righty tighty - lefty lucy...

No... wait... I'm not talking about unscrewing junk.

Though I DO have a few screws loose...
I'm talkin': pocketbook handles using belts!

On some of my bags I leave the belt buckle in tact on the handle. It occurred to me that I'm being biased in thinking everyone is right-handed! Which is silly since the resident teen is a lefty... Most of my bags are ambidextrous, but some are not.

This one is ambidextrous because it's identical on each side - so if you're right-handed and carry it on your right shoulder, you're good to go. If you're left handed - you're good to go. But - MOST of my pocketbooks are different on each side... or there is a pocket on the backside... or.... something is happening that defines the front of the bag. And - if I leave a belt buckle in tact on the handle...

It starts to matter.

You can't have the buckle facing the person behind you when it's supposed to be facing forward! Am I making sense?

Or am I crazy (I am a detail girl... I notice all of the little things THEN go back to look at the big picture) for noticing things like that?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I'm wondering... are you right-handed or left-handed? I'm also thinking I should just keep making the majority of my pocketbooks ambidextrous 'cause I'm sew confused now... LOL!

mirror mirror on the wall...

Have I ever told you that I come by the whole "red.neck" thing naturally? I do...

My Grandfather. Whew - Grampy was the ORIGINAL red.neck. Heck, I'm fairly certain that McGyver was based off of Grampy's life. He could fix anything...

even if all he had was a stick of gum and a shoe lace.

And... he always had shoelaces because his fishin' hat didn't have what he thought were decent ties, so he ran some shoe laces through the hat to hold it on his head. But, that's not all... he had one of THE VERY FIRST computers hiding out in his wood-working barn... "the Mama" tells THAT story best (since she helped him build it... of course. Mirror mirror on the wall...):

Computer:

First, gather up all the 1 lb. coffee cans that anyone has…even if you have to empty out what they already had in it….

Then steal a sharpie from your daughter…

Number each can until you have enough to fill the shelves of the cupboard that you made from a side of the road TV cabinet…..

Then, as you fill each can with doo-dads and thing-a-ma-bobs, you write down what is in the can in your horrendous handwriting…with a woodworkers marking pencil….on the back of an old piece of sanding machine belt….

THEN you conVINCE your beleaguered daughter to type each list on a 3X5 card that you have just purloined from her desk…..

Then you hang allllll of the cards from a shower hook (that you probably swiped from said daughter) on the front of your cabinet full of cans, and call it...

a computer!

My Grandmother – she had her red.neck moments, but they were carried out in a very delicate, lady-like way... she was definitely the Chic to his red.neck.

This leads me to my Uncle (the wheelie popper at the top of this post... need I say more?). There is WAY tooooo much reading material for one blog post so I will just sum it up with this:

oh. and note the barn in the background...

His tractor/junk COOL stuff barn is bigger than his house. Like, you can see it from the road bigger. Like... three times bigger than his house bigger. AND! That’s just ONE BARN!

My Aunt? She has had her red.neck moments, but they are always carried out in a very delicate, lady-like way... she is definitely the Chic to his red.neck. Their kids? Let’s just say... mirror mirror on the wall...

Now... let’s discuss MY parents. Starting with my Dad:

My Dad is a veritable GENIUS with all things mechanical/electrical... and pretty much all things in between. VERY resourceful. He decided a few years ago to make his own gasoline using cooking oil – or corn – something like that. His gas station? An awe-inspiring conglomeration of hot water heaters with hoses and hook-ups and... things. When he wasn’t getting the gas mileage he wanted, he made a filtration system of some kind:

Needless to say, he’s not allowed to drive down-town or anywhere near the airport 'cause of the whole pipebombresemblance thing.. When I took this picture we had run out of gas...

There are other things I remember growing up... things like:
the cats and dogs + metal trash cans they wouldn't stay out of + low voltage car batteries = flying animals.
Banjo pickin’ in the top of very large trees.
I had an electric car before electric cars were cool and I used to drive that around his TV shop like I was an Indi driver... I’m not sure what it was made out of, but you can bet your favorite pair of overalls it was as interesting as his gas station.
Last time I visited him he had a yacht parked by his house. It was taller than his house... longer than his house... you could see it on Goggle Earth. yeppppp. Oh - and in case I didn't mention it... the yacht and house is in one of the biggest cities in the United States. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF one of the biggest cities in the United States. So far I only have a 3-legged chair and a hot pink horse parked by my house... a yacht could be next. mirror mirror on the wall...

Then we have “the Mama”.

Again – a genius. VERY resourceful. One time "the Mama" made a beautiful dress and she needed a pink pearl necklace to wear with it...

(she was raising three red.necks on her own at that point (this is important information for the next couple of sentences) and money didn't come out of the cracker jack box). So... she goes to the local dollar store – picks up some cheap plastic pearls and some Ritt dye. Voila! Pink pearls. I’m certain she was the belle of the ball.
When the Keds were so popular in the late 80s/early 90s I wanted a pair SO BAD! “the Mama” goes to the local dollar store – buys a pair of their version of Keds, grabs up her label maker...

And I had some “Keds”. Not kidding! I was the only one that knew the difference! I always sported pretty dresses with lace and fun buttons and more lace that I’m sure had curtains that matched it somewhere in the red.neck household.

Speaking of the red.neck household... have I ever told you our back door (which was really our front door because we’re red.necks) was a big – HUGE – HEAVY door out of an insane asylum?

I think it even had wire stuff sandwiched in the glass. Very fitting, yes? Now for the rest of the story: "the Mama" had to find us a new door because I was mad at the oldest red.neck brother and slammed out of the house... all of us (plus some neighbor kids) were all sitting verrrrrrrry quietly in our fear and terror when she came home that night... I honestly thought she wouldn’t notice the missing glass. *shrug*

Anyway – to take away from the fact that she owned an insane asylum (complete with huge, heavy – it would have taken a bodybuildertoslamit - door), “the Mama” painted our door lipstick red.

The door on the single-wide? Lipstick red. Mirror mirror on the wall...

My Step-Dad? Not only is he the Chic to “the Mama’s” red.neck... I think he’s the Chic to ALL of us. Do you think he knew what he was getting in to when he married us?

Comin’ to you LIVE from a single-wide where when the resident teen's car bumper got smashed up in a parking lot I handed him some duct tape. He took it... and walked outside with it... mirror mirror on the wall. WE ARE OUR PARENTS AFTER ALL!!! hee-hee

p.s. if you don't hear from me for a while it's 'cause i'm still running from "the Mama" when she discovers her mug shot in this post... i might be older but i'm still skeert of her... i figure i have at least a half hour head-start... but I have to finish the pocketbook I'm making out of Hefty bags first.

inspired by:

Stella McCartney. I have always thought that she is a phenomenal fashion designer! When I saw her dress on the cover of Lucky Magazine, I had to drag it home with me. (The magazine... not the dress. The dress is roughly $3,500... and no one wants to buy my kid (not that I've tried to sell him or anything *whistles innocently*)) If there was EVER a runway show during fashion week I would want to attend (besides Kate Spade's of course) it would be Stella's.

Usually when I'm inspired by something I'm not quite so literal in my translation...

example: I can see a huge red stop sign, run in to the laboratory and come out with a purple python bag sporting some fun acid green trim. Uh-huh... I'd stop for that one too. *giggle*

Anywho - the poke-me-dots, geometric fabric, heavy navy trim - the paisley and the floral...

all sent me running out to the laboratory. I ripped up a vinyl covered footstool, found some green and white poke-me-dots, dug through my trim stash knowing I had paisleyish somewhere... somewhere..., found some navy and white geometricish fabric and a navy suede skirt... stole "the Mama's" curtains again...

See the floral fabric? Back in the EARLY NINETIES "the Mama" made a bedroom set for her guest room (I found out yesterday she also had a dress made out of the fabric (just call her "Scarlet")). She moved her magical concoction from room to room - to a few different houses (where, of course, the curtains had to be re-made), then I stole it from her for MY guest room about 12 years ago, then my Sister-In-Law stole it from me for HER guest room... then a few years ago I got it back so that I could re-make the set in to a crib set (and more curtains...) for my youngest niece.

Now? A piece of it is dedicated to Stella. Because that's how things happen in my 'hood.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I still have a portion of a valance left of the original bedroom set... need anything? hee-hee

just so you know...

On February 20, 1962, John Glenn piloted the Mercury-Atlas 6 "Friendship 7" spacecraft on the first manned orbital mission of the United States. Launched from Kennedy Space Center, Florida, he completed a successful 3 orbit mission around the earth, reaching a maximum altitude of 162 miles. Glenn's "Friendship 7" Mercury spacecraft landed approximately 800 miles southeast of KSC in the vicinity of Grand Turk Island. Mission duration from launch to impact was 4 hours, 55 minutes, and 23 seconds.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where did you know that Herbert Hoover, the 31st President, had an opossum as his Presidential Pet? yep.

Have a fun President's Day!

flooding...

It's just raining and raining and raining here in the 'hood... it makes me want to sleep!!! One of my favorite things to do is sleep while listening to the rain drops on my roof...

but I'm supposed to be making things! What are you doing this week-end?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I've danced around in the rain drops and splashed through a few mud puddles... and the day is still young! hee-hee

vintage vs. retro

what is the difference between vintage and retro?

example: i was just on Etsy and saw a shirt listed as: "Vintage 80's..."

to me? 80's is retro... maybe not even that!

weren't the 80's just a couple of years ago? i could have sworn the 80's were just a couple of years ago... (and i just pulled the exact shirt out of my closet with the whole "oh my gosh - this thing is from the 80's?!!!" shriek as I threw it in the burn-this-NOW pile.)

cindy lauper
really bad hair bands with the coolest hair evah!
duran duran *sigh*
keds and 4 pairs of socks (1 for each color in your outfit - all layered up... do you remember that?)
bangs that stood a mile high with so much aqua-net in them there was no way those poofyliscious works of art were going to de-poof...


SHOULDER PADS.

are the 80's considered "vintage"? if so... i'm changing my birth certificate immediately.

vintage vs. retro. what is the defining date-line/age bracket?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where i'm walking like an egyptian...

vroom-vroom

What happens when you find some lil' cars racing around your sewing room (and have no clue how they got there?!)?

Glue a magnet on 'em.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where my money is on that lil' green bug... uh huh...

First and Foremost...

I want to thank each and EVERY one of you for your words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers... I'm tellin' you... I could NOT do this without you!!! If I could grab each of you and give you a big ol' red.neck hug, I would. But... you're there and I'm here - so let's pretend I'm hugging you - and thanking you. And hugging you.

As it stands now, I'm taking a leap of faith. I'm listening to God's plan for me. I'm giving red.neck Chic all I've got for the next month and a half. I keep swinging from sheer panic to giddy excitement - sometimes all in one breath! I have stood in the middle of the single-wide on several different occasions and screamed, "oh my gosh! i don't have a job!!!"! After I quit hyperventilating in the closest pocketbook, I then think "yes you do. get busy". Never once have I had a "full-time" chance to do nothing other than make things...

any things. All kinds of things! Who knows what will be under the red.neck tent at Zapp Hall or danglin' from the ceiling at the Funky Finds Spring Fling (heck - I, MYSELF could be dangling from the ceiling!) but I can tell you...

there's going to be a variety! Have you ever come across: "robelyn's brain un-leashed"? No? Me neither. *giggle*



I have been... sewing. Spray painting. Sewing. Re-upholstering. Sewing. Duct tapin' some pendants. Sewing some more... playing in the dirt... sewing... making lamps... raiding barns... sinking stuff in to concrete... sewing...

all with no make-up on. In my pajammies. With my hair sticking straight up like the redneck girly version of Alfalfa.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I'm thinking that I LIKE the fact that my work wardrobe now consists of Spongebob, neon polka dots, multi-colored pigs and fluffy penguin pajammys... if ya'll see me on the "people of WalMart" web-site in my jammy pants please please stage an intervention...