kylenw Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alcides Escobar Really Threw The Dick Off The Ball Yesterday
During yesterday’s rain delay at the scheduled Angels-Red Sox game, ESPN threw to a live version of SportsCenter, which is always fun for the chaos a live, highly produced news show always produces. But instead of bad jokes and dead air, the show was basically just a bunch of Alcides Escobar highlig...

Sentient Lacrosse Stick/Kicker Trolls Big Ten, Commits To Penn State
This here is Quinn Nordin, and today he committed to Penn State. Below, you’ll find a video he and a friend put together announcing his commitment, set to “Coming Home.” It makes no real sense in the first place—he’s from Michigan—and involving some sort of small, fixed-wing aircraft makes it even m...

Who Has The Best Super-Dick At Comic Con?
The 2015 Comic Con floor is open, which means hundreds of thousands of fans will soon be filing in to talk with comic creators, buy sweet commissioned drawings at Artist’s Alley, and, of course, check out some statues of superheroes wearing skintight costumes that show off their dick bulges. Deadspi...

Reaction To A Free Agent Signing, From Someone Who Attends Nets Games
As a corrective to the bullshit Knicks, the Nets had exactly one or two things going for them. Now they have one fewer. ...

You Know What, Fine, Do A Kristaps #Knickstape, Whatever, See If I Care
Oh Christ, here’s a Latvian rap video about Kristaps. ...

What The Hell Did Dwyane Wade Just Sign?
The AP reports that Dwyane Wade has agreed to a one-year, $20 million contract. What the hell?...

Who Is Russell Westbrook Side-Eyeing Here?
Yesterday, between 3:30 p.m. and 4:30 p.m. EDT, Russell Westbrook disapproved of something, or multiple somethings. Since there is no other NBA news to speak of, and especially since there is nothing miserable or at all depressing happening in New York, let’s use this downtime to figure out who cros...

What Are The Knicks Doing?
I’m just going to list some things the Knicks are doing....

A Lakers Story, In Four Tweets
The Lakers had the first crack at meeting with free agent LaMarcus Aldridge last night. They were actually the first of several teams to get a meeting, and Aldridge insisted that all meetings happen in L.A. Lots of people were excited about the meeting. ...

This Year's Home Run Derby Sounds Pretty Good, Actually
MLB released the format for this year’s Home Run Derby today. It’s, uh, different. ...

Report: 76ers Forced To Pay Pelicans $3 Million For Trade Shenanigans
The 76ers are the best. ...

Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...

No, Of Course That UFC Guy Didn't Yell About "Not For Gay Jesus" On TV
Does “Go for Jesus, not for gay Jesus, people!” sound like a plausible, idiomatic form of religious trolling to you, or does it maybe seem like the sort of infantilized structure that’s easy to map onto a non-native speaker’s syntax and pronunciation? ...

Maybe Kristaps Porzingis Is An Okay Rapper After All
Here’s Krzykyzffgzl so and so, the Knicks’ top draft pick last night, singing a song in his car. At first I didn’t like this:...

<i>Ballers</i> Shows Us How Boring (And Lethal) The NFL Really Is
That the season premiere of Ballers, HBO’s new semi-comedy about life in and around the NFL planetary system, turns out so predictably says something about how joyless those involved with professional football truly believe it to be. The show has the bones of a slogging 60-minute drama cut down to 3...

Why Should LeBron James Let David Blatt Pretend To Be The Coach?
ESPN.com has produced a piece of exceptional reporting on Cleveland’s run through the NBA Finals, with reporter Marc Stein coming away from the series with a notebook stuffed full of telling details about how LeBron James not only dragged a raft of corpses within touching distance of a championship,...

How To Steal Food From Craft Services
Today, I ate lunch on Netflix’s dime. It was okay. ...

Andre Iguodala Wins Finals MVP, Deserves All This Damn Shine
Andre Iguodala won the Finals MVP vote 7-4 over LeBron James (Steph got 0 votes). This makes it four Finals in a row that that MVP goes to LeBron or the guy checking him, and few guys in the league deserve a spot to shine quite like Dre. Below is a post from just after he shouldered his way into the...

The Fan Theory That Makes <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Make Sense
Game of Thrones is a confounding show to watch. It’s confounding because it is based on an interminable series of novels in which people are regularly burned alive or skinned or drowned in service to one god or the next, often for reasons like “calling in a warm front to melt some snow,” but also be...

LeBron Has Been A Damned Statistical Marvel In The Finals
There’s a way to look at Steph Curry’s stat line as an artifact of not just box score accounting, but his style. If you look closely, there are traces of the visceral experience of watching Steph double axel around a screen and fire up a three from the hip in arcane statistical whimsy, like fast bre...