A look at this year's Thanksgiving dinner table setting complete with antique flow blue, gold chargers, silver domes and a few bugs.
I have a Thanksgiving tip. If there's someone coming to dinner that you want to make a good impression on go ahead and uninvite them. Or keep them, but lock the rest of your family out.
Family dinners on this scale are only likely to impress arsonists and other seekers of chaos.
At the very least make sure that person is the first to arrive, so they walk into a perfectly calm sanctuary of fresh flowers, china and jazz. You won't have to lie to them to accomplish this. Just tell them the correct time to arrive.
The rest of your family will show up at least half an hour late giving your timely first guest at least a snapshot memory of how things could have been had you only been part of a less maniacal bloodline.
You, my friends, are getting the first guest impression of this year's Thanksgiving dinner.
The flow blue and silver plate were set, a single Big Duck marigold at each place setting. Those same marigolds could have remained fairly anonymous on the table, just adding a little personal touch for each diner.
And in any other family that is how it would have remained.
In this family of pokers, prodders and general menaces of fine manners, it was pointed out the marigolds held a hibernating bug or two.
This led to guests strumming their thumbs across the petals like a Vegas card dealer to see how many bugs they could get to jump out.
Which wouldn't have been all that terrible if they'd chosen to do it either before or after the food was set on the table. Instead they did it during dinner.
There was no HUGE formal arrangement for the centre of the table because I used most of my flowers and floral time making individual arrangements for the guests to take home.
One arrangement was granted to each household through a game of chance at the end of the evening.
Moments before the first guests arrived I made sure I was looking my best so as to set the proper tone of elegance for the evening.
Because I had to do the messy arrangements outside in the pouring rain 10 minutes before their arrival, my particular brand of elegance came in the form of a stained windbreaker and a 3 year old manicure.
5 arrangements for the 5 different households that came for Thanksgiving dinner.
I knew these were going to cause panic and fighting so I decided the best way to allocate who would get 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and last pick of the bunches was a sword fight.
Not a single guest agreed to it. No one. This is exactly the problem with my family. They are never willing to fight to the death for anything.
However, they will continue to indulge until their stomachs are stretched tight, their movements slowed to a pace that a first-year medical student might mistake them for dead, perhaps as early as the second helping of mashed potatoes.
By the end of the meal, forks teetering with the weight of pie could no longer be lifted to their mouths. They didn't have the strength. Instead people were just letting their heads fall forward in the hopes their mouth would hit pie. Most heads just hit the table with a thud.
Drawing straws was mentioned as a way to disperse the flowers and I agreed because it seemed like a quick and easy way to get them out of my house if they weren't going to reconsider the sword fight.
A few family members sent me pics of their new arrangements in their natural environments. To look at their homes you'd think they were perfectly normal, reasonable people.
Betty's selection
But they're not. My family is not normal. They are bug flinging pie eaters who descend on my house, set off an explosive without me seeing it and then leave.
I know. It's awful. They're just like your family.
Can I come next year?
Sure thing! ;) ~ karen
How do they get the match sticks out of that oblong glass container? I can't see a seem or handle or anything...
It's designed to be placed on the table upside down. You can see the bottom of it has a cork. You flip it over, take out the cork and grab a match. ~ karen!
I saw the gorgeous white pumpkins and immediately thought, she's gonna cut off the tops, roast them, and serve dinner out of the pumpkins!!! Ooo! You didn't. Oh well. Maybe next year. 😄 I can't believe you let people eat on your "good" china! Lol. I can't remember how many decades it took mom to finally bring out one of her sets of wedding present china. The first holiday, and any time after, that we used them, she was like Monica in that friends episode with the good dishes and she was telling everyone not to cut their food on the plates! We all laughed, then violence was threatened if any scratches were found... Lol. Like your family, explosives and all. Only sadly when they "leave" after the mess they made, half of them it's just to lock themselves in their bedroom for hibernation. (Rather than "leaving" leaving). Leaving mum and me to clean. Grrrr....
I always find these weird tiny green flat spiders in my marigolds, so I figured they were the source of the culprits when you said bugs, lol! And everything was gorgeous!
What was the menu? All I can identify is the carrots and mashed potatoes1
Beautiful place settings and the food looks amazing, can’t wait for our Thanksgiving!
Gorgeous parting gifts--definitely worthy of some sort of competition. Start with a few mental-type of tests, then the physical one. By that point they would be too invested to back out! We have got to move out Thanksgiving up at least a few weeks, to better enjoy.
Every year when American Thanksgiving rolls around (it’s all over the tv 😉), I kinda feel a bit sorry for you guys down there, with it mashed in so close to Christmas. Having it mid October is wonderful! All our decor blends in nicely for Halloween then there’s a good break before we do another turkey smash in our faces thing. Also, the weather is definitely better in mid October than late November! Usually. 🍁
haha ahh, your writing is so hilarious. Gorgeous place settings, especially love the non-traditional white pumpkins, they are so festive and fall without the over-the-top oranges and golds and browns. Someday I hope to have Thanksgiving at our house; but maybe a year when we have fewer projects and can actually use the dining room.
I LOVED your commentary........the best laugh in ages. Have you ever considered stand up? By the way I'll be 94 in a few days & it's people like you who me going.
Quite beautiful!
Lol bug flinging pie eaters. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Every Thanksgiving I think of you and your aluminum pans and paper plates wistfully. ~ k!
The table setting is just so nice - beautiful and functional. The flower arrangements are incredible! You are the hostess with the mostest for sure. Don't give up on the sword fighting for first rights though. ;)
I so want to be on your guest list! I promise to wear appropriate clothing,not have a concealed explosive?!?, and bring several bottles of really good wine to make up for the normal family that you're related to. Actually, mine really is fairly normal so I love having them for the holidays. However, I'll bet you have a much more exciting day...and your guests have to be very appreciative of all the trouble you go through - flower arrangements for each family - SOOOO nice of you!
Beautiful flowers & table arrangement.
Sounds like a ‘time’! An explosive..?
By the way, where did you get the light fixture over your dining table? I want one like that.
Hi Susan! The light is a George Nelson bubble lamp by Herman Miller. and it's not cheap! Like everything else the price was high to begin with but is even higher since COVID. ~ karen!
As always, you have nailed it…..the essence of Family Dinners…..but who is wearing the gray sweatshirt!? With that table setting? Never mind all the home grown, home made , and laboured over with love turkey !!! Banish that kid ! Or at least made them do the dishes, INCLUDING the greasy turkey roasting pan!
These are the events that create memories. No one remembers the quiet, staid, well-mannered events. You set a mean table.
Hahaha
Our thanksgiving at the farm was very quiet. Only 5 of 20 came everyone else was sick 🤧 not willing to infect those of us with immune troubles. Very considerate of them , 3 with weak immune systems. We did take a Costco spiral ham out to the farm as we new they had not had one before. It was a Hugh success with the 3 that had not had it before . Our choice was going to farm 1 1/2 hours away or 10 hours one way to Regina… we didn’t feel up to Regina trip, good thing as they came down with stomach and throat issues/ infections also .
Wishing all well!
In this upside down world we have falling into.
I support your decision to avoid the 10+ hour drive! ~ karen
Ours is obviously more than a month away, but I hope you and yours were able to again make memories, which is what it's all about. I'm not certain my circadian digestive system could adapt to turkey BEFORE an over-abundance of Halloween candy.
They sound like so much fun!! Just like my family. 😂
Fabulous as usual! I’m coming for Thanksgiving dinner next year! Wonderful flower arrangements, and what explosive??????
The mess they left behind for the host to clean all by herself the following day. That's the explosion! I'm well aware of that scenery in
Yes m'am! ~ karen