There may very well be less of you reading this post today than normally would. Hurricane Sandy has ripped through a lot of North America taking some of it with it.
As I type this on Monday night my power is out and I'm on my last reserves of battery, so if there are typos or errors or weirdnesses with this post at all I trust you'll forgive me.
~ karen
Hate carving pumpkins? Me too.
I know you're probably scoffing right now, but I really do hate carving pumpkins.
I do it. And I'm good at it. But it doesn't mean I like it.
I have a friend. We'll call her Wesley, because it rhymes with her real name ... Leslie. Well, Wesley is really good at making pies. Homemade crust, fresh fruit ... delicious pies. She's really good at making pies. So wherever Wesley goes, people ask her to bring a pie.
She does it. She's good at it. But she doesn't necessarily like it.
But she's a good person, so she always brings a pie.
Thankfully pumpkin carving happens less often than pie cravings. I only have to devote one day a year to it.
Last year I didn't even do that. I don't know what happened but I just ran out of time. Cough. Sputter, sputter, H a cK! O.K. I do know what happened. I didn't want to carve any pumpkins so I didn't. So sue me.
I felt bad about it because sometimes people come specifically to see my pumpkins. I made up for it by answering the door topless.
If you TOO can't stand the thought of carving your pumpkins do what I did.
Just stick something out of your pumpkin. You still have to hollow it out but you don't have to carve a face. Just meander around your house and look for things you can stick out of your pumpkin.
A skull for instance ...
This is a ceramic skull I own. I just cut a hole in the pumpkin, approximately the size of the skull and shoved it in. Since there are gaps between the hole and the skull, light could shine through giving it that eerie look.
And yes those are white pumpkins I had. You could do the same thing with orange ones. I know it seems stupid to say that, but someone will ask. Not you. Someone stupid. This skull is actually a candle I got at a garage sale years ago. BAM. Shove it in the pumpkin.
I drilled out the eyes a bit so the light inside could shine through them.
Yet another ceramic skull ... this one is a candle holder.
And a prosthetic hand. Actually I think it's a mold for a doll's hand. You can see about how I acquired it here.
It looked especially magnificent when lit up.
It took no time at all to do this collection. And I think it still has the effect one wants from a carved pumpkin. Interesting to look at, makes you feel all Hallowe'eny and fools people into thinking you actually spent time on it. Speaking of Halloweeny ... for those grown up parties there are a variety of things you could stick out of your pumpkin.
In case you don't have skulls and baby hands at the ready this would also look completely FANTASTIC with a whole mess of spiders spilling out of the hole. Little ones. Like they were just born and are escaping their sac. Makes my stomach do a flip just thinking about it.
But be warned. Don't get too good at this. Don't make it too impressive unless you want to be making impressive pumpkins for the rest of your life. EVERYONE will know that you can do it and you're good at it and they'll want you to do it all the time even if you don't like it.
Like with sex.
Happy Hallowe'en everyone!
Tigersmom
Oh, and I almost forgot. I'm sure your friend Wesley appreciates your stalwart protection of her annonymity. ; )
Tigersmom
Hope you're weathering Sandy ok and your power gets back on soon. Pretty sucky to have the storm mess up Halloween for so many.
It gives me comfort knowing you have food that you have canned and plenty of firewood and means to cook things that don't require electricity.
I love alternative ideas for pumpkins as the trad Jack-o-lantern has been done to death.
marilyn
wow great karen, but even that is too much punkin carving for this chick..i hung up my boa wreath i made via the art of doing stuff..that will have to do..lol
Reg
oo ooo How about bunches of false teeth breaking through the pumpkin like Alien.
Reg
Great ideas. It just worries me a little that you have body parts hanging about somewhere.
Debbie
Great ideas!! Now to just convince the kids!! Hope you're not without power today!!
Karen
Debbie - I am still w/out power. I'm using the last of my iPhone and computer battery to approve comments. Sitting by the fire dreaming of coffee. ~ karen
Rose
Those are Great! Now to find ceramic skulls in two days! Do you think they're at Dollarama?
Heather
What a spectacular idea. I absolutely adore the simplicity and ease yet how versatile it really is--allowing for creativity. I too have had demands made on me bc of previous creations. People dont realize the amount of blood, sweat and tears that go into our creations. Sometimes I am not up to it. Thank you for the inspiration for dramatic yet reasonably simple projects. Keep it up!
Karol
Cackle, cackle! Screamy, screamy! Happy, happy Halloweenie! Love it.
Mary Kay
Hello Karen - hope you gain power soon! We are getting tons of rain and wind but so far so good. The pumpkins were great!! I like the spider idea too - but my family keeps stealing the spiders and putting them in places like the fridge to scare the crap out of me. I hate those people. (not really) but at this time of year I do.
Maddy
Aaaaahaaaaaha! Karen you crack me up! Was having a grump but this cheered me up and now I I know why my man leaves the housework up to me- I'm just too damn good at it. But I can change that... Whoops I accidentally bleached your jeans? Broke your favourite beer glass? Vacuumed up your cuff link? Sorry honey, maybe I'm losing my touch?
Kim
Stay safe -- guess i'm geographically challenged as I thought you lived in the Canada above Minnesota or something. I don't know which part "just Canada" or maybe above Washington State....hmmmm heard its pretty there.
Kim
Kim from Milwaukee
Kim, don't feel bad. I suffered from that delusion as well, thought she lived in B.C. somewhere. She's a mystery, she is.
Tricia Rose
Me three.
Jill
Take care, Karen. Hope a power outage is the worst of it for you. I didn't realize until this morning how little our news channels say about the affect of the storm on our neighbors to the north. As usual, it's all about us! :)
Susan
I just love your site and can't tell you how many times I have used your great ideas......
I too love to put pumkins out but didn't want to spend so much time on getting them ready so now we use a small jigsaw to do all the work.....
White
"Like with sex."
...
In context, may well be your best punch line ever! You set it up perfectly, and delivered full-frontal.
Langela
I second that! I actually laughed out loud.
Janet
SO did I!!! Too Funny!
Kristin
best. line. ever. Love you! Plus, your pumpkins totally freaked out my kids.
Stephanie
Karen I hope you faired well with the weather. Our power just came back on here in fairfax va. And happy day! The first email I had was a pumpkin post. I love the idea of the spiders spilling out, could never do it myself. The lil critters give me the humongous creepies
Kathy
Ceramic skull. Sure it is. ;)
Karen
LOL! Oh ... I have a whole story about a skull which I'll leave for another day. ~ karen
Rhonda "SmartyPants"
The hell with how impressed I am with your uncarved pumpkin decorations - what great ideas, so much safer, repurposing, recycling, revamping the whole carving tradition - but, I was leading away from that track and moving to the fact that your dedication to your blog was what impressed me even more...damn, you take care now, please. I'm sure you've got The Fella there next to you, chickens roosting in the dining room on some wowzer of a Dollar-A-Rama roost you constructed by candle light, and you've got enough frozen/canned tomato sauce to make it through ten disasters, but I hear this "Sandy" is a real B-I-T-C-H. I'm on the west coast so I can only sympathize/empathize/wring my bony fingers/furrow my already-wrinkled brow. Hey I know what I can do -- I've got a spare bedroom, if you need it. Just let me know -- one if by night, two if by horse or however that went. Seriously, take care, prayers and best wishes for a calm, windy-free Halloween. Best.
andrea meyers
BAM!
inspired by the spider idea, hmmmmm
Lena
These look great! Gonna try it out.