I don't know about you, but I was once under the misconception that
cliques ended once we graduated from high school. Sadly, they do not.
You can also find them in colleges and universities, but then are
often called sororities. I never thought of myself as a clique type of
girl, but I ended up in one. The best thing that came of that, is that it
taught me not to be so shy, and left me with a very dear friend who
remains close to me to this day.
By nature, I tend to be a loner. I imagine that evolved from being
an only child. I did then, and do still, enjoy my own company. I
very seldom am lonely. Now that's not to say that I never hung out
with any other girls, because I did. I just wasn't quite the joiner
that others were, and frankly, I wasn't always seeking the approval
of others either.
At some point, I just learned to be happy in my own skin.
In the photo above, I am the girl with the bangs, or fringe as
the Brits would say. I remember going to a hair stylist years
ago, and she said that the bob hairstyle with bangs was perfect
for me because I reminded her of a Dutch girl. So, I never let
my bangs grow out, and wear them to this day. It's me.
It's my look, no matter what current fashion dictates.
This morning I was talking on the phone to a childhood friend.
We have quite recently reconnected, and it's been fun catching
up with one another's lives. We talked about a reunion I attended
last Fall, one that she chose to skip. She asked me about it
and about the really popular clique. Yes, they were there, and
yes they seemed to be as tight as ever. The big difference for me,
was that I had moved away, so the clique didn't have much impact
on me. I was able to be an objective observer. The other thing
I knew is that wherever one's travels may lead, there will always
be "The Clique".
"The Clique" is always a coveted few who rise to the ranks of
a localized stardom. It's a group usually made up of the
prettiest, the funniest, the most athletic, etc. They are found in
every town in this great land. They wield a power that only
a few may enjoy, some envy and the rest fear.
Some adults, and I am using the term adult loosely, find it
necessary to continue the security of "The Clique" long
past high school. It's a power in numbers type of concept.
There are rules, and any chance of a newcomer being accepted
into this coveted group, will require great scrutiny.
Perhaps you want to be a part of "The Clique". While I don't
advise it be a dominating factor in your sense of worth and
happiness, it is your choice. Proceed with caution. Play
your cards close to your chest and always know that you
may well be discussed in somewhat unfavorable ways
behind your back.
For those longing to belong to a coveted group, I
suggest living in a small city or town. Cliques are
plentiful there. If you want to go your own way, the
two best spots are a big traditional city like NYC,
or way out in the country or way up in the mountains
where the true loners roam. For most of us, we will
confront cliques for the rest of our lives. My advise
for survival is to stand tall, be proud, and be friendly.
People may like you, or they may not. The most
important thing is to like yourself, be comfortable
in your own skin, and to treasure the true friends
you already have.
Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley
