know what time it is?

It's time for me to pack myself up with a week's worth of clothes, some cowgirly boots, a pair of work gloves, a kitty cat leash, a stage and a big 'ol red.neck grin.

Why?

'Cause I'm Marburger Farm bound!!!

I have chosen not to set up "red.neckville" at Zapp Hall this year since "red.neckville" is spread all across the Universe via my Etsy shop, and reined in (as much as "reining me in" is possible) at The Hillsboro Antique Mall! Those two things - plus a few additional fun adventures to keep me on my toes - all add up to me having more than a full-time job of sewin', junkin' and thinking up new and great red.neck fun! YAY!

INSTEAD:

I am going to keep that pesky kitty Cat Daddy on a leash...

and make sure that Mama Debinator (aka: Talking Trash) gets center stage! (I think I've also volunteered to be her campaign manager since she's running for Prezdent and all!)

While I'm willingly schleppin' along side Mama Debinator and kitty Cat Daddy I will ALSO be harassin' Sweet T (aka: Theresa, Garden Antiques Vintage) who is debuting at Marburger - along with her blog party!  Good grief, do you think Marburger knows what they have gotten themselves in to by having kitty Cat Daddy and Cruz (aka: Mr Sweet T) in the same field? For that matter... have you SEEN Mama Debinator and Sweet T together?

Talk about double-trouble... *shakes head*

At Marburger (when no-one is looking) I will be sticking my duct tape to TOT (aka: Time Worn Interiors), Shelley (aka: Sweet Pea Home) and the most awesome Janet (aka: Talk Sweet Talk)... annnnnnnd anyone else I may run across in that pasture.

I will ALSO be mosey'n down the road to Zapp Hall every chance I get! You'll know me because I will be wreaking COMPLETE havoc everywhere in that cow pasture!!! Richard (aka: Alston's Antiques) was loadin' up an extra chair for me so I could hang out with him and visit the OTHER Richard, Patsy and Bill... then there's THE Carolyn Westbrook (I'm ALL about stalking Carolyn... luckily she rolls her eyes at me and lets me give her grief...) and Sarah (aka: Sarah Smith Salvage Style) and Cheryl and the gang at Royers, and MALissa (aka: Pent Up Photos) and the always beautiful Tricia (aka: Vintage Bliss) and - of course - Amie and Jolie (aka: The Junk Gypsies!) Annnnnnnnd... a whole bunch of other fun people - with some fun JUNK  in between!



I'm worn out just thinking about it all... but I still have to pack!!! Let's see... my cowgirly boots, a truck-load of sparkles, clothes, a pocketbook, my camera, my battery charger, my kitty Cat Daddy leash...

Will I see you there?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where here is a lil' TMInformation and/or FYInformation. Not ONE SINGLE PAIR of my socks match (stupid sock monster that lives in the dryer) - so I'm taking them all. It will be a guess as to what two colors (or patterns... I have some tractors, happy daisies, argyle and some Strawberry Shortcake) I will be wearing each day. See?  TOTAL FUN!!! On your way yet?

airing my dirty laundry...

For me, blue jean shopping is like shopping for that perpetually elusive and stunningly perfect bathing suit that makes me look like I'm 27 years younger, 10 feet taller, tan, and that I just casually sauntered off the pages of the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition magazine where I was the star attraction. This mythical and stunningly perfect bathing suit (and blue jeans... I'm just gonna throw in "blue jeans" so I'm not venturing off of my subject so early in my post) should disguise all imperfections, dents and dings - instantly make me look as if I've lost that pesky 400 pounds that just persists in stalking me and WILL NOT cease and desist! The flabbergastingly stunningly perfect bathing suit (and blue jeans) should and WILL hide my excessive Little Debbie Zebra Cake consumption (which could explain that pesky poundage), and... give me the over-all appearance of being a Victoria's Secret model in a teeny tiny polka-dot bikini with legs a mile long, a non-Little Debbie Zebra Cake belly... it will impede all wiggle that's in my jiggle and provide me with the ability to walk the cat-walk in my teeny tiny polka-dot bikini with my legs that are a mile long and not fall flat on my face because i tripped over a dust bunny that was not visible to the naked eye... and great hair.






blue jean shopping is pretty traumatic for me.

I can go for months WEEKS to various stores trying on EVERY. SINGLE. PAIR. of blue jeans that whatever store I'm in carries, and walk out empty handed (and still in HORRIBLE jeans) because not one pair fit right.

THIS (pointing at myself) baby's got BACK! I'm toooooo old something for sparkles on my tailgate... I'm toooooo old something for buttons on the aforementioned tailgate that has dropped and taken a detour SOUTH without my permission to do so.

AND:

It turns out I have a waist... my hips are larger than my waist... my legs are long...  and THIS (still pointing at myself...) baby's got back.

And "the GAP"? No... not "THE Gap"... I'm talkin' about the "I'm not a plumber but I pretend to be one by wearing these jeans" gap... you know what i'm talkin' about.

Have you felt my "I really need and want a pair of jeans that FIT" pain? Please tell me I'm not alone.

Well...

I FOUND SOME BLUE JEANS! YAY!!! I took 11 pair of jeans in to the dressing room (yes, I said ELEVEN pair of jeans) and came out with one pair that fits!!! The Levi's 529 CURVY fit. Seriously - they are beyond blue jean greatness and you need to own a pair (or 3)!

How long has it been since you have owned a pair of Levi's? I don't remember EVER owning a pair of Levi's! Now?

I own 3 pair (including the dirty ones I pulled out of my laundry basket so that I could "air my dirty laundry" with you) because that's how many they had after I ransacked the racks and surrounding tables. I refuse to torture myself and get a huge complex shop for jeans for a realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long time.

I'm not going to shop for a bathing suit either. *shudder*

Since this is not a paid advertisement for Levi's and/or Little Debbie Zebra Cakes (though Little Debbie could pay me with her Little Debbie Zebra Cakes), let me show you what else I've discovered lately:

"Rapid Wrinkle Repair"... I'm not sure how rapid it is, or how many wrinkles it might be repairing (the perfect wrinkle cream is hangin' out with that always evasive stunningly perfect bathing suit somewhere in the land of... somewhere.) but the freckles on my face look better... feel better... no oily residue and all of that other stuff that face cream bashers critics discuss. You should get some of this on your way back home from the blue jean store.

Now. If they would only make some "you will Rapidly become a Swimsuit Model over-night" cream for me... *wistful sigh goes here*

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I swear on my roll of duct tape. None of this was a paid advertisement for Levi's, Little Debbie Zebra Cakes and/or Neutrogena... I just thought you should know! Read it as a "Public Service Announcement"... or "red.necks against plumber's... uhmmm.... gap".




p.s. I grabbed my jeans on sale at JC Penney... no, this is not an advertisement for JC Penney either... but if they had that unattainable and stunningly perfect swim suit with a side of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes I might consider heading up their advertising department for them.  :-D

BUTTONED UP! (it's a how-to)

I am WAY more of a cardigan girl than I am a plain-ol' sweater girl. My theory? The more layers - the happier I am! Sew... when I needed a black and white polk-me-dotted cardigan, could I find one?

No.

However, I did find a sweater. And... me being the determined hard-head that I am... decided I could just turn it in to a cardigan.

Had I ever done that before?

No.

BUT! It's not that hard!!! And I'm not kidding you - I spent MAYBE an hour making it happen!

Here's how I did it:

Grab a sweater that is a size tooooooo big for you - turn it inside-out and fold the front in half.

Then get really destructive and CUT right up the middle.

Grab some Single Fold Bias Tape and iron the folds out so that it is flat.

Pin it right sides together leaving about 3/4 of an inch extra tape at the neckline and the hem.

And stitch it. I used an 1/8" seam.

Do both sides that way.  :)

After you are "in stitches", fold the tabs on the top and bottom in/under, then fold and pin the Bias Tape in/under to the inside of the sweater...

And stitch. And then stitch again. I did a stitch line an 1/8" in... and then an 1/8" in from the other side.

I really hope all of this is making sense... I know what I'm talking about - I'm hoping it's coming out of my fingers the same way it is stitching it's way through my brain sew that YOU know what I'm talking about!

VOILA! You have a cardigan front! Now... pick some buttons and sew 'em on... then mark where your button holes need to go.

And make your button holes. Oh... if you have the button hole attachment foot for my sewing machine, can I have it back? Please? I will pay the ransom in cardigans.

Now you are all buttoned up. Sew EASY, right?!

"the Mama" raised me in polk-me-dots, lace, red, BIG BOWS, and some pearls... sew as soon as it is LESS THAN 189 DEGREES here in my 'hood...

I will wear this.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide that could be filling up with sweaters sew that I can turn them in to cardigans... that was really fun! Are you going to try it?

call me Linus.

Yesterday, on a Saturday, I was a COMPLETE embarrassment to junker's 'round the world. *hangs head in shame*
I sat and watched movies... all. day. long.
Not one tag sale/garage sale/estate sale/flea market/junk store/thrift store... *re-hanging head in shame*

I assumed the "I am being ambitious by finding the remote control" position on my couch under my new-to-me afghan (we won't count how many of these afghans I have... I find them so "Granny Chic"!!!) that I got on FRIDAY while dogging Pam and Shauna w/Three Sisters Estate Sale Services footsteps. THAT was incredibly fun!!! It was my first time to "work" an Estate Sale (I got to help them by being the "holding" department... I'm not very organized... we will leave it at that...) and I'm ready to "work" with them again! It's hard to call it "work" when I enjoyed it so much!

Before my own personal movie marathon I sat down with this magazine:

I picked it up about a week ago but have been saving it for just the right quiet moment to open it and savor Debra's 300-year-old barn house that was featured in it!

I ADORE Debra at Capers of the Vintage Vixens. Always have - always will. I feel like I was visiting her by looking through her home via the magazine article!

I made a small list of things I'm going to try to sweet-talk her out of. Like... the aqua metal stools. And... lots of other things... maybe the list isn't so small...

One of my "GO THERE ASAP" goals is to raid Debra's house - ask her if she will come paint my floors red and white - and then go lurk and loiter in her new store, Maison St. Germain. All of this I will do. ASAP.  Connecticut... here I come.

Another thing I did during my movie marathon was feel the desire to cook.

Yes, I watched "Julie & Julia" for the first time... yes, I wanted to try cooking... yes, I lost that desire pretty quick. I REALLY don't think I could handle live lobsters in a pot, or a calf's leg...

or an oven for that matter. And WHAT are all of those pots and pans for?! I would be like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" with all of the different forks at the dinner table if faced with a wall of pots and pans! (oh yeah... I watched "Pretty Woman" too.)

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where today I am in awe of:

• Those of you who have mad crocheting skillz (AND patience!) and are able to create artistic greatness for me to carry around like I'm Linus.
• Debra aka: Capers of the Vintage Vixen, who has mad decorating and creative skillz and is an amazing Wife, Mother, Artist, Internet Friend and Business Woman.
• Those of you who can cook. And have pots and pans... and cookbooks... and know how to use all of those things.

bobbinator.

Connie - aka: "Mama Button" - had posted this poster on my Facebook wall...

Sew of course, I had to post this poster on my living room wall.

Connie TOTALLY gets me!!! You should hear me talking to the sewing machine doctor... I swear - I HAVE called it the "wheel of numbers" before... and I HAVE used the word: "bobbinator"... and I HAVE said, "the uppydowny thing"...

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide that is parked at an Estate Sale today!!! I'm going to harass Pam and Shauna with "Those Three Sisters" Estate Sale Services! Not only am I going to harass them - I'm going to dog their foot-steps all. day. long. If you're in the 'hood - you should join me!!! Here's their website... here's their Facebook page! I may, or may not, save you some of the good stuff.... hee-hee

brilliant!

 

all images from anthro

did you know that a pair of desk lamps are considered to be social-lights?

WHY?

because they keep going out at night together.

*snicker* 


i'd really like the stairs AND the lamps...