Posts by Boris the Cockroach

A spokesman

for Oracle said

"At the current rate of expenditure increase due changes in requirements, Oracle are looking forwards to 2029 when they will have captured West Sussex's entire budget"

When the bullshit bingo

starts while meeting a customer, my boss always grabs my arm and says "not now Boris... not now " as the urge the strangle the jibberish speaker rises up inside me like last night's donor kebab.....

However , once the contract is signed.....................

I see a market

opening here.

Over the course of many years of fiddling about with various flavour of linux, (mostly Fedora, Mint, and CentOS) I've burned a fair few DVDs with whatever linux I was playing with, DVDs I can boot from and have have everything on them ready to go, AND.... they dont have age checks on them.

$10 per disc + shipping...... (just to cover my costs of course)

Lucky

it was just coffee over the keys at the last bit of chicken there

Gawd knows what would come out if I ate chicken al la fridge motor,

FOOD ESCAPE FOOD ESCAPE!

And whats the

betting the 'people's panel of 120 people drawn at random' will all be either home office civil servants or their wives, or most likely.... 100 guardian readers from Islington.

I have an old smart phone.... so no installing 'digital' IDs on that

The power went

out where I was working as an apprentice, it was strange because the 3 of us working there became deaf too at the exact same time we threw a power switch and all the lights went out

Plus the big electrolytic capacitor vanished at the same time , it was a perplexing mystery to all present.

Apart from our instructor who learned the value of not leaving a room with 3 17 yr old apprentices , a power supply and a big fat electrolytic in it.

Oh no !

So anyway..........

Coming soon

microslop's new AI tool... makes 10 times the mistakes a regular AI tool will make.

My question is

why?

Why bother doing 3 years of a programming degree when AI is taking all the jobs anyway, and companies likel microslop* are cutting entry level jobs in order to save money(and then splurge it on AI)

Whats the point of years of student loan debt you'll never pay back on your min wage job cleaning toilets** while never using the stuff you were trained with?

Then you get companies complaining that theres no skilled workers out there........... well you wont help train the entry level folks so duuuurhh

Best advice I have for school leavers, get into grave digging/undertakers, or accountancy*** or tax inspector.

*microslop...... I like it,and it kinda fits

**nowt wrong with cleaning toilets tbh... just wish some people learned to flush.. jeez

*** oh our accountant said there AI coming for his job too... so thats out

It just

works.

It does'nt get in the way, it does'nt spam ads everywhere, or change the look/feel of your personalised setup on an update, nor reset all the options you've turned off back on.

It. Just. Works.

And my only wish is that the CAD/CAM package we use had a native linux client. and I'd wipe all the work laptops of windows and replace it with mint.

Oh and before the 'too hard to install' people get here. insert USB, wait for it to boot, go install to HDD and go have some coffee.

32 metres a minute

is not the speed to have an 'oh no' second

Because thats the speed our machines go, which means about 400-500mm per second, so pressing the button (or enter) and the human reaction time for the oh no second is... well a second, followed by the 0.25 of second that the motor pathways to your arm muscles are fired before your body starts moving, followed by that long drawn out 0.5 of a second before your bash the e.stop and everything comes to a halt, then you find out your expensive machinery died about a second ago when the turret slammed into a rotating plate doing 6000 rpm and is now very firmly welded to it.

On the bright side, you'll have some stories to tell, as will the machinery techs who prise the remains apart.

On the bad side , your first appointment at the job center is 9am, the bus is late and its raining.

If m$ made cars....

It would be fairly boring, A wheel on each corner, buyer can pick a number of engines, all the usual controls. and you'll learn to drive it quite well.

Then it does an update, and the steering wheel swaps sides, the pedals control the indicators and the throttle and brakes and gear shift have been combined into 1 stick control mounted on the dashboard.

Now....... having got used to the new arrangement, your car has now done 98 000 miles and you replace it with the new m$ car.

Which has the steering wheel in the backseat now with adverts where the horn was. the pedals however are back to normal, but in the front where they've always been......

And then updates to the steering wheel being on the offside front wing to which m$ says sorry and promises to move it back on the next update...........

And then you buy apple...... which looks fantastic, goes average and stops when Apple sues every other car maker on the planet for having rounded corners........

Then you notice that an awful lot of behind the scenes cars and trucks that need reliability are all linux based.

I have

a cunning plan to solve the skills shortage.

You hire people... and then........... you train people.......

Dont look at me as if 1/2 a scots pine has just sprouted from my left ear

i feel its like

this

1. build huge DCs running AI

2. ?????????

3. profit

of course when 3 doesnt happen and all these companies are on the hook for the huge amount of cash splurged on data centers and they look like they are going down, then the whining "too big to fail" starts, and magically, the costs of the overpriced DC build outs suddenly becomes the taxpayer's problem....

Yay finally

m$ have seen the light and appointed an engineering quality manager at senior level.

Now all they need is an actual quality assurance department to go with the manager..................

Its a pity

we cant charge m$ for delivering a shite service.

Lets total up, 4 admins, 1/2 a day to prepare for an update to the companies fleet of PCs , lets charge say £120/hr for 4hrs times 4 admins, and then present that bill to m$

And of course I'm forgetting something, we have fairly specialised software running on our PCs which means the vendors have to prove that the software will still work after the update.

So thats their time too.

And then times it by however many companies world wide have to go through this every time an update is issued.

But give m$ their due, they keep a hell of a lot of people in a job. even if they dont actually work for m$

Very grin worthy

at the end of another shite week (god I hate our customers.... and least the boss had the foresight to warn said customer "Dont ever ask him a question... he's way smarter than he pretends to be" as I'm struggling to breathe with this wretched tie on)

And the ending was rather surprising... and less violent than I expected too....

Management breakthrough = this ones going out of a closed window.............

I've been through

redundacy 3 times.

First time the axe missed, our section made an eye watering amount of money and they were'nt going to let us go although that didnt stop the manglement from trying to screw us over, 30% of the workforce got the boot..... 6 weeks after that they realised they'd sacked a few too many......

Second time I got axed, along with some other temps (been there less than 2 yrs), had some money so survived and moved on to another job.

And then that company imploded 6 months later.

hello poverty (although not the poverty the US enjoys).

Its not nice when it happens and its very definetly not your fault, all you can do is sweat at some min wage craphole for a basic wage while aiming to start again.

Any new

laptops here are locked down hard.

And although the shop floor wi-fi has its password, the office network/internet access is on a different system and has its own password ever since the 'night shift incident'

then they enquired about tethering their phones to the laptops.............. NOPE !

icon.. for what some of them need

AI can help

really?

Really really?

Exactly how can it help us when one set of widgets is complete and we need to reset for another.

Which means... change of the robots gripper for a new one(its a old one but you get the idea)

Next move the upper turret down, and extract 10 tools before replacing them with the ones for the next job. only automated thing about it is the program that measures tooling before use.

Check lower turret tooling (these are common ones to all jobs)

removal and replacement of jaws and spindle liner tube.

Now you're ready to make a new widget... how the hell does AI help here? anyone?

I can see it helping out in the office... maybe.... but out in the real world.... not so much. its an illusion sold to the guilible before its ready..... and sponsered by the desperate not to miss out crowd

Testing

never heard of it

Or

Is'nt that what the users are for?

Or

We fired the QA deptment to pay for the bonuses

Come on..... its a mature product. but then I'm waiting for day 0 of patches. when the OS crashes so hard it never rises again and 1 billion PCs are bricked

One of our

laptops died of compressed air.

The thing got hot and the numpty saw that the CPU fan wasn't running (yeah we know where this is going), so numpty got the airline... and used it on the fan to get it spinning

We think it structually failed at 25 000 rpm. although numpty said it was still accelerating..........

Oh and open the case to get rid of metal chips that had gone in the back..... airline for that too and another one bites the dust.

I've got quite expert at taking the HDD out and recovering the data

Just dont install

them in SAC-NORAD.... we know what happens then.