even though i wish it came natural for me to talk about what's inside my heart, and how it's been hurt, it is easy telling you that your kindness and concern towards me is like a warm hug that makes all the difference. thank you for checking in, my mom always did say i had the very best friends.
moving into light...did you have a good christmas? would you like to hear my favorite christmas story this year? first, four of my children came home for the holidays, always the best gift of all (but look what my baby girl, who turned twenty two this month, gave to me: a day we spent together here. heaven.) my middle son didn't come, staying instead at his home in brooklyn. so i prepared a box for him, christmas in a box. inside went a string of lights, packaged cocoa and marshmallows, a new mug. his stocking stuffed and gifts wrapped. i filled the box to the brim, if he couldn't be home for christmas, i would send it to him (and a little of me as well). off it went the beginning of december, feeling pretty pleased i had finally been so organized. i let him know to be on the lookout, and he was happy too :)
days went by and the box had not arrived. i tried not to worry, but did anyway. on saturday december twenty second, the message came, still no box, and my heart sank. we weren't sure if there would be delivery's on the twenty fourth, i tried not to cry, he would be okay i reasoned, it would be okay.
christmas eve. still no box. erik went off to his job that evening. i couldn't sleep thinking about it. after everyone went to bed i sat up with all the lights dimmed, sitting alone with the twinkling tree, when i saw my phone light up too. it was exactly midnight, what? who?
it was my son. he had just gotten home from work, it was three a.m., christmas morning. and he was calling to tell me that there on his doorstep, was the box. christmas had arrived! (santa clause!) maybe i am just turning into a silly old woman? but i truly had the feeling that nothing else mattered. the thing i wished for most of all came true. and that is what i wish for you in the coming year, along with much health and happiness and astonishment and love, that you have the complete and total feeling of nothing else mattering every once in a while.
wishing you the happiest of new years, welcome twenty thirteen. :)
