Warning: Deep spoilers for season five, episode nine of Love Is Blind lie ahead.
Whether season five of Love Is Blind was your entry into Netflix’s reality-dating “experiment” or the one that made you swear the series off for good, it has been nothing short of messy. Stacy finally found out that Izzy has bad credit (something Johnie has known since the pods); Milton dragged Lydia for how she handles her emotions; Uche’s efforts to expose Lydia turned him into the Pepe Silvia meme; JP’s whereabouts are unknown; a stan army has risen to demand the release of the Renee Cut. It’s all bad. And we at Vulture have dutifully scream-watched every second.
But the game isn’t over yet! We still have two weddings and a reunion to get through. Like many group chats across the U.S., the Vulture staff congregated in a Slack room dedicated to gossip — #netflix-mess — to share our predictions on how this glorious train wreck will end. Will Stacy and Izzy choose love and live in poverty? Will Milton and Lydia pass the SWOT analysis? Will someone please throw fists at the reunion? We get into all of it.
Do Lydia and Milton get married?
Morgan Baila: I say no. Lydia is the one to call it off because he calls her too emotional and she realizes he’s too young. He goes, “Eh, whatever,” but cries.
Anusha Praturu: I agree! Milton should say no, but Lydia is the one with the actual cojones to do it. She knows Milton isn’t ready for marriage. Milton will be heartbroken, but hopefully by the time the reunion comes around, he’ll be ready to admit that Lydia was right.
Dee Lockett: My educated guess is that Lydia will come to whatever sense she has and pull the plug on this in some dramatic “I’m enough for me” moment, as her arc has been building toward very unsubtly all season. And you know what? Yes, girl. Any age is too old to be marrying a man who leaves a plate of leftover food on the couch!
Savannah Salazar: I think Milton will follow Lydia’s lead. If she goes first, they’ll both say no, but if he goes first, he’ll say yes. Either way, they won’t get married. I get the feeling Milton thinks marriage is just next on the checklist after graduating college and getting a job, even if he does care for Lydia.
Alejandra Gularte: I don’t think they will get married, but Milton is the one to call it off at the altar. He’ll call it his “gut” feeling that he’s not supposed to go through with the wedding.
AP: Alejandra, I think Milton is too analytical for gut feelings.
AG: He’s a Pokémon Master, of course he has them! Battling Pokémon is ALL about instinct.
DL: I also think Milton is incapable of leading with his heart/emotions, which tells me he might be the one to call this thing off before Lydia has the chance. His mom and sister’s words will be ringing in his ears.
Kathryn VanArendonk: I think Milton says no because his mom sat him down and made him do a SWOT analysis.
Nic Juarez: I can see them both saying yes. I don’t know that Milton is fully ready, but he does seem to love Lydia and has a good head on his shoulders. He wants to get married, even if he doesn’t seem to fully grasp the weight of marriage. And Lydia is down for the cause. If he commits to her, she’ll SHOW UP for them.
Julie Kosin: I absolutely see them both saying yes. Lydia is intent on marriage and family, and I think she knows Milton’s a good guy, even if he does, to Dee’s point, leave food on the couch and open wine bottles with his teeth (icon behavior, sorry). They both say yes. Furthermore, they are happily together at the reunion.
SS: Wow, Julie. Brave.
NJ: I can see the wedding reception being litty.
Do Izzy and Stacy get married?
NJ: A big fucking NO. I see fear in both of their eyes. Genuine fear.
MB: Yes. And they have the longest prenup ever.
DL: I need a PDF of their prenup immediately.
KVA: They get married and Stacy uses a baby voice at the altar.
SS: I feel like Izzy and Stacy are way too deep in this delusion to give up. I do think they’ll have another dramatic fight before they say yes, though.
MB: I think Stacy gets cold feet, then she talks to Izzy and his “calm in the storm” nature makes her say yes.
AP: Yes. Unfortunately, they hate Johnie too much to let their very real incompatibilities stop them from “winning.” They’ll last until at least the reunion, but if Izzy doesn’t boss up by the time the spotlight fades, I don’t think Stacy is keeping him around.
AG: Yes, even if she feels like she’s making a mistake, she’s already been too vulnerable with him. She was willing to accept him at his best (in the pods) and his worst (his credit score). She’s established enough to overcome the financial stuff. They’ve also proven to each other that they are ride-or-dies.
NJ: They do not give ride-or-die energy, in my opinion. Not at all. Lydia and Chelsea, those are ride-or-dies. Stacy had too many conditions to be ride-or-die. She’s more of the “or die” variety.
DL: I have a few theories for this one, and they all lead to a “no” at the altar or divorce after two months: Stacy ends it because her family stages an intervention at the behest of her dad and she’s not about to risk that trust fund or putting her dad in financial ruin ’cause of all that debt (and other shady shit) Izzy’s clearly hiding. Or Stacy ends it all on her own ’cause he tells one more bad lie and she bosses up. Or he calls it off because his mother no longer holds her tongue. Whatever outcome, Stacy’s already got the PJ to France booked.
KVA: I agree they’re not together by reunion. Maybe they’re, like, “trying to take some time apart.” At the reunion, his leg shakes so hard he breaks a coffee table.
SS: They’ll break up by the time Stacy has to pay for the honeymoon.
DL: Completely agree they will NOT be together at the reunion. I do think Izzy and Lydia will be, though.
NJ: Izzy and Lydia get together, Dee????
DL: The way they looked at each other in person … absolutely.
SS: Twist of the century.
JK: I need a respirator.
Are Johnie and Chris still together?
DL: Who?
AG: DEEEEE! I think yes, and just dating! Maybe moved in together.
AP: I’m going to say yes. I think Johnie got a rough edit this season. Yes, she made mistakes, but most of her bad decisions stemmed from a place of confusion. She wasn’t ready for marriage, so the outcome, her dating Chris, was ideal.
JK: Yes. They’re my favorite couple despite Johnie’s insecurities. They both showed a lot of growth and maturity.
NJ: Johnie was a little scary in the pods, but I’m rooting for them and think they can make it work.
JK: Nic, yes — the pods are a high-pressure environment where you don’t always show your best self. I’m not sure we always take that into account. I know I don’t!
SS: Yeah, Johnie is not my cup of tea, but she sure is Chris’s, so I think they’re still together. Also, anything to annoy Izzy and Stacy is funny to me, so I support.
DL: They’re gonna reveal an engagement at the reunion, and I will be yawning. I like Johnie! Didn’t love how quickly she bought Uche’s bullshit, but she’s just impressionable. And Johnie handled Izzy and Stacy mostly well, which I think made Chris swoon harder.
MB: I think they broke up, but they’re in good places in their lives and she gets a good redemption edit in the reunion. However, I don’t think she handled that mid-season reunion fight well at all. I sympathize with her and wish her well, but I don’t think she won that Izzy-Stacy argument because she let them talk to her CRAZY.
DL: She didn’t get petty when she could have. And she DEFINITELY could’ve dragged Izzy to smithereens but didn’t. Izzy and Stacy would be finished.
MB: Yes, I wish she did!!! I wanted her to gracefully fight back.
SS: Izzy will give them a backhanded apology while Stacy stays quiet.
DL: This is not a prediction, but more of a reunion request: Johnie and Stacy should brawl.
Will Taylor, JP, Aaliyah, and Uche show up to the reunion?
AP: Taylor should show up in full glam and lashes and bag a hottie. JP should show his face and answer for his crimes against conversation, but he won’t.
SS: JP will show up on Zoom.
NJ: A cardboard cutout of JP is there, no one knows the difference.
AP: There is nothing Uche loves more than a soapbox moment, so he’ll be there.
NJ: Uche goes full Shake: He’ll show up with fabricated screenshots (and nobody cares).
AP: Aaliyah will do whatever Aaliyah wants to do, and I support that choice. I hope her choices include verbally dismantling Uche.
DL: I would very much like Aaliyah to exclude herself from this entire narrative. But also, we need to have a Lydia-Aaliyah brawl, too. That is so unresolved.
NJ: DEE! Fighting over what? Uche? I’m sorry, but that would be embarrassing.
DL: No lol, respect!!!!! It still pisses me off that Milton ran to the bathroom to avoid all that conflict.
JK: AND THEN GOT MAD AT LYDIA FOR HOW SHE HANDLED IT.
DL: Childish behavior. But I have a feeling we’re gonna learn a lot more about Uche in the reunion. But my worst fear/prediction is that Aayliah and Uche somehow got back together.
NJ: Please, no. The reunion will turn into an intervention.
Is this Nick and Vanessa’s last season hosting?
MB: I can only hope and pray.
JK: They’ll be hosting season 47 from their coffins.
MB: Lauren and Cameron, it’s your time.
AP: Give us the Hamiltons. PLEASE.
Last predictions?
AG: Lydia is gonna bring her own receipts and obliterate Uche.
SS: I’d like a PowerPoint timeline of that relationship, but the reunion is never that in-depth.
AP: I think we’ll get a pregnancy announcement this year.
DL: Anusha, I really think it’s gonna be Lydia.
NJ: Who is the daddy, Dee?
DL: MILTON OMG!! Lol.
NJ: (Just checking.)
DL: I really think we might see some hands thrown this reunion! Lighting my prayer candles for mess.
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