Prologue
And so I screamed at the chef, "Oh YEAH? Well you can SUCK IT". And then we stormed out of there tooting and drooling all the way.
Chapter 1
(3 weeks ago)
My sister and I went to a Country Club for lunch with our mother and a couple of friends. Our friends happen to be 90 and 98 years old. They're the smartest people I know. They wear scads of jewellery, nicer clothes than I do, go to way more parties and always have lipstick on. We go for this lunch once a year during Christmas. Always the four of us, always at the Country Club. The only thing that made this year different was that the 90 year old got a hearing aid so we didn't have as much yelling.
As a starter I ordered the Carrot Ginger Soup and my sister ordered the "Golf and Country Club Salad". I slurped my soup down in a jiffy, wondering the whole time if it was homemade or from some kind of soup powder. I'd know soon enough. My sister took one bite of her salad and started twitching. Within seconds of tasting it she declared it the best thing she'd ever eaten. And it didn't stop with the first bite. She talked throughout the entire salad. About the salad. To the salad. She had a 5 minute affair with a salad and said things to it I know for a fact she hasn't said to her husband in years.
Now that she'd tasted the salad she knew she wanted to serve it at her Christmas party the coming weekend. So ... being the confident show off that I am, I said "I'll get the recipe for the dressing from the chef". So when our waitress came around again I asked her if she could possibly ask the chef for the ingredients in the dressing. I didn't need measurements, just the ingredients. She seemed doubtful, but agreed.
10 minutes later she was back with our main courses. Not a word about the dressing. So I brought it up again. Hey. How 'bout that dressing recipe? Is that coming with the coffee? Please? Pretty please with a rather large tip on top? Turns out this particular chef doesn't like to share recipes. By this time a rumbling had started in my stomach. The kind of rumbling that can only be described as inner toots. I was tooting on the inside. My suspicions that the soup was from a mix had been confirmed. I had the soup toots. I get those from soups that aren't homemade.
So I thanked the waitress for trying and resigned myself to the fact that the dressing was probably storebought and came in a vat, and that's why the chef didn't want to share her secret recipe. As a chef it's hard to admit your secret recipe begins with "Take a left at the canned goods aisle".
My inside toots were threatening to become outside toots at this point so I had to really concentrate on not letting that happen.
By now my sister was drooling. It was the thought of the salad. She was like Pavlov's dog. At any mention or thought of the salad she started dripping spit. She was very disappointed that she wasn't going to be able to make this salad for the party, so being the confident show off that I am I said, "Don't worry. I'll figure out the dressing". Although I had no idea how.
Well, as luck would have it, ... turns out our waitress was a bit of a talker. With each trip back to the table she'd mention an ingredient. Sure, she'd claim she wasn't sure but she thought such and such might go in it. And she was almost certain she'd seen them mix in some of that. By the time we'd left I'd got Maple Syrup and some kind of fruit juice out of her.
By the end of the lunch I'd gathered up quite a bit of fondness for our waitress and a great deal of contempt for the chef. As we got up to leave I glared at the kitchen and in my head screamed at the chef, "Oh YEAH? Well you can SUCK IT". And then we stormed out of there tooting and drooling all the way.
This salad has been stolen. It's a stolen salad. If you choose to make this salad you will be aiding and abetting a criminal. Do so at your own risk and volition.
This dressing is a mixture of sweet from the maple syrup and tang from the vinegar. If you're not in love with vinegar in your salad dressings, then use a half part of the vinegar. That's how I did it for my sister because she likes her dressing really sweet. She also still likes fish sticks.
You can buy Sugared Spiced Pecans from The Bulk Barn. They're just sugared pecans with a touch of cayenne pepper, so you can also make them yourself really easily.
And yes. I did get the recipe figured out in time for my sister's party. It was the hit of the party. People ooed and ahhhed over it. People lined up to get a glimpse of me ... the salad maker. They begged me for the recipe. I told them to turn left at the canned goods.
And then I gave every single one of them, even the ones who didn't ask for it, the recipe.
OK Karen,
I'm a bit of a procrastinator and I'm at a lake in beautiful northern MN and thought of this salad you had blogged about, and boy did you. Anywho, went online to retrieve it and it appears the, country club chef, had put a gun to your head and made you take it down. Is it possible for you to repost??
You make me laugh outloud!!
Thank you,
Mimi
Tried the maple salad dressing tonight and it was great! This one is a keeper.
I'm glad you liked it Jeff. I bought the ingredients to make it yesterday myself. But I forgot to buy pecans. :( The pecans make it. ~ karen!
I had a salad similar to this about 1 1/2 years ago. I vowed to figure out the dressing when I got home. I started with the maple syrup and balsamic vinegar and winged it from there. Since I did not write anything down as I "winged" it each time I make it it has a slightly different taste-but not that much. I make my own spiced pecans and add apples and dried cranberries instead of strawberries. If your not into the vegetarian thing you can even add some grilled chicken-just wing it!
Combining inner toots with your outside voice...could be fun times :)
I am going to try to eat boat loads of this salad, and hopefully it will help with my holiday muffin top. Well, I always have a wee muffin top, but now I have a festive muffin top.
Can you send me recipes for breakfast salad, lunch salad and dinner salad? I should be thin as a rake after that :)
Happpppy New Year to my favorite funny blogger in the whole wide world. Love ya !
Lynne xx
Lynne - Even *I* have a muffin top after Christmas. A muffin back actually. I'm normally so thin I'm close to death. I'm sure everyone pities me. I suggest using the same salad for breakfast, but add way more nuts. Pretend it's granola. For lunch add way more lettuce. And for an actual dinner meal just sprinkle the salad with a few cheeseburgers. Done! You're welcome. ~ karen
Heh heh- "outside toots".
We call them "windy pops".
*titter*
Windy Pops. Love that name. We call em 'Mouse on a motor scooter', although some times a mouse on a HARLEY comes along.
Love it! I bet it was difficult to keep your inside voice when leaving the restaurant! The recipe looks delicious! Love your pics too!
Robyn - It was indeed. Thanks! ~ karen
Just made the dressing for my lunch salad. I couldn't wait. DELISH!! I might ntot share the recipe :)
Paulina ~ Wow! That was fast! Glad it worked out for ya. ~ karen!
I cried at reading that, could barely contain the sip of tea I had just taken when I got to the inside outside tooting and Pavlov's dog. Hilarious!! Salad looks good too :-)
I'm sharing this recipe along with you to all my internet friends. The only thing better than that would to be to know the chef's name and call the salad Chef so and so salad. LOL I always ahare all my recipes but if I leave out one critical ingredient and it doesn't seem the same, is that my fault? Nooo, I don't think so. However, though, now that I think of it, there is that recipe for Auntie Em's muffins. Oh, well, not very many people have asked for it unless you count my mom, four sisters, daughter-in-laws, best friend from high school, the pastor's wife,and God. Really, it's just that one recipe and a couple of others......... I share. Really, I do.
Concentrating on keeping your inner toots... inner toots!!!
made my Thursday!
I don't mind at all if you steal great recipes like this..and hey..don't worry..if you happen to go to jail..we will be waiting for your next post when you get out..
I have to leave a 2nd comment & share another Maple Balsamic dressing (source unknown) similar to Dana's.
It is a bit more asian in flavour than the one you've devised but anyone whom I serve it to, adds it to their repertoire.
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
1/8 c each- olive oil & sesame oil
2 tbsp each- soy sauce & maple syrup
3 cloves of crushed garlic
1/4 tsp each- dried thyme & dill
Add to jar & shake. Serve over baby spinach, with mandarin orange sections & sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.
Hey Karen, That is a great dressing. I think your chef uses Edna Staebler's books. Remember her? Food that Schmecks. She made something similar but with regular balsamic and no juice. As you pointed out - it's optional. I heard Edna run through the ingredients on a CBC interview years ago and figured, rightly so, it sounded like a killer combo. Like you, she offered no measurements, just the list. Yum! Take that back to your uppity chef.
I always enjoy reading your posts. You're so funny. Thanks for the recipe!
-Paulette
Thanks Paulette - Feel free to pass along the hilarity that is me to anyone you know. :) ~ karen
Way to go Karen! You must have a a pretty big dollop of terrier in your blood. This salad might be a good one to try on hubby some day. He likes salad but isn't that into "fancy", though he has a big love of maple syrup. Perhaps this salad will lure him over to the wild side.
toot sweet on the recipe! Don't really like maple syrup but might still make it since it sounds so ummm yummy.. Glad our strawberries are in season (not) but California ships them here to sell to us midwesterners...or maybe its Florida...either way they are in the grocery store...