[*for UK readers, please substitute "trousers" for "pants" throughout. Or just giggle, I don't care.]
1. Drawing your pants legs back from someone in disgust as you pass them is insufficiently scornful.
2. Studies have shown that wearing skirts is 90% effective in preventing VPL (visible panty line).
3. Ditto for "plumber's butt," "whale tail," and "camel toe."
4. Ruffles on a skirt can be over-the-top glamorous. Ruffles on pants are only acceptable if your name is Mary, and a little lamb follows you everywhere you go.
5. It is impossible to smuggle someone in — or out — of prison, a masked ball, a hotel room, etc. by hiding them under your pants. (Plus, there is no such thing as "hooppants."
6. When you strap a gun to your thigh in pants, you lose the element of surprise.
7. You don't have to have skirts hemmed differently for flats or heels.
8. Twirling in a pair of pants results in 87% less happiness.
9. The word "skirt" has both a singular and a plural form, usable by all ("I am wearing a skirt today." "Instantly Mrs. Bagnet put some pins into her mouth, and began pinning up her skirts all round, a little higher than the level of her grey cloak.") The word "pants" has a singular than can only be used by fashion-industry people ("Designers are showing a high-waisted, wide-legged pant for fall").
10. Skirt blowing up, revealing underthings? Sexy. Pants falling down, revealing underthings? Humiliating.
[Pattern from MOMSPatterns.]
A Dress A Day 
Pants add nothing to the swing and swish of a woman’s walk. They neither increase the interest for the viewer nor give the wearer that lovely, sensuous feeling from the swirl of fabric around the legs.Pants reveal the lumps, bumps, and bulges that skirts skim over gracefully.In a skirt of any reasonable fullness you can hitch the hem up above your knee in a genteel way in order to step up on a bench, wall, rock, stump, etc. to get a better view or to escape something noxious. Tight jeans keep you grounded lest the back split.A skirt drapes gracefully over your lap when you sit. Pants hems ride up so that the tops of your knee-high stockings show.You can’t shake out your jeans as a sign of commitment and determination before striding into action.Shy or unhappy toddlers find no comfort in the empty, fabric-free space between your knees when you wear pants.Pants don’t allow you to discreetly and flirtaciously lift your hem a little too high to give your husband a private viewing as you climb into the passenger seat of his SUV.:D
LikeLike
BRAVA, ERIN!!!Yes, skirts are far superior (although of course, ladies, I do like pants, too). And as I keep trying to explain, they are far cooler in hot humid summers than are shorts. Skirts shade your legs from the sun, while still allowing air to circulate. They are infinitely feminine, infinitely elegant, especially longer ones (though I do love me a pencil skirt!).Little hunting creek, I second you on Richard Shindell! Love him, and especially love that song. He’s a great artist. Do you know his version of Springsteen’s “Sandy” (aka “4th of July Asbury Park”)? Makes me cry every time.
LikeLike
Perhaps we should also have a Wear A Skirt Day which seems like for many of us, would be just an average day. This is very funny! Very funny.
LikeLike
Erin, I was telling someone about dressaday.com yesterday and had to go check it out. I love today’s posting, as did my fashion model 21 year old daughter. I love your sense of humor.
LikeLike
Awesome! I agree with all of the comments including giving your husband a peak (except I have a 4×4 Suburban that has high running boards.Skirts also let you wear cute thigh-high stockings in fish net from Victoria’s Secret 🙂
LikeLike
I agree about skirts, but polluting uber-SUVs are anything but sexy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beth–a faced hem is probably easiest, plus it gives you the option to use a fabulous contrast which will show some of the time.I hate to admit it, but I wear knee-high stockings with my skirts when it’s not too hot for them. I cringe a bit because of the little-old-lady association, but if my skirt is long enough–most are–I manage to conceal that they go only to my knees. If anyone sees what they are, they’re being rude. I LOVE twirling in a full skirt!
LikeLike
P.S. just did the scroll thing and have to say that I have the fabric to make trousers in two reverse black and white prints with one leg with the white background and the other with the black background. I think this will be fun, and a jest, or sorts. Wouldn’t do it, though, if I thought I’d look like a JESTER. The print is an inch + stylized floral. I’ll send you a picture when I get around to making them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
*dies laughing at “whale tail”*Hey, I learned a new word today! Genius, but #10 is still my favorite. Point well made. I actually really do love skirts and dresses lately, but I have a penchant for sitting very unladylike, which makes pants the smarter option when not wanting to give a peek at the honey pot. ;D In summer especially, though, I’m all over a skirt… and I’ve been warming up to skirts in winter with thick tights.
LikeLike
This is an amazing list, thanks for sharing it!Alana
LikeLike
Too funny!But I think ruffles on pants are gorgeous. Especially when they start above the knee and have multiple tiers that blossom out larger the farther down they are, like a tiered and gathered skirt but for each leg. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have a pair of pants like that!I have envisioned these, but saw them manifested only once on a woman on College Street in Toronto a few weeks ago. I couldn’t figure out how to jump off my moving streetcar so I could run shrieking over to ask her where she’d got them, so the opportunity was lost.
LikeLike
LOLOL why can I picture someone doing this hysterically xD
LikeLike
And I’d like to add, on skirts’ behalf, that if you’re really in dire straights, when you finally make it to a washroom you could wet yourself while fumbling desperately to undo your pants, whereas skirts prevent such accidents from taking place.On a similar universally practical note, I’d also like to add that sufficiently large and long skirts will poof out beautifully around one while one squats, letting go the water while pretending to study a wildflower or sand dollar, and they will keep anyone else on the beach or in the meadow from knowing what one is really doing. Pants won’t do that.
LikeLike
This list is fantastic. In fact. I think I’ll make myself a skirt tomorrow!
LikeLike
I wear opaque tights summer and winter with my skirts, which nicely takes care of that “whitewhitewhite skin/dark hair” issue on my legs. Since I don’t wear control-top tights, they’re not uncomfortable, and they keep my thighs from chafing in the summer [and winter, come to think of it]. You can wear the first skirt you make, and very often no one will ever know it’s your first – but it’s not usually true with your first pair of trousers! Plus it’s much easier to update a skirt than a pair of trousers – raise the hem, lower the hem, add a flounce, enlarge the waist, take it in – most trousers reveal your adjustment attempts to the world!
LikeLike
My daughter chooses her skirts and dresses based upon the twirl factor. She won’t wear them if they don’t billow like a Disney Princess gown when she spins in a circle.
LikeLike
No one ever checks out your legs when you’re in pants!This list is depressing me. I had a dress all ready to wear this morning, but at the last minute checked the weather and realized that it would be too warm. I grabbed pants for the first time in weeks because all my skirts need to be pressed. I feel so un-me today.
LikeLike
Great list! I always wear skirts, and I’m a man. Pants are not conducive to having dangly bits. Skirts are the clothing of warriors, and still worn by men in 3/4 of the world. It was only 300 years ago that the men of western culture began to deviate from them as the norm.
LikeLike
I Stumbled on this today – LOVE it! And it made me smile today. So many good reasons for skirts.
LikeLike
BTW, at the local Irish fest there were not just a few men in “skirts’ or kilts and I have to say, they were very sexy. Much better than the hanging bottom blue jeans on the more robust men and they look very hot with black combat boots. Men are lucky they don’t have to worry about hair on their legs, it only adds to the look. Somw of the fellows I saw, wore t-shirts with them. They did not have pockets but some just hooked their wallet to their belt with a chain.
LikeLike
i loved this :-)! had me giggling the whole way through. If any of you guys are interested in handmade customised or precut vintage inspired dresses check out my ebay store – http://stores.ebay.co.uk/nellys_vintage_attic or! http://www.nellysvintageattic.comhave fun 🙂
LikeLike
Found from Stumbleupon – very cute!Long live the skirt!
LikeLike
Um, speaking as a member of the mostly non-skirt-wearing sex, this is all very well, but Amanda made the obvious point… things are more accessible and faster. Just thinking about the possibilities, even unconsciously, keeps the male eye engaged.”Getting into her pants” doesn’t get you very far at all… you’ve still got to get them off her. But getting under her skirt? Now we’re making progress and most of the way home.She may not be any more available but the possibility that she might be is about all the average guy needs to pay more attention in every way.(via stumbleupon)
LikeLike
That’s a great list for skirts, what skirts can do for you, the pants are unable to fulfill. Thank you.
LikeLike
I love skirts over pants as they are my comfortable.I try never to wear pants to work.I too wear longer skirts and knee highs,and have been told by co-workers that they can see the tops of my knee highs when I’m sitting or cross legged.I have also worn them with slit skirts at times,and were showing,but didn’t know.I don’t want to feel like an old lady,but dislike like pantyhose.
LikeLike
I too hate pantyhose,butlike wearing skirts.When I wear shorter skirt In the cooler weather,I wear colored trouser knee high.They look much nicer than sheer granny style hose.
LikeLike
Plus, when it’s raining, trousers tend to soak up the water, making you colder and wetter. Skirts don’t do that:)
LikeLike
Love to wear skirts,but don’t like bare legs.I will wear tights,but not cold enough yet.I may try the knee highs,in darker shades.I don’t care if they show!Pants are a pain!
LikeLike
#6 is my all time favorite. Straight Lara Croft style.
LikeLike
I enjoyed this list a lot. My girls definitely have an easier time going to the bathroom without dealing with the zippers. I think that skirts/dresses also empower us as women. It adds to our femininity. I hope I spelled that right. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
HAHA! Excellent list. I think my fav is retaining the element of surprise when you need to strap a gun to your thigh. Really shows how versatile skirts are 🙂
LikeLike
heheh I just love this! I even have that pattern in an old chest back home in Ireland! love love love it hahah
LikeLike
Is it ok for men to comment?I love skirts and wear them in place of pants or shorts. In no way am I a girly guy, I just love the way skirts wear.
LikeLike
This list and listing of comments was a hoot! Very fun to hear others musing on thoughts i have had about clothing, who knew? Anyway, my contribution is that i love both pants and skirts…I’d wear skirts even more but find it hard to stay safe and modest as i am a chronic house remodeler and reorganizer and you can’t safely climb a ladder in a skirt (at least the lengths i wear) as you step on the hem, and many positions, including being on the ladder are immodest in skirts, though i am aware i can wear shorts or leggings underneath…but then it can get too hot or too bulky….just another perspective…Cheers!MeredithPS I’d be VERY interested in seeing these American men who posted saying they were straight yet wore skirts…i can’t picture it and have never seen it! 🙂
LikeLike
i like wearing skirts occasionally, but mostly i prefer pants because it’s very comfortable.
LikeLike
ya back in the history men did wear skirts actually. in the roman times and the scottish guy and theyre kilts…but today I like maken skirts that most when I design.I have a project that calls for the bodice to woren as a skirt, and it is very challanging.what should i do?
LikeLike
As a senior in high school I decided pants were uncomfortable and boring. Its been three years and I havent worn a single pant since.
LikeLike
Ten reasons why I am glad women are allowed to wear pants everyday… OR, ten reasons why pants are better than skirts (for the more adversarial).1. No need to concern yourself while brushing by people on the train or bus, or getting out of a car… Im pretty sure your pants arent stuck/caught on anything.2. Studies have shown that leaving a restroom with your underwear showing is 99% less likely when wearing pants.3. Which would you prefer, getting reminded to zip your fly, or being told your skirt is stuck in your undies?4. Pants make your legs look longer… and unlike a mini skirt and stilettos, you can still look distinguished.5. It is impossible to modestly go up open stair cases, get into the middle of a picnic bench, or do a cartwheel in a skirt.6. No need for a spray on tan, frequent shaving, or heels (to lengthen your legs).7. You dont have to get pants tailored to hit you in the right place proportionally (e.g. at the knee)–just choose flats or heels to fit, or petite, regular, or tall length. 8. Twirling in a pair of pants results is 87% less likely to cause you to lose your dignity via underwear exposure. 9. Women can wear pants; they cover you, look amazing without being too girly, and Women CAN WEAR PANTS now (unlike in my mothers youth), appreciate it. Think of what you can do with the brain power that is not focused on reassuring yourself your undies are covered.10. Skirt blowing up, revealing underthings? Frequent. Pants falling down, revealing underthings? Extremely rare.
LikeLike
Some comments on the above: (FYI, Im a gal who does wear pants occasionally, but not nearly as often as I wear skirts or dresses. I pretty much save pants for absolutely freezing weather.)1. We have a wicker basket at the foot of our bed that I tend to get my clothes caught on accidentally when passing by (we really need to move it.) Every single time Ive caught a clothing item on it, its been pants, not a skirt. A skirt is much easier to sweep away from it as I pass. 2 3. I have also never gotten my skirt caught in my underwear. Ever. Is this really a problem for people?4. No need for a miniskirt and stilettos — they look great with a knee-length skirt, and you can actually show off your legs. Whether or not your pants make your legs look longer, nobody is going to be checking them out if theyre hidden. 5. How often do you cartwheel?6. I shave no matter what. And as far as flats versus heels, I actually feel more comfortable in flats with a skirt than I do in flats with pants. The former makes me feel sort of gamine-like; the latter makes me feel frumpy. 7. Maybe some dont care about where their pants hit, but I sure always have. Pants should be 1/4 inch off the floor no matter what shoes you are wearing. And getting separate ones for flats and heels is imperative. Im much more likely to need pants altered for length than a skirt. 8. Twirling in a pair of pants makes you look silly. In a skirt, everyone understands that you are twirling to get the pretty swirly factor :-)9 10. Again with the undies. Really? ALL my skirts and dresses are at least knee length. Even on a breezy day, keeping covered really isnt all that much of a challenge. JMO!
LikeLike
Awesome list, especially the twirling comment. Thank you.
LikeLike
Isn’t it wonderful that we have a choice in what we wear,not like our grandmothers or other cultures where it was/is forbidden to wear “men’s” clothes.
LikeLike
The hold saying about children hanging around your skirts is very true. as a dress/skirtwearing nanny I have often found small children using my skirt to pull themselves up. trouser wearing mums are depriving there children.
Skirts are comfortable and much sexier and this thead has had me laughing all the way through!
LikeLike
Just read this today. Very funny, but true. Skirts are comfortable without underpants, but trousers not so good. The only draw back being the need to pull the skirt out from between your cheeks if you go commando or wear a thong. Skirts tend to me more forgiving of a large meal or weight fluctuations. I haven’t worn slacks for a number of years and still manage to ride my bike and climb trees.
LikeLike