Hey, You Down There by Harold Rolseth

fifty or sixty feet, a common depth for many wells in the area. Calvin babbled on, but Dora didn’t listen. She was amazed ‘Ain’t you ever heard of them secret government
Hey You Down There His greatest fear was that he would hit a layer of rock which at the remarkable way in which her prayer had been projects?’ asked Calvin scornfully.
by Harold Rolseth would call for the services of a well-drilling outfit. Both his answered. If the hole had no more bottom, there would be no ‘This must be one of them. Now I’m going to town to get
funds and his credit-rating were far too low for such a team. more dirt to haul up. me a load of flashlights. They must need them bad. Now,
Calvin Spender drained his coffee cup and wiped Calvin picked up a bucket to which was attached a long When Calvin had regained his strength, he crept to the mind you watch that hole good. Don’t let no one go near
his mouth with the back of his hand. He burped loudly rope and lowered it into the hole. It was Dora’s backbreaking edge of the hole and peered down. it.’ Calvin strode to the battered truck which was standing
and then proceeded to fill a corncob pipe with coarsely task to pull the bucket hand over hand after Calvin had filled it ‘What are you going to do, Calvin?’ Dora asked timidly. near the barn and a minute later was rattling down the
shredded tobacco. He scratched a match across the from the bottom of the hole. With a mumbled curse, Calvin ‘Do? I’m going to find out how far down that hole goes. Get highway towards Harmony Junction.
top of the table and holding it to his pipe, he sucked emptied his pipe and started down the rope ladder. By the the flashlight from the kitchen.’ Dora picked up the bit of parchment which
noisily until billows of acrid smoke poured from his time he got to then bottom of the hole and had filled the Dora hurried off. When she returned, Calvin had a large Calvin had thrown away. She could make nothing of the
mouth. bucket, Dora should be there to haul it up. If she weren’t, she ball of binder twine he had brought from the tool shed. writing on it. It was all very strange. If it were some secret
Dora Spender sat across the table from her would hear about it. He tied the flashlight securely to the end of the line, government undertaking, why would foreigners be taking
husband, her breakfast scarcely touched. She coughed From the house, Dora saw Calvin prepare to enter the well switched it on and lowered it into the hole. part? And why would they need flashlights so urgently as
lightly, and then, as no frown appeared on Calvin’s and she worked with desperate haste to complete her chores. He paid out the line for about a hundred feet and then to pay a fortune for one? Suddenly it occurred to her that
brow, she said, ‘Are you going to dig in the well this She reached the hole just as a muffled shout from below stopped. The light was only a feeble glimmer down below and possibly the people down below didn’t know there were
morning, Calvin?’ Calvin fixed his small red-rimmed indicated that the bucket was full. revealed nothing. English speaking people up above. She hurried into the
eyes upon her, and, as if she had not spoken, said, ‘Git Summoning all her strength, Dora hauled the bucket up. Calvin lowered the light another hundred feet and this time house and rummaged through Calvin’s rickety desk for
going at the chores right away. You’re going to be She emptied it and then lowered it into the hole again. While it was only a twinkling speck as it swung at the end of the line. paper and pencil. In her search she found a small, ragged
hauling up dirt.’ she waited for the second bucket load, she examined the Calvin released another long length of twine and another and dictionary, and she took this with her to the kitchen table.
‘Yes, Calvin,’ Dora whispered. Calvin cleared his contents of the first. She was disappointed to find it had only another and now the light was no longer visible, and the large Spelling didn’t come easily to Dora.
throat, and the action caused his Adam ‘s apple to the normal moistness of underground earth. No water seeped ball of twine had shrunk to a small tangle. Her note was a series of questions. Why were they
move rapidly under the loose red skin on his neck. He from it. ‘Almost a full thousand feet,’ he whispered in awe. ‘And no down there? Who were they? Why did they pay so much
rose from the table and went out of the kitchen door, In her own way, Dora was deeply religious and at each bottom yet. Might as well pull it up.’ But the line did not come for an old flashlight? As she started for the well it occurred
kicking viciously at the tawny cat which had been lying tenth bucket she pulled up she murmured an urgent prayer up with Calvin’s pull. It stretched and grew taut, but it did not to her that possibly the people down there might be
on the doorstep. that it would contain more water in it than earth. She had yield to his tugging. hungry. She went back to the kitchen and wrapped a loaf
Dora gazed at him and wondered for the thousandth settled at praying at every tenth bucket load because she did ‘Must be caught on something,’ Calvin muttered, and gave of bread and a fair-sized piece of ham in a clean dish-
time what it was that Calvin reminded her of. It was not not believe it in good taste to pester God with every bucket. the line a sharp jerk. In reply there was a downward jerk that towel. She added a PS to her note apologizing for the fact
some other person. It was something else. Sometimes Also, she varied the wording of each prayer, feeling that God almost tore the line from his hands. that she had nothing better to offer them. Then the thought
it seemed as though the answer was about to spring to must become bored with the same plea repeated over and ‘Hey!’ yelled Calvin. ‘The line...it jerked!’ came to her that since the people down below were
her mind, as just now when Calvin had cleared his over. ‘But, Calvin,’ Dora protested. obviously foreigners and possibly not too well versed in
throat. But always it stopped just short of her On this particular morning as she lowered the bucket for ‘Don’t Calvin me. I tell you there’s something on the end of English, the small dictionary might be of help to them in
consciousness. It was disturbing to know with such its tenth loading, she prayed, ‘Please God, let something this line.’ answering her note.
certainty that Calvin looked like something other than happen this time... Let something really and truly happen so I He gave another tug, and again the line was almost pulled She wrapped the dictionary with the food in the towel.
himself and yet not know what that something was. won’t have to haul up any more dirt.’ from his hands. He tied the line to the stake and sat down to It took Dora a long time to lower the bucket, but finally
Some day though, Dora knew, the answer would come Something happened almost immediately. As the rope ponder the matter. the twine grew slack in her hands and she knew the
to her. She rose hurriedly from the table and set about slackened in her hands indicating that the bucket had ‘It don’t make sense,’ he said, more to himself than to bucket had reached the bottom. She waited for a few
her chores. reached the bottom, a scream of sheer terror came up from Dora. ‘What could be down underground a good thousand moments and then tugged the line gently. The line held
Halfway between the house and the barn, a the hole, and the rope ladder jerked violently. Whimpering feet?’ Tentatively he reached and pulled lightly on the line. firm below, and Dora seated herself on the mound of earth
doughnut-shaped mound of earth surrounded a hole. sounds of mortal fear sounded faintly, and the ladder grew This time there was no response, and rapidly he began to wait.
Calvin went to the edge of the hole and stared down taut with heavy strain. Dora fell to her knees and peered hauling it up. When the end of the line came into view, there The warm sunlight felt good on her back and it was
into it distastefully. Only necessity could have forced down into the darkness. ‘Calvin,’ she called, ‘are you all right? was a small white pouch of a leather-like substance. pleasant to sit and do nothing. She had no fear that Calvin
him to tackle this task, but it was either this digging or What is it?’ Calvin opened the pouch with trembling fingers and shook would return soon. She knew that nothing on earth - or
the hauling of barrels and barrels of water each day Then with startling suddenness, Calvin appeared. At first into his palm a bar of yellow metal and a folded piece of under it - could keep Calvin from visiting a number of bars
from Nord Fisher’s farm half a mile down the road. Dora was not sure it was Calvin. The usual redness of his parchment. The bar of metal was not large but it seemed once he was in town, and that with each tavern visited,
Calvin’s herd of scrub cattle was small, but the face was gone; now it was a yellowish green heavy for its size. Calvin got out his jack-knife and scratched time would become more and more meaningless to him.
amount of water it drank was astonishing. For two He was trembling violently and had trouble breathing. ‘It the point of the blade across the metal. The knife blade bit She doubted that he would return before morning.
weeks now, ever since his well had gone dry, Calvin must have been a heart attack,’ Dora thought, and tried hard into it easily. After half an hour Dora gave the line a questioning tug,
had been hauling water, and the disagreeable chore to control the surge of joy that came over her. ‘Gold,’ said Calvin, his voice shaky. ‘Must be a whole but it did not yield. She did not mind. It was seldom that
was becoming more unpleasant because of neighbor Calvin lay upon the ground, panting. Finally he gained pound of it...and just for a measly flashlight. They must be she had time to idle away. Usually when Calvin went to
Nord’s hints that some kind of payment for the water control of himself. Under ordinary circumstances, Calvin did crazy down there.’ town, he burdened her with chores that were to be done
would only be fair. not converse with Dora but now he seemed eager to talk. He thrust the gold bar into his pocket and opened the during his absence, coupling each order with a threat of
Several feet back from the edge of the hole, ‘You know what happened down there?’ he said in a shaky small piece of parchment. One side was closely covered with what awaited her should his instructions not be carried out.
Calvin had driven a heavy iron stake into the ground, voice. a fine writing. Calvin turned it this way and that and then Dora waited another half hour before tugging at the line
and to this was attached a crude rope ladder. The rope ‘You know what happened? The complete bottom dropped tossed it on the ground. again. This time there was a sharp answering jerk, and
ladder had become necessary when the hole had right out of the hole. All of a sudden it went, and there I was, ‘Foreigners,’ he said. ‘No wonder they ain’t got any sense. Dora began hauling the bucket upward. It seemed much
reached a depth well beyond the length of any wooden standing on nothing but air. If I hadn’t grabbed a hold of the But it’s plain they need flashlights.’ heavier now, and twice she had to pause for a rest. When
ladder Calvin owned. last rung of the ladder... Why, that hole must be a thousand ‘But, Calvin,’ said Dora. ‘How could they get down there? the bucket reached the surface, she saw why it was
Calvin hoped desperately that he would not have to feet the way the bottom dropped out of it!’ There ain’t any mines in this part of the country.’ heavier.
go much further. He estimated that he was now down

1
Hey, You Down There by Harold Rolseth
‘My goodness,’ she murmured as she viewed the She sat down again to enjoy the luxury of doing nothing. Down went the oil drum, the cable screeching shrilly as it Calvin put his gun in the oil drum and pushed it to the
dozen or so yellow metal bars in the bucket. When, an hour later, she picked up the line, there was an passed over the rod above the hole. Calvin got an oil can center of the hole. Then, hanging on to the cable, he
‘They must be real hungry down there!’ A sheet of immediate response from below. The bucket was exceedingly from the truck and applied oil generously to the rod and cable. carefully lowered himself into the drum.
the strange parchment was also in the bucket, and heavy this time, and she was fearful that the line might break. In a very short while the cable went slack and Calvin stopped ‘Give me just one hour to run those dirty rats down,
Dora picked it out expecting to see the strange writing She was dizzy with fatigue when she finally hauled the bucket the winch. ‘I’ll give them an hour to load up the gold,’ he said then bring me back up,’ he said. Dora threw the switch and
of the first note. over to the edge of the hole. This time there were several and went to the kitchen for his delayed breakfast. the oil drum went down. When the cable slackened, she
‘Well, I declare,’ she said when she saw that the dozen bars of gold in it and a brief note in the same precise Dora was almost numb with fear. What would happen stopped the winch. She spent most of the next hour
note was in English. It was in the same print as the lettering as before. when the flashlights came back up, with an insulting note in praying that Calvin would not find the people down there
dictionary, and each letter had been made with English, was too horrible to contemplate. Calvin would learn and become a murderer.
meticulous care. She read the note slowly, shaping about the gold she had received and very likely kill her. Exactly an hour later, Dora started the oil drum upward.
each word with her lips as she read. Our scientists are of the opinion that the Calvin ate his breakfast leisurely. Dora busied herself with The motor labored mightily as though under a tremendous
flesh you sent down is that of a creature household tasks, trying with all her might to cast out of her strain, and the cable seemed stretched almost to breaking
Your language is barbaric, but the you call chicken. This is the supreme mind the terrible thing which was soon to happen. Finally point.
food. Never have we eaten anything so
crude code book you sent down made it
delicious. To show our appreciation we are Calvin glanced at the wall clock, yawned widely, and tapped Dora gasped when the oil drum came into view. Calvin
easy for our scholars to decipher it. out his pipe. Ignoring Dora, he went out to the hole. In spite of was not in it! She shut off the motor and hastened to the
We, too, wonder about you. How have sending you a bonus payment. Your code
you overcome the problem of living in book indicates that there is a larger her terrible fear, Dora could not resist following him. It was as drum, half expecting to find Calvin crouching down inside.
creature similar to chicken called turkey.
the deadly light? Our Legends tell of
Send us turkey immediately. I repeat, send if some power outside herself forced her to go. But Calvin was not there. Instead there were scores of
a race dwelling on the surface but The winch was already reeling the cable when she got to gold bars and on top of them a sheet of the familiar white
intelligent reasoning has made us us turkey immediately.
ridicule these old tales until now. We Glar, THE MASTER the hole. It seemed only seconds before the oil drum was up. parchment.
would still doubt that you are The grin on Calvin’s face was broad as he reached out over ‘Land sakes,’ Dora said, as she took in a full view of the
surface-dwellers except for the fact the hole and dragged the drum to the edge. A look of utter drum’s contents. She had no idea of the value of the
that our instruments show without
question that the opening above us disbelief replaced the grin as he looked into it. His Adam’s treasure upon which she gazed.
‘Land sakes,’ gasped Dora. ‘They must have eaten that
leads to the deadly light. The clumsy apple seemed to vibrate under his red-skinned throat, and She only knew it must be immense. Carefully, she
death ray which you sent us indicates chicken raw. Now where in tarnation would I get a turkey?’
once again part of Dora’s mind tried to recall what it was that reached down and picked out the note, which she read in
that your scientific development is She buried the gold bars in another part of her petunia bed.
Calvin reminded her of. Calvin was making flat, bawling her slow, precise way.
very low. Other than as an object from Calvin returned about ten o’clock the next morning. His
another race it has no value to us. We sounds like a lost calf. He hauled the drum out of the hole and
eyes were bloodshot and his face was a mottled red. The
sent gold as a courtesy payment only. dumped its contents on the ground. The flashlights, many of ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The food you call bread is not loose folds of skin on his neck hung lower than usual and Not even the exquisite flavor of the
them dented and with lenses broken, made a sizeable pile.
acceptable to our digestive systems, more than ever he reminded Dora of something that she chicken compares to the incomparable
but the ham is beyond price. It is With a tremendous kick Calvin sent flashlights flying in all
couldn’t quite put a name to. Calvin stepped down from the goodness of the live turkey you sent
obviously the flesh of some creature, directions. One, with a note attached, landed at Dora’s feet. down to us. We must confess that we
and we will exchange a double weight truck and Dora cringed, but he seemed too tired and
Either Calvin was so blinded by rage that he didn’t see it, or thought turkey would be rather different
of gold for all that you can send us. preoccupied to bother with her. He surveyed the hole glumly, from this, but this does not matter. So
Send more immediately. Also send a he assumed it was written in the same unreadable script as
then got into the truck and backed it to the edge of the mound delicious was the turkey that we are
concise history of your race and the first note. again sending you a bonus payment. We
arrange for your best scientists, such of earth. On the back of the truck was a winch with a large
‘You down there!’ he screamed into the hole. ‘You filthy beg you to send us more turkey
as they are, to communicate with us. drum of steel cable. immediately.
swine! I’ll fix you. I’ll make you sorry you ever double-crossed
Glar , THE MASTER ‘Fix me something to eat,’ he ordered Dora. Glar, THE MASTER
me. I’ll... I’ll...’
Dora hurried into the house and began preparing ham and
He dashed for the house and Dora hastily snatched up the
Dora took the gold bars to her petunia bed beside eggs. Each moment she expected Calvin to come in and
note.
the house and buried them in the loose black soil. She demand to know, with a few blows, what was holding up his
meal. But Calvin seemed very busy in the vicinity of the hole. Dora read the note a second time to make sure she
paid no heed to the sound of a car coming down the understood it fully.
highway at high speed until it passed the house and a When Dora went out to call him to eat, she found he had
done a surprising amount of work. He had attached an oil You are even more stupid than we thought. ‘Well, I declare,’ she said in considerable wonder. ‘I do
wild squawking sounded above the roar of the motor. Your clumsy death rays are useless to us. declare.’
She hurried around to the front of the house, knowing drum to the steel cable. This hung over a heavy steel rod We informed you of this. We want turkey.
already what had happened. She stared in dismay at which rested across the hole. Stakes driven into the ground Send us turkey immediately.
the four chickens which lay dead in the road. She knew on each side of the hole held the rod in place. Glar, THE MASTER
that Calvin would blame her and beat her into ‘Your breakfast is ready, Calvin,’ said Dora.
unconsciousness. ‘Shut up,’ Calvin answered.
Fear sharpened her wits. Perhaps if she could The winch was driven by an electric motor, and Calvin ran She crumpled the note quickly as Calvin cam from the
dispose of the bodies, Calvin would think foxes had got a cable from the motor to an electric outlet on the yard light house with his double-barreled shotgun. For a moment, Dora
them. Hastily she gathered up the dead chickens and post. From the cab he took a number of boxes and placed thought that he knew everything and was about to kill her.
feathers which lay scattered about. When she was them in the oil drum. ‘Please, Calvin,’ she said.
finished, there was no evidence of the disaster. She ‘A whole hundred of them,’ he chuckled, more to himself ‘Shut up,’ said Calvin 'You saw me work the winch. Can
carried the chickens to the back of the house than to Dora. ‘Fifty-nine cents a piece. Peanuts... one bar of you do it?’
wondering how she could best dispose of them. gold will buy thousands.’ ‘Why, yes, but what...?’
Suddenly, as she glanced towards the hole, the answer Calvin threw the switch which controlled the winch, and ‘Listen to me. I’m going down there to fix those dirty
came to her. with sickening force Dora realized the terrible thing that would foreigners. You send me down and bring me up.’ He seized
An hour later the four chickens were dressed and soon happen. The creatures down below had no use or Dora by the shoulder. ‘And if you mess things up, I’ll fix you
neatly cut up. Ignoring the other instructions in the note, regard for flashlights. too! I’ll really and truly fix you.’ Dora nodded dumbly.
she sent the bulky parcel of chicken down into the hole.