This is the true & harrowing story of how against all odds Betty managed to scare Karen even more than that time Betty chased her around the living room with the eye from a potato screaming 'It's a centipede!!'
Don't worry. I'm O.K. I mean I'm not, I've had a lifelong fear of centipedes which was amplified to genuine phobia by this Earth Hour event. I did however make it through Betty getting Covid O.K.
Just to recap, Betty is my 87 year old mother. You may recognize her from a few years ago when she sledge hammered through my kitchen drywall. Or more recently when she took a woodworking course and turned her own salt box with lid.
I know the typical route of a story like this would be to focus on Betty, the elderly woman who contracted a potentially deadly illness.
But if we're being honest here, and I always am, being worried sick trumps all other sicknesses. So I win.
Table of Contents
The Beginning
Thanksgiving always falls somewhere around the middle of October in Canada and it always happens at my home. 13-15 of us bump around each other in my little house before we all sit down to eat 65 minutes or so after I originally called everyone to eat.
Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, broccoli casserole, red cabbage, buns, turnip. Without fail.
Very occasionally, if one of us has watched an episode of Downton Abbey or some other show featuring civility, we might swap out the Campbells-soup-made broccoli casserole for fresh green beans.
Just like a real family of fictional lower level royals.
This year was different though. This year there were only 5 of us at my Thanksgiving dinner with my niece and her husband going to their cottage instead and my other niece spending it with her husband's family.
I'm not sure why they abandoned me. It's not like the other dinner hosts were giving out prize money or anything. I mean I could understand if my nieces had called me, grief stricken at the choice they were forced to contemplate and ultimately make after being teased and tempted by money.
I'm so sorry Auntie Karen but there are cash prizes at this other dinner - and little Charlie needs a new cane and a pair of his special shoes that let him walk and move while barely lifting his legs.
You mean a hockey stick and skates?
Yes, yes, exactly, I knew you'd understand.
I mean I GET greed. But wanting to spend 2-4 hours somewhere else? With - other people? Well that's just bullshit.
Sure. Maybe their new Thanksgiving society doesn't fight and nobody lights their fingernails on fire during dinner but do they have a Gobble off? Or measure each others heads at the end of the meal?
My guess is no because you don't normally come across that kind of whimsical dysfunction outside of a Ryan Murphy series.
Plus I've always been a generous and welcoming host. Not all, but certainly most years I've waited until EVERYONE has put down their pie forks before I tell them all to go home because I'm sick of them.
Suck on that level of graciousness Crawleys.
Also, not to beat a dead turkey but one year I even gave everyone an hour of contemplation and self reflection when I left the very dinner I was hosting to frantic-pick all the frost tender vegetables in my community garden.
Since it always comes in the middle of October, Thanksgiving also often comes with the first frost warning. I found this out just as I was about to serve dinner.
At the time running out the door screaming LUFFALUFFALUFFALUFFALUFFA wearing a pair of slightly singed oven mitts seemed like the right call. It still does.
As I was saying there were 5 people here on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. We ate, drank, and relaxed after dinner with coffee and Covid tests.
Just for fun. Because as I've explained, I am fun and my Thanksgiving dinners are fun. And nothing says fun like testing yourself for a potentially deadly illness.
Until the person sitting next to you gacks up a positive.
The Middle
Before we get to the story middle, I think I need to explain the arrangement that was in the middle of the dining room table. As you can see it's now on my foyer tulip table. It had to be moved prior to the actual dinner because it read a little too "would you care to pay your respects to the body?".
Also it was the size of German Shepherd.
Like I said, Thanksgiving around here often comes the same weekend as the first frost warning. That was the case this year. The night before I was to host dinner, a frost advisory was issued and yet again I ran to the garden, this time screaming, FLOWERSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I cut off every single bloom from my community garden flower beds then came home and did the same in my front yard. There were a lot of flowers. Good. I can Downton Abbey the shit out of my dining room table with them, I thought.
Instead I ended up with a 3 tiered monstrosity that blocked everyone's sightline. Looking back on it moving that flower arrangement may have given my mother Covid.
It was my sister, sitting to my mother's left who was responsible for the positive after dinner Covid test. She had no symptoms but did say she had a bit of a headache.
This is not abnormal at one of my Thanksgiving dinners so I didn't think anything of it. When she tested positive in our little game of Covid roulette we were stunned.
Exactly across from Betty was my brother-in-law, who tested positive for Covid the next morning.
I believe that flower arrangement would have provided at least as much protection as an N95 mask in terms of spittle blockage.
But I moved those flowers and 3 days later Betty tested positive for Covid.
The End (but not the end because Betty is O.K.)
At 6 a.m. my 2 sisters and I all received the same text message from my mother.
I think I have it.
Of course we knew what she meant. Although I didn't because I was drooling on the sofa downstairs away from my cell phone because I couldn't sleep in my bed and thought moving would alleviate that. It did.
Thank you for worrying that my sleep may have been disturbed by all this. It wasn't. Until 8:30 a.m. when I woke up to the phone ringing. Fish Pedicure was calling to tell me that Betty felt really sick and thought she might have Covid.
I called Betty right away and she sounded like death. Worse than that even, I thought she sounded a bit scared.
She didn't talk long, she didn't have the energy, but she ended the call by saying she was going to call her doctor.
WHAAAATTTTT??? O.K., now this is serious. Now I am getting very uncomfortable with everything happening around me. (this is where you can start to sympathize with me for the horrible worry I've had to endure)
Betty was going to call - the doctor?? This is a woman who has a strict, "If I don't feel better in a week I'll call the doctor" policy. This mantra is often repeated on a week by week basis for 7-8 months or until a bodily fluid starts coming out the wrong colour.
She does not call the doctor.
But she did.
If she had not called the doctor right away there is a very good chance that I would be writing this post from a very different perspective and you would need to feel even sorrier for me and my terrible awful experience with not having Covid.
Her doctor immediately called in a prescription for Paxlovid and I picked it up. She had the treatment into her within 12 hours of showing symptoms. Paxlovid works by STOPPING the virus from replicating itself in your body.
It prevents a few hundred virus particles from multiplying into billions. In the 12 hours since first showing symptoms her temperature went from normal to 101, she started coughing and could barely move. She felt nauseated and very weak.
The sooner you take the drug the better. She took it very soon. All thanks to me and my delivering it. I healed Betty with the power of my Volvo. Which is a 2007 so don't think you have time to stop feeling sympathetic towards me just yet.
On the second day, Thursday as I type this, Betty is mainly sleeping. Her fever came down a bit today and she could eat some of the turkey soup I made her. Fish Pedicure dropped some flowers and a new box of Covid tests on her porch today and Pink Tool Belt is sleeping at Betty's.
Betty will probably tell her to get lost in the morning because she's not awake to tell her to get lost right now.
Of the 5 people at dinner, 3 have Covid and for now I am not one of them.
I do still have a case of the worried sicks but I popped a bunch of peanut butter cups which completely stop worrisome thoughts from replicating into the billions as long as you chase them with Ruffles and dip.
At this rate of success I fully expect my Thanksgiving table to be set for only 1 next year.
Which will give me a very good shot at winning the cash prize.
For more Thanksgiving shenanigans THIS is what a real Thanksgiving looks like.
When your mom comes down with Covid, its definitely time to worry! I'm glad you all caught it early enough for the medicine. I caught Covid about August 1 and didn't realize it for several days, so was too late for the meds. Then all my (adult) kids and their families got it, my mom went to the hospital and died (NOT covid)... August was a very bad month. So I'm happy that Betty is ok.
The flower arrangement is gorgeous.
About your website: I used to be able to tap the title and bring up the list of posts in chronological order. Then I could pick a starting point and easily catch up. The individual posts also had forward and back tabs to proceed to the next or previous entries. Those features are gone! The menu is useful when I'm looking for a recipe or something specific like how to keep rodents out but not so good if I want to know which post came after the recent Cottage Garden blog!
Aw, Betty! Why'd you have to worry everyone like that? I'm glad she's on the mend and I wish my doctor had given my mom Paxlovid in June.
Hope Betty recovers soon, Karen, and you from worrying too much. Hubby always says that women love to worry, it's in their nature.
I got Covid before they called it a pandemic, after I went to a funeral. It wasn't too bad, similar to getting the flu, but it triggered a bout of shingles around my eyes that lasted for months. I looked sorta like a racoon. 🙂
Speedy recovery to Betty!
I am relieved your mom recovered but I have to admit it was a comical post.. have a great day😊
Oh my goodness. So funny and scary and scarier and funnier. Be well everyone. Take time to feel better.
"Head measuring" pales in comparison to what happens when an innocent elderly woman cooks the turkey neck in the extra pan of stuffing "for flavor" but forgets to take it out prior to serving it to a table of teenagers and man-boys. Needless to say it looked like a cooked use-your-imagination and shenanigans ensued when someone suggested we pass it around the table and each person state what they are thankful for while holding it. It went downhill from there.
Sending good thoughts to Betty. So thankful the story turned out as it did. I lost my own mother 3 weeks ago (not to Covid) and while we were not close it was still my mom.
Since you're in Canada, you may be tremendously amused to hear this:
I'm a USian (living in Brooklyn) and I got Covid back in July; a mild case for me, fortunately. I ultimately didn't need Paxlovid. But I DID want to take something to alleviate the symptoms.
And....I used BUCKLEY'S MIXTURE.
Yes. I have had a bottle of that in my possession since about 2006, back when it was still occasionally available in stores in the USA, and a small indie pharmacy in my neighborhood recommended it to me when I had this awful cough that would not stop. I walked in and told the pharmacist through my coughs that "I just want to stop coughing." He handed me a bottle of Buckleys, but pointed at the slogan as he did so - "It tastes awful, and it works." "This is ABSOLUTELY TRUE," he said. I took a dose and nearly threw it back up because of the taste - but within only TEN MINUTES, that cough which had been non-stop for the past two days was GONE.
I took some Buckley's when I had Covid and it had the same effect - even, as I noticed later, the bottle had expired six months prior.
So even though I have to now mail-order Buckleys from Amazon for about $25 a bottle, and even though it tasted like yeti spooge, I still take it because holy HELL it works. It may be a good backup to the Paxlovid when it comes to treating symptoms.
Best wishes to Betty, and at the very least I've given you both a laugh.
Karen, I’m so relieved that your mom will pull through! However, I suspect your work here is not yet done… when a body takes a wallop, that body needs more rest than we generally allow for, especially with a virus. People relapse, or weaken themselves, by trying to do too much too soon. I suggest activities that will keep Betty convalescing for an extra week or two after she feels better. You could pick out every color nail polish that those kids today like and test them out. Possibly on Betty while she’s sleeping. You could get all the Mel Brooks movies and all the popcorn, strap her down, and see if such a marathon has any important psychological effects worth publishing. Or you could glue the doors shut, glue the blankets to the bed, and write a blog about what kind of glue would keep Betty resting. Wishing your family well, through the holidays and beyond.
Feel better Betty! Much love to you all, Karen. Thank you for always finding the humor and sharing it with us. I particularly love Betty stories because she and my mom were cut from the same cloth. She passed one month shy of her 94th birthday and two months shy of what was to become the Covid pandemic, thank goodness! She never had to live through it and for that I am truly thankful.
Warm wishes to Betty for a quick recovery, and great that you fast tracked the meds to her. I laughed so much at this story, Betty is a woman full of spirit, and you inherited that. Flower arrangement is beautiful, even more beautiful than an n95 mask!!
So glad Betty, but most especially you, are ok! A great Turkey Day story. Stay well Karen
Hmmm.... Thanksgiving in the U.S. is in November and we're planning to have the whole family together for the first time in three years. Maybe I'll stock up on COVID tests to replace my daughter's roasted red pepper and goat cheese appetizers. I'm not a big fan of goat cheese. Glad Betty is on the mend. And you can stop worrying.
Do the test before everyone gets together!
Paxlovid…. What can I say. It made my mouth taste like a brass band was warming up in my nasal passages for the duration of that prescription but I’m pretty sure it kept me from getting far sicker than I would have without it. Although I’ve never played Covid test roulette it sounds super fun! Karen, the aircraft carrier sized floral arrangement fit for a royal funeral was a nifty touch & I totally understand an accidental overdo-just one more bead on the gown kinda thing. You are the icing on October’s Cake!
Oh, Honey. I know you must've been a mess worrying about Betty, because you know you came from the original superwoman and she isn't supposed to get sick ever and especially not with the most scary, awful thing that can creep up on anyone, anytime. But Betty raised three fine daughters and they weren't going to let her not pull out of it. Each of you rallied to help your mom get through what must have been scary for her, too, even though she probably says she wasn't.
My daughter is the only one in our family who's gotten Covid, a couple months ago, right before her 51st birthday. Paxlovid got her up and around really quickly, but she said it was disgusting to taste. I told her so is six feet of dirt, so shut up. My 13-year-old grandson had a positive test but no symptoms, so we're not sure if he had it or just a false-positive test. I still wear a mask when I leave the house, and still go out only when I really need to. I want all this to go away and let us get back to bitching about ordinary things again.
I personally would worship at the feet of someone who grew those flowers and put together that arrangement. It's stunning. And there are some families who would really appreciate not being able to see the people across from them at the Thanksgiving table, you just don't happen to be in that kind of family. As time goes on, you're going to find it's really quite pleasant hosting the annual dinner for fewer people than in the old days. Groups break off and gain other obligations and it's the way things work. Enjoy what you have and never lament that it's different than it used to be.
I am pleased to hear that your mom is on the mend, and that you are slowly recovering from what, all kidding aside, must have scared the living shit out of you. So I guess THAT is something for which to give thanks... even in Canada. For what little it is worth to you, and more what it means to me, I'll be making your chili tomorrow for a Saturday chili cook-off contest at my son's home in a northern suburb. There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd place small prizes for the lucky winners. If I score something I'll send it on to you. And may I note that 1. Your flower arranging skills are outstanding and B. You can beat the crap out of tree with a shoe and wine bottle better than any cute gal I've even seen.
Glad Betty is ok. You too Karen. Happy Thanksgiving!
That sucks. My mom got COVID and I freaked out. She needed Paxlovid too. She called me every day to tell me how much she hated Paxlovid. She said it tasted bad and it made her really nauseous. Long story short, my mom lived. She thanked me for all those vaccines I made her get. Then she quit smoking after over 40 years! Maybe your super cool mom will get super powers from the Paxlovid.
ruffles and dip as a Chaser. Harrumph. and yet, I get it I think.
Too many thoughts and worries to think about the right order of things. That's in my experience why we have friends and family (and blog-friends/family?). To fill in those gaps of consciousness when all our cylinders are firing with 'dangerdanger Will Robinson' and so on. Not that That makes any sense, but I hope you Hear Me? Well, whether you do or don't - stay alert Will, dangers lurk. I know you're on top of it - when aren't you? - but take care of your 'ol dame Betty and yourselves. As you have. But this virus isn't kind or pleasant to anyone - least of all anyone of 'a certain age' and extra-special attentiveness is required. My Dad and my birth-mother both died in the past year - not Exactly or Particularly From Covid. But....it didn't help things along at all. Just sayin'? Maybe just polish your superhero boots?....
Oh, I’ve been wanting a dose of Betty…..and possibly with a chaser of PB cups! (BTW, those fancy pants Justin’s nut butter cups are really to die for, no, not that kind of die!)…
Please pay attention to Amber’s reply - not just because she’s got some of your writing aptitude, but she’s right about the impacts going forward.
And, you made me weep with joy at seeing the dahlias - I had none this year, first time in decades, dues to geographical and watering challenges with our new bi coastal life, but it makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I can resurrect a small bed of them for next year!
Last, your spherical object in the shelves behind the dining table. What the hell is it? DId you unearth it in the garden? Make it? I’ve wanted to make spheres forever for my garden, but haven’t quite figured out how to do it without owning a concrete mixer and hiring someone to lift the sacks of mix for me!
As usual, you’ve gotten the day off so much better for tons of folks on both sides of the border.
We’re rooting for full recovery!
Karen, I’m so glad your mother is improving! Wow, what a shock… I mean about it going around at the Thanksgiving dinner (not a good thing, like passing around the side dishes). I hope the holiday was wonderful on the day, though. Stay well, Friend!