better

one week ago today my youngest child left home for university. i thought i was prepared. but oh dear was i wrong.

it took us both by surprise, her and i, but not really, we knew this time was coming. as she drove off, heading for the airport and her new life, bye momma! i felt so many emotions i couldn't put a name to them all. and i couldn't walk back into the house, empty as it was of her now. i couldn't think of what to do other than cry. and i didn't have to think to do that. so i stood in the driveway and cried. my. heart. out. as i was standing there i saw the bags of clothes she had put in my truck, could i please drop them at the charity shop, she asked? she couldn't bring everything with her.
and then, i had an idea! i raced into the house and told Chuck what i would do, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

i couldn't bear to give away her clothes, so i cut them up and made my first quilt

for hannah

i cut and cut and sewed and sewed, and listened to this on repeat. had to stop crying here and there so i would stop poking myself with the gd needle

ta da! here is her prom dress, and there is her lifeguard tee-shirt, one of her urban blouses, some jammys and the sides and back are her penguin flannel sheets

quilters, please forgive me, i am sure i broke every rule in the quilting guidebook (where do i get one of those?), there wasn't time to learn the right way

some of the squares have pockets, i am going to tuck little notes and money in those for an added surprise

one of the tee-shirts was made into another pillow - hay y'all! with another cashmere back (i scored on a few sweaters at the thrift shop)

my fingers are sore, but now i feel better, this quilt helped me survive her first week away, i worked on it morning, noon and night, obsessively i'd say

one last thing, i made her this banner too, out of discarded remnants (design store samples, sometimes they throw them out!)

for my girl

hannah :)

on wednesday i'll be here and for sure there will be more crying but lots and lots of laughing too, mostly laughing now.

♥ lori

p.s. hannah, i hope you haven't decided to begin reading my blog , but j.i.c., surprise! i hope you like it, love, momma (see you soon!)

my family
all five (grown) children
and two grands
came together for
a combination birthday(s) celebration
and good bye for the youngest sibling
and child (who leaves tomorrow for NYC)

my mothers pride feels that they are all
not only gorgeous on the outside,
but inside too...

hee hee hee

thank you coldwell banker (real estate firm)

for the loan of your sign

and thank you good natured sign holders,

for indulging me (you want me to do what with that sign?)

i love you all, you really are so very gorgeous to me.

♥mom lori

sun day

the three photos above all have something in common, SUN! seeing a shadow after all this grey fog we've had is like seeing things for the first time. i think light must be more important to me the older i get. and oh! what it does for my energy...

wash was hung on the line

walks were taken on the beach

treasures found , so hard to spot when everythings grey, so pretty in the light

played with my beach pottery finds

made a pillow for my daughter. she has a thing for tractors and i found this piece of flannel material at the thrift shop. and an old cashmere sweater for a dollar! i cut them both up,

the cashmere for the back

and the tractors on top! she likes it a lot. (see the sun shadows? ☺)

made banana muffins. these called for espresso, i added a bit of cocoa instead

yum

and started a new shawl, which will be more like a scarf, a nice full one, since i went down in needle size to make the lace a little less lacy and open

i found this beautiful wool made from baby alpaca and silk, the colors are named champagne and twilight (i love these things!) you can find it here, it's sumptuously soft and lovely. you can find the pattern in this book here

view from my room

why would i be making a warm scarf in the middle of summer? it is because the cold wet blanket of F O G is back. oh dear. can i take back what i said and wish for more sun after all??

i want to dedicate this post to my northern california friend Robin who has even less sun than we have. it's got to come out soon Robin! here is some light for you, hang in there! And to kj and lolo, Happy happy Birthday ♥

♥ lori

why i'll never complain about fog again

part one:
early morning. driving the long distance to meet my brother and sister, where we continued on to our mother's. today is the day we'll look for her new home. we have brochures of palm terrace and lake forest. we each have our own reactions, my sister is grumpy, my brother is quiet, and i can't stop playing pictures in my head of us, our lives. and i'm not really looking at what the kind director is saying or pointing out to us. this doesn't fit.

part two:

the heat, the fire

mid afternoon and the long drive home looms. didn't eat yet today and i'm sorry now since my energy is low and i've hours to go. but i don't care, i just want to get home. bye sister, bye brother, our bond is familiar, comforting, painful.

flashing traffic signs bring me to the present. FIRE. a brush fire at calabasas. that is miles away and the speed i was already traveling at was less than ten miles per hour. it's going to be a lot longer drive than i imagined.

a million thoughts later, i creep by the fire. two lanes have been blocked to allow for the many emergency vehicles. the fire came down to the road.

part three:

why i'll never complain about fog again.

sitting in nearly ninety degree heat, feeling trapped and worried while in the fire zone, i laughed at myself. i have been over the fog for weeks now. begging the sun to appear.

i thought the sun was my home. but here, the fog felt familiar. welcoming.

the sun is my home, but the fog is too. and i think maybe the fog is even keeping wildfires from spreading around these drying hills.

part four:

my home is in me.

my mom will be at home where ever she is because she'll always have herself and us in her. it has to be so. and once i thought all this on the long drive home i realized i was suddenly starving.

♥ lori