I’m not your typical house frau. I learned this after browsing a Canadian census on line. For one thing … I was actually reading the census. On a Friday night. For fun. Yup. I feel quite confident at this point that I can advise anyone who is considering this as a form of evening entertainment to eat a wool sweater instead. It would be more fun. So yeah, I'm not typical.
But I was bored and avoiding housework. That’s something that everyone does at some point, right? Housework I mean, not avoiding it.
Well, according to the census … not so. Of the approximately (I’m being approximate … not the number loving , abacus polishing folks in the Census department) 9 million Ontarians that are “eligible” to do housework, almost 1 million of them don’t. As in, they checked the “I do zero hours of housework in a week” box.
What about Spring Cleaning? They don't even Spring Clean? (THIS is PRIME spring cleaning season by the way and here are 3 Quick Spring Cleaning tasks you can accomplish in UNDER an hour.)
I can understand people are busy with working and kids and Netflix and everything, but not devoting at least 3 minutes a week to cleaning a toilet? Not that I run around with a feather duster in my holster all day long, but I do find it necessary to do the odd thing around the house to keep my life running smoothly. Like washing my unmentionables. Or perhaps throwing out that 7 year old miniature bottle of Heinz ketchup I thought I might need for a French fry emergency one day but didn’t.
My job as a blogger allows me to work at home. This accomplishes two things. I'm always here to make a mess and I'm always here to clean it up. I prefer the making of messes mind you. On occasion I will do neither and actually venture out of the house, most often to go to the Dollar Store.
I LOVE the Dollar Store. For one thing every single thing in there is a dollar(ish). They used to only take cash which made overspending difficult but now that they take debit cards it's a bit of a free for all. It makes absolutely NO sense to leave The Dollar Store without $50 worth of off brand scented candles. None. I’m getting a bit off track. The discussion of grossly underpriced toilet brushes and stackable boxes does that to me. We were talking about housework.
I figure I do about 7 - 10 hours of housework a week. Which is a total guess based mainly on cleaning the kitchen and scowling at the litter box. Is that excessive? 7 hours? The census made me think so. It implied I was freakish even. A veritable cleaning machine at 7 hours a week.
I called a stay-at-home mom friend to ask her how many hours a week she thinks she spends doing housework. In between the roar of the vacuum and the screams of her children she said “Oh … I’m not sure … OH MY GOD THE DOG’S PEEING ON THE COUCH AGAIN!!”. Then she had to go. So no help there.
Like everyone, (except those curious one million who don't do ANY housework) I have my favourite household chores. Who doesn’t like those vacuum marks on the carpet? The only thing better than a vacuum mark on a carpet is a vacuum mark on a couch. I’ve convinced myself as long as I have at least one of those vacuuming marks on the couch in conjunction with a clean kitchen sink, I can actually fool everyone into thinking my whole house is clean. So my kitchen sink is always clean. Usually.
I have a relative who actually runs her hand over the couch so it *looks* like a vacuum mark to keep herself happy.
Emptying the dishwasher? That is a chore I hate. HATE. I couldn't dread it more if the dishwasher were filled with somersaulting centipedes as opposed to clean dishes. In fact, I'd prefer it because at least that would make a really good Instastory that I could get some mileage out of.
I also really love having freshly washed sheets and freshly washed pajamas. All white if possible. I don't love washing my sheets and duvet cover but the end justifies the means, so that's a household chore I can get behind. Ironically I did find a centipede on my bed a while ago and did indeed Instagram it.
It wasn't as fun as you might believe and I'm actually rethinking that whole dishwasher filled with centipedes scenario.
So, I’m not your average house frau. I’m not sure I’ve ever met one. What I am sure of is there are approximately one million of them out there I will consciously be trying to avoid. Ick.
So lay it on me. How many hours do you think you spend doing housework? Is it ... zero? And most importantly ... how much do you love vacuum marks.
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I remember my MIL telling me that in the late 1950s/early 1960s when the technology from the space program began to produce improvements in home technologies, women thought they would never have to do housework again. Appliances like clothes dryers meant no more line-drying clothes, dishwashers meant no more dishwashing; vacuum-cleaners and wall-to-wall carpeting meant no more stripping and waxing linoleum floors or maintaining wood floors; new kitchen appliances like self-cleaning ovens, refrigerators with ice makers, early microwave technologies, toaster ovens and the quick-to-make foods like TV dinners, instant pudding, refrigerator biscuits, macaroni and cheese from a box meant they’d never have to cook or clean up a kitchen again. Of course none of those pipe dreams really came true. However, when I go to be with my washer washing clothes, my dryer drying clothes, my dishwasher washing dishes, my robotic vacuum scheduled to clean my floors in the middle of the night, my Instant Pot set to make oatmeal at 6 am, and my coffee maker set to have the coffee ready when I wake up.... I know I am getting more done in the hours I am sleeping than I ever get done during the day!!
Housework? Hmm! Well, I do have 3 hrs of assistance every two weeks so I can't figure that into it, and I am definitely NOT keen on housework, HATE it in fact, although I like a clean house -- at least once every two weeks. (Guess which days I have guests, or will have when we can have indoor guests.) Even with that aversion, though, and if we count doing laundry -- I am fanatical about sorting clothing in the correct piles and get teased about it -- then I would guess I am up to about 10 hrs a week, maybe slightly more some weeks and something less others. With Swiffer everything and hardwood floors in all rooms but one -- rectified this winter with luck -- I can do the whirling dervish thing and it will look like I have spent hours vacuuming. One needs these little tricks. Oh and then there are the Miracle Cloths for the windows -- well, okay, I do them once in a blue moon. Shoot, I am now writing about doing housework when I should be deadheading my Miss Kim lilacs, my old fashioned peonies, and my roses. Off I go to do housecleaning of a different sort on a beautiful morning here on the West Coast. Happy cleaning. P.S. Among the slobs who say they never do housework I would guess there were some very wealthy people who have others who do it all for them. The others? It doesn't bear thinking of but I have known one or two of those.
I read all the manuals for our doll house size efficient appliances and shaved some time off cleaning, but the “dryer” is really an extractor, not vented as we are in an apartment. The fiancé works out twice a day and he is 6’2. Stacks up fast. Laundry takes ages. I hate cleaning, so I drink. helps the resulting backache from not squatting or using proper form every time I move loads between the washer/dryer stack, or cleaning the floors. A glass of champagne, Victoria empress gin cocktail, a hot chocolate with amaretto-not blotto, I like to see what I am doing an don’t want to get fat- just a dram to make cleaning the toilet more bearable.
Reading the comments has made me feel ashamed for slacking off so much. I LOVE the fresh, clean smell of a clean house, but unfortunately, it is rarely found in my own. As I’m a stay at home mom, all household chores are my responsibility, whether I tackle them myself or bribe or guilt the kids into it. But I would say at least 3 hours DAILY is needed just for the kitchen. Just the cooking, cleaning up and the dishes. I am trying to get the kids to participate more ( loooong overdue), and happy to say, they are getting better at doing it with less nagging 😁