile have the name of..

DONG.... somewhere in the title.

Never let it be said that those Chinese types never had penis envy too.

I rue the day when Central Africa gets a projectile.

Wtf, will we call it then?

Let me get back to you on that.

I shall call up some of my young blond girly friends.

They seem to know more about this area than I.

(And if you think I am joking or being ironic, I can assure you, in no way, am I being as such).

It was a joke I suppose.

One of those things we used to have in the 20th Century, but not only fell out of fashion in the 21st Century, but also became illegal.

Don't worry it's just a recursive error.

They just ripped up some cables when they were laying some new ones.

See recursion.

http://www.outpost9.com/reference/jargon/jargon_33.html

Submarine Commander:

Yes, sorry 'bout that. Slight tits up. Ripped up some cables when laying some new ones. Shame really.

Should be ok by morning. Yes, yes, yes, we shall relay all the old cables being ripped up. Unless we rip up any of the new ones... when we are relaying the old ones. If you follow me, sir...Or fail to lay any of the new ones whilst replacing the old ones. Could get a bit sticky sir.

Sorry!

Anyway, send us a line, if you can get through sir. Yes, yes, old cable's as good as new cable....

(mutters under breath) if you can find any fucking cable left by the time we have finished (/muttering).

At least they didn't have the problem the HMS Banana had. I heard they went six times around the world before they finally run out of fuel.

See: banana problem /n./

See:http://www.outpost9.com/reference/jargon/jargon_17.html

Talk about redundancy.

Just re-enabled Java on a friend's machine

Apparently the only thing they wanted it for was for an on-line Chess game.

I warned them. But would they listen? I also had to re-enable NotScripts and Ghostery because they were 'messing up the way the machine is supposed to work'.

It's all good, because now I get to say "I did tell you so" next time they call me up to fix their computer.

These are people that point-blank REFUSE TO LEARN HOW TO JUST QUICKLY DISABLE/ENABLE A PLUGIN.

Sorry for the shouting, nearly got hot under the collar there. ;-)

I understand how NotScripts cripples half the web, but for deity's sake at least use it on the half you can. Same with Java. In fact. I personally have it turned off ALL THE TIME and only re-enable maybe once a month on my web travels.

It's funny, coz when I was first learning JAVA, ooh, over 10 years ago now it would have been, people were saying: This thing is going to be a MASSIVE security risk. Same thing with Active-X. Few had the foresight to see the monster that FLASH would become though. I remember playing with the thing when it was called Future-Splash, and telling people this is the future of the web. Did anyone listen? No. They just said: There is nice dear.

Oh well, I was right about one or two things, but am probably one of the few failed programmers on this site.

Still, no great loss, apart from the few successful JAVA and whatnot programmers that work for Deutsche Bank and earned £60K a year, most I know are treading water. Still, what is £60K a year anyway.

Alright it's more than my dole, but you know... That was a couple of years ago now, maybe things have changed.........

</rant over>

<new rant begins>

I'm just waiting by my phone - it is inches away from my leg - no obstructions. I shall answer with: "Yes it is I."

"Who speaks? Really? Never!"

My insouciance shall be invisible. Though I bear no great malice, sometimes a quick "I told you so", is worth oh so much more than the £20 I will get for fixing their machine. Bring it on. I shall wait for that sweet-spot moment when the cash hits the claw, then look them in the eye, with an almost undetectable sideways glance - the way a Lion might eye up a Zebra in the Serengeti for example - then, in a James Bond manner, ever so coolly say, TOLD YOU SO, TOLD YOU SO! ARGH ARGH ARGH, TOLD YOU SO!, jumping up and down for good effect and also flapping my arms wildly in the air like a poor earth bound bird that hasn't flown for hundreds of thousands of years, but still tries anyway, just out of pure instinct. Think Emu, think Dodo - no that's not right. Anyway. You get the picture.

Of course at this point I shall be off for the treatment I so rightly deserve. All because some bastard wrote a JAVA exploit. And some other bastard refused how to learn how to use the on/off switch under 'preferences'.

Still. These are the good days... Wait until things really get out of control....

Fly on wall with head mounted video camera:

Rubs fingers (tentacles, wtf?) together. Regurgitates a bit. Has a slap up off that old faceburger it licked off two hours earlier.

Roll:

----------------------------

Mr. Zuckerberg mounts stage. Blah blah blah. Bitches. Blah blah blah. Bitches. Blah. Suckers. Blah. One. Blah. Born. Blah blah blah.

So you see. Responsible is good. The responsible pay their bills. When we fleece them, ahem, I mean sell them this service that they really really want, they will zig a zag zoom pay their fucking debts. Whoops. Been working a bit too hard lately. I'm alright really. Bitches. Er, I mean fellow chumps. I mean chums.

This works on a two fold basis, first, the suckers, er I mean users, just pay the freakin' bill, second we don't have to send the boys round to shatter kneecaps. This saves a small fortune I can tell you. Legbreakers ain't cheap these days. Ok, maybe the wife is not as understanding as she might be when they cart out the new three piece suite. But that is a marital problem. And you know what? There is a new service coming up for that. Our Users trust us (dumb bitches). And the more they trust us the more we are willing to give them what they want. A jolly good shafting, er I mean new service. FaceTrust, for all your marriage guidance needs.

Had that three piece suite carted of by the big boys? Running up horrendous gambling debts? Don't know who to trust any more? Call this number (premium rate) FaceTrust. The face you can trust...

---------------------------

Fly regurgitates his faceburger once more. This time it is not to feed his children. Notices a certain demographic in audience doing same. Flys down to mr Zuck-Oh-Shuck-Was-That -Me's shoulder. Cleans up. No one notices.

Can I be the last to say?

Hooray!

I'd love to go there for hols. Not much atmosphere. True. But have you been to Skegness this time of year?

It just seems so, I don't know, quiet?

Yes that's it. Quiet. Me and the missus (don't have one, but indulge me here): 'Not too many of those German types about dear? ' 'No dear, very QUIET.'.

What more could a man ask for. I am envious of a lump of metal with rubber wheels.

Seriously. So many fuck ups, so they thought 'Fuck it' - let's go to town. If we are going to fail. Let us fail superbly. And they did not fail. They succeeded superbly.

Don't have a hat. But if I did, it would be in my right hand, my face looking at my knees, hunched over, muttering something like: <Lt. George of Blackadder III> Bally well done! Hurrah!</Lt. George of Blackadder III>

This world is so fucked up, but if mankind (a few scientists from NASA) can achieve something like this, maybe there might be hope.

Off note but humorous none the less.

I can't remember the article now, but it was saying:

People who spend too long on the internet suffer from a lack of real life friendships and may actually end up being socially isolated.

This was flagged to fuck. Citations needed left right and centre. About twenty of them pounced on this one statement. If it was a troll, it was a top one. I suppose they did not see the irony let alone the sadness in their actions.

...Can not make outrageous statements like this - please backup.... no proof of claim... eh eh.....

Wikipedia is great for finding out whatever happened to that lead singer of that 80's band, yes Tony Hadley, I am looking at you, but I wouldn't trust it with the facts, ma'am.

Funny bunch. Wonder if they get a go on Jimbo's yacht.

@Annihilator - Trundling yet?

It's just having a quiet smoke. Feeling pretty pleased with itself. Having a bit of a nap.

And WAHEY!

I reckon it's gonna be a right little goer!

I'm politically against things like this because there are people starving in the world and the money could be so much better spent elsewhere. Then again, I am a right boring bastard with no friends. So maybe watching it trundling around might be quite good entertainment after all.

Never let it be said I did not embrace hypocrisy with both mandibles. Shit I think I got my posts mixed up....

Sounds like a resounding success to me...

Job jobbed.

Fat bastard put in place. The Kiwis might have the All-Blacks, but at least they know who 'runs' their government now. And so do we...

He will bounce back, I have no doubt. Would be hard not to.

Cnut the Great

I sometimes wonder if we are not just trying to hold back a rising tide.

You and me are ok, we have the chops and take the time to do the necessary.

The average user? Not so much.

It is a war. On the whole they are winning. They will keep winning that much more as time goes by.

Even though much more powerful anti-scripting and anti-tracking tools come out, their government sanctioned 'loop holes' built into the next version of their browser or plug-in or whatever, will get the best of most people most the time. Anyone here have Java disabled? Are you sure it really is? On all your browsers?

Ah the Golden age of computing, full of so much Eastern Promise. Now we just have the digital imprimatur:

http://www.fourmilab.ch/documents/digital-imprimatur/

Forgive me if I am off thread. I do ramble. I know. Even in my own head.

I love it when

You speak of thee.

From thine mouth

Such Poetry...

eh Camilla Smythe

I drink too much.

But I think you are drinking a bit more.

Please delete your post or face embarrassment in the morning.

At least turn the caps off. I am not deaf and I have seen previous posts of yours. You are not an unintelligent person.

Please do the right thing. The Webley is in the mess room. In the cabinet. You know what you need to do, old boy. Please god, do not let your children see that post in the morning. It will frighten them.

Btw, do you work for British Gas? Never mind. Doesn't matter. Just delete that post, eh, old chap?

I believe others far more advanced in topics like this have already commented..

..So I will just add:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRNYqsMIbg0

The Lunatics (have taken over the Asylum)

Ah ahhh.

Game over I'm afraid..

The genie is out of the lamp. There is the ideal world and then there is the way things are. I am an idealist still, in the face of this, but I don't pretend even to myself, that my higher aspirations for myself, and humanity as a whole, will have any *real* impact.

Okay, not sure I can add anything to the argument that someone hasn't already thought/wrote.

So, a little bit about me, for those bored or interested. Who knows? It may give a perspective to someone.

<portait of the artist as an old man>

I've been reading the reg for a few years now, decided to become a commentard about a year or so's (sic[hick]) ago. I know I'm not the only 'musician type' here. Many far more advanced than I, both career and talent wise by the sounds of it.

I write international, best selling no.1s. As with most true songwriters I can write in a variety of genres. Pop/hip-hop/soul/dance would be the bag of the no.1s. They don't fall into any recognizable genre, but appeal broadly to lovers of these types of music, across the genres. Er, I don't want to give the impression that I have ever sold a record. Maybe in a past life I had some kind of 'success', but in my world now, I am a pure unadulterated failure. A sad case. In fact, a sad bastard, on the whole.

My problem? I'm glad you asked...

<reclining on couch>

Now, let me see, it all started.......

</reclining on couch>

Actually, no decompiling or disassembly is needed, it is quite simple: You just can't get the staff these days.

That goes for above as below.

First, below:

I need girls. I need young girls (25 is past it). I need young girls that are willing to be groomed. They may have the looks, they may have the voice, they may have the determination, they may have the persistence. But rarely do they have the 'attitude' (I'm not talking about chewing gum and being cheeky here - that is quite common). This is where the grooming is necessary. I realise the negative connotations of this word in common everyday vernacular and parlance, but for some reason, they still 'groom' horses, don't they? It is that sort of grooming. Taking what seems to be a bloody good thoroughbred (nature or nurture don't matter here), and putting in the necessary resources to bring about their actuation according to the hierarchy of needs. Boyfriends can be a headfuck. Try telling a 21 year old hormonal girl that maybe it is not such a great idea, at the moment, and you will be accused of being manipulative, of having hidden agendas, etc. etc. And that is just by her Mother, Dad just punches you in the face. Actually, I am exaggerating slightly now, but not by much. Getting the picture?

As for above:

Well, generally I subscribe to the Groucho Marx school of: any club that would have me as a member....

But, I make an exception here. I've had major deals. I've had a record in the top 20. I've been seen on telly. Ooohh aren't you impressed? Not much I would wager. Anyway, as I said, that was a past life. I don't play that way no more. The problem is I tend to hate music. It is shit these days, and most people I talk to seem to agree. Don't get me wrong I still discover new artists like Bluetech and the such, so I'm cool daddio, but they swim in a sea of shit. And don't it show. Hip-hop ain't what it used to be. Before these gangster rappers (and what's worse - wannabee gangster rappers - omg) took over, Hip-hop used to be called RAP - an offshoot of disco. They 'rapped' about dis and dat, pretty much in the vein of a wordsmith, parallel to what you might find in a 'real' programmer... But I digress...

Above. Above for me is the business. The reason I spilled my guts about my previous life is to show that I have been there to a very very small extent. Yes they were fat. Yes they were jewish. Yest they smoked cigars. I miss them. R.I.P. David Walker. They don't make 'em like that anymore. No, we now have the Simon fucking Cowherd generation. How long oh lord, how long? You get me? Like? Whatever.

Everyone I meet is out for a fast buck, trying to live a dream that isn't real. I'm a producer. I meet other producers and I cringe. You mean you do beats in fruity loops? (not knocking fruity loops - I have their top of the range signature bundle and a few synth, fx plugins - and yes, I paid for it!) But still....

I might live in a parallel world, but all the best music makers happen to be plumbers or horse-traders, or on the dole. They have no interest in 'making it' in the current music biz. To be honest, I have given up myself. I push the boundaries and am trying to invent new genres of music (like the grey-haired-balding and eccentric mad professor type I am). I'll give you a tip. ASMR is where it is at these days. I've said too much already. Yeah, actually I have. This has turned into a rant (again).

If all goes well, I should have a new website set up that is beautiful, secure and a joy to use. From there you will get EVERYTHING free. You were going to steal it anyway fucktard, so I have no recourse but to appeal to your inner guilt, or god forbid, altruism. You will be able to buy stuff and you will get <frankie howerd> a bit of an extra on top. Yes you will...! ooOHHh! </frankie howerd> Do we play live? Can I book your band of merry bitches. Er no, bit difficult, still a pipe dream in the old gulliver, like. We will do T-Shirts. We will do high end fashion design made by up and coming designers that already have their boutiques in Bond St. and concessions at Harrods. No, we don't do private parties. We are not the fucking black eyed peas and you are not roman fucking abitofabitch, are you?. You can't afford it baby. But everyone has their price.

I'd settle for a nice sandwich.

<thick bog-trotting accent>

Oooh mah pertaitoze 'av boiled.

</thich bog-trotting accent>

I think it's time to go now.

I shut up now.

Thanks for listening.

</portait of the artist as an old man>