Photo credit: Sangita Adhikari, Senior Program Officer | BRIGE, Mercy Corps, Nepal

Household Dialogue Toolkit

Training manual, best practices, and guidance
for implementing the Household Dialogue
activity
MAY 2018
Acknowledgements
This toolkit represents the committed work of a multi-disciplinary team from Nepal, Niger, and the United
States. First and foremost, we thank our collaborating program teams, the Linking Financial and Social
Capital to Enhance Resilience of Agro-Pastoral Communities (LEAP) Program in Niger and the Managing
Risk through Economic Development (M-RED) Program and Earthquake Recovery Program (ERP) in Nepal
for their dedication and commitment to pilot the Household Dialogue through their programs. We also
recognize all of the field agents, facilitators, and supervisors who made the pilots a great success. Special
thanks go to consultant Bishnu Bahadur Khatri, who adapted the approach for Nepal, led the facilitators’
training, and created the first version of the training manual. Thank you to our colleagues at the International
Food Policy Research Institute (IFPRI), Sophie Theis and Elizabeth Bryan, for their invaluable input and
work on the household decision-making tool. Sincere thanks to consultant Anna James, who edited,
compiled, and standardized this toolkit for broad dissemination. Finally, our most important thanks goes to
the Nepali and Nigerien families who participated in the Household Dialogue pilot activity and are dedicated
to inclusiveness in their homes and communities.

Audrey Anderson BRIGE Program Director

Nikunja Nepal, Parbati Khadka, Sangita Adhikari, and Chetana Panthi BRIGE Nepal Team
Aichatou Djimrao, Fati Garba, Rebecca Inman, and Anaïs Celestino Vibranovski BRIGE Niger Team

Recommended citation: Mercy Corps (2018). Household Dialogue Toolkit. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 2

Table of Contents
Preface 4

I. Overview of Household Dialogue Activity 6

II. Best Practices 11

III. Household Dialogue Training Manual 18

IV. Facilitator Training Sessions 66

V. Household decision-making tool 81

VI. Case Studies 90

Annex 1. Facilitator Training Agenda Example 93

Annex 2. Household Action Plan 102

Annex 3. Weekly Progress Monitoring 103

Annex 4. Evaluating Household Decisions 105

Annex 5. Gender-based Violence Definitions 108

Annex 6. Gender-based Violence Referral Sheets 110

Annex 7. Additional Gender-based Violence Resources 115

Annex 8. How to write success stories 116

Annex 9. Photo to use in gender session 117

Acronyms
BRIGE Building Resilience through the Integration of Gender and Empowerment
DRR Disaster Risk Reduction
ERP Earthquake Recovery Program
GBV Gender-based Violence
IFPRI International Food Policy Research Institute
KAP Knowledge, Attitudes and Practice
LEAP Linking Financial and Social Capital to Enhance Resilience of Agro-Pastoral Communities
M-RED Managing Risk through Economic Development
UNDP United Nations Development Programme
UNFPA United Nations Population Fund
VLSA Village Loan and Savings Associations
WOREC Women’s Rehabilitation Center

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 3

Preface
The purpose of this Household Dialogue toolkit is to provide clear implementation
guidance for organizations to strengthen their overall programming approaches
through addressing gender norms at the household level through dialogue, leading to
more inclusive decision-making and sharing of household responsibilities.
In the diverse countries where Mercy Corps operates, natural disasters, shocks and recurring crises can
reinforce inequalities, making difficult situations even worse for marginalized groups. Women and youth
often face additional barriers that render them uniquely vulnerable to shocks and stresses. In many places,
male family members hold primary decision-making power within the household. From a young age, girls’
desire to access information, attend school, delay marriage, and delay first pregnancy is discounted—they
are not allowed an opinion on the direction of their lives. As they transition into adulthood, they continue to
be excluded from important decisions regarding ownership of land, property or livestock. 1 They have little to
no input on financial matters, and often even their own healthcare is out of their control. Paradoxically,
women and girls are responsible for caring for their families, yet are excluded from critical decisions that
impact their family’s well-being.

To address this, Mercy Corps’ Household Dialogue activity brings together male and female family members
(usually couples) to talk about inclusive decision-making processes and sharing of household
responsibilities. Mercy Corps believes that households in which women’s and young people’s voices are
heard, and family members contribute equitably, are better equipped to learn, cope, adapt and transform in
the face of shocks and stresses (i.e., resilience). Recent research in Nepal and Niger found that this
Household Dialogue activity successfully shifts household behaviors regarding decision-making and
distribution of household work, which supports increased household and community resilience.2 While this
approach was specifically tested in resilience-focused programs, the Household Dialogue activity can be
applied in any development program to unlock the benefits of other program activities for women
through addressing socio-cultural norms that prevent women’s participation in household and
community decision-making and in activities outside the home. Women and girls are powerful forces
for recovery and resilience, and it is our hope that this toolkit will help bring families together to create
transformative change.

“For us, [Household] Dialogue is the magical touch. When we go the

field and we speak to those who have been part of the [Household]
Dialogue, and they talk about the changes that have been applied in their
lives, we think: why not in our families? We never imagined a simple
training could be so powerful.”
— Nepal M-RED II Program Kailali District Coordinator

1
James, A. (2018) Girls Improving Resilience through Livestock. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps.

2
Ho, R. and Ragazzi, C. (2018) Priming Resilience through Household Dialogue. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 4

How to use this toolkit
This toolkit provides information on Mercy Corps’ approach to building resilience through gender integration
and shares user-friendly tools for implementing the Household Dialogue activity, which aims strengthen
inclusive decision-making and sharing of household responsibilities through an approach that emphasizes
positive change and family harmony. Section 1 provides an overview of Mercy Corps’ BRIGE (Building
Resilience through the Integration of Gender and Empowerment) Program and its Household Dialogue
activity. Section 2 focuses on best practices—that is, how to successfully implement, monitor, and evaluate
the activity. Section 3 focuses on the content of trainings for participants; the Household Dialogue Training
Manual provides step-by-step instructions on how to facilitate the major discussion topics and user-friendly
tools that can be used. Section 4 focuses on the content of trainings for facilitators and required materials.
Section 5 includes a household decision-making tool developed by the International Food Policy Research
Institute (IFPRI). Section 6 highlights successes from Nepal and Niger where Mercy Corps piloted the
Household Dialogue activity. At the end, you will find annexes with worksheets and additional resources to
support your efforts.

This toolkit is meant for any programs that seek to strengthen the impact of their approaches through gender
integration and women’s empowerment. It is designed to be used by field teams who would like to
implement the Household Dialogue activity in their community programs. It can be used by people who do
not have a gender or resilience background, or those who already have experience but are looking for new
approaches. We hope that you will be able to take these tools, adapt them to meet your specific needs and
successfully integrate them into your programs!

Additional versions of this toolkit, included editable files, are available upon request for your active use.

A husband and wife from

Baitadi district, Nepal,
work together to process
maize — work that women
were primarily tasked with
prior to the Household
Dialogue activity. Now, the
family shares the
responsibility.
Photo credit: Hem Raj Bhatta, Baitadi District
Coordinator | M-RED II, Mercy Corps, Nepal

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 5

I. Overview of Household Dialogue Activity
Background on BRIGE
The Building Resilience through the Integration of Gender and Empowerment (BRIGE) Program, launched
in 2015, was designed to explore the complex intersection of gender and resilience, both in theory and in
practice. This 2-year program built upon Mercy Corps’ efforts to strengthen household and community
resilience by increasing the organization’s capacity and that of the broader development community to better
respond to gender-specific needs and vulnerabilities during complex and chronic crises. The aim of BRIGE
was to empower women, youth, and other marginalized groups as agents of resilience, therefore increasing
the coping capacities of households and communities to manage the impacts of natural disasters and
climate-related shocks and stresses.

BRIGE partnered with Mercy Corps’ resilience-focused programs in Nepal, Indonesia, and Niger to improve
gender integration through three distinct phases:

1. Assess: BRIGE conducted gender assessments of the partner programs and reviewed program
structure to identify critical areas of gender integration.

2. Act: Based on gender assessment findings, BRIGE facilitated the development and implementation
of gender action plans. BRIGE team members piloted approaches to improve gender integration
and strengthen the capacity of program staff through trainings.

3. Learn: BRIGE consolidated learnings from research and implementation, of which this toolkit is a
part, to inform Mercy Corps’ and peer organizations’ overall approach to resilience.

Through the gender assessment process (Phase 1), Mercy Corps identified key gaps to address through
gender action plans (Phase 2). In three programs across Nepal and Niger, women’s participation in
equitable decision-making was identified as a critical gender gap to building resilience. The Household
Dialogue activity was initially piloted in one program in Niger and adapted for two programs in Nepal:

TABLE 1: HOUSEHOLD DIALOGUE PILOT PROGRAMS AND LOCATIONS

Program Country Specific locations Number of participants

Linking Financial and Social Niger 8 villages within the Fillingué Approximately 25 couples
Capital to Enhance Resilience of and Ouallam departments in the per village (400
Agro-Pastoral Communities region of Tillaberi participants total)
(LEAP)

Managing Risk through Economic Nepal Kailali, Kanchanpur, Baitadi, and

Development (M-RED) Phase 2 Dadeldhura districts in the Far Over 500 households
Western Region (1,000+ participants total)

Earthquake Recovery Program Nepal Kavrepalanchowk,

(ERP) Sindhupalchowk, and Dolakha
districts in the Central Region

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 6

BRIGE strengthened gender integration and social inclusion processes in these programs by conducting
focused data collection, piloting activities and strengthening program staff’s capacities. Across countries,
intersecting identities (e.g., gender, age, ethnicity, caste, location, etc.) greatly affect the degree to which
people have access to education, services, and market systems. The BRIGE program used this lens in its
programming to ensure we reached the most vulnerable groups.

Purpose of the Household Dialogue activity

The goal of the Household Dialogue activity is to strengthen inclusive decision-making at the household
level, such that women have the confidence, respect, and time to participate in household and community
decisions and in activities outside the home. The Household Dialogue activity takes a “family harmony”
approach (as opposed to focusing on women’s oppression). The activity brings together male and female
household members (usually married couples) to participate in positive, participatory activities centered on
financial decision-making processes, sharing of household responsibilities, and household disaster response
plans. Increased dialogue helps families make more informed decisions about their finances and division of
labor, which allows them to be better prepared to deal with shocks and stresses.

Timeline of core activities

The Household Dialogue pilots engaged communities for a period of approximately 3–10 months. However,
based on our research 3, we recommend that programs engage families for approximately two years. Keep in
mind, the Household Dialogue activity is meant to be integrated into a larger program. It is most beneficial to
conduct the activity near the beginning of the program, so that the benefits extend to support the full
program.

It is recommended to collect baseline data on household decision-making and workload-sharing (see

Section V for suggestions) before implementing the training. The Household Dialogue activity begins with a
four-day training for about 25 couples per community (multiple sessions may be conducted for large
communities). Typically these couples are a husband and wife, with occasional exceptions (e.g., if family
members are absent due to migration, illness, etc.). Depending on the context, the initial sessions of the
Household Dialogue activity can be conducted separately for men and women, or together. However, for the
final two days, it is critical that women and men come together to have a dialogue. Following the training,
facilitators conduct regular follow-up visits to provide counseling and coaching as families implement their
action plans. In Nepal, facilitators visited each house every week over the course of six weeks. During the
visits, facilitators complete progress reports and an evaluation of household decision-making behavior.
Then, facilitators compile data and submit a report to the program administrator (see Annexes 3, 4).

After at least six coaching visits, participants may attend a one-day workshop to share the changes they
have experienced in their families. This interactive, celebratory event is filled with speeches, games, and
prizes. It allows participants learn by teaching, and engage the wider community in the activity.

3
Ho, R. and Ragazzi, C. (2018) Priming Resilience through Household Dialogue. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 7

TABLE 2: SAMPLE TIMELINE OF KEY ACTIVITIES WITHIN TWO-YEAR PROGRAM PERIOD

Activity Year 1 Year 2

Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4

Preparation: Identify target areas, contextualize

curriculum, begin community mobilization

Facilitator Recruitment and Training: Recruit skilled

facilitators and conduct 5-day training

Participant Recruitment: Identify and recruit

community participants

Baseline data: Collect baseline data with

participating households communities on household
decision-making and chore-sharing

Household Dialogue training: Conduct 4-day

community training with participants

Follow-up: Conduct regular follow-up and coaching

with participating families as they seek to turn their
learning into action

Additional activities: Conduct Learning Days,

Religious Leaders Training, Economic Support, etc.

Refresher: Conduct refresher training or Learning

Day to reignite commitment to change

Data collection: Collect data on household decision-

making and workload-sharing at several points
following the initial training

Estimated cost
The cost of implementing the Household Dialogue activity will vary among countries, depending on the local
context and the number of households, and therefore the number of facilitators needed. Mercy Corps
recommends using two facilitators for each Household Dialogue training; it is too difficult for a single person
to effectively conduct these trainings. There are several budget areas that you will want to include.
Examples include: conducting training for facilitators, salary for facilitators, salary for supervisors,
transportation, initial training for participants, celebratory learning days, and physical materials necessary to
carry out these tasks. However, the total cost per beneficiary is reasonable: the Nepal team estimated USD
17–26 per person, in addition to program staff time.4

4
This figure was calculated for an approach reaching approximately 1,000-5,000 total participants. The figure is inclusive of conducting the
training-of-trainers for the facilitators, salary for facilitators and supervisors, community-level trainings and debriefing sessions, and materials.
Following the initial training, facilitators and supervisors may double as full-time program staff, which would maximize program impact and
further reduce overall costs.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 8

Potential add-on activities
Learning Days
Following the completion of the Household Dialogue activity, we recommend holding Learning Days in each
village to celebrate participants’ accomplishments and share learnings with the community. Facilitators
explain the goals of the Household Dialogue activity, and how they were achieved. Household Dialogue
participants share their experiences (e.g., what they learned, what behaviors have changed, etc.) through
skits and songs. Lastly, facilitators lead a “Question and Answer” game, where community members can
demonstrate their knowledge and win small symbolic prizes. In Niger, staff observed active community
participation in Learning Days, which is attributed to influential community members' involvement and
engaging facilitators.

Religious and Traditional Leaders Training

In many countries, local religious and traditional leaders are important gatekeepers and influential members
of the community. It can be critical to train these leaders on the importance of gender equity and
collaborative decision-making because they have the power to affirm to the community that these new
messages are aligned with the local religion and customs. This support can be essential for project success.
In Niger, BRIGE designed a three-day training for local religious and traditional leaders, which was facilitated
by a Nigerien Islamic scholar. This participatory workshop included knowledge and tools to promote gender
equitable messages in their communities. Research in Niger confirmed that coherence between the
messages of the Household Dialogue activity and those of the religious leaders was essential to achieve the
intended behavior change. 5

Income-generating activities
The Household Dialogue activity aims to foster
dialogue that leads to inclusive decision-making
and sharing of household responsibilities. This, in
turn, can free up women’s time and allow them to
be active outside of the home; for example,
through community groups or income-generating
activities. We recommend supporting
entrepreneurship or market linkage opportunities
throughout the Household Dialogue activity. This
requires analyzing which potential opportunities
are available to women and other marginalized
groups given their interests. Conducting a market
assessment would ensure that community In Dolakha district, Nepal, BRIGE provided
members are able to sell whatever goods they economic support to Household Dialogue
produce. Once opportunities are identified, it is participants for beekeeping following the activity.
important to provide the necessary skills training Photo credit: Anil Shrestha, Program Supervisor | BRIGE, Mercy Corps, Nepal

and economic support for participants to start their

5
Doka, M. (2017) The Dyamics of Household and Financial Decision-making. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 9

businesses. Staff members must conduct regular monitoring and evaluation, and provide consultation as
necessary. For examples of these successful activities, see section VI.

Expected outcomes of the Household Dialogue activity

After participating in the Household Dialogue activity, we expect that families take action to promote more
equitable division of household responsibilities and more inclusive decision-making among family members.
Women will be better prepared to participate in important family discussions and household and community
decisions. Research in Nepal and Niger showed that, as a result of the Household Dialogue activity, key
gender norms at the household level begin to shift: men’s respect for women and their opinions increased,
women’s confidence in their own abilities and value increased, men began to participate more in household
chores, and men’s respect for women and value of their opinions increased. This, in turn, led to women’s
improved participation in household and community decisions and in activities outside the home. 6 In Nepal,
women’s increased participation manifested in women taking more meaningful roles in community disaster
risk management committees and income-generating activities. In Niger, women had more decision-making
power over household expenditures and were able to ensure that the food purchased for the household was
nutritious and aligned with family needs.7

“After two days of the workshop I can assure you that my husband really
changed the way he behaves towards me. He started to give me money to pay
the mill charges so I don’t need to pound it with my own hands. As a
consequence, I spend less time with housework activities than I used to spend
before, so I can go to the local market and sell the oil that my husband buys
when he travels. And it doesn’t stop here! We have also started to discuss
more about financial issues and he started to give me pocket money for
covering some of our family basic expenses. I am very happy with all this
changing as I am now living a new life! I hope that this behavior change in
our community will continue in the long-term.”
— Female participant in the Household Dialogue from Banne Beri, Niger

6
Ho, R. and Ragazzi, C. (2018) Priming Resilience through Household Dialogue. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps.

7
Ibid.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 10

II. Best Practices
Adapt Household Dialogue content to your country’s context
The Household Dialogue activity can be adapted in several ways to fit your country’s context. First, trainings
should be conducted in a culturally appropriate manner. For example, in Nepal, men and women
participated in the 4-day training together, while in Niger the training was conducted separately for men and
women for the first two days, and together for the next two days. In Niger, it was important to hire female
facilitators for the women’s groups. Second, if appropriate, religious and traditional leaders can be engaged
to strengthen the activity’s messages. In Niger, the Religious Leaders Training was integral to the success of
the activity, because community members look to traditional and religious leaders for confirmation that
program activities are aligned with the teachings of Islam. Third, the timing of the activity can be adjusted
according to the context. In many countries, it is critical to consider the seasonality of activities and how
different seasons impact decision-making within households. Lastly, Household Dialogue activities can be
adapted to increase the capacities of households and communities to manage the impacts of natural
disasters and climate-related shocks and stresses. For example, in Nepal, activities focused strongly on
disaster preparedness and disaster risk reduction.

Bring men and women participants together to engage in

dialogue
Depending on your country's context, you can conduct the initial sessions of the Household Dialogue activity
separately for men and women, or together. For the final two days, it is essential that women and men are
brought together to engage in dialogue. Successful approaches for Niger and Nepal are described below:

1) For the first two days, men and women work separately with trained facilitators to discuss and learn
about division of labor, roles and responsibilities, decision-making and power dynamics. This
participatory approach helps the group discover how behaviors are often dictated by culture and
society, and to understand that gender is a social construction that can change over time. During
the final two days, men and women come together to discuss their findings and develop a
household-level action plan for behavior change.

2) Men and women participate in all of the above sessions together. This approach was successful in
Nepal.

Allow adequate time for planning, implementation, monitoring

and evaluation
The initial 4-day training workshop with participants is one of the most critical components of the Household
Dialogue activity. These workshops require targeted effort in terms of time and human resources. One 4-day
workshop for up to 25 couples requires at least two facilitators (ideally one woman and one man). The
duration of these workshops should not be reduced, or the number of participants expanded, as this may
sacrifice the quality of the activity.

The Household Dialogue activity aims to create profound behavior change, which takes time and should not
be rushed. We recommend that staff observe, compare and analyze household’s behaviors over a period of

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 11

two years to truly understand the activity’s impact. This recommended timeline is due in part to the different
challenges experienced by families throughout the year. For example, household food security decisions in
Niger depend on the season (e.g., dry season vs. rainy season), and it is critical to be able to observe how
families adapt their decision-making based on the time of year.

Recruit mature, experienced facilitators who are familiar with

the context
The sensitive content of the Household Dialogue activity necessitates the recruitment of experienced and
mature staff to facilitate trainings and coach participants. Facilitators should have 10–20 years of field
experience related to social mobilization and behavior change. They should be comfortable addressing
sensitive subjects related to social inclusion, decision-making and power dynamics. These facilitators use
their experience to build trust among participants, convey new information, and share strategies for behavior
change. Take the time to develop a detailed Scope of Work for facilitators to ensure that you hire the right
people and, during recruitment, look for candidates who display important “soft” skills such as empathy,
emotional maturity, social perceptiveness, and patience, as well as progressive gender-equitable attitudes.
Facilitators must believe in and enact the core concepts of the Household Dialogue activity in their own lives
if they are to deliver the curriculum with any credibility or authority. This is key to the success of the activity.

Facilitators must understand the culture and language of the communities in which the activity is
implemented. For example, in the Far Western region of Nepal there are dialects which only people from the
surrounding area understand. Ideally, the facilitators should come from nearby towns or villages, but not the
same community. Often, there will be existing biases towards people from the same community, which can
impact the facilitators’ credibility.

Depending on the local context, it is important to recruit at least 50% female facilitators, so that they can
hold one-on-one conversations with female participants. For example, during follow-up visits to the
household, it can be useful to meet individually with women first, and then with the couple together. This can
help address situations in which women do not feel comfortable expressing their true opinion or experience
in front of their husbands.

Invest in conducting a comprehensive, 5-day training for

facilitators
This 5-day training provides facilitators with the skills they need to conduct meaningful discussions with
participants about inclusive decision-making and sharing of household responsibilities. Facilitators are
trained to identify constraints to these goals and help families create action plans to address these
challenges. The first three days of the training are focused on the Household Dialogue activity content.
Topics include: basic gender topics, household activity clocks, how patriarchy harms women and men, and
creating household budgets. The last two days of the training focus on facilitation techniques and how to
best deliver the content to communities (see section IV). To be effective, we recommend limiting the group
size to no more than 15–20 facilitators per training-of-trainers session.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 12

Deliberately target and recruit participants with respect to their
influence and need
As men and women become more aware of the gender norms that constrain their actions, couples will seek
to change these dynamics to improve their wellbeing, and that of their families. Equitable decision-making
between a husband and wife can prepare households to be more resilient to climate and ecological shocks
and stresses, specifically by adopting financially resilient behaviors, including increased savings and better
use of formalized banking structures (e.g., loans and savings accounts). By targeting couples, and including
both men and women in the Household Dialogue activity, we can ensure that both parties understand the
reasons for, and are committed to behavior changes.

The Household Dialogue involves one male and

one female from each family (ideally a husband
and wife). If a woman's husband is unavailable
(e.g., due to migration, etc.), another male family
member can participate. In these cases, the
father-in-law, brother-in-law, or sons above 18
years old are all possibilities. Regardless, it is
important to ensure that the male family member
who participates has influence over household
decisions. If there are no men in the household, a
mother-in-law, or mother, or another woman
head-of-household can participate; however, this
should be your last option. In cases of polygamy,
we recommend that the husband and all wives
participate in the training. Each wife should Household Dialogue participants in
develop a separate action plan which they Kavrepalanchowk district, Nepal, work together in
discuss with their husband. their garden.
Photo credit: Ezra Millstein, Senior Content Producer | Mercy Corps

Deliberate targeting of influential community

members for the Household Dialogue activity can
produce a spillover effect where even non-participants begin to change behaviors. These “thought leaders”
must be seen as role-models within the community, so that others will begin to copy the new behaviors. For
example, in Niger, “thought leaders” are usually couples in which the husband is young (under 40 years old)
and the male children are not married. Targeting couples who share the same dwelling unit as other couples
in the same family also has a positive spillover effect. In this context, when a man changes his behaviors at
home, social pressure can lead to other husbands changing their behaviors.

Recruit participants via community leaders and existing

organizations
In Nepal and Niger, participation in the Household Dialogue activity was voluntary, and often families self-
selected to take part in the activity. Community leaders and gatekeepers were also helpful in recruiting
potential participants. For example, in Nepal, village leaders recommended families who were struggling
with alcohol abuse or gender-based violence. In Niger, Mercy Corps staff utilized Village Loan and Savings

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 13

Associations (VLSAs) to recruit participants for the Household Dialogue activity. Staff asked women from the
VLSAs to identify 25 women according to their availability and that of their husbands.

Working with local partners can provide the opportunity to leverage these organizations’ deep knowledge of
local community dynamics. In Nepal, local organizations effectively selected which families were most in
need of the Household Dialogue activity.

Experiences in Nepal and Niger highlight several potential recruitment strategies to ensure the activity is
reaching the most vulnerable and marginalized families. Depending on the context, these strategies may
include:

1) Recruit persons who most need the training (as identified by community leaders or community-
based organizations).

2) Recruit persons with the greatest potential to influence others in the community.

3) Recruit persons who are motivated to change (e.g., those who volunteer).

In all cases, engage with community leaders to identify which recruitment strategy to take and how to
identify and recruit participants.

Be flexible about timing

Flexibility is critical when conducting the training for participants. It would be ideal if people could devote 5
hours a day, for 4 days in a row, but often this is not feasible. For example, in Nepal there is still a lot of
reconstruction taking place following the April 2015 earthquake, which is often attached to strict deadlines.
Because of this, the training was spread over several days and only required participants to devote 2–3
hours per day. Being conscientious of people’s availability and flexible about the timing of the training will
allow more community members to participate, while still fulfilling their other responsibilities.

Major discussion topics

This section of the toolkit presents the actual guidance and lessons for implementing the core training. Each
session within the Household Dialogue Training Manual addresses an important topic to increase inclusive
decision-making and the sharing of household responsibilities. In addition, there are several sessions you
can use to train Household Dialogue facilitators. Below is an overview of the topics covered in the included
training session guides:

Training sessions for participants

• Session 1: Introduction

• Session 2: Gender

• Session 3: Socialization and negative social norms/superstitions

• Session 4: Patriarchal ideology and discrimination

• Session 5: Gender-based violence

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 14

• Session 6: Division of household roles and responsibilities

• Session 7: Joint household decisions

• Session 8: Household financial management and family plans

• Session 9: Potential disasters, disaster management, and family preparedness

• Session 10: Family harmony and household action plans

Training sessions for facilitators

• Session 1: Learning exchange, training methods, and materials

• Session 2: Preparation and management of the learning process

• Session 3: Roles and qualities of household dialogue facilitators

• Session 4: Training session plans

• Session 5: How to facilitate sensitive topics such as gender-based violence (GBV)

• Session 6: How to refer gender-based violence (GBV) survivors

Tools and worksheets used for trainings

Below is a list of tools and worksheets that facilitators may use with participants before, during, and after the
Household Dialogue training.

1) Household roles and responsibilities analysis worksheet: analyzes the daily activities and roles and
responsibilities of family members (see page 41).

2) Household decision-making exercise worksheet: analyzes which family members make specific
decisions within the household (see page 50).

3) Family access and control analysis worksheet: analyzes access and control within families (see
page 51).

4) Creating a household budget: analyzes the family's income, expenditure and savings (see page 57).

5) Training agenda example (see Annex 1): provides a sample agenda that was used for the 5-day
training of facilitators. Staff may adapt this to their context and use as a basis for a Facilitators’
training, and it also provides a rough guide that could be adapted for the 4-day Household Dialogue
activity itself.

6) Household action plan worksheet (see Annex 2): helps families create an action plan to implement
their learnings from the Household Dialogue activity.

7) Weekly progress monitoring worksheet (see Annex 3): assists facilitators in collecting monitoring
data during their weekly follow-up visits.

8) Evaluating household decisions worksheet (see Annex 4): assists facilitators in evaluating the
process of decision-making within families during weekly follow-up visits.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 15

Timing
Ideally, the Household Dialogue activity would take place over 4 days, for approximately 5 hours a day.
However, this is often not feasible because of participants’ other responsibilities. In these cases, the training
could be spread over several additional days, with participants committing 2–3 hours a day. A sample
training agenda is included in Annex 1 and can be modified depending on your specific context. It is critical
to be flexible with how the training is structured so that both male and female community members are able
to attend, while still fulfilling their other responsibilities.

Husband and wife participating in the

Household Dialogue training together in
Kavrepalanchowk, Nepal.
Photo credit: Parbati Khadka, Senior Program Officer | BRIGE, Mercy Corps,
Nepal

Host Learning Days to foster community engagement

Learning Days are an opportunity for facilitators to
educate community members about the Household
Dialogue activity, for participants to share their
accomplishments, and for the wider community to
engage with the activity. In Niger, communities
were very receptive to the interactive and
celebratory nature of the Learning Days, in which
participants performed songs and skits to share
important messages. There was broad
engagement and interest among community
members—even couples who were not targeted by
the project shared experiences related to behavior
change in decision-making processes. Learning
Days in Niger also provided an opportunity for
traditional and religious leaders to share what they
learned, and how their learning impacted the A community member shares during Household
community. Dialogue Learning Days in the Tillaberi region of
Niger.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 16

Conduct regular follow-up visits and data collection
We recommend collecting qualitative data on families’ decision-making processes before the Household
Dialogue activity, and throughout the duration of the activity. In several countries, the timing of data
collection will depend on the season because family decisions vary accordingly. For instance, in Niger,
women often have more decision-making power during the dry season (when men migrate), but this is not
necessarily related to joint decision-making behaviors. We recommend that follow-up visits to participants
last for a minimum of 6 months to observe progress related to their action plans and assess changes in
awareness among community members. Ideally, follow-up visits should be spaced no more than 2 months
apart. Facilitators should conduct these visits in pairs (one female and one male), to easily access both
husbands and wives if cultural norms may prevent open communication between sexes. In Nepal, there was
a supervisor and facilitator for each Household Dialogue training, and the facilitator conducted the follow-up
visits to families. You may use the tools and worksheets included in Annexes 3 and 4 for data collection
during follow-up visits.

Educate facilitators on referral mechanisms for gender-based

violence survivors
Gender-based violence is an umbrella term for any harmful act that is perpetrated against a person’s will
and that is based on socially ascribed (i.e., gender) differences between males and females. It includes acts
that inflict physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion, and other
deprivations of liberty. These acts can occur in public or in private. 8 Women and girls can be at particular
risk of gender-based violence. Given the sensitive nature of household dynamics, it is likely that facilitators
may encounter instances where they witness or suspect gender-based violence. Facilitators must be
knowledgeable about the local health, psychosocial, safety, and justice services available to survivors.
Facilitator sensitization on locally available services and reporting mechanisms is critical. Significant time
should be dedicated to these topics during the facilitators’ training so that staff can go into the field prepared
to support survivors by connecting them to the proper services (see Facilitator Training session 6).

Scale the Household Dialogue activity

Several of the recommendations mentioned above will help to achieve a scalable model for the Household
Dialogue activity. Three critical areas to consider include: 1) Using a timeframe of at least two years, ideally
coupled with a broader program, to achieve and evaluate impact; 2) Targeting influential community
members and conducting Learning Days to produce a “spillover effect” within the communities; and 3)
Strengthening engagement with religious and traditional leaders and other gatekeepers so that they become
agents of change within communities.

8
Inter-Agency Standing Committee. 2015. Guidelines for Integrating Gender-Based Violence Interventions in Humanitarian Action: Reducing
risk, promoting resilience and aiding recovery.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 17

III. Household Dialogue Training Manual
Household Dialogue session 1: Introduction
Topics: 1) Introduction; 2) Sharing of participants’ expectations; 3) Setting ground rules for the training; 4)
Sharing responsibilities

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be introduced to each other.

• be able to articulate their expectations from the training.
• create a conducive environment for learning with facilitators.

Training materials: flip-chart paper, white board, markers, a list of potential questions for the introduction
session

Method of facilitation: Sociogram (a visual representation or map of the relationships between individuals),
open discussion

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

For the introduction, follow the steps outlined below.

1) Ask all participants to stand in a circle and share their names.

2) After everyone is standing in a circle, ask participants questions that are relevant to their life
experiences. Then ask those with similar answers to form a group. Examples of questions you can
ask participants include:
• Who has taken part in a gender training before?
• Who has not taken part in any gender trainings before?
• What is gender? (For those who have taken part in a gender training)
• Who here is married? Who is unmarried?
• Who wears makeup? Who doesn’t wear makeup?
• Who here is the head of their household?
• Who is able to make family decisions by themselves?
• Who here has a job? Who doesn’t have a job?
• Who is an entrepreneur?
• Who here generates an income?
• Who here is able to decide how they spend their income?
• Who is the first person in their family to wake up in the morning?
• Who here cooks for the family?
• Who here does the laundry for the family?

3) Ask additional questions to further divide participants into smaller groups. After you have a sufficient
number of smaller groups (4–5 groups, depending on the total number of participants), ask
participants why they are part of their eventual group (i.e. what series of answers got them there).

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 18

This allows participants to share their experiences. The facilitator should build on participants’
experiences to clarify training objectives.

You can leave out some of these questions or add others depending on the participants’ background and
level of understanding. The questions should be relevant to the participants’ lives given the sociocultural
context. This introductory session will help you identify issues to discuss during the training, and gauge
participants’ level of understanding and experiences. At the end of the exercise, ask each participant to
share their name and where they are from.

Participant expectations

Ask participants what they expect to get out of the training, and ask them to write these expectations on the
sticky notes provided. Categorize participants’ expectations into attitudes, knowledge, and skills, and stick
these onto flip-charts under these headings. The facilitator should read aloud everything that the participants
have contributed. If there are certain expectations that cannot be met by the training, address these when
clarifying the objectives of the training. If there are certain expectations that are not directly related to the
training but could be useful, let participants know that those can be discussed at a relevant time in the
future.

Participant contributions

Ask participants what potential contributions they can make during the training (e.g., sharing life
experiences, telling a story, leading a game, sharing a poem or song related to a topic, etc.). All of these
contributions will make the training more participatory. Write down the names of the participants and their
potential contributions, and put the list up in the hall. Ask the remaining participants to add their contributions
to the list, based on their interests and experiences.

Training objectives

Inform participants about the training objectives and outline the schedule for achieving these objectives. Ask
participants for their input on both, and revise as necessary.

Training ground rules

Ask participants to develop ground rules for the facilitator and participants to ensure a successful, respectful
and equitable training. Obtain group consensus and write the ground rules on the flip-chart. Discuss the
daily training schedule with the participants, and write down the final schedule on the flip-chart. Hang both
the ground rules and schedule in a place where they are easily visible to all participants.

Shared responsibilities

To facilitate the training, divide participants into various groups and make each group responsible for a
different task such as daily training management, learning or entertainment. You can add additional groups,
as necessary.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 19

Household Dialogue session 2: Gender
Topics: 1) Biological differences between women and men; 2) Gender (socially prescribed roles and
responsibilities expected of them as a man or woman)

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• have a better understanding of the theoretical underpinnings of gender.

• be able to differentiate between sex and gender (e.g., biological differences versus identity based on
sociocultural norms).

Training Materials: a picture of a baby whose sex is not obvious (see Annex 9), white board, flip-chart,
markers, sticky-notes, colored pens

Method of facilitation: Question and answer, discussion about photo, open discussion

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Ask participants if they consider themselves female, male or something else that may include non-
binary options. Ask them why and what basis they have for telling the difference. Write participant
responses on a flip-chart.
2) After this exercise, show participants the picture of a baby (see Annex 9) and ask them whether it is
a boy or a girl, and why. On the flip-chart, note down the participants’ reasons for stating that the
baby is a girl or boy.
3) Provide participants with sticky notes, and ask them to choose a profession and draw a picture of
that professional. Possible examples include: a doctor, an engineer, a farmer, a cook, a government
employee, a driver, a social worker, a politician, a journalist, or a pilot.
4) Based on these three exercises, open the discussion for participants to talk about which differences
are biological, and which ones are social or cultural.
5) Explain that the differences between women’s and men’s bodies, hormones and organs are
biological differences (and that degrees or mixtures of male and female attributes are possible),
whereas other differences are socially prescribed roles and responsibilities expected of them as a
man or woman (i.e., gender).
6) The facilitators can perform the skit in the box below to prompt discussion among participants. This
skit was used successfully in Niger, but you can adapt the skit to your country’s context.
7) Share the definition of biological sex and gender with participants, and discuss to develop a common
understanding.
• Biological sex is a common basis used to differentiate among men and women.
• Gender is the socially and culturally determined values, norms and differences in treatment
of men, women and “third-gender” or non-binary people, which can act as a barrier or a
pathway their equality, freedom, and empowerment.

Explain that gender discrimination occurs when socially and culturally determined perceptions interfere with
a person’s ability to live a life of their choosing. Also explain with examples how women and non-binary
individuals are mainly affected by this kind of discrimination.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 20

SAMPLE SKIT (NIGER) ON SHARING HOUSEHOLD CHORES

Sani and his wife, Rabi, live together in the village of Mountsere with their 2-month old baby.
Every day, Rabi goes to the well and leaves her baby asleep in the house. Today, the baby
woke up and began to cry.

Sani: Rabi! Rabi! Where are you? Wait...maybe she went to the well.
(Sani takes the child and goes to the village well. On his way, he sees Rabi carrying a can of
water on her head.)
Sani: Here, take your child, he won't stop crying.
Rabi: Please, be patient, can't you see I have a can of water on my head? Can you carry the
water so I can feed him?
Sani: What?! Have you ever seen a husband carrying water for his wife in this village?
Rabi: But I can't feed the baby with this can on my head.
Sani: No, I can’t do it! Do you want people to make fun of me?
Rabi: Fine. Why don't you take him and feed him yourself? It's your child too, right?
Sani: Don’t make fun of me. You know very well that I do not have breasts to feed him.
Rabi: Exactly! That's why I'm begging you to help me with the water can. Look, he's crying.
Sani: But you know that fetching water is a woman’s job.
Rabi: Yes, but men can do it too. Besides, you are very strong, so it might be easier for you.
And haven't you noticed that in the neighboring village it's the men who fetch the water? Plus,
I am the only one who can breastfeed our baby!
(After a few minutes of silence)
Sani: You're right, it never occurred to me. Here, give me the can! I will take it for you. And I
can be an example for other men in our village, inshallah (god willing).

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 21

Household Dialogue session 2 additional resources: Gender

The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

The socially and culturally determined factors for differentiating between men, women and “third-gender” or
non-binary individuals is called “gender.” These determinations have been created by society, and can
change over time. Gender is the definition set by social and cultural norms to differentiate between men,
women and “third-gender” or non-binary individuals.

According to the National Gender Master Trainers’ Network, gender encompasses everything except
biological differences. The kinds of roles, responsibilities, rights, resources, the type of mindset and habits it
teaches, and the values which people are raised with are all a part of “gender”. These vary according to time
and identity (e.g., race, ethnicity, caste, age, location, etc.).

There are certain social assumptions and norms about the characteristics of men, women and “third-gender”
or non-binary individuals that may or may not conform to an individual’s perception of their own gender.
These characteristics could be found equally frequently in men, women and “third-gender” or non-binary
individuals, but socially-determined norms are what we refer to when we talk about “gender.” For example,
women can be fearless, direct, confident, or ruthless; and men can be polite, kind, reserved, or quiet.
However, society often attaches these qualities to males or females. For example, below is a list of
characteristics that society typically attaches to men, women and “third-gender” or non-binary individuals in
Nepal. Consider what exceptions may exist to these social “rules”.

Identity Characteristics

Women Polite, kind, respectful, wears makeup, has long hair, well-mannered, shy, wears
a skirt, does household chores

Men Fearless, confident, independent, strong, ruthless, head of household, has

decision-making power, has short hair, wears shirts and pants.

Non-binary individual Different mannerisms, polite, likes to have fun

Socialization is the process by which, after birth, social and cultural forces start to enforce gender norms.
Families and social structures play an active role in enforcing these norms. For example, parents may speak
different languages to their sons and daughters. They will choose specific clothing and toys that conform to
gender norms. Boys and girls will be tasked with different household responsibilities determined by
sociocultural norms.
Sex Gender

• Biological differences • Created by social and cultural structures

• Related to the body and various • Denotes women's and men's roles, work,
organs of the body characteristics, responsibilities
• Given at birth, or created naturally • Socially prescribed roles and responsibilities
• Does not usually change by location expected of them as a man or woman

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 22

or time • Varies according to time and identity (e.g., race,
• Same in all races, castes and groups ethnicity, caste, age, location, etc.)
• Cannot be changed except through • Could differ even within the same household
purposeful surgery or hormonal • Can be changed
therapy • Can act as a barrier to equality, empowerment
and respect

Household Dialogue session 3: Socialization and negative social

norms/superstitions
Topics: 1) Socialization; 2) Negative social norms/superstitions

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• clearly understand gender differences in the socialization process, and can prepare a list of gender-
based negative/harmful practices currently prevalent in society.

Training Materials: whiteboard, flip-chart, markers, various colored pens

Method of facilitation: individual exercises, open discussion, brainstorming, question and answer

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) To begin the session, provide participants with the following definition of socialization: the process
whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by
the group (or society).
2) Give each participant a piece of flip-chart paper, and ask them to sketch the important events of their
life, encompassing the good and the bad milestones, successes and failures, opportunities and
barriers, dreams and obligations.
3) Ask participants to present their life sketch to the group.
4) Discuss the differences in participants’ life experiences based on the drawings. Ask participants to
think about the types of and basis for differences. Discuss whether there are differences in the
drawings of women and men. Facilitate an open discussion on whether the influence of gender
norms is apparent in these drawings.
5) Ask participants the following open-ended question: What negative social and cultural practices exist
in women’s, men’s or non-binary individuals’ lives? If participants have trouble understanding the
question, define a negative practice as, “a practice that creates unfair treatment of an individual
based on their social standing or identity.” You may give examples of negative practices and
superstitions such as discrimination during menstruation, untouchability, child marriage, practices
prohibiting touching of a new mother, etc.
6) Ask participants the following open-ended question: What positive social and cultural practices exist
in women’s, men’s or non-binary individuals’ lives?
7) Write down participants’ responses on the whiteboard or flip-chart.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 23

8) Discuss who experiences the effects of each of these bad practices (women, men, “third-gender” or
non-binary individuals), and where in their life cycle they experience these effects (childhood,
adolescence, youth, or old age).
9) Discuss whether these practices impact a person's decision-making ability, opportunities,
participation, respect and equality. If so, what are the specific impacts? Use this discussion to
conclude the session.

Household Dialogue session 3 additional resources: socialization and

negative social norms/superstitions
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Not all social practices encountered in the socialization process are benign. Some of these customs are
rooted in violence against certain sexes, castes, races, ages, indigenous groups, and communities. Often,
community and family members accept these practices as normal. At times, we might find ourselves
advocating in favor of some of these negative practices. During our own socialization, we may have been
influenced to accept negative practices as the correct way to do things, or as cultural traditions.

There are many inhumane practices in society that are perpetuated in the name of religion, culture or
tradition. Even family members will discriminate against each other simply because of gender differences. In
some cases, their gender provides a rationale for violence perpetrated against them. Women and girls are
especially vulnerable to gender-based violence, but in many cases men/boys are also targeted with specific
types of violence (e.g., corporal punishment in schools). Below is a list of examples of negative gender-
based practices (to be updated based on the context):

• Dowries
• Discrimination during menstruation
• Child marriage
• Forced polygamy
• Sex slavery
• Forced polyandry
• Negative views of single (unmarried or widowed) women
• Marriage ritual where fathers “give” the daughter away
• Asking a woman to eat from a man’s used plate
• Talaq (practice under which a Muslim man can instantly divorce his wife by simply uttering
"talaq" three times)
• Untouchability
• Discrimination between sons and daughters
• Domestic violence
• Corporal punishment in schools
• Recruitment of child soldiers

These types of negative social practices create preferential treatment of sons, discriminating against
daughters and women from birth. They foster the thinking that women are a burden on the family. Social
norms unfairly define men as leaders, and women as followers, limiting women’s ability to participate in
financial matters and decision-making. These negative social norms redefine natural, biological processes
such as menstruation, and they perpetuate violence against women.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 24

If they are members of community disaster
management committees, their family may not allow CHHAUPADI IN NEPAL
them to travel to conduct their duties or purchase
Chhaupadi is an old Hindu tradition in the
the necessary materials. Many women are not
Western region of Nepal, in which women
trusted to successfully participate in and manage
and girls are banished from their homes
income-generating activities. Social pressures often
during menstruation, and forced to
keep men from speaking out against these negative
sequester themselves in outdoor huts. This
practices.
practice stems from the false belief that
women and girls are “impure” during
The following story was used successfully in Nepal.
menstruation. Following numerous deaths,
You can adapt the story to your country’s context, or
cases of sexual assault, and other injuries,
select another true story from the region that
the Nepalese government made it illegal to
illustrates an extreme example of negative
practice Chhaupadi, but enforcement is
socialization practices. A facilitator or participant
still a challenge in remote regions of the
should read the story aloud, and then participants
country.
can identify aspects of the story that relate to the
session’s content.

SAMPLE STORY (NEPAL) ON HARMFUL GENDER PRACTICES

Deadly Tradition: Teenage Girl Dies of Snakebite in Chhaupadi Shed

(Source: jwalasandesh.com)

Nineteen-year-old Tulasi Shahi from Chamundabindrasaini Municipality in Dailekh, Western

Nepal died after she was bitten by a snake while asleep in a Chhaupadi shed, a shed where
she was forced to live during her periods. According to the local police office in Dullu, the
young woman died during treatment for the snakebite.

Tulasi, who was married to a man in Achham, had been living with her parents for a long time.
Because tradition dictated that women should not stay inside the main house during their
periods, she was forced to live in the shed, resulting in her untimely death. Chief District
Officer Prakash Chandra Adhikari said, “The world is changing so rapidly, but this event in our
society is an indicator of where we are.” He emphasized that all stakeholders should work
together to eliminate such outdated traditions.

According to statistics provided by the District Coordination Committee, there are 513
households in Dailekh district with Chhaupadi sheds. However, Women’s Development Officer
Anita Gyawali says the true number could be even higher. She said that this event, which
occurred in a district as educated as Dailekh, should not be taken lightly. She said that if
traditional healers such as witch doctors, shamans and the men in the community provide their
support, then this harmful tradition can be eliminated.

Jagat Shahi, Chair of the local community committee, says that 70% of the households in
Chamundabindrasaini Municipality still practice Chhaupadi. He added, “Every household
practices Chhaupadi, but we only find out after something like this happens.” According to him,
various awareness programs advocate against Chhaupadi, but they have not resulted in a
decrease in the practice. He added: “If district stakeholders provide their support, the
community is ready to destroy all Chhaupadi sheds.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 25

Household Dialogue session 4: Patriarchal ideology and
discrimination
Topics: 1) Patriarchal ideas; 2) Discrimination created by the patriarchy

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• have a common understanding of patriarchal ideology and will understand that the fight for women’s
rights is not a fight between men and women but between people who hold patriarchal ideology and
people who do not.
• be able to identify areas of discrimination created by the patriarchy, both for men and women.

Training Materials: white board, markers, props that can be used for a roleplay (if needed)

Method of facilitation: Question and answer, open discussion, roleplay

Time required: 1 hour 30 minutes

Session details:

1) Set the stage for discussion by asking the following questions:

• Who makes decisions in the household?
• Who is usually the head of the household?
• Who decides where to send the children to school?
• Who makes decisions about who plants the fields and what kinds of seeds to sow?
• Who takes care of the crops?
• Who decides where to build the family home, and what type of house to build for the family?
• Who decides where the family should go in the event of a disaster, and how to survive there?
• Who decides how to manage the family income, how to spend it, and how and where to save
it?
• Who participates in discussions in the community?
• Whose ideas are accepted more, or accepted more quickly by the community?

Building on the discussions and conclusions from the previous sessions, add other questions, and
facilitate an open discussion with the participants.

2) On the whiteboard, write down all of the important points that came up during the discussion.
3) Building on participant opinions, offer the following definition of patriarchy:
• The idea that asserts male supremacy in the family, society and the nation, prioritizing men's
leadership and rule.
4) Ask participants to think about the discrimination between men and women that are created by this
idea and social structure. Allow participants some time to think.
5) Explain that patriarchy is not about men as individuals, but is related to the idea that men are
superior. This idea defines men as inherently stronger, more skillful, and more capable while
defining women as weak and easy influenced. This is one reason why women are often limited to
household activities.
6) Ask participants for their opinions on patriarchy and write them on the whiteboard. If participants do
not fully understand the concepts, take time to help them understand. Explain how patriarchy

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 26

controls people’s daily household, community, and economic activities. It impacts disaster
preparedness and management, business, and the whole country’s productivity. This results in
gendered effects on progress, equality of opportunities, and access to services.
7) Ask participants, “Can women also have patriarchal ideas?” Discuss together and explain that
patriarchy is not about men, but the idea that men are superior. Men and women can both subscribe
to this idea.
8) Ask participants the following questions: 1) Does patriarchy only control women? 2) Does it control
or harm men? Ask participants to write down one way patriarchy harms men on a piece of paper.
Discuss the responses as a group.
9) Ask participants: What is the opposite of patriarchy? (“Matriarchy” is not correct.)
Explain that protesting against patriarchy, is not the same as advocating for matriarchy. The goal is
not to replace patriarchal control with matriarchal control, or replace one form of inequality,
discrimination and injustice with another form. Protesting against patriarchy is about creating
equality, peace and respect for all people. Patriarchal ideas do not just affect women, they also
effect men, children, and the whole family.
10) Create smaller groups to participate in a role-playing exercise. Ask participants to act out different
discriminatory behaviors in the family, society, community groups, workplace, and public spaces that
are a result of patriarchal ideas. Use the role-playing exercise to summarize the whole session.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 27

Household Dialogue session 4 additional resources: patriarchal ideology
and discrimination

The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Patriarchy is the idea that men’s rule, leadership, and men in general are superior. Patriarchal structures
provide men with access and control over resources and decision-making power. Even though women might
have access to limited resources inside or outside the household, men control the resources and make
decisions about how they are used. Women’s participation in decision-making and economic activities is
often severely limited.

In a patriarchal society, the family wealth and name are inherited by the son (or another male), and the
family is under his control. Women are controlled by men in various ways throughout their lives and are
often dependent on male family members because they have not had the opportunity to earn an
independent income.

Patriarchal ideas can also be held by women. Because of their socialization, women can also believe that
men are superior and should make family decisions. In these cases, women also hold and perpetuate
patriarchal beliefs. The patriarchy can also discriminate against men. For example, in Nepal, sons have to
conduct the difficult last rites for their parents. If men do housework, they are considered to be weak.
Patriarchal ideas dictate that men must be responsible for household finances and cannot show signs of
weakness.

Areas of discrimination created by the patriarchy include:

Identity: The patriarchy does not allow women to have independent identities. Women’s identities depend
on their male family members. In many countries, women’s identities from birth to marriage depend on her
father. After marriage, she is known by her husband’s last name. In many conservative cultures, women’s
independent identities are not easily accepted by society.

Beliefs: Patriarchy influences many widespread negative beliefs about women that are difficult to change.
Examples include: women are weak, women are unable to take on responsibilities, women belong at home,
and women’s progress threatens household stability. Women’s contributions to their families and societies
are not appreciated. Patriarchy dictates that men must be strong and courageous in all situations. This
discriminates against men who have no interest in building or showing physical strength.

Movement: The patriarchy restricts women's free movement. Often, women must be accompanied by a
male family member (even if he is younger) if they want to leave the house. They will likely need permission
of a male family member to leave, and there might be restrictions on where they can and cannot go, or the
time of day they can be outside of the home.

Work: In many places, sociocultural norms dictate the division between men’s and women’s work. Often,
work that does not generate an income, or provides low wages is designated as women’s work. Examples of
this include caretaking roles or service-oriented jobs. Even when women and men are doing the same work,
women earn considerably less (i.e., gender wage gap). In these cases, patriarchy enforces the false idea

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 28

that women are weaker or less capable than their male peers. For men, there is extreme pressure to work
and earn an income. Men are conditioned to be the ‘providers’ for the family and their employment situation
often determines their status in society—as eligible bachelors, good sons, husbands, fathers, etc.

Social: The patriarchy prevents women from participating in social activities and women are often confined
to the household. Even when women’s participation and leadership is a topic of discussion in politics,
policymakers often designate secondary leadership roles for women (e.g., vice-president, secretary).

Economic: The patriarchy often prevents women from participating in income-generating activities. The
patriarchy controls women's income generation and how money is spent. In some countries, women are
unable to buy, sell or exchange even small household goods without men, and they lose control over assets.
The access and control of resources allows an individual to make decisions—making decisions gives an
individual power. With no control over assets, women are also unable to assert other rights. Even if a
woman wanted to buy, sell or exchange her own jewelry, she would need to first consult with her husband or
another male family member.

Body: In many countries, women cannot exercise their rights over their own bodies. They are denied
decision-making power related to their own physical well-being and health. After women are married, their
bodies are considered the property of their husbands. Women do not have rights over their own body.
Warped social norms encourage men to exert power over women, taking part in gender-based violence. The
World Health Organization estimates that 1 in 3 women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual
violence—the majority of this violence is carried out by intimate partners.

Reproduction and Sexuality: Sexual and reproductive functions are another area where the patriarchy
controls women. In many situations, sexual activity is considered to be solely for the entertainment of men
and should take place according to their desires. The result is that men unfairly have control over women’s
sexuality. Men’s control over decisions regarding number of children, birth spacing and family planning
methods also result from the patriarchy.

The patriarchy discriminates against women in seven areas of their lives: body, assets, labor,
participation, freedom, rule, and respect. This lays the groundwork for exploitation of, and violence
against, women.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 29

The following readings were used successfully in Nepal. You can adapt the story to your country’s context,
or select another story from the region that illustrates how men can be impacted by patriarchy.

SAMPLE STORY (NEPAL) ON HOW PATRIARCHY CAN HURT MEN

Men Are Victims of the Patriarchy Too

When Ramhari was 14, his father died suddenly. His father's death filled him with sorrow. When he first
heard about his father's death, Ramhari cried a lot. However, his uncle, neighbors, and relatives told him,
“Men shouldn't cry, you need to be strong,” and he wasn’t allowed to cry. His father's sudden death sent
him into a depression. Ramhari and his 7-year-old brother had to wear white clothing, eat basic food they
prepared themselves and perform the grueling mourning rites for their father.

After his father's death, all household responsibilities fell to Ramhari, the eldest son. Ramhari's mother
was much more mature in terms of age, experience and information, but society dictated that the male
member of the family should be responsible for the household, and so everything was on Ramhari's
plate. His academic performance suffered. A bright student studying in Grade 9, Ramhari was saddled
with a mountain of responsibility for financial decisions, which were supposed to be made by men in the
family. Because of the need to manage the household, and the belief that “a man should tackle whatever
comes his way,” Ramhari stopped going to school and migrated to India to earn money for his family.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 30

You may use the poem below or another poem from your country/region in this session to develop a
common understanding of patriarchy and patriarchal ideas among trainees.

SAMPLE POEM (NEPAL) ON PATRIARCHAL IDEAS

A hen shouldn't crow

(Source: Poet Kunta Sharma, nepalkhabar.com, 21 March 2017)
Every day on the rooftops A tear is a weapon A chick's young life
In the gardens and balconies It should be used sometimes might end before blossoming
Stretching his neck, shaking A smile is a weapon Attacks might occur
his crown It should be used other times Destruction might occur
The rooster crows. Shouldn't speak the truth Shouldn't give voice to her reason
Raising his voice is for a Shouldn't pull open the shades Shouldn't pull open the shades of
rooster alone of darkness darkness
A hen should only groan She shouldn't laugh freely She shouldn't laugh freely
Should quietly swallow gulps A hen shouldn't crow. A hen shouldn't crow.
of rage
Should lay eggs and sit on
eggs She shouldn't take a stand Blocked awareness
Should hatch chicks or stand in the way when it tries to flow
Should dedicatedly raise them Should repeat "master, master" Against immobility
She shouldn't laugh freely and like a machine work faster when trying to take mobile steps
A hen shouldn't crow. When the light tickles you
Shouldn't venture into new when brave hearts open their
territory mouths
She should weigh her words
carefully Shouldn't voice new thoughts and speak the truth
Should add respect to her She shouldn't laugh freely Terrified barbarisms
words A hen shouldn't crow. wake up at once
Should lay down and touch against life
feet There will be disaster They might ring the bells of death
Should wear the flower of Traditions will be decimated They might blow the conch of
servility death
She should put up with great
Shouldn't cross the line of barriers So, without great courage
danger
She should swim in the river of without strong company
Shouldn't ask for her rights tears shouldn't venture into the thorns
She shouldn't laugh freely Dreams might drown She shouldn't laugh freely
A hen shouldn't crow. Lives might rip apart A hen shouldn't crow.
Brooding eggs

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 31

Household Dialogue session 5: Gender-based violence
Topics: 1) Definition of gender-based violence; 2) Types of gender-based violence; 3) Cause and effect; 4)
Major sites where violence occurs; 5) Various sites and the role of male family members

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to define gender-based violence and identify types of gender-based violence.

• be able to identify the causes, effects, and extent of gender-based violence.

Training Materials: balloon, toothpicks, white board, markers, flip-chart paper, masking tape, sticky notes.

Method of facilitation: Brainstorming, open discussion, games

Time required: 2 hours

Important considerations for facilitators: The terms "third-gender" and "non-binary" are US-centric. You
may want to use terms such as LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, and
Intersex). Alternatively, you may explain that that you are referring to people who identify by their sexual
orientation or their gender identity. Your country’s context will determine which terms are the most
appropriate to use.

Session details:

1) Ask participants to share stories of gender-based violence against women, girls, boys, men, and
“third-gender” or non-binary individuals in their family or society that they have seen or heard about.
Allow them time to think of examples. Ask them not to reveal the identity of the person they are
talking about, unless it is a personal story and that other person is comfortable sharing the story with
the group.
2) Use participant responses to define violence in general and gender-based violence. You may use
the definitions below to facilitate the discussion:

• Violence: the intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, against
oneself, another person, or against a group or community, that either results in or has a high
likelihood of resulting in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment, or deprivation. 9
• Gender-based violence: Any harm (physical, mental, social, and/or sexual) towards an
Individual because of the socially prescribed roles and responsibilities expected of them as a
man or woman.
3) Use participants’ examples to illustrate cases where violence is purely based on one’s gender roles
and expectations versus violence in general.
4) Ask participants to form a circle to play the balloon game. Give each participant a balloon and ask
them to blow it up. After participants have blown up their balloons, ask them to throw their balloons
up in the air and catch them. After participants have played with their balloons for a couple of
minutes, give each of them a toothpick or a needle to carry in their palm. Ask them to protect their
balloons. After they have played this game for a minute, ask participants the following questions:

9
World Health Organization. (2018). Definition and typology of violence. http://www.who.int/violenceprevention/approach/definition/en/

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 32

• How many balloons did you burst?
• Why did you burst them?
• How did it feel when your balloon burst?
• How did it feel when you burst someone else's balloon?
• Why did you burst other people's balloons when we only asked you to protect your own
balloon?
5) Using this game as an example, explain how humans have the capacity to inflict violence on others,
given the opportunity. Discuss the effects this could have on society. Use this discussion as a basis
to define violence and gender-based violence.
6) Divide participants into smaller groups as necessary, and ask them to discuss types of gender-
based violence, effects of gender-based violence, and major sites where gender-based violence
occurs. Ask them to present their discussion to the whole group.
7) Use the following questions for a group discussion. You can refer participants to additional
information (see Annexes 5, 6, 7).
• How can you reduce gender-based violence in your own family and society?
• How could male family members help reduce gender-based violence?
• What are some small steps that male family members could take?

Household Dialogue session 5 additional resources: gender-based

violence
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Violence is possible in every society, even if it is not common. The nature and type of violence differs
according to the society. Gender, race, caste, culture, social, political, economic, state structures may each
contribute to violence. Violence can occur anywhere, among villages and cities, rich and poor, educated and
uneducated. Misuse of power and resources fosters violence, which can be used as a means to control
resources. The root causes of gender-based violence are related to the abuse of power. Violence occurs not
just outside the home, but can also occur inside. Although a home is supposed to be a safe place for
families, most violence actually starts at home.

Women experience discrimination in physical, emotional, mental, social, economic and political realms. This
creates barriers to opportunities and treats women as lower or second class citizens, simply because of their
sex. When people take part in this type of discrimination, they are engaging in violence against women. The
difference between gender-based violence and violence against women is that in the former the victims are
any gender (male, female, “third-gender” or non-binary individuals) while in the latter the victims are
specifically women.

The six core types of GBV 10 and their definitions are:

1) Rape: non‐consensual penetration (however slight) of the vagina, anus or mouth with a penis or
other body part. Also includes non‐consensual penetration of the vagina or anus with an object.

10
The GBV Classification Tool was developed as part of the Gender-based Violence Information Management System's (GBVIMS) project
initiated in 2006 by OCHA, UNHCR, and the IRC. The GBVIMS received technical guidance from the Inter-agency Standing Committee's
(IASC) Sub-Working Group on Gender and Humanitarian Action.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 33

Examples can include but are not limited to: gang rape, marital rape, sodomy, forced oral sex. This
type of GBV does not include attempted rape since no penetration has occurred.

2) Sexual Assault: any form of non‐consensual sexual contact that does not result in or include
penetration. Examples can include but are not limited to: attempted rape, unwanted kissing,
unwanted stroking, unwanted touching of breasts, genitalia and buttocks, and female genital
cutting/mutilation. This type of GBV does not include rape since rape involves penetration.

3) Physical Assault: physical violence that is not sexual in nature. Examples can include but are not
limited to: hitting, slapping, choking, cutting, shoving, burning, shooting or use of any weapons, acid
attacks or any other act that results in physical pain, discomfort or injury. This type of GBV does not
include female genital cutting/mutilation, or honor killing.

4) Forced Marriage: the marriage of an individual against her or his will.

5) Denial of Resources, Opportunities or Services: denial of rightful access to economic

resources/assets or livelihood opportunities, education, health or other social services. Examples
can include but are not limited to: a widow prevented from receiving an inheritance, earnings taken
by an intimate partner or family member, a woman prevented from using contraceptives, a girl
prevented from attending school, etc. This type of GBV does not include reports of general poverty.

6) Psychological/Emotional Abuse: infliction of mental or emotional pain or injury. Examples can

include but are not limited to: threats of physical or sexual violence, intimidation, humiliation, forced
isolation, stalking, verbal harassment, unwanted attention, remarks, gestures or written words of a
sexual and/or menacing nature, destruction of cherished things, etc.

You may adjust the examples in the tables below to ensure they are relevant to your country's context.

TABLE 3: EXAMPLES OF GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE OVER A PERSON’S LIFETIME

Age Examples of Gender-Based Violence

Before Birth Sexual selection, abortion, forced pregnancy,

physical violence during pregnancy, lack of good
nutrition or health facilities, etc.

Infancy Female infanticide, different treatment of girls (in

terms of nutrition or healthcare), etc.

Childhood Child marriage, genital mutilation, sexual abuse,

trafficking, discrimination related to nutrition and
health, etc.

Adolescence Chhaupadi (isolation during menstruation), rape,

intimidation, sexual abuse in the workplace, forced
prostitution, trafficking, etc.

Reproductive Age Sexual abuse, marital rape, dowry-based violence,

sexual activity in the workplace, abuse of disabled,
single and widowed women, etc.

Old Age Abuse, neglecting basic needs (e.g., food, clothing,

medicine), forcing exits from the home, lack of health
services, etc.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 34

TABLE 4: PHYSICAL SPACES WHERE GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE MAY OCCUR
Where By Whom Type of Violence

Home Husband, Parents, Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, beatings, rape, sexual abuse,
Brothers, Sisters, In-Laws, discriminatory behavior
etc.

Workplace Boss, Leader, Unsolicited sexual comments, using insults and slurs, touching,
Colleagues, concealing or giving confusing information, showing explicit
Subordinates, Contractor, materials, sexual abuse, unequal pay
etc.

School, Student, Teacher, Unsolicited sexual comments, sexual touching, inviting them
College, Warden, Employees, alone to a room, bribing for sexual favors, sexual abuse
Hostel Guard, Driver

Public Anyone Invading personal space, unsolicited sexual comments, following

places, someone, using slurs and insults, rape
Markets

Policies, The nation and its Not making policies that are gender-friendly, not implementing
Laws representatives existing gender-friendly laws

TABLE 5: THE EFFECTS OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE ON A PERSON’S HEALTH, HUMAN RIGHTS,

EDUCATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Health Self-confidence

• poorer health • decreased confidence

• inability to be productive or functional • mentally unstable
• frequent illnesses • rage, fear, despondence
• physical disfigurement • preference to be alone
• social withdrawal

Education Human Rights

• disinterest in studying • deprivation of right to education, freedom

• distances themselves from their educational and work
institution • deprivation of the right to live free of
• inability to perform academically violence

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 35

TABLE 6: THE EFFECTS OF SOCIAL VIOLENCE ON A PERSON’S HEALTH, HUMAN RIGHTS,
EDUCATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Health Self-confidence

• wounded, disfigured, injured, death, hernia, • fearful, unable to get close to people
uterine prolapse, mental imbalance • panicky, angry
• barriers to physical and mental development • feeling ashamed or a sense of inferiority
• increase in death rates of infants and
mothers

Education Human Rights

• deprived of the right to an education • deprived of services, rights and opportunities

• unable to retain knowledge learned provided by the state
• sense of being disliked by peers • constantly feeling unsafe
• barrier to complete personality development • deprived of the right to privacy by making
their private information public.

TABLE 7: THE EFFECTS OF ECONOMIC VIOLENCE ON A PERSON’S HEALTH, HUMAN RIGHTS,

EDUCATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Health Self-confidence

• lack of access to health services • scared to go out in public because of the

• lack of nutritious food to eat violence committed against them
• unable to make decisions

Education Human Rights

• Not able to access educational opportunities • deprived of the right to health

due to lack of funds, which severely • deprived of basic necessities such as food,
compromises future opportunities shelter, clothing and a safe home

TABLE 8: EFFECTS OF CULTURAL VIOLENCE ON A PERSON’S HEALTH, HUMAN RIGHTS,

EDUCATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Health Self-confidence

• physical harm, even murder • feeling weak

• forced to give birth to many children, leading • decrease in self-respect and reputation
to deterioration of health among community members

Education Human Rights

• deprived of higher education • deprived of the right to make decisions about

their own reproductive health

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 36

TABLE 9: EFFECT OF EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE ON A PERSON’S HEALTH, HUMAN RIGHTS,
EDUCATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Health Self-confidence

• mental instability • loss of interest in work

• lack of appetite, weight loss or gain • loss of confidence in one’s own ability to
• withdrawn and distant work
• frequent illness • nightmares
• unable to hold a conversation with others
• preference to be alone
• unable to make decisions

Education Human Rights

• unable to concentrate when studying • deprived of human rights and dignity

• poor academic performance

TABLE 10: THE EFFECTS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE ON A PERSON’S HEALTH, HUMAN RIGHTS,
EDUCATION AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Health Self-confidence

• sexually transmitted diseases • mental health issues

• unplanned pregnancy, abortion • fearful, withdrawn or distant
• back and waist pain • loss of reasoning abilities
• impact on overall health • suicidal thoughts
• destructive behaviors
• feeling of being rejected by society

Education Human Rights

• unable to concentrate on studying • deprived of human rights

• poor academic perfomance

(This information on the effects of violence against women has been derived from a poster prepared by
UNFPA, Government of Nepal, Office of the Prime Minister and Cabinet of Ministers, and WOREC Nepal
and is not meant to be an exhaustive list.)

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 37

Household Dialogue session 6: Division of household roles and
responsibilities
Topics: 1) Division of household roles and responsibilities; 2) Gender roles

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to evaluate their roles in daily domestic chores and understand the gendered division of
domestic work between women and men.
• be able to see how the joint handling of domestic chores by women and men will help increase
women's incomes and improve their participation in society.
• be able to define gender roles.

Training Materials: a chart of household resources written on flip-chart paper, additional flip-chart paper,
marker, white board, sticky notes, tape

Method of facilitation: Open discussion, brainstorming, question and answer, individual and group
exercises

Time required: 3 hours (including discussion and exercise)

Session details:

1) Create a conducive environment for discussion by asking participants to prepare to discuss their
daily activities in the household and community.
2) To begin the discussion, ask a woman to imagine she was a man. Ask her to introduce herself,
followed by a list of everything she does from morning to night (as a man). If it’s helpful, she can
imagine the roles of a man within her household. Then, ask a man to imagine he was a woman. Ask
him to introduce himself, followed by a list of everything he does from morning to night (as a
woman). Again, if it’s helpful, he can imagine the roles of a woman in his household.
3) After these presentations, ask the participants how it felt to introduce themselves as someone of the
opposite sex and imagine themselves in each other’s shoes.
4) If training participants are all-male or all-female, ask them to present based on the activities they see
women and men engaging in in their homes and communities.
5) Ask participants to copy the List of Household Roles and Responsibilities (see page 41) onto a flip-
chart, or provide them with copies of the list. Ask them to write down the various roles they play (the
work they do) in varying contexts—as an individual, in their family, and in society. Let the
participants know that the activities already on the sheet are only examples, and that activities can
be added or removed by the participants, depending on the relevance to their own local context.
6) After participants complete the Family Members’ Roles and Responsibilities exercise, ask them to
give a short presentation to the group.
7) Discuss the following questions with the participants:
• How long do women and men work each day?
• Who mostly engages in income-generating activities? Why?
• Who mostly engages in activities that support the domestic household? Why?
• What does rest and entertainment consist of in your home? Who rests more? Who takes part
in leisure activities?
• Who does the majority of the work outside the home?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 38

• Is it possible to divide this work among family members? If possible, which activities outside
the home can be divided? How can they be divided?
• If domestic chores are divided, will women have more time for income-generating activities?
If they have more time, how will women use it? What are the activities in which they would
participate?
• What are the benefits of dividing up the domestic chores, and who benefits?
8) After the discussion, ask participants to create their ideal division of the domestic workload and
present it to the group.
9) Define gender roles, with examples.
10) Building on examples from the previous discussion on gender roles and division of daily workload,
clarify which roles and types of work are gender roles.

A few suggestions for this session:

• To enhance participants’ understanding, facilitators can show them “The Impossible Dream,” an
animated documentary produced by the United Nations. You can access the film using the following
link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2JBPBIFR2Y

• Facilitators can use pictures to prompt discussions on women’s and men’s work. For this exercise,
the facilitator can either select pictures in advance which depict men’s and women’s work and roles,
or ask participants to illustrate their own.

• This session can also be conducted using a role-playing exercise, where participants act out men’s
and women’s work and roles.

• Case studies, stories and examples can also contribute to effective discussions. Below you will find
a few examples. Participants can also provide examples. These examples may also be useful for
facilitators when they are conducting orientations for participants in target communities.

The following readings were used successfully in Nepal. You can adapt the story to your country’s context,
or select another story that illustrates household responsibilities and gender roles. A facilitator or participant
should read the story aloud, and then participants can identify aspects of the story that relate to the
session’s content.

SAMPLE STORIES (NEPAL) ON HOUSEHOLD GENDER ROLES

Mansara as a social worker, and Mansara as a homemaker

Before marriage, Mansara was active in the youth group in the village where she grew up. She used to
help everyone. If someone in her family or community needed any kind of help, they would think of
Mansara first. Her coordination efforts were key to preparing the community's disaster preparedness
plan, conducting soil erosion prevention work, preparing for floods and landslides, and distributing relief
in the community after the earthquake. Everyone wished they had a daughter like Mansara.

After marriage, Mansara's daily activities completely changed. Now, she is the first in her family to wake
up. Her daily workload consists of household chores, feeding the children, taking care of the livestock,
cooking for the family, and cleaning the house. After finishing the burdensome domestic work, she is the
last one in her new family to eat, and the last one to go to sleep. Her education, her social work
experience, and her desires are discounted. Now, she feels like she is a prisoner in her husband’s home.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 39

CONT.

Ward Chairperson Radhika

Radhika has been elected as the Chairperson of her ward in the local elections. Now, Radhika has no
spare time. She is always occupied with planning and implementation of various community
development projects.

However, even though she is now the Ward Chairperson, the burden of her household responsibilities
has not decreased. In addition to her household responsibilities, she is also responsible for community
development and leadership as the Ward Chair. Radhika strongly feels that if other family members
would help out with the household work, she would be able to do more for the social development of her
community and be more politically active.

After participating in the

Household Dialogue activity, this
man from Kavrepalanchowk
district, Nepal now works together
with his wife in their garden.
Photo credit: Ezra Millstein, Senior Content Producer |
Mercy Corps

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 40

Household roles and responsibilities analysis worksheet

Role / Type of work Responsibility Average Daily Does this Other Remarks
time timeframe activity daily/weekly/occasional
(Which family required generate work, or any other
member is (Examples: an income? additional work
mainly mornings,
responsible for afternoons,
this work?) evenings)

Domestic (The roles included here are intended to provide a starting point. The facilitator can add or remove roles during the training or
subsequent door-to-door visits as required.

Men Women

Housecleaning

Cooking

Fetching Water

Collecting Grass

Caring for livestock

Childcare

Going to the market

Purchasing daily necessities

(food, tea, cooking oil, soap,
school supplies for the children,
etc.)

Buying clothes or school uniforms

for the family

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 41

Buying seeds and fertilizer

Transporting seeds, fertilizer and

produce

Selling farm products

Taking children to school

Personal Development, Opportunities and Rest (The examples included here are intended to provide a starting point. The facilitator can add
or remove roles during the training or subsequent door-to-door visits, as required.)

Men Women

Reading, writing, increasing

Knowledge

Household discussions

Community discussions

Entertainment and exercise

Income-generating activities

Rest

Social (The roles included here are examples intended to provide a starting point. The facilitator can add or remove roles during the training or
subsequent door-to-door visits as required.)

Men Women

Contributing labor for construction

and repair activities

Discussions on community

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 42

development

Participation in social, cultural or

religious organizations

Labor contribution for cultural and

religious works

Participation in users' committees

and construction committees

Participation in leadership
positions in various community
groups

Participation in major community

meetings

Participation in celebrations

Participation in disaster risk

reduction preparations

Participation in capacity
development opportunities related
to disaster risk reduction
information, early warning
systems, etc.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 43

Household Dialogue session 6 additional resources: division of household
roles and responsibilities
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Women and men often conform to gender roles set by their family, community, or organizational values.
When children are born, their sex does not dictate that they should do certain types of work or take on
certain responsibilities. However, society sets certain norms for their behaviors, roles, responsibilities and
habits based on biological differences. Organizations, cultures, laws, and other social actors entrench these
roles and responsibilities.

Our society, culture, traditions, and religions designate certain types of work as “women’s work,” and other
types of work as “men’s work.” Men are designated as the heads of the household—the providers, masters,
political and business managers, and the breadwinner of the family. Women are designated as mothers and
caretakers, who look after the household, handle domestic chores, raise livestock, and uphold the family’s
reputation by staying “where they belong”— that is, at home.

Women’s and men’s roles and responsibilities differ depending on social, cultural and geographic contexts.
If we examine the different roles and responsibilities for women and men, we can see how discriminatory
they can be. Men’s work is seen as respectable, whereas women’s work is viewed as menial. Tradition
dictates that men should provide for their families, which places intense pressure on them to find
employment. As a result, many men are forced to migrate to foreign countries to work. In these cases, men
are also victims of gender discrimination. When men do not question these norms set by society, women are
confined to the household and men are forced to carry unnecessary burdens themselves.

The socialization process not only influences women’s and men’s roles, work and behavior, it also
designates different spaces, times, languages and material goods. Generally, women’s space is in the
home, and men’s spaces are outside of the home. Even within a home, the kitchen is usually women’s
space, and the living room is designated for men. In public, movie theaters, hotels and sports facilities are
men’s spaces, while the community well and religious sites are accessible to women. Men frequent
community gatherings and meetings, and women rarely venture into these spaces. When they do, they are
usually accompanied by male family members and are not allowed to voice unique opinions. There is still
much work to do to ensure equal access and representation.

Household resources are also designated as belonging to women or men. For example, certain dishware or
furniture may be set aside for the father. Men usually have decision-making power over major assets, such
as land, vehicles, bicycles or businesses. In many cases, certain professions are considered to be either
women’s or men’s work. For example, female professions might include being a secretary, nurse or nanny,
while male professions might include being a boss, driver, manager, politician, doctor or farmer.

Women’s time is often occupied with household chores and caretaking. Men take on financial
responsibilities, make important family decisions, and take on leadership roles. The burden of domestic work
falls disproportionately on women, but their efforts are underappreciated and undervalued. Men have
decision-making power within the household and community, and as a result, power tends to be
concentrated in men’s hands. The long tradition of patriarchy ties women to household work and saddles
men with the sole responsibility of earning income to provide for their families. This can result in family

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 44

disputes, polygamy and a lack of income in cases where there are no men in the family. If women and men
share household responsibilities, there is greater opportunity for each to earn an income outside of the
home. By participating in trainings and discussions, men and women will be more knowledgeable about
each other’s challenges. The result is a better managed family where everyone cooperates and contributes.
To reach your destination, you need both wheels to work equally and in harmony.

There are four types of gender roles:

Productive roles: These include activities with a direct economic benefit, which usually take place outside
of the home. Examples include: production, trade, labor wages, etc. These activities are considered to be
important because they are visible and generate income. The prevailing view in society is that men should
be active in these productive roles. When women are in these roles, there is usually a gender wage gap.

Reproductive and domestic roles: These include all daily household activities, such as cleaning, cooking,
agricultural labor, caretaking for children or elderly family members, and giving birth and breastfeeding.
These activities tend to be undervalued, in part because they do not generate an income. Many of these
tasks (with the exception of childbearing and breastfeeding) would require payment if someone outside of
the family completed the work. However, when the same work is done by women within the family, it is
valued less. Generally, social norms dictate that women and girls should be responsible for reproductive
roles. These daily activities are time-consuming and prevent women from taking part in meetings, trainings,
discussions and other development activities. An enabling environment where women and men can share
household responsibilities will allow both women and men to take part in opportunities outside the home.

Community management roles: These include work done for the benefit of the community. For example,
helping out during emergencies, births and deaths in the community, contributing labor to construction work,
helping repair and maintain important public resources, and being active in cultural or religious activities.
These types of work do not necessarily provide economic returns, or earn much respect. Historically, men
and women have both been involved in these roles.

Community political roles: These roles encompass local government and political activities, distribution of
resources and opportunities, and leadership of projects and events which benefit the community. While
these roles do not provide a direct economic benefit, they can earn respect and create political opportunities.
These roles can also eventually provide a pathway to national politics. Men are usually more active, either
directly or indirectly, in these roles. While some women are becoming more active in these community
political roles, most simply contribute physical labor for community projects. Increasingly, women’s
participation is sought at all levels, from local to national. However, they still lack decision-making power in
many of these structures. To ensure that women’s participation is meaningful and that they have decision-
making power, it is important to instill the following values within the household:

• Household roles and responsibilities should be divided among all family members, especially the
women and men in the family, so that everyone has an equal opportunity to rest and participate in
entertainment and income-generating activities.
• The family’s financial situation will improve and life will become easier if women have the opportunity
to get involved in income-generating activities.
• When all family members have equal time to rest, then their health will improve, which results in
increases in productivity.
• When women are involved in income-generating activities, then it will no longer be the sole
responsibility of the men to provide for the family.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 45

• If household responsibilities are shared, then women will have more time to participate in and
contribute to community activities.

For equality and mainstreaming, it is important to increase women’s participation in productive and
community roles. If women spend the majority of their time in reproductive roles, their economic, social and
personal development will suffer. It is also important for businesses, enterprises and business committees to
carefully think about issues of women’s participation. If women take on productive and community roles
without release from the burden of reproductive roles, then women will be overworked with negative impacts
on their physical and mental health. It is critical to reduce their participation in reproductive roles to increase
their participation in productive and community roles. The story below provides a successful example of
finding this balance.

The facilitator may use the following story to prompt discussion among participants. This example was
successful in Nepal, but we recommend adapting it to fit your country's context.

SAMPLE STORY (NEPAL) ON ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

Shiva Kumari Tharu (age 23) is the Vice Mayor of her city
(Source: Bhagwati Pandey, setopati.com, 4 July 2017)

Shiva Kumari Tharu's mother was a homemaker, just like other women in her village. They did not have a
lot of land, and her father ran a small shop. In their village, most of the girls were busy with household
chores and cooking. However, Shiva Kumari's father sent his daughter to school. Unlike many other girls
from Terai-Madhesh communities, she was not confined to her home. With time, her dreams guided her,
and now she has become the Vice-Mayor of her municipality. Elected the Vice-Mayor of Shivraj municipality
in Kapilvastu, Shiv Kumari is just 23 years old. However, she is already responsible for many things in her
family, and now, her responsibility extends to the whole municipality.

Shiv Kumari was just 17 years old when she was married to Rajendra Chaudhary from Shivpur. She had
just completed 10th grade at that time. While she was married at a very young age, she did not have to face
huge difficulties. Her husband’s family did not try to prevent her from going to college. Instead, her new
family introduced her to politics. While studying in college, she began to work as a social mobilizer with a
nongovernmental organization, where she worked for a year. Her work centered on increasing the
awareness and empowerment of poor households. In this position, she had the opportunity to learn about
the challenges that various households faced. She increased the self-confidence of community members
and encouraged them to speak out against injustices. She was able to learn how politics impacts people’s
experiences—the good and the bad. She shared, “At that time, I understood politics. I used to think that my
family responsibilities would prevent me from entering politics. Now, I have actually given up my teaching
job to pursue this.”

Many married women in the Terai do not have citizenship. Shiv Kumari saw that many men were afraid that
if they provided citizenship to their wives, they would turn against the men. “I was surprised to see men who
would not support their wives’ applications for citizenship, afraid that the women would demand their rights,
and lay a claim to the family property,” said Shiv Kumari. “Seeing all these women deprived of their right to
citizenship made me sad. We tried to change the men’s minds.” Shiv Kumari's husband is abroad, earning
money and helping her with her education. Shiv Kumari feels that she would be where she is today without
the support of her husband and in-laws. She attributes her success to the people in her community, and to
her family. Her mother and father have played a critical role in caring for her infant daughter, which allows
her to engage in politics. Shiv Kumari says, “I am the Vice Mayor now. The work of the Vice Mayor is to
provide justice. I will work to bring justice, not just to women, but everyone who is facing injustice.”

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 46

Household Dialogue session 7: Joint household decisions
Topics: 1) Joint household decisions

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• understand the positive and negative aspects of individual and joint family decisions.
• evaluate women’s and men’s roles and decision-making power in household matters.
• develop the skills to hold productive discussions to ensure the equitable participation of women and
men in household decision-making processes.

Training Materials: participant exercise worksheets (pages 49, 50), flip-chart paper, markers, whiteboard,
masking tape

Method of facilitation: open discussion, question and answer, individual and group exercises, group
discussion

Time required: 3 hours (including discussion and exercises)

Facilitator’s Note: This discussion focuses on the sensitive topic of decision-making between men and
women, and how it affects household dynamics. The main objective of this session is to increase women’s
decision-making power and reduce their risks. The facilitator needs to create a safe and supportive
environment where women and men feel free to express their opinions. When discussing sensitive topics
such as household decision-making, it is possible that participants may not agree with the facilitator, or that
they express discontentment. In these instances, it is the facilitator’s responsibility to guide participants and
clarify that the discussion is not meant to “take women’s or men’s sides,” but rather create an environment
that is conducive to open and honest discussion.

Session details:

1) To begin the discussion, ask participants about the decisions they make in their life. What are these
decisions related to?
2) Ask both men and women participants the follow-up questions below:
• Did you make that decision yourself, or did you ask for someone else’s advice?
• What would you have done if other family members (i.e., your husband or wife) did not agree
with your decisions?
3) Clarify that this session will focus on family decisions, men’s and women’s roles in those decisions,
and the impacts of the decisions.
4) Facilitate a discussion about household resources, including who has access, control and the ability
to make decisions regarding those resources. Use examples that participants can relate to, based
on their context.
5) Ask participants: Who makes household decisions in different social contexts? After discussing this
question, copy the “Household decision-making exercise worksheet” (page 50) and the “Household
access and control analysis worksheet” (page 51) to the flip-chart, or provide participants with copies
of the worksheet for the discussion.
6) Ask participants to complete the exercises individually, and then present their work to the group.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 47

7) Based on the decisions formulated during the exercise, ask participants which family member
handles each decision. Is it a man or a woman? What is their role in the family (e.g., father, mother,
son, daughter, daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law, etc.)?
8) Using the roles and resources provided on the worksheet for this session, discuss who has access
to resources, and who makes decisions about how to use those resources. Roles and resources can
be added or removed based on the participants’ context.
9) Listed below are questions you may use for discussion (feel free to add your own). We recommend
dividing participants into groups so that everyone has a chance to participate in the discussion. To
save time, you may want provide a different subset of questions to each group.
• Who is responsible for most of the decisions in the family?
• Who has access to or control over which matters in the family or household? What effect
does this have?
• Which activities do men usually make decisions about?
• Which activities do women usually make decisions about?
• What kind of decisions are made jointly by women and men?
• Who has access to which resources?
• Who has control over which resources? Who has both access and control? How?
• Who holds the majority of decision-making power? Can this be changed to a joint decision-
making process?
• Will there be a difference in decisions made by men or women (simply because they are
men or women)?
• What are the risks of making household decisions without the participation of women or other
members of the family?
• What are the advantages of including everyone in decision-making?
• Does the joint family decision-making exercise ease household management? How?
• Does joint household decision-making help the economic prosperity of the family? How?
• Does joint household decision-making result in disaster risk reduction or enhanced disaster
management so that destructive effects are mitigated? How?
10) Ask each group to present important points from their discussion. Build on these presentations to
clarify concepts of access, control and decision-making power.
11) Share the Household Decision-making Evaluation Forms (Annex 4) with the participants. Explain
that facilitators use these checklists and forms to evaluate households’ improvements in decision-
making processes, and ask them to participate in individual or group exercises.
12) Clarify any lingering points raised during the discussion to conclude the session.

The facilitator may use the following stories to prompt discussion among participants. These examples were
successful in Nepal, but we recommend adapting them to fit your country's context.

SAMPLE STORIES (NEPAL) ON HOUSEHOLD DECISION-MAKING

Parvati's Story

Parvati loves wearing gold jewelry, unlike the men in her family. She and the other women in her family
have access to gold jewelry, but the men in the family do not have the same access. However, Parvati
cannot make decisions about buying new gold jewelry, or exchanging her current jewelry for current
designs. The men in the family are responsible for decisions regarding when to buy jewelry, what kind to
buy, what design to choose, and how much to spend. They even control decisions about which jewelry
Parvati should wear. Parvati is not included in these decisions and must look to her male family members to
make these decisions.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 48

CONT.

Harey Ram's Family

Harey Ram's family raises buffaloes, cows, goats and chickens. The women in his family are responsible
for livestock rearing and spend most of their day caring for the animals. Men usually work outside of the
home, and when they are at home, they do not engage in household responsibilities. They often spend time
at the local teashop talking with friends and neighbors. Men are able to receive village and political news
through these discussions.

Harey Ram's wife is not allowed to sell the buffaloes, cows, goats or chickens she has raised. Women in
her village must wait for their husbands (or other male family members) to make decisions regarding the
sale of livestock. Even though Harey Ram's wife cares for the animals and knows everything about them,
Harey Ram holds the decision-making power regarding when to buy, exchange or sell the livestock.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 49

Household decision-making exercise worksheet
What is the role of the
Resources Men Women man or woman in the
family?
Who makes decisions regarding the resources below? Men, women or both? Resources can be added or
removed depending on the country’s context.
Purchasing daily necessities (food, tea, cooking oil, soap,
etc.)
Farming

Buying small livestock (e.g., chickens, goats etc.)

Buying large livestock (cows, buffaloes, oxen, or other

commercial livestock)
Buying grains (e.g., maize, barely, millet, etc.)

Buying clothes

Medical/health spending

Festival spending

Entertainment spending

Buying land

Selling land

Saving

Taking out loans

Investing

Childcare

Children’s education

Children’s marriage

Having children

Employment

Participating in relatives’ discussions and decisions

Participating in community discussions and decisions

Making decisions on how to allocate resources and

opportunities
Making preparations for natural disasters (e.g.,
earthquake, floods, landslides, etc.)
Recovery and management in the event of a natural
disaster

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 50

Household access and control analysis worksheet
Resources can be added to or removed from the following examples, as needed

Resources Access Control

Women Men Women Men

House

Land

Technology (television, radio, mobile phones, etc.)

Money

Gold, silver and jewelry

Livestock

Farm products

Children’s expenses (school fees, shopping, etc.)

External income

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 51

Household Dialogue session 7 additional resources: Access, control and
joint household decisions
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Key definitions:

Access: Access is the ability to use family resources. If women have the opportunity to use and maintain
household belongings, they are said to have access to those resources.

Control: Control refers to the ability to buy, sell or exchange resources to which you have access. For
example, women may have access to family resources, but may not have control or decision-making power
over those resources.

Decision: Making a decision involves deliberating over what to do with resources or work-related matters,
and then coming to a conclusion. Just because someone has access to resources does not mean that they
are granted the ability or rights to make decisions regarding how, when and where to use those resources.
For example, women often work in the fields and are responsible for using farm products to feed their
families, yet paradoxically, they may be excluded from decisions about whether to buy or sell agricultural
goods. When natural disasters strike, women are able to take advantage of relief services, but often they are
excluded from decisions regarding how to prepare for potential disasters, or prepare for recovery afterwards.

Participatory Decisions: Decisions that have been made with full participation, open discussions, and
consensus among family members are called participatory family decisions. In many societies, the head of
the household makes decisions based on their own preferences. In patriarchal societies, men are usually
the head of the household and hold decision-making power. Men often make decisions about farming,
children’s education and personal development, and buying or selling family assets. Women and children
are often excluded from important economic decisions related to household savings and investments, which
may put entire families at risk during emergencies or natural disasters.

It is critical that women and children are involved in household decision-making. For example, they should
be informed about the family’s various income sources. They should help decide how money is spent based
on the family’s needs and goals. Everyone should know about the investments and arrangements that are
made for the family’s future. When women and children are excluded from these decisions, the whole family
is at risk. For example, the head of the household is not present, or suddenly dies, it may not be possible for
a family to recover its investments if they do not even have knowledge of them. Many societies have defined
a very limited role for women. They lack access to and control over resources, and their ability to access or
exchange information is severely constrained.

Disadvantages of individual family decisions

• Other family members might not be aware of the decisions made.

• Other family members may not feel any responsibility regarding the decisions.
• Expenditure is higher if everyone is making their own spending decisions.
• If family members are unaware of investment decisions, the investment could be at risk, or unable to
be recovered if the decision-maker is absent.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 52

• There could be distrust among family members and lack of family harmony.
• If only one person is responsible for a decision and the investment results in a loss, or does not
produce an income, the resulting stress could lead to gender-based violence within the family.

Advantages of joint family decisions

• Joint decisions regarding family finances could result in an improved financial situation, which
increases prosperity for the family.
• When all family members participate in decision-making, their capacities increase, which results in
increased self-respect and self-confidence.
• All family members will feel similar levels of responsibility for family decisions.
• Families’ productivity increases when everyone participates in family decisions.
• The health of family members will likely improve.
• Children’s education will likely improve.
• Joint decision-making fosters understanding among family members, and decreases arguments and
disagreements.
• Families take better care of children when there is family harmony.
• When women are included in family decision-making, they develop their leadership abilities and are
able to make independent decisions.
• Joint decision-making increases the social reputation of families.
• When women have access to family decision-making, they can develop their leadership abilities, and
can make decisions themselves when male members of the family are absent.

Major Issues

• Women, men and other family members should all participate in decisions related to household work
and roles.
• When decisions are made through participatory discussions, all family members will be informed,
which helps mitigate the impact of potential future disasters.
• When the head of the household makes individual decisions regarding the family’s investments, they
are vulnerable to losses. Additionally, the resulting family income will likely be spent according to the
wishes of the head of the household, rather than regarding the needs of all.
• When family members participate equitably in decisions, it fosters teamwork and results in improved
family harmony.

If household decisions are made jointly, it will improve the decision-making capacity of everyone in the
family. As a result, women will be empowered to make decisions for their families, which helps protect
families from future “shocks and stresses” or unexpected events that might threaten household financial
stability or food security.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 53

Household Dialogue session 8: Household financial management
and family plans
Topics: 1) Household financial management; 2) Family financial planning

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able talk about indicators of household financial management and financial plans.
• be able to define household financial management and participatory decision-making in relation to
preparing family plans.

Training Materials: Kopila's story (or other contextualized story), flip-chart paper, masking tape, markers,
whiteboard

Method of facilitation: open discussion, group discussion

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Read Kopila's story (included below) aloud to participants. Divide participants into smaller groups
and provide each group with a copy of Kopila's story. Ask participants to discuss the questions
provided, and present their answers to the entire group.
2) After the group presentations, ask participants the following questions:
• What is the family’s income?
• Where does the income come from?
• What are the differences between men’s and women’s income?
• How does women’s household work help men’s work outside of the household?
• What is the daily, weekly and monthly expenditure of the household?
• What does the comparative analysis of income and expenditure look like?
• What savings exist?
• What are the sources of income, and the areas of expenditure?
• How can expenditure areas be prioritized?
• How can a monthly or annual plan be made for income and expenditures?
• Who needs to be involved in creating these plans? Why?
Discuss these topics in depth, and clarify concepts with the participants as necessary. Using
examples, facilitate an open discussion on the positive effects on the family of joint household
financial management and planning.
3) Explain the following concepts to create a common understanding among participants:
• Families should track their income and expenses, and create a budget where their income is
always higher than their expenses, except in the case of an emergency. Families should
discuss their commitment to forgo unnecessary expenses (especially male family members).
• Family members should discuss ways to decrease expenses, and increase income. During
emergencies, it is critical to have a reserve of savings to draw upon. If women family
members are members of local cooperatives or similar groups, the family will have an
advantage should an emergency arise.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 54

• If family members share the burden of domestic chores, childcare and farming, women will
have more time to engage in income-generating activities outside of the home. This can lead
to increased family harmony and prosperity.
4) Read aloud the story “Sandai's Pride” (included below) to participants, or ask one of the participants
to read it out aloud. Ask participants to list the differences between the two families in Kopila's Story
and Sandai's Pride. Conclude the session with this discussion.

The facilitator may use the following stories to prompt discussion among participants. These examples were
successful in Nepal, but we recommend adapting them to fit your country’s context.

SAMPLE STORY (NEPAL) ON HOUSEHOLD FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

Kopila's Story

Kopila has three children, two of which attend school. She is occupied with domestic chores, childcare and
agricultural work. Her husband works as a farm laborer in the community. Kopila is usually busy growing
vegetables. Her household responsibilities do not allow her time to go to the market, attend social
gatherings or meetings, or spend time with friends. She is the first one in the house to wake up in the
morning, and the last one to go to bed at night. Yet, she still does not have any time for anything other than
household work.

Her husband finds spare time to go to the market in the mornings and evenings. While he is there, he also
indulges in unnecessary spending. He does not smoke, but he does purchase a small amount of alcohol
every day. Some days, his daily earnings are not enough to purchase a drink, so he asks Kopila for money.
Where can Kopila possibly find money to support her husband’s habit? She earns 200 rupees by selling
vegetables, but that isn’t even enough to purchase household necessities and school supplies for the
children. Despite this, her husband always manages to get money from her, even if it means arguing with
her or resorting to violence. On several occasions, after drinking heavily, he would physically abuse her.
The children would always cry when he was in these belligerent moods.

One day, Kopila’s children returned home from school during the day because she had been unable to pay
their school fees on time. When she went to the school to resolve the issue, the teacher told her that her
children’s fees had not been paid for three months. She did not have any savings to draw from, and any
extra money was always taken by her husband to purchase alcohol with his friends. Kopila’s husband rarely
gave her any of the money that he earned.

Kopila had heard about the cooperative in the village, but hadn’t had enough time to educate herself on the
details of their activities. She had heard that it was expensive to open a bank account where she could
deposit savings. She had also heard that she would not be able to withdraw her savings when she wanted
and that if she took out a loan to start a business, she would have to pay a high rate of interest. When her
children were expelled from school, Kopila asked her husband to go to the village to obtain a loan.
However, her husband had already taken loans from several households, promising to pay them back, and
spent the money on alcohol. Many households did not believe her husband would pay them back because
he was an alcoholic, his family had no other sources of income, and they had many children. Her husband
went to the local watering hole in an attempt to forget his troubles. Kopila managed to convince the school
to let her children attend for one more month, however, the question remains: how will she manage to pay
her children’s school fees when next month comes around?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 55

Discussion questions:

• What are the sources of income for Kopila’s family?

• What are her family’s expenses?
• What are the necessary expenses? Which ones are unnecessary?
• Which expenses should be prioritized?
• How should we analyze the income and expenditure for Kopila's family? Who should be involved in
the analysis, and creating the financial plan? What will be the role of Kopila’s husband?
• What steps could Kopila and her family take to increase their income?
• What kinds of information on financial management, planning and savings do various members of
the family need to have? What kinds of information should be provided for female members of the
family?
• If household finances are not managed or planned well, does it affect members of the family,
including the children? How?

“It is true that in our community we believed that when a couple sits down
to discuss and make a decision together it could bring bad luck. However,
after BRIGE’s intervention people are starting to see that this is only a bias
and that dialogue among couples is the only way to increase household
resilience. For instance, after the intervention, my wife and I have decided
to divide the money that I earn in the market by two: half of it goes to daily
food expenses of the family and the other half is spared for difficult times,
especially the lean season, or for social events (marriages, funerals, etc.).”
— Zakari, a Household Dialogue participant from Bardouga village, Niger

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 56

Example of a household budget

Head of household:
Date prepared:
Address:
Type of family and number of members:
Budget timeframe:

Income Expenses

# Source Amount Daily / Source Male/ Remarks # Type Amount Daily / Male/ Remarks
(these can be Weekly/ Female (these can be Weekly/ Female
estimates if Monthly (who is estimates if Monthly or (who is
necessary) or Other mainly necessary) Other mainly
related?) related?)

Total Total

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 57

The following reading was used successfully in Nepal. You can adapt the story to your country’s context, or
select another story from the region that illustrates an example of positive household financial management.
A facilitator or participant should read the story aloud, and then participants can identify aspects of the story
that relate to the session’s content.

SAMPLE STORY (NEPAL) ON SUCCESSFUL HOUSEHOLD FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

Sandai’s Pride

His name is Shant Bahadur, but everyone in the village calls him Sandai. He is well loved in the village, and
everyone looks up to him as an example. Sandai works as a guard at the bank. His job is unremarkable, but
he values hard work. He always says, “There is no work that is ever beneath you.”

Every week, the bank deposits his salary into his bank account. He never withdraws the money unless it’s
absolutely necessary. Even if he has to withdraw money, he asks his wife for advice first. The family
discusses what the monthly family income is, what the monthly expenses are, and how to allocate the
income.

Sandai's wife Mithoo is also exemplary. She makes a good income by selling her vegetables, and milk from
her buffaloes. Her income covers the household expenses and the children's education, with some left over
for savings in the local village cooperative (in her own account).

If the household needs money, Mithoo discusses the need with her family and then goes to the cooperative
alone to withdraw the required funds. Mithoo is also a member of the village school management
committee. Sandai used to smoke and drink saying, “A guard’s job is hard, and one has to drink now and
then.” However, Mithoo and their children convinced him to stop drinking. Now he drinks a glass of milk at
lunch while at work. At special occasions, Sandai will have a beer to celebrate, but they always plan for
“unnecessary” expenses together.” He helps his wife with the housework before going into the office. And
when he returns home after work, he enjoys a few hours of work on the farm. Sandai's co-workers admire
his well-managed life. Sandai and his wife have become examples for their community.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 58

Household Dialogue session 8 additional resources: household financial
management and family plans
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Household financial management and family plans are important components of a family’s future well-being.
All members of the family should be financially literate, especially the women and men who are responsible
for earning, managing, and spending money on behalf of the family. Financial management skills and
information improve household’s ability to manage their income and expenses, and increases the prosperity
of the household.

Generally, a household has more expenses than income. Families receive income at certain intervals:
weekly or monthly, but expenses occur daily. Family budgets should prioritize savings and various forms of
income, and focus on decreasing expenses. Expenses can be divided into groups; for example, there are
necessary expenses, manageable expenses and unnecessary expenses. Necessary expenses include
school supplies for the children and healthcare. Manageable expenses include vacations and entertainment,
which are needed from time to time, but should be managed responsibly. Tobacco and alcohol are
examples of unnecessary expenses. Generally, women invest money on necessary expenses such as
family nutrition, education and healthcare.

Below are a few points to keep in mind when managing household finances and preparing a family work-
plan:

• Encourage both women and men family members to participate in all kinds of discussions and plans,
including financial plans.
• Create a family budget, which analyzes income and expenses. Consider which expenses are
necessary, and which are unnecessary. Try to decrease spending on unnecessary items.
• Identify different ways to build savings, for example depositing money into a savings account at a
bank or another trustworthy financial institution.
• Ensure that family members (those capable) are involved in income-generating activities,
entrepreneurship, and skills development. Encourage family members to help out with household
tasks so that women can pursue economic opportunities as well.
• Identify opportunities for small or large investments. Take into account the amount of family savings,
and the specific skills of family members. Mobilize both men and women to participate in income-
generating activities.
• Create joint accounts at the bank, and joint land titles or economic assets. This promotes joint
ownership, and promotes joint decision-making when assets are liquidated, sold or exchanged.

Note to facilitators:
Facilitators can use the materials included in the Mercy Corps’ Financial Literacy: Participant Handbook
Section 9: Pages 150-185, to facilitate these discussions, and provide additional reading materials to the
participants.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 59

Household Dialogue session 9: Potential disasters, disaster
management, and family preparedness
Topics: 1) Potential disasters; 2) Disaster management; 3) Family preparedness; 4) Reducing the risk of
potential disasters; 5) Joint participation of men and women in disaster management

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to identify potential disasters

• be able to indicate ways to manage the impacts of a disaster.
• be able to define family members’ (both women and women) roles in disaster management.
• be able to create a list of necessary items for disaster preparedness.
• be able to discuss the main issues related to disasters, preparedness, and family plans.

Training Materials: flip-chart paper, sticky notes, masking tape, markers, whiteboard.

Method of facilitation: station method (using different locations throughout the room for group activities),
open discussion

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Divide participants into four smaller groups.

2) Post the following questions in four separate areas of the training hall:
• What are examples of potential natural and man-made disasters that impact families and
society?
• What are examples of methods to manage the impact of disasters?
• When families are preparing for disaster management, what things should they keep in
mind? What arrangements should they make?
• What is the role of women family members in disaster preparation and management? How
can their participation be enhanced?
3) Assign each group to a question posted on the wall (their station). Allow participants to discuss the
question for 10 minutes.
4) After 10 minutes, ask participants to rotate to the next station. Again, provide 10 minutes for them to
discuss the new question. Ask participants not to repeat the answers of a previous group while
discussing the question.
5) After all participants have had a chance to rotate through every station, ask them to return to their
first station and present all of the answers to the group.
6) Read aloud the story of Ramila (or other contextualized story), who lost her house in the April 2015
earthquake. Facilitate an open discussion on the various components of the story.
7) Inform participants how to create a disaster risk reduction plan. Facilitate an open discussion, adding
your own points. Reiterate the conclusions reached by the group, and conclude the session.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 60

The following reading was used successfully in Nepal. You can adapt the story to your country’s context, or
select another story from the region that illustrates an example of how lack of decision-making power can
harm a household’s ability to recover after a disaster. A facilitator or participant should read the story aloud,
and then participants can identify aspects of the story that relate to the session’s content.

SAMPLE STORY (NEPAL) ON WORKING TOGETHER TO REBUILD AFTER A DISASTER

What happened when Ramila’s house was destroyed by the earthquake?

Ramila’s house was destroyed by the April 2015 earthquake in Nepal. Even though the earthquake
occurred a long time ago, the house still hasn’t been reconstructed. The earthquake was a very stressful
event for Ramila. After the earthquake she did not know how to take care of herself or her children. She
didn’t know what to do, and what not to do, during a disaster. She was unsure of where to go for help.
Her husband had this knowledge, but he was working abroad when the earthquake struck. Often, after a
disaster, women in the family cannot make their own decisions on how to respond or reconstruct their
homes. Those decisions are reserved for men. Ramila found herself with little decision-making power
and unsure of her next steps.

Ramila has to wait for her husband’s decision before reconstruction on the house can begin. Even
though her husband is far from home, he can make family decisions over the phone. Ramila must ask for
his permission, even though she is the one at home and has a better idea of the family’s realities. This is
difficult not only for Ramila, but also for her husband. Ramila doesn’t have any decision-making power
and repeated phone calls abroad to her husband has resulted in unnecessary stress and depleted
resources.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 61

Household Dialogue session 9 additional resources: potential disasters,
disaster management, and family preparedness
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

Women and children are disproportionately affected by violence, conflict and disasters. Women, children,
elderly people, and the disabled are more affected during and after a disaster. All family members should
participate in making the necessary preparations for disaster prevention and recovery. Including women,
men, girls and boy is critical to ensure that all family members are informed about disaster risk,
preparedness and disaster management issues. This ensures that everyone is capable of handling disasters
when they occur. Community discussions on disaster should include women, because women are more
likely to share their knowledge with other family members, including children.

Disaster risk reduction: refers to the creation of an environment where the destructive effects of natural
and man-made disasters are reduced. This type of preparation requires the participation of all family
members.

Disaster preparedness: refers to early thinking about mitigating the effects of potential disasters on one's
own life, family and community, and conducting the necessary preparations for such an eventuality.

Potential disasters: earthquakes, fires, floods, landslides, droughts, epidemics, forest fires, lightning, etc.

The following list outlines what families should do to plan and prepare for potential disasters and eventual
disaster management.

• Set aside a supply of food and revolving emergency funds.

• Collect and manage non-food relief items for search and rescue, and relief after a disaster.
• Develop an early warning system for disasters. For example, sirens could be set up to warn the
community of potential floods if river levels are dangerously high. Fire alarms could be installed. The
community could develop a system to provide immediate information to community members in the
case of a disaster.
• Plant trees in the community to prevent erosion.
• Coordinate with various social and development groups, organizations and government agencies in
the community, and develop ways to work together.
• Arrange for safe daily shelter, and for shelter in case of disasters.
• Develop the necessary physical infrastructure (e.g., earthquake resilient houses, reinforcement of
river banks, gabion walls, etc.)
• Arrange for insurance to protect assets in the case of a future disaster or emergency.
• Prepare a household disaster risk reduction and preparation plan with full participation of all family
members.
• Create savings for disaster risk reduction and recovery from a disaster.
• Map out potential disaster risks.
• Women may be more vulnerable during a disaster due to their traditional clothing (which often
restricts movement), their lack of access to information and capacity building opportunities, and their
burdensome household and childcare responsibilities. This necessitates special planning and
preparation for them given their circumstances.
• Take special care of pregnant women or new mothers.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 62

• Prepare so that women have the supplies they need to take care of their personal hygiene during
menstruation.
• Increase women’s access to information and capacity-building opportunities.
• Utilize local women as messengers to reach hard-to-reach women in the community.
• Use local languages to increase community members’ access to information.
• Tailor programs according to the local context. Keep in mind that a one-size-fits-all approach is will
not be successful when planning for and responding to disasters.
• Increase community members’ awareness of potential increases in gender-based violence after
disasters occur.
• Encourage the participation of women (including leadership roles) in local disaster risk reduction and
disaster management committees.

Note to Facilitators: Facilitators can use the materials included in the Mercy Corps’ Financial Literacy:
Participant Handbook (pages 3–18 and Section 4: pages 76–92), as additional reading material for
participants.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 63

Household Dialogue session 10: Family harmony and household
action plans
Topics: 1) family harmony; 2) household action plans

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to define relationships between family members and how they treat each other, and how this
relates to family harmony.
• be conversant on positive practices within family life and family interdependence.
• be able to talk about their experiences and plans as they relate to family harmony.

Training Materials: flip-chart paper, sticky notes, masking tape, markers, whiteboard.

Method of facilitation: lottery method, definitions, games

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Hold a discussion with participants using the following questions:

• Who do family members depend on?
• Are family members interdependent (dependent on each other)?
• Has this interdependence led to codependence (excessive emotional or psychological
reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction)?
• Do you have any examples, proverbs, songs or poems related to family interdependence?
• What are some small steps and efforts that can foster family harmony?
• Which family members should make which efforts?
• Do you have any life experiences that you can share related to these concepts?
2) Continue the discussion with the following questions:
• Do women and men both have a role to play in fostering family harmony?
• Does the respectful participation of both women and men family members in household
financial management and other processes impact family harmony? Do you have any
examples of this?
• Does joint decision-making in disaster preparedness and emergency preparations impact
family harmony? Does the knowledge and skills of women and men impact family harmony?
Do you have any examples of this?
3) Discuss with participants the idea that sharing family responsibilities and workload supports family
harmony. When all family members can access opportunities and progress towards their goals,
families as a whole are happier.
4) Divide participants into smaller groups, and ask them to discuss what items they would include in
their household action plan to foster family harmony. Ask them to present their discussions to the
whole group.
5) After participants have completed the first nine sessions of the Household Dialogue training, the
facilitator will ask participants to complete a Household Action Plan (Annex X) as couples, or
alternative pairing (e.g., a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law). Inform participants that facilitators will
conduct follow-up visits to monitor participants’ progress. This is an opportunity for participants to
report on their progress and challenges.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 64

Household Dialogue session 10 additional resources: family harmony and
household action plans
The following reading material can be used when the training session indicates “open discussion.” It can be
read aloud and/or presented to participants to facilitate discussion, or the facilitator can ask open-ended
questions and then use the material to illustrate key points.

A family’s happiness is not just related to its wealth. There are many very wealthy families that are not
happy. Family happiness and harmony is largely dependent on the relationships between its members,
which reveal how they share with and support each other. Families that value the opinions of women, men,
girls and boys are often happier than those that are less balanced. These families are also better able to
manage their finances and be prepared for future emergencies and disaster management.

Family interrelations and interdependence: Family members are interdependent. For example, men are
able to engage in income-generating activities outside of the house only because women in the family have
prepared their meals on time, ensuring that they arrive well-fed and on-time. Women keep the household
running smoothly, caring for children and other household responsibilities, while men devote their time to
work outside of the household. Women’s unpaid work within the household allows other family members to
pursue education, employment and other opportunities. Their contributions should be respected, and
household responsibilities should be shared among all members to decrease women’s workload. If men
participate in household activities, it will free up women’s time so that they can take part in activities outside
of the home such as education or skills training that advance the family’s interests. If women are engaged in
income-generating activities, they will help shoulder the financial responsibility of the household.

Family plans: The family’s plan is usually created by the head of the household, or men in the family. Men
often hold primary decision-making power over matters related to household purchases, land, economic
activities, and children’s education. Women’s opinions are rarely considered and they are usually not asked
to participate in these deliberations. When women are not included in these plans, they are at higher risk
when families experience a shock or stress. For example, if a disaster management plan is created without
the participation of women, they will not have the information to react during a disaster, placing them at
higher risk. Because children are often cared for by women, they too will be at risk.

Male family members’ roles: Male family members have an important role to play in fostering family
harmony. Even small behavior modifications can result in transformative change and increase family
harmony. Sharing of household work, responsibilities and information is especially important. Here are a few
examples that family members should share regularly:

• sharing of news, information and knowledge

• sharing of opportunities
• sharing of responsibilities
• sharing of workload
• sharing of resources
• sharing of happiness, sorrow and progress

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 65

IV. Facilitator Training Sessions
The following sessions 1–6 are meant to be used to train the Household Dialogue Facilitators. A sample
training agenda is included in Annex 1.

Facilitator training session 1: Learning exchange, training

methods and materials
Topics: 1) Learning exchange; 2) Training methods; 3) Materials used for learning exchange and training
methods

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to list at least five methods for learning exchange and training.
• be able to list the materials needed for learning exchange and training.
• be able to list at least 10 points to keep in mind when preparing training materials.

Training Materials: sticky notes with training methods, a container for sticky notes, whiteboard, markers,
and flip-chart.

Method of facilitation: lucky draw method, open discussion, group discussion

Time required: 1 hour 30 minutes (learning exchange and training methods), 1 hour 30 minutes (materials
used for learning exchange and training methods) = 3 hours total

Session details (first hour and a half):

1) Provide facilitators with a definition of “learning exchange” (i.e., an exchange of information between
two or more individuals who are interested in learning from each other’s successes and failures).
2) Write down the various learning exchange and training methods on separate sticky notes and put
them in a container.
3) Ask participants to pick one sticky note from the container and define and give examples about the
method written on the note.
4) Discuss which methods are used for increasing knowledge, which methods are used for teaching
skills, and which methods are used to change perceptions.
5) Discuss which methods are useful for different participants.
6) Discuss which methods are useful for the Household Dialogue training and which methods are
useful for the subsequent door-to-door visits.
7) Discuss effective training methods.
8) Take a break before transitioning to the discussion regarding materials (see below).

Session details (second hour and a half):

1) Divide participants into small groups.

2) Ask participants to prepare a list of materials that are used in learning exchange and training, and
how to use them.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 66

3) Discuss how to select which materials to use in learning exchange and training. Discuss how the
right materials can help active participation in the learning process.
4) Ask facilitators: Does the participant’s level of understanding affect which materials you would use in
the learning process? Why?
5) What materials are suitable for the door-to-door visits conducted during the Household Dialogue
activity?

Materials used during learning exchange and training can vary depending on the participants’ levels of
understanding and the context. The same kind of material may not be useful for every learning process.
Here are some examples of materials you may want to have on hand:

• Household Dialogue Toolkit • Glue stick

• Writings and books, as required • Banner
• Handouts (reading materials) for the • Camera
participants • Certificates
• Audiovisual materials and posters • Notebooks, pens, plastic folders, etc.
• Flip-chart paper • Bell
• Sticky notes • Clock
• Whiteboard, colored markers • Laptop and projector
• Staplers and staples • Slides for presentations
• Scissors • Extension cables, adapters, etc.
• Three-hole punch • Participant attendance sheets
• Masking tape • Training evaluation forms

Facilitator training session 1 reading material: learning exchange, training

methods and materials
Various methods can be used for learning exchange and training. When selecting a training method,
participatory methods are preferred. When participants are actively involved with the training session, they
retain knowledge better. People learn in different ways: learning from “doing” is often more effective for
participants than simply listening or reading. Here are a few examples of methods for learning exchange and
training:

• Lecture • Visual aids to spark discussion (e.g.,

• Group discussion posters, pictures, photos)
• Question and answer • Snowballing method
• Brainstorming • Station method
• Technology-based learning • Idea shopping
• On-the-job training • Storytelling and sharing of experiences
• Coaching/mentoring • Group work
• Games • Individual exercises
• Plenary Discussion • Audio, video, or PowerPoint presentations
• Case studies

Note to the facilitators: The training methods and their appropriate use are discussed in Mercy Corps
Nepal’s Financial Literacy Training Manual (page 7).

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 67

Facilitator training session 2: Preparation and management of
the learning process
Topics: 1) Preparation and management of the learning process

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to prepare a checklist to use for preparation and management of the learning process

Training Materials: flip-chart paper, whiteboard, markers

Method of facilitation: discussion, question and answer, individual exercises

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Discuss what is involved in preparation for learning exchange or trainings.

2) Ask facilitators: What does “training management” mean to you? What important topics are related?
3) Provide facilitators adequate time to prepare and present a checklist for effective learning exchange
and training preparation and management.
4) End the session by discussing the preparation and management of the learning exchange and
training, as well as how to manage the door-to-door visits.

Facilitator training session 2 reading material: Preparation and

management of the learning process
The SALT Method of Training Preparation and Management

Seating Arrangement: One important aspect of the learning process is the participants’ and facilitators’
seating arrangements. Facilitators should create an appropriate seating arrangement before the learning
process starts.

Audio System: The learning process should occur in a quiet environment that allows participants and
facilitators to hear each other. Noisy environments make it difficult to concentrate and act as a barrier to the
teaching and learning process. Choose a private location where external community members cannot come
and go, or influence the discussion.

Lighting: Adequate lighting (not too dark or too bright) will help create an environment conducive to
teaching, learning and discussion.

Temperature: It is important to conduct training sessions in a space with a comfortable temperature, so that
participants can concentrate on the content of the session rather than their comfort.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 68

TABLE 11: HOW TO OBSERVE WHETHER PARTICIPANTS ARE LEARNING AND RESPOND

Observed behaviors What it means What can you do as the facilitator?

Smiling Participants are Conduct the regular training as

Nodding eager to learn and planned, but also include participants’
Active listening understand the suggestions.
Making eye contact topics.
Asking clarification questions

Sleepy Participants may Take a break, or try different teaching

Adjusting seating be tired or methods, such as storytelling, jokes,
Yawning lethargic. games, etc.
Increasingly leaving the room

Confused facial expressions Participants may Ask participants what is unclear and
Scratching their heads be confused about provide clarifying examples.
Constantly looking away the subject matter. If there are 1–2 people who do not
understand the concepts, a discussion
can be held with the smaller group at
another appropriate time.

Methods to evaluate the learning process or training:

After the session,

• Ask participants what they understood and what they didn't
• Ask questions
• Ask participants to fill out a short questionnaire related to the session
• Ask a few of the participants to share their experiences

After the training,

• Ask participants to complete pre- and post-training tests
• Ask participants to complete a training evaluation form
• Conduct participatory training evaluation
• Distribute opinion forms
• Interact with participants
• Listen to participants’ stories

After some time has passed,

• KAP (Knowledge, Attitudes and Practice) Survey
• Interviews
• Target group discussions
• Work completion evaluation
• Observation visits
• Interviews, discussions and seeking stakeholders’ advice

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 69

Facilitator training session 3: Roles and qualities of household
dialogue facilitators
Topics: 1) Roles and qualities of household dialogue facilitators

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to define the role and qualities of an effective facilitator

• be able to list basic rules of learning
• be able to prepare a list of the roles and qualities of a good family dialogue facilitator.

Training Materials: sticky notes, whiteboard, markers

Method of facilitation: open discussion

Time required: 1 hour 30 minutes

Session details:

1) Facilitate a discussion about the qualities of an effective facilitator and what roles they need to play.
2) Ask participants to prepare a list of facilitators’ roles and qualities they should possess.
3) Present the basic rules of learning, and explain the AEIOU tips for effective facilitation (see below).
4) Discuss the things to keep in mind when facilitating question and answer sessions, and define the
APPLE method (see below).
5) At the end of the session, ask participants what additional roles a facilitator should play, and the
additional qualities they should have to be effective during their door-to-door visits. Create a list of
areas of consensus from the discussion.
6) Through participatory discussion, create a list of things that household dialogue facilitators should
and shouldn't do during their door-to-door visits. Also, discuss specific things facilitators should be
mindful of.
7) Conduct several roleplays of door-to-door visits so that facilitators have an opportunity to practice
and receive feedback from their trainers and peers.

Facilitator training session 3 reading material: roles and qualities of effective household dialogue
facilitators

Basic rules of learning: There are various rules related to learning, a few of which are presented here. These
simple rules of learning can help during the learning exchange process.

• People tend to remember things from the beginning and the end of a session. Therefore, if important
points are made at the beginning and the end, it will be easier for participants to remember them.
• If learning is fun and interactive, participants will remember the lessons.
• Participants will likely remember the issues that were discussed interactively.
• Repeated exercises help participants retain knowledge for a long time.
• Informal teaching methods bring can make the learning process more relaxed and effective.
• Engaging multiple senses can be an effective method of learning. For example, when participants
are engaged in their own learning, it is more effective than just seeing or hearing.
• Learning that is followed by individual exercises results in better knowledge retention.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 70

The APPLE Method for question and answer sessions

Ask: Pose questions or discussion topics very clearly so that everyone understands.

Pause: Do not expect an answer immediately after you pose a question. Pause for a few seconds to give
participants a chance to think.

Point: Point towards the person who you would like to answer the question. If it is an open-ended question,
encourage everyone to provide an answer.

Listen: After asking the question, the facilitator should listen attentively. Do not get distracted after asking
the question. If participants sense that you are not paying attention to them as they are speaking, they might
feel ignored.

Evaluate: What kinds of responses did you receive? Thank participants for their responses and relate it
back to the discussion topic. Even if the answer is off-topic or incorrect, you should never point this out
because it could make the participants feel ashamed.

AEIOU tips for the learning process

The tips below will help the facilitator make the learning process more interactive and effective:

• Attentive, active listener

• Encouraging, entertaining, exciting
• Interesting, involved
• Outreach, objective-focused
• Understanding, useful

Roles and Qualities of the Facilitator / Trainer

Roles: Researcher, leader, preparer, planner, decision-maker, communicator, manager, organizer,

evaluator, mediator (as required), problem-solver

Qualities: friendly, accountable, polite, wears appropriate clothing, clear communication, fearless, treats
everyone equally, adaptable, makes eye contact and gestures, can manage emotions, follows the learning
plan and session plan, participant-focused, able and willing to prepare and work with the resources
available, able and willing to understand the general sentiment of the participants, self-learner, creative,
trustworthy, resilient, disciplined, knowledgeable of local languages, patient, helpful, expertise in the subject
matter, able to make quick decisions when required, engaging, respectful, honest, inclusive.

Things Household Dialogue facilitators should keep in mind when going door-to-door:

• Make all necessary preparations for the door-to-door visits before departing.
• Ask both male and female family members for their time and make sure they clearly understand the
household dialogue program and how it can help the family.
• Maintain rapport with all family members you visit.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 71

• Create a calendar of families’ availability, and schedule your visits accordingly so that the families’
work is not directly affected.
• Do not be in a rush during your door-to-door visits. If family members are busy, be prepared to wait a
while for them to finish their tasks.
• During the discussions, use clear and simple language, using the local language as much as
possible.
• If family members are busy or are going through a difficult time, do not insist on a discussion. Come
back later to visit.
• Remain alert to ensure that the household dialogue facilitator’s door-to-door visits do not create
difficulties, problems or disputes in the family.
• Encourage family members to discuss topics from the household dialogue training.
• Wear clothing that is culturally appropriate in the community where you are working.
• Respect the women (including single and widowed women), elderly people, children, and cultural
differences in the family.
• Be sensitive in your manner of speaking and be friendly with everyone. Do not engage in any kind of
discrimination.
• Start with an informal discussion, and slowly transition to the household dialogue discussion topics.
• When family members are talking, do not use your phone, or talk about a different subject. Give your
full attention to the family throughout your visit.
• If you encounter problems, or questions that you don't know the answer to, or are outside your scope
of responsibility, bring those up with the relevant agencies or organizations. Do not pretend to be
knowledgeable about things you are unfamiliar with, or are outside your scope of responsibility.

Facilitator training session 4: Training session plan

Topics: 1) Training session plan

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be able to describe a training session, and why it is necessary.

• be able to list the various components of a training session plan.
• be able to prepare an example training session plan.

Training Materials: training session plan example, A4 paper for exercises

Method of facilitation: open discussion and participant exercises

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Facilitate an open discussion on why a session plan is necessary for training and learning exchange.
2) Provide each participant with a copy of the training session plan example. Discuss how to prepare a
session plan and what topics are included.
3) Give participants time to prepare individual session plans. As they engage in this individual exercise,
rotate around the room to provide necessary information and support.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 72

Facilitator training session 4: Training session plan

(Use this example to provide facilitators with practice developing their own training session plan)

Session topic:

Sub-topic(s):

Objectives:

Time required:

Training materials:

Methods of facilitation:

Session details:

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

Session evaluation and conclusion:

Reading and background materials related to the session:

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 73

Facilitator training session 5: How to facilitate sensitive topics
such as gender-based violence
Topics: 1) How to create a safe space for participants; 2) Confidentiality; 3) Statements of blame; 4)
Inclusive discussions; 5) Tips for talking with survivors

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• know how to create a safe space in which participants can share their opinions and experiences.
• understand the importance of confidentiality and know what to do if it is violated.
• know how to deflect and redirect statements of blame.
• gain the skills to facilitate an inclusive discussion in which everyone can contribute.
• be able to act if a GBV survivor confides in them.

Training materials: flip-chart paper and markers.

Method of facilitation: Group discussion, lecture, and role-plays.

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

1) Explain to participants that it is important to create an inclusive and respectful environment when
talking about sensitive topics such as gender-based violence. Divide participants into groups of 4–5
people, and ask each group to write down elements of an inclusive and respectful environment. Ask
each group to share their ideas. Create a list of “ground rules” based on the participants’ ideas to
create a supportive and productive atmosphere. Examples may include: do not interrupt others
when they are speaking, ensure the confidentiality of participants’ contributions, do not use
identifying names or information if talking about someone else’s experience, allow everyone the
chance to speak, do not discount others’ experiences, etc.
2) Inform participants that in their roles as facilitators, they may encounter GBV survivors (whether
they are aware of it, or not). The training topics may potentially touch upon participants’ own
experiences, memories, or ongoing struggles, therefore it is critical to approach these topics with
care.
3) Provide participants with examples of scenarios they may encounter, and guidance on how to react
(see examples below).
• How to navigate a discussion where participants violate confidentiality: From the
beginning, ask participants not to share identifying names or information when talking about
someone else’s experiences. If someone begins a statement with identifying information,
politely stop them and remind them of the ground rules. If the subject of the story has
already been identified, ask the participant not to share the story.
• How to deflect and redirect statements of blame: When discussing gender-based
violence, it is possible that participants will make statements that place blame on the
survivors. This is dangerous because it makes it more difficult for survivors to report abuse
and can reinforce self-blame. In these cases, redirect the conversation, emphasizing that

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 74

gender-based violence is never the survivor’s fault. Make it clear that no one’s behavior
warrants blame.
• How to ensure everyone has an opportunity to participate in the discussion: In some
cases, breaking the group into smaller groups provides an opportunity for everyone to
contribute ideas and opinions. However, you may encounter instances where a few
individuals dominate the discussion while others remain quiet. In these cases, you may
thank those individuals for their contributions, but suggest that the group hear from
everyone. Possible responses could include:
– “I appreciate your contributions, but I’d like to hear from some participants that
haven’t had the chance to speak yet.”
– “Does anyone else have something they would like to share?”
– “Let’s return to that idea after we’ve heard from everyone in the group.”
– “That’s an interesting point, does anyone have something they would like to add?”
• How to end a session that is headed in an unhealthy direction: If a group discussion
escalates to the point where it is unwise to continue, calmly tell the group that everyone will
take a 15-minute break before transitioning to a new topic. If necessary, you can speak to
individuals during the break about comments made during the session.
• How to react if a participant shares their experience as a GBV survivor: If a participant
confides in you, it is important to listen without judgement and help the survivor feel calm.
Possible responses could include:
– “I’m very sorry. This shouldn’t have happened to you.”
– “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve this.”
– “You’re not alone. I’m here to listen or help in any way I can.”
– “How can I help you?”
– “I can provide information about possible actions to take, but the decisions regarding
how to move forward are yours.”
– “If you have questions I cannot answer, I will do my best to find the answers for
you.”
Respect the survivor's right to make their own decisions, and be aware of your own biases
and prejudices. Make it clear that even if s/he does not want to seek help now, they can still
access help in the future. If the survivor does wish to seek help, refer them to additional
support (see Facilitator session 6).
4) Participatory learning such as role-plays can be an effective way for participants to practice their
facilitation skills. Ask for volunteers and provide prompts based on the examples provided above.
Role-plays allow participants to practice skills in a safe environment where they can receive
feedback from their peers. Some participants may be reluctant to participate in role-plays, but
encourage them to practice their skills so that their response will be much easier (and more
effective).

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 75

Facilitator training session 6: How to refer gender-based violence
(GBV) survivors
This session is specific to Mercy Corps policies and procedures, but can be adapted to align with other
organizations’ procedures.

Topics: 1) Key definitions; 2) Facilitators’ responsibilities; 3) Referral pathways for survivors

Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will:

• be familiar with key definitions related to gender-based violence.

• understand Mercy Corps’ minimum standards related to gender-based violence.
• know their responsibilities, and be able to act if they encounter instances of gender-based violence.
• gain the knowledge to refer gender-based survivors to the appropriate authorities or resources.

Training materials: Gender-based violence definitions (see Annex 5), Mercy Corps’ Gender Procedures:
Policy in Action, gender-based violence referral sheets (see Annex 6), gender-based violence resources
(see Annex 7), flip-chart paper, and markers.

Method of facilitation: Group discussion, lecture, and role-plays.

Time required: 2 hours

Session details:

5) Divide participants into groups of 4–5 people, and ask each group to develop a definition of gender-
based violence together and write it on a piece of flip-chart paper. Once everyone has finished, ask
each group to share their definition.
6) Discuss the different aspects of the definitions as a group, and then provide participants with the
following (correct) definition of GBV:
7) Gender-based violence is an umbrella term for any harmful act that is perpetrated against a
person’s will and that is based on socially ascribed (i.e., gender) differences between females and
males. It includes acts that inflict physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering, threats of such acts,
coercion, and other deprivations of liberty. These acts can occur in public or in private. 11
8) Provide participants with a list of gender-based violence definitions (see Annex 5), and provide
participants with 5–10 minutes to read the definitions to themselves. Facilitate a group discussion
about the terms (e.g., what terms are they already familiar with? Did any definitions surprise them?
Are any terms missing?)
9) Explain to participants Mercy Corps’ two minimum standards related to gender-based violence: 1)
Mercy Corps is responsible for ensuring, to the greatest degree possible, the safety of our program
participants; 2) it is a responsibility of every Mercy Corps office to know where they can refer a GBV
survivor for assistance.

11
Inter-Agency Standing Committee. 2015. Guidelines for Integrating Gender-Based Violence Interventions in Humanitarian Action: Reducing
risk, promoting resilience and aiding recovery.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 76

10) Inform participants that, given the sensitive nature of household dynamics, it is very likely that
facilitators will encounter instances of gender-based violence.
11) Facilitators must be knowledgeable about the local health, psychosocial, safety, and justice services
available to survivors. It is important that facilitators look for signs that GBV is ongoing or increasing
during follow-up household visits.
12) There are different ways to inform participants about the locally available services that can assist an
individual seeking assistance for their medical, psychosocial, safety or justice needs. To facilitate
this, they can invite family members to give feedback individually or in single-sex groups. Reach out
to women and girls, who may have essential contributions but may not come forward unless asked
for their opinions directly in a safe space. Adolescent girls are often the most vulnerable, most
difficult to reach and most excluded group in assessments, program design and implementation.
13) Make clear to participants that they are not trained to provide direct GBV services, but can always
refer survivors or those threatened by GBV to other resources. Resources and referrals can include
community members, religious/faith community, area CSOs, and health care providers that can
provide appropriate medical, psychosocial and justice support, as well as safe shelter. Remind
participants that when working with GBV survivors, it is critical to always act in the best interest of
the survivor and recognize their right to choose treatment (or not).
14) Provide participants with gender-based referral sheets (see Annex 6). You can either pass out blank
sheets or fill the information in together, or if you are concerned with issues of accuracy, you may
pre-fill the sheets with the required information and then discuss the resources together.
15) Ask for volunteers to take part in a role-playing exercise. In this exercise, the training facilitators can
play the part of Household Dialogue family members. Participants can play the part of facilitators
(since they will soon assume that role)! Ask participants to act out a scenario in which they are
conducting follow-up monitoring visits with families. As training facilitators, you can role play a
variety of scenarios, depending on the context. Depending on the scenario, participants should refer
you to the proper organization including the address, transport options, hours of operation, services
provided, restrictions, and cost. Throughout the role plays, offer constructive feedback to
participants and ensure that they are interacting with “family members” in an appropriate fashion.
16) Address any lingering questions from participants before concluding the session, and provide
participants with additional gender resources (see Annexes 5, 6, 7) for their review at home.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 77

HOW TO SUPPORT GBV SURVIVORS 12
• Always act in the best interest of the survivor.
• Respect the survivor’s wishes. She or he has the right to choose their course of
treatment.
• Ask for the survivor’s consent. Survivors have the right to choose their path of
healing, and this helps to empower them and build their coping skills.
• Guarantee confidentiality. Respect the rights and dignity of each survivor.
• Ensure nondiscrimination. 13
• Ensure physical safety of the survivor and responders.
• Provide swift access to medical care and psychosocial support.
• Understand local laws, judicial procedures, traditional justice, and customary
law. Know how they are enforced in practice. Provide referrals for legal counsel.
• Consider the possibility of re-victimization, stigmatization and victim blaming.

12
Mercy Corps’ Gender Procedures, Policy in Action

13
Non-discrimination seeks to guarantee that human rights are exercised without discrimination of any kind based on race, colour, sex,
language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status such as disability, age, marital and family
status, sexual orientation and gender identity, health status, place of residence, economic and social situation.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 78

Visual materials you can use during the training
Below is a sample list of videos that can be shown during the training to ensure participants understand the
concepts. The facilitator can use these, and other videos they have collected during the training.

1) Video to illustrate gender inequality in professions:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3Aweo-74kY

2) Men-care state of the world’s fathers:

http://men-care.org/

3) Care video on engaging men:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUA01CB_aVE&feature=youtu.be

4) Indian ads challenging gender stereotypes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJukf4ifuKs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tsAMNvt2qg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaJf0mNMqos

5) Song by Lochan Bhattarai and Pabitra Subba:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lft2jm6CBfM&t=364s

6) Episodes of Satyamev Jayate related to gender, GBV topics (in Hindi):

https://www.youtube.com/user/satyamevajayateshow

7) The Impossible Dream, United Nations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2JBPBIFR2Y

8) UNDP Nepal - Deconstructing Gender Stereotypes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMmJxUC7i8I&list=PLtX2TE02RTh02gm74qZjeBqeQuGs1oLjx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c8-e4K1aMI

9) Domestic violence in Timor-Leste:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6czjeeq9x8&feature=youtu.be (English subtitles)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44Eygw4g_pE&feature=youtu.be (Tetun subtitles)

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 79

References for Household Dialogue Training Manual
Building Resilience through the Integration of Gender (BRIGE) Nepal, Family Dialogue Training Outline
(2017), Mercy Corps Nepal, Lalitpur, Nepal.
Financial Literacy Training Gender Training Session: Materials for Facilitators (2017), Mercy Corps Nepal,
Lalitpur, Nepal.
Gender Training to Improve Couples’ Dialogue, Lessons from the Implementation of a Household-based
Approach in Niger, Mercy Corps International.
Gender and Resilience Assessment Report (2017), Mercy Corps Nepal, Lalitpur, Nepal.
Household Decision Making Spectrum Tool (2017), Mercy Corps Nepal, Lalitpur, Nepal.
Khadka Sanjay, Middleton Eleanor, Kuruti, Suffering for Culture (2014), SOCH Nepal, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Khatri, Bishnu Bahadur, Shrestha, Shailesh, Lohani, Maya, Oli, Nawaraj, Handbook for Gender Focal Points
(2017), UNICEF Nepal and Stri Shakti, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Khatri, Bishnu Bahadur, Shrestha, Shailesh, Handbook for Youth Capacity Building (2016), Stri Shakti,
Kathmandu, Nepal.
Khatri, Bishnu Bahadur, Shrestha, Shakuntala, Gender Equality Training Handbook for the Private Sector
(2015), Employers' Commission, Federation of National Chambers of Commerce and Industries, Teku,
Kathmandu, Nepal.
Khatri, Bishnu Bahadur, Shrestha, Shailesh, Handbook on Gender Based Violence (2014), Alliance for
Peace, Stri Shakti, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Khatri, Bishnu Bahadur, Bhattarai, Tara, Gender Awareness and Women's Participation Training Guide
(2007), Nepal Red Cross Society, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Khadka, Sanjay, Kunwar, Logsari, Religion, Marriage and Women (2016), SOCH Nepal, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Financial Literacy Training Handbook (2014), Earthquake Recovery Program, Financial Services Initiative,
Mercy Corps Nepal, Lalitpur, Nepal.
Financial Literacy Training Participants' Handbook (2014), Earthquake Recovery Program, Financial
Services Initiative, Mercy Corps Nepal, Lalitpur, Nepal.
Financial Literacy Training Participants' Handbook (2017), with complementary material and additional
sessions, Earthquake Recovery Program, Financial Services Initiative, Mercy Corps Nepal, Lalitpur, Nepal.
Poster: Effects of Violence Against Women, Published by: UNFPA, Office of the Prime Minister and Cabinet
of Ministers, WOREC Nepal, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Violence Based on Social Gender Discriminations: Training Guide (2011), Government of Nepal, Ministry of
Women, Children and Social Welfare, WOREC Nepal, UNFPA, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Violence Based on Social Gender Discriminations: Textbook (2011), Government of Nepal, Ministry of
Women, Children and Social Welfare, WOREC Nepal, UNFPA, Kathmandu, Nepal
Shrestha, Shailesh, Shrestha, Anantalaxmi, Chakravorty, Renu, Clarifying Gender and Sustainable
Development Concepts: Training Guide, Stri Shakti, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Shrestha, Shailesh, Reading Materials for Gender Based Violence Training, Stri Shakti, Kathmandu, Nepal.
Shrestha, Shailesh, Gender and Good Governance: Training of Trainers' Guide (2007), Stri Shakti,
Kathmandu, Nepal.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 80

V. Household decision-making tool
Purpose The intent of the Household Decision-making tool is to assess household decision-making
dynamics across different decision domains relevant for resilience. It helps identify
decision-making patterns that hinder resilience for households, women, and children.

Time required To administer the survey: 45 minutes per person

Enumerator training and survey pre-testing: 2 days
Additional formative research recommended for informing/adjusting the questions asked

Instructions Preparation: Contextualize the survey for the target region, considering which information
is necessary for the household (e.g., migration), and which types of decisions are relevant.
Train enumerators to use the survey tool, with particular focus on how to interpret and
report responses along the decision-making scale.
Before the interview begins, inform participants about the purpose of the research, provide
contact information, and ask for participants’ informed consent (see sample in Annex 2
from the Gender, Agriculture, and Assets Project or guidance from the World Health
Organization).
Using the questions below, interview men and women separately, with an interviewer of
the same gender, in a space that ensures privacy, because some questions are
sensitive. 14 You may interview the same couples multiple times over a set period to
assess changes in decision-making dynamics.

Identification: Identify the primary decision-makers relevant to the program context. Usually these are
adults considered the heads of household. Typically, this is a husband and wife, but may
also be an in-law or daughter-in-law where joint/extended households are common. In
other contexts, mother and son pairs may be relevant.

Analysis Collate the data and analyze the responses for each question. Under Section B, the
possible responses include “yes,” “no,” or “somewhat.” “Yes” responses correspond to full
knowledge of a household’s financial situation and represent the foundation for more
transparent and equitable household decision-making.
Under Section C, possible responses include: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, n/a, or “refused to answer.”
The “ideal” response for each question is “4” or “5,” which correspond to “joint decisions”
or “autonomy.” These responses reflect greater equity in decision-making for previously
excluded decision-makers. 15
Because a “5” response (autonomy) is not necessarily more desirable than a “4” response
(joint decision-making), it is not recommended to average the response values (1-5) into a
single score. Instead, calculate a household score based on the aggregate percentage of
decision responses that are either a “4” or “5.”

14
If a gender action plan (a separate document) is being used, this can be discussed in the same visit, with both genders together.
15
The section below, “Lessons from applying the tool,” further discusses the notion of “ideal” responses.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 81

Below are sample approaches to aggregate data and report results:
- % of households who report full knowledge of the household’s financial situation
(i.e., a response of “yes” to Section B questions)
- % of households who report equitable decision-making behavior (i.e., a response
of either a “4” or “5”) for specific decisions in Section C
- % of households who report equitable decision-making behavior (i.e., a response
of either a “4” or “5”) for a certain percentage (e.g., 80%) of decisions in Section C
- Which decisions have the highest (lowest) percentage of households reporting
equitable decision-making
- Which decisions have the greatest discrepancy in responses between male and
females in the same household
Further suggestions for how to analyze and interpret the data are in the sections following
the interview questions.

Section A: Household Characteristics 16

1) Household ID #:

2) Village:

3) Name of primary male decision-maker:

4) Age of primary male decision-maker:

5) Education/literacy level of primary male decision-maker:

6) Name of primary female decision-maker:

7) Age of primary female decision-maker:

8) Education/literacy level of primary female decision-maker:

9) Relationship between primary female and male decision-maker (e.g., married, in-law, mother/son):

10) Household structure (monogamous vs. polygynous, joint vs. nuclear):

11) Has the primary male or female decision-maker migrated in the past year?

12) Duration of migration (less than 1 month, 1-6 months, greater than 6 months):

13) Was the migration domestic or international?

16
This section can be adjusted to account for additional decision-makers that influence household decisions (e.g. adult children, mother-in-
law, etc).

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 82

Section B: Intra-household information17
Enumerator: Next, I would like to learn about how you manage household finances. There are no right or
wrong answers.

1) Do you have a household budget?

2) Do you discuss the budget together as a couple?

3) Do you know how much your household’s main crop was sold for in the past year?

4) Do you know how much your spouse earns?

Section C: Decision-making dynamics

Enumerator: Now I would like to ask you a few questions to learn how you make decisions in your family.
There are no right or wrong answers. If the question I am asking is unclear, please let me know. For each of
the following activities, how does the household make a decision? (Enumerator chooses and records
appropriate response from 1–5 below. Note that it may be important to “probe” to understand the real
situation, as behavior can be nuanced—see example in box 2.)

1 2 3 4 5 n/a
Secrecy: Permission: Consulting: Joint Autonomy: N/A:
Head of Wife consults Head of Decision: A woman This
household her husband household Husband and can make decision is
decides alone. before making consults his wife discuss decisions not relevant
He may or may decision. Wife wife before and decide on her own to the
19
not inform his needs making together. without family
wife afterwards. husband’s decision. consulting
permission. her
18
husband.

17
These questions focus on decisions between husband and wife, but are adaptable for decisions made with other kinds of primary
decisionmaker (e.g. mother-in-law, adult children).

18
Women may not necessarily inform men of these decisions, and some may be taken in secret (e.g. contraception decisions, food
purchases)

19
In other words, not a decision they have made before or would make in the future. For example, no one has access to this service (e.g.,
credit from a formal lender) or the decision referenced is not acceptable. Note that this response option should not be used if the respondent
refuses to answer; in this case, record decline to state instead of n/a.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 83

Financial decisions: Box 2. Sample Conversation between
1) Borrow from a group-based microfinance or lending an Enumerator (E) and a Female
organization (e.g., SACCO, VSLA) Respondent (FR):

2) Borrow from an informal lender E: When your household decides to sell a

large animal such as a cow, how would
3) Apply for credit with a formal lender (e.g., bank,
you make that decision?
financial institution)

4) Whether/how to save money FR: My husband sells it.

Investment and livelihood decisions: E: Does he ask for your opinion or tell you
5) To purchase a large animal before he sells it?

6) To purchase a small animal

FR: Yes, he asks me if it is the right time
7) To purchase land to sell the cow.

8) To rent land Enumerator marks “3: Consulting” for this

question.
9) How to allocate household’s agricultural land
between household members to cultivate

10) Whether [specify household member] migrates for work

11) Whether you can work outside the home to generate income

12) How to spend your own earnings

Assest Divestment:
13) The sale of a large animal belonging to the man or household

14) The sale of a large animal belonging to the woman

15) The sale of a small animal belonging to the woman

16) The sale of jewelry or personal items belonging to the woman

Household expenditures:
17) How to spend income earned from selling crops/livestock/livestock products [ask separately about
income-generating activities that men and women manage]

18) What type of food to buy

19) How to pay for school fees, health care, etc.

Access to information and mobility:

20) Whether a woman (the wife) can own a cell phone

21) Whether a woman can participate in a training, event, or meeting in the village

22) Whether a woman can participate in a training, event, or meeting outside the village

23) Whether a woman can belong to a community organization

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 84

24) Whether a woman can go to a health center in the village (for herself or her children)

25) Whether a woman can go to a health center outside the village (for herself or her children)

26) Whether a woman can visit relatives outside the village

27) Whether a woman can go to the market

To prepare for and cope with shocks and emergencies 20:

28) How to prepare for (specify shock according to local context, e.g., drought, flood; specify
preparation action, e.g. how much food to store vs. consume)

29) How to respond to (specify shock according to local context)

30) Borrow emergency money from a family member, neighbor, or friend

Section D: Supplementary qualitative questions:

1) Of the decisions we have discussed, are there any decisions in which you want to have more of a
say? Why or why not?

2) Of the decisions we have discussed, are there any decisions in which you think your spouse should
have more of a say? Why or why not?

3) For decisions in which you do not have much of a say, why do you think this is?

4) For decisions in which your spouse does not have much of a say, why do you think this is?

5) [For men only]: What do you think your spouse would say if he/she had more input into (decision
specified to project context)?

6) Are there any decisions where you disagree with your spouse of household? Why is there
disagreement?

7) Which decisions do you prefer to make individually without your spouse/head of household? Why?

20
Additional questions on specific actions for preparing for and coping with shocks that are locally relevant should be included here.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 85

Interpretation and analysis
Data collected through the Household Decision-Making Tool can be analyzed in different ways according to
program goals and needs.

Section B: Intra-household
Information
• Assess whether information sharing
occurs within the household. If not, it may
be difficult for women to participate in
budgetary decisions.

Section C: Household Decision-

making
• Assess the degree of decision-making for
different decision domains between men
and women and how decision-making
changes over time. Which kinds of
Scale of Household Decision-
decisions are more likely to change and
which are more stubborn?
making Behaviors
Recent research in Niger 21 suggests that
• Identify decision-making patterns that
decision-making among couples is not
hinder resilience and/or inclusion in
necessarily a linear process. The
resilience programming.
"consulting" behavior in decision-making
• If additional data on resilience capacities
is the foundation for "joint decision-
or well-being outcomes are collected,
making" and "autonomy/role flexibility"
correlate decision-making power with
behaviors, wherein women have greater
other resilience capacities and/or well-
agency and input into decisions. However,
being outcomes to analyze which groups
after the "consulting" level, women's
of women (e.g., economic status,
agency does not necessarily increase with
ethnicity, household structure, etc.) have
each additional level. Higher levels are not
more decision-making power and why.
always preferable; for example, "role
flexibility" does not correspond to greater
Section D: Supplementary agency for women than "joint decision-
Qualitative Questions making," nor is it necessarily preferable,
• Which attitudes and beliefs of men cause
depending on the type of the decision.
them to discourage women from
participating in decision-making? Which
of these could be addressed through gender trainings?
• For which decisions are men open to increasing women’s participation?
• Which decisions do men and women want to make privately, and why?
• What are possible areas of conflict or disagreement that could be a focus for mediation?

21
Doka, M. (2017) The Dyamics of Household and Financial Decision-making. Portland, OR: Mercy Corps.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 86

Lessons from applying the tool
What is the “best” or most equitable kind of decision-making? Is joint
decision-making always ideal?
The way decisions are made affects household outcomes that influence both resilience and women’s
empowerment. For many decisions, decision-making that enhances women’s empowerment also
strengthens resilience. However, not all decisions have the same value for women’s empowerment, or for
resilience. Below are are some considerations when analyzing the decision-making data.
Individual vs. joint decision-making: While joint decisions can be a sign of cooperative decision-making,
and individual decisions may indicate autonomy, which type of decision-making is strategic for resilience and
women’s empowerment? This varies by type of decision. For example, there is a clear difference between
deciding to purchase land vs. deciding for a woman to go alone to the health center. Especially in strained
relationships, women may want to make some decisions individually. For example, women may hide income
or a savings account from a husband to protect funds for personal needs, or they may wish to have the final
say over their own health decisions. Women may prefer to make other kinds of decisions jointly, such as
increasing a husband’s involvement in decisions about childcare.
Strategic vs. routine decisions: Decision-making power over household domains that were traditionally
the wife’s responsibility (e.g., what to cook), is unlikely to reflect empowerment. Empowerment is expansion
of the capacity to make strategic and meaningful choices among those previously denied this capacity. 22
Therefore, having a say in new decisions is more likely to reflect an expansion of power. While routine
decisions, such as what to cook, do affect household resilience, it is not clear that changing the balance of
power behind these decisions would improve outcomes.
Decision-making power vs. access to information: Deciding how to respond to shocks and stressors is
not easy given high uncertainty, limited resources, and limited access to information. To support households
in making resilient decisions, access to the information and knowledge needed to make informed decisions
can be as important as equitable decision-making.

Given that decision-making is self-reported, how can enumerators ensure

respondents are able to respond accurately and do not feel pressured to
provide certain responses?
To support respondents in accurately describing their experiences with decision-making, they need to trust
the enumerator and understand the question.
First, field agents and interviewers need to establish trust with community members, clarify that there is no
“right answer” to the questions, and ensure privacy by administering the tool separately to men and women
in the household. It is important to use enumerators of the same gender as the interviewees. Informed
consent statements ensure that participation is voluntary and that people do not feel pressured to respond.
Respondents can be encouraged to ask questions of the interviewers to aid in their understanding. Informed
consent statements allow participants to decline to answer questions if they feel uncomfortable.

22
Kabeer, N. 1999. Resources, agency, achievements: Reflections on the measurement of women’s empowerment. Development and
Change, 30(3), 435–464. doi:10.1111/1467-7660.00125

Kabeer, N. 2017. Economic Pathways to Women’s Empowerment and Active Citizenship: What Does The Evidence From Bangladesh Tell
Us?, The Journal of Development Studies, 53:5, 649-663, DOI: 10.1080/00220388.2016.1205730

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 87

Enumerators should distinguish between questions that respondents do not consider applicable to them
(“n/a”) and those that they decline to answer.
Second, participants need to understand the question and make a judgment about how to respond
accurately. Asking specific, locally relevant questions is key. More general questions (e.g., “Who makes
decisions about your healthcare?”) can have very different interpretations (e.g., buying medicine or seeking
antenatal care in a distant location), leading to incomparable responses. The enumerator can indicate
whether the question is hypothetical or retrospective. For example, the enumerator may ask, “If you had to
make this decision, who would make it?” Alternatively, the enumerator could ask, “In the past year when you
made decision (blank), who participated in the decision?” This will help clarify responses. The close-ended
response options provided will always be a simplification of reality, so programs should adjust the response
options in new iterations. Enumerators must explain the options clearly and seek guidance on how to
interpret respondents’ answers. Using storytelling, vignettes, or hypothetical scenarios grounded in local
context can accurately present a specific decision, and if framed neutrally can help minimize bias.23, 24
Finally, a good rule of thumb is whether it passes the “can I answer my own survey question?” test.25
When the household decision-making tool is applied in the context of a household dialogue intervention,
respondents may report more equitable decision-making than they actually practice. Conversely, gender
equity discussions may lead to a realization that decision-making is more inequitable than previously
thought. For example, in the Niger pilot, the household decision-making data yielded high levels of equitable
decision-making power at baseline, lower levels immediately after the intervention, and highest levels some
6 months after the end of the intervention after regular follow-up.
To shift gender norms and intra-household dynamics takes time, but attitudes around decision-making may
change before the pattern of decision-making itself changes. The supplementary qualitative questions serve
to monitor changes among values and attitudes that affect decision-making, such as men’s trust in women’s
judgment, women’s own aspirations, and points of disagreement. Conducting the tool over time can help
interpret findings.

How to handle unique situations (e.g., polygamy, migrant spouse, extended

household structures, and additional decision-makers)?
Husbands and wives are not the only people who make important decisions for household well-being. For
example, friends or family members outside the household may be consulted; and negotiations with children
can influence inter-generational transfers like inheritance. With this in mind, programs can identify the key
relationships they want to study. Formative research, drawing on secondary data and/or qualitative fieldwork
is critical to define the focus.
For polygynous households, programs can either interview the husband and all wives, or randomize which
wife is interviewed per polygynous household. Additional questions to capture the wife’s status and decision-
making about a second wife and brideprice may be relevant in this context.

23
Sproule, K., Kovarik, C. 2014. Cognitive testing and vignettes: Lessons from WEAI fieldwork in Bangladesh and Uganda. Presentation at
IFPRI Gender Methods Seminar.
24
Malapit, H., Sproule, K., Kovarik, C. 2017. Using cognitive interviewing to improve the Women’s Empowerment in Agriculture Index survey
instruments: Evidence from Bangladesh and Uganda. Journal of Gender, Agriculture and Food Security 2(2):1–22
25
Glennerster, R., Walsh, C. 2017. Is it time to rethink how we measure women’s household decision-making power in impact evaluation?
Innovations for Poverty Action.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 88

If programs wish to include couples where one spouse is a seasonal migrant, programs may strategically
schedule data collection for when migrants are more likely to be at home, although in some cases this may
coincide with a greater period of agricultural work. Innovations like speaking to the migrant by cell phone
while he or she is away from home would certainly be worth exploring. For couples with a seasonal migrant,
enumerators should clarify whether the questions apply to decisions at times when the migrant spouse is at
home or away.

What affects decision-making power?

It is important to recognize that decision-making is embedded in structural inequalities that affect how two
people relate to each other. Women’s education, assets, income, and age at marriage or age-gap with her
husband are all important individual factors influencing women’s decision-making power 26. Factors outside
the household, such as group membership, community norms and institutions, also affect power relations in
the household. Men’s attitudes about women, as well as their own ideas of masculinity, influence their
behavior towards women and towards gender-based violence in communities or households. These
attitudes also affect bargaining power and access to information that influences decisions. You may add
these topics to the decision-making tool or collect additional research. This could aid in understanding which
factors influence decision-making in a specific context, and which strategies might work to shift them.

What questions should I ask given my program’s context?

The questions included in the decision-making tool are suggestions from which practitioners can select
based on the relevance to their program’s activities. Additional questions might focus on decisions related to
access to maternal healthcare, family planning, marriage of children, or migration. You may apply the tool to
a new context by adjusting questions and possible responses. Prior formative research is critical for
success. This research could include qualitative fieldwork, stakeholder workshops, and/or analysis of
secondary data.
Additional formative research may explore questions such as:
• Household structures: Who lives together and why? What migration patterns are common?
• Gendered livelihoods: How do men and women spend their time? What are their respective
economic activities? Do they overlap or are they separate?
• Gendered assets: Which assets do men typically control, and which do women control? How does
this influence their decision-making authority in different dimensions?
• Current decision-making patterns: Over which decisions do men have more control? Over which
decisions do women have more control?
• Gendered attitudes about decision-making: What are men’s and women’s attitudes about
women’s competence, knowledge, and trustworthiness in making different kinds of decisions? How
does this affect decision-making?
• Relationship between decisions and resilience: Which decision-making dynamics present the
biggest barrier to resilience capacities or outcomes?
• Proposed program activities: What kinds of household decision-making patterns prevent or
support women’s participation in program activities?

26
Doss, C. 2013. Intrahousehold bargaining and resource allocation. World Bank Policy Research Working Paper No. 6337.
http://documents.worldbank.org/curated/en/701071468155969077/pdf/wps6337.pdf

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 89

VI. Case Studies
Case study 1: How the Household Dialogue opened the door for
the first female leader in Katan community, Nepal
Women’s leadership is not a new idea for Maya Devi Chaudhary. “I always felt that women should have
been in a better position, one where they could speak up and lead,” she says. Maya Devi lives in Katan,
a small Tharu (indigenous) village in the Far Western Region of Nepal. Tharu communities have a tradition
of electing a local leader, called a bhalmansa, to represent the village. At age 35, Maya Devi became the
first woman to become a bhalmansa in her community.

However, women in positions of leadership presented a new

concept for many in the community. “I saw many women in my
own community working as laborers, managed by a single
male leader,” Maya Devi elaborates. “I wanted to disrupt this
conventional approach and see women lead. It was disturbing
to see all of the hard work done by women, with leadership
roles always reserved for men.”

As respected members of the community, Maya Devi and her

husband played a central role in mobilizing the community to take Maya Devi has been committed to
part in the Household Dialogue, designed to empower women and women’s leadership for years.
strengthen inclusive decision-making. They encouraged families Now, with the influence of the
who were struggling with issues of gender-based violence to Household Dialogue, her
participate. Maya Devi’s own son and daughter-in-law participated community of Katan is making this
in the Household Dialogue activity, which helped create an a reality.
Photo credit: Sangita Adhikari, Senior Program Officer | BRIGE,
inclusive atmosphere where all family members contributed to Mercy Corps, Nepal
household responsibilities. The Household Dialogue began to shift
the tide in Katan community, emphasizing the value of women’s
participation and leadership. Maya Devi recognized that the community was ripe for change, and, when the
convening was held to select a new bhalmansa, she volunteered and was accepted by the community.

“When our community was selecting a new bhalmansa, I was the only person who raised
their hand. Several people argued in favor and against my nomination. People raised
questions regarding my capability and the righteousness of my representation in certain
rituals and temples. However, I strongly assured them that I would fulfill the
responsibilities and do my best for the community’s well-being. In the end, everyone
demonstrated their trust. The men in the community believed that women are equally
capable of holding the title of bhalmansa.”
— Maya Devi, the first woman bhalmansa in Katan community, Nepal

For deeply-rooted gender norms in communities to begin to shift, holistic change is needed: women must
confidence in their own abilities as leaders, and men in the community must respect the value of their input
in high-level decision-making. The Household Dialogue approach addresses both of these dynamics, paving
the way for real transformation, as seen in Katan.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 90

Case study 2: How the Household Dialogue transformed
decision-making processes within families in Niger
Balkissa, a community member from Gao village in Niger, experienced a turning point in her life after she
and her husband completed the Household Dialogue training. She described how she and her husband
applied their new knowledge to take action:

Last week my husband told me that he was going to the market to sell my goat — the
goat that I bought with my own money. The first thing that crossed my mind was: Is the
goat sick? What happened? Why is he telling me this and not just going straight to the
market as he always does?” A slight smile spread across her face as she continued,
“The goat was not sick; it didn’t die before they reached the market. But for me, it was
like dying and being born again. It was the first time that my husband came to me to
inform me of his decision beforehand, just for the sake of telling me. It’s as if he
acknowledges that I exist.”
— Balkissa, a woman participant in the Household Dialogue in Gao, Niger

In many communities in Niger, the head of the household usually holds decision-making power, and often
does not inform other family members of their decisions. After participating in the Household Dialogue
activity, some couples, such as Balkissa and her husband, have begun to shift from secretive decision-
making to transparent decision-making. Husbands usually still make the decisions, but now they often inform
their wives (see the Household Decision-making tool in Section V) for more information on decision-making
behaviors). On the surface, it may not appear to be a major behavioral shift; however, for many women it
represents a transformative change. These changes lay the foundation for inclusive household decision-
making where women feel more confident and able to share their opinions regarding household decisions.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 91

Case study 3: How the Household Dialogue supported the
inclusion of all community members across intersecting identities
Samjhana identifies as a Dalit woman in the Central region of Nepal. Dalits in Nepal were formerly
considered “untouchable” or “impure,” and still face widespread barriers to education and development.
Although caste-based discrimination was abolished by the government in 1963, the system has persistent
legacy effects that perpetuate inequity. In addition to this caste-based discrimination, Samjhana must also
face gender-based discrimination, even within her own family. Prior to the Household Dialogue activity,
Samjhana’s family believed that household chores were the sole responsibility of female family members.
However, after Samjhana and her husband participated in the Household Dialogue activity, daily routines
began to change.

“Before the training, I remember waking up at 4:00 in the morning to start doing the
chores. Now, my husband wakes up even earlier, and he does the work. He cooks,
clean, feeds the livestock, and basically does all the work that he never did before. We
both thought that if men do household chores, others would laugh. I believed that I
should take care of all of the household responsibilities, but the [household] dialogue
training has helped us to understand each other’s work burden and the necessity of
letting women access equal opportunities.”
— Samjhana, a woman participant in the Household Dialogue in the Central region of Nepal

Samjhana and her husband now support each other and share household responsibilities. Samjhana also
contributes to the family’s income by helping her husband with his blacksmithing work. Samjhana’s husband
encourages her to participate in community organizations and events outside of the home, where she has
began to develop the self-confidence to share her opinions and ideas. Samjhana and her husband have
witnessed behavior changes not only at the household level, but also at the community level. Caste-based
discrimination has decreased, men are helping other men understand the importance of sharing household
responsibilities, and Dalits are now able to obtain low-interest rate loans from financial institutions. The
Household Dialogue activity has had a ripple effect through the community, and families and communities
are experiencing the positive effects of including everyone, regardless of their identities.

Samjhana’s intersecting identities as

a Dalit woman in the Central region
of Nepal pose many challenges, but
the Household Dialogue is shifting
social norms within her community.
Now, she is involved in local
organizations and supports the
family blacksmithing business.
Photo credit: Parbati Khadka, Senior Program Officer | BRIGE,
Mercy Corps, Nepal

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 92

Annex 1. Facilitator Training Agenda Example
This is a sample agenda that was used for the 5-day training of facilitators. Staff may adapt this to their context and use as a basis for a
Facilitators’ training, and it also provides a rough guide that could be adapted for the 4-day Household Dialogue activity itself.

Day 1: Gender Concepts

Session Session Sub-topics Objectives Facilitation method Materials required Time

Topic

1 Introduction • Introductions • Participants become familiar Sociogram and open Newspapers, white 2
• Sharing with each other discussion board marker, hours
expectations • Participants express their questions for the
• Key norms for the expectations for the training introduction
training • A comfortable environment for
• Division of the training is created
responsibilities

2 Household • Household • Facilitators will become familiar Presentation and open Laptop, projector, and 1.5
Dialogue dialogue activity with the activity’s process and discussion white board marker hours
activity • Household their responsibilities.
dialogue process
and facilitators’
responsibilities

3 Gender • Sex • Participants will gain Question and answer, Picture of gender 2
• Gender conceptual understanding of discussions about neutral baby, white hours
gender gender neutral baby board, newspapers,
• Participants will learn about the

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 93

biological differences between photo, and open marker, projector
men, women and “third gender” discussion
or non-binary individuals.
• Participants will be able to
articulate how gender identities
are based on social and cultural
norms.

4 Socialization • Socialization • Participants will understand Slide presentation, Projector, 2 hours

and • Discriminatory gender differences in the open discussion, whiteboard,
discriminatory cultural practices socialization process, and be brainstorming, Question newspapers, colored
cultural able to articulate gender-based and Answer markers
practices negative/harmful practices in
society.

Last session: Review and evaluation of daily learning. Evening: Show a documentary or video related to the various topics covered during
Day 1.

Day 2: Patriarchy, household roles and responsibilities and household decision-making

Session Session Sub-topics Objectives Facilitation method Materials required Time

topics

To begin the day: Participants recap the previous day, divide roles and responsibilities for the day, overview of agenda for the day and
teambuilding/icebreaking exercise

5 Patriarchal • Patriarchal • Participants will gain a Video presentation Projector, note cards, 1.5
ideology and ideology and conceptual clarity on patriarchy (Kamla Bhasin, white board marker, hours
thinking • Participants will be able to UNICEF), slides, open materials for the role
• Areas of articulate discriminatory

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 94

discrimination discrimination practices that result from discussion, role play play
created by patriarchal thinking
patriarchy • Participants will have an
understanding of how
patriarchy also harms men.
• Participants understand how
women can also have and
perpetuate patriarchal thinking

6 Gender-based • Definition of GBV • Participants will be able to Game, discussions, Balloons, toothpicks 1.5
violence • Types of GBV define various types of GBV slide presentation, or pins, pens, board hours
(GBV) • Causes and • Participants will be able to resource person (for markers, note cards,
Impacts identify causes and impacts of legal provisions) and/or newspapers, masking
• Physical spaces GBV handouts, discussions tape, projector
where GBV • Participants will be aware of the
occurs ubiquity of GBV
• Legal implications • Participants will have
• Men’s understanding of key legal
responsibilities to provisions and support services
prevent GBV for survivors of GBV
• Participants will be able to
articulate how men can play an
important role in prevention of
GBV

7 Division of • Division of HH • Participants will reflect on their Individual exercises, Individual exercise 2 hours
household roles and household’s daily activities and open discussion, forms, newspapers,
roles and responsibilities considered the gendered brainstorming, Question paper, markers,
responsibilities • Gendered roles division of work between men and Answer, group whiteboard, metacard,
and women. exercise tape, projector
• Participants will understand
women’s heavy burden of
household responsibilities.
• Participants will understand
how the joint sharing of

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 95

household chores by women
and men will help increase
women’s incomes and their
participation in society.
• Participants will understand
how the joint sharing of
household roles will make men
more aware of women’s burden
of household work.

8 Joint • Decisions relating • Participants will understand the Question and Answer, Exercise forms, 3 hours
household to HH positive and negative aspects individual and group newspapers, paper,
decisions • Decisions relating of individual and joint family exercises, group white board, projector
to finances and decision-making. discussions.
DRR • Participants will understand
men’s and women’s roles in
household and financial
decision-making and disaster
risk reduction.
• Participants learn how men’s
and women’s participation in
decision-making is a resilient
behavior.

Discussion on content, preparations and effectiveness of the community level trainings that the participants will be facilitating.

Last session: Review and evaluation of daily learning. Evening: Show a documentary or video related to the various topics covered during
Day 2.

Day 3: Participation, joint decision-making and planning within the family

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 96

Session Session Sub-topic Objectives Facilitation method Materials required Time
Topic

To begin the day: Participants recap the previous day, divide roles and responsibilities for the day, overview of agenda for the day and
teambuilding/icebreaking exercise

9 Family • Family financial • Participants will be able to Open discussion Kopila’s story, 2 hours
financial management identify indicators of family newspapers, masking
management • Family Financial financial management and tape, markers, white
and planning planning planning board, projector
• Participants will understand the
importance of participatory and
joint decision-making regarding
family financial management
and planning

10 Potential • Potential disasters • Participants will be able to Station method, Newspapers, meta 2 hours
disasters, • Disaster identify potential disaster risks cards, masking tape,
disaster management • Participants will be able to case studies, markers, white board,
management • Family identify options for risk projector
and family preparedness management. They will also open discussion
preparedness • Joint participation understand the importance of
and decision- men’s and women’s joint
making in disaster participation in disaster
risk reduction and management.
preparedness • Participants will be able to
develop a checklist for disaster
preparedness.
• Participants will be able to
identify the main issues related
to disasters, preparedness and
joint decision-making

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 97

11 Family • Family harmony • Participants will be able to Lottery, games, Newspapers, 2 hours
harmony and • Household action define relationships between exercises, case studies marker, small box
household plans family members and how they and open discussion for lottery, meta
actions plans treat each other, and how this cards, family action
relates to family harmony. plan exercise forms
• Participants be conversant on and projector
positive practices within family
life and family interdependence.
• Participants will be able to
assess their own situation and
propose family action plans as
they relate to family harmony.

Discussion on content, preparations and effectiveness of the community level trainings that the participants will be facilitating

Last session: Review and evaluation of daily learning. Evening: Show a documentary or video related to the various topics covered during
Day 3.

Day 4: Training and facilitation methods

Session Session topic Sub-topics Objectives Facilitation method Materials required Time

To begin the day: Participants recap the previous day, divide roles and responsibilities for the day, overview of agenda for the day and
teambuilding/icebreaking exercise

12 Training and • Methodology for • Participants will be able to Sharing in a circle, Note cards with 1 hour
knowledge name and define at least five training methods
learning open discussion
exchange training methods written on them, a
methods • Participants will understand
• Knowledge container for the
how to use other
exchange in the communication tools when note cards, white

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 98

context of written words are not useful. board, markers
illiteracy • Participants will understand
• How to train how to train an adult audience.
adults

13 Tools and Tools and materials • Participants will be able to list Open discussion Marker, 1 hour
materials and tools that can be newspapers, paper,
materials used to be used for training
used for trainings in rural masking tape, white
in training and in rural contexts contexts
board
learning • Participants will be aware of at
least 10 points to consider
before delivering a training

14 Preparation • Preparing • Participants will be able to Discussion, Question White board, 1 hour
materials for understand and identify marker,
and and Answer, individual
trainings different areas of preparedness newspapers,
management and management for effective exercise
of trainings • Preparing for individual exercise
training delivery.
training forms
management

15 Qualities and Qualities and roles of • Participants will understand the Open discussion, White board marker, 1.5
roles of an an ideal household qualities of an effective Question and Answer metacard hours
ideal dialogue facilitator household dialogue facilitator.
household • Participants will be aware of
dialogue household dialogue facilitators’
facilitator roles.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 99

Discussion on content, preparations and effectiveness of the community level trainings that the participants will be facilitating

Last session: Review and evaluation of daily learning. Evening: Show a documentary or video related to the various topics covered during
Day 4.

Day 5: Training and facilitation methods, model exercises and concluding remarks

Session Session topic Sub-topics Objectives Facilitation method Materials required Time

To begin the day: Participants recap the previous day, divide roles and responsibilities for the day, overview of agenda for the day and
teambuilding/icebreaking exercise.

16 Planning Planning sessions for • Participants will have an Exercises and open Model of training 1.5
training community level understanding of how and why discussion sessions, A4 papers hours
sessions training sessions are divided in a for exercise
training.
• Participants will be able to list
the key components of a
training.
• Participants will be able to plan
a training.

17 Community • Community • Participants will facilitate a Individual and group White board, 4
facilitation role Facilitation role community discussion and facilitation role play newspapers, hours
play play receive feedback from the exercise metacard, marker,
• Feedback trainer and peers regarding the masking tape
facilitation style and content.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 100

18 Conclusion • Training • Participants will evaluate the Discussion, individual Training evaluation 1.5
evaluation training and facilitator. and group work forms, individual hours
• Participants’ • Participants will prepare an action plan forms and
action plans action plan, keeping in mind certificates
• Distribution of his/her own need for the
certificates community training preparation.
• Closing • Participants will receive
certificates.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 101

Annex 2. Household Action Plan
The Household Action Plan is to be completed by participants after they have completed the first nine
sessions of the Household Dialogue activity. This will be used to monitor participants’ progress when
facilitators conduct follow-up visits.

District: Rural municipality, Ward:

Village: MCID number:

Name of head of household:

Name of female participant: Age:

Name of male participant: Age:

Relationship:

Household What is the What is the What actions What is the Responsibility
Action current desired will achieve timeline? (Who will do
Plan situation? improvement? this? it?)
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 102

Annex 3. Weekly Progress Monitoring
The Weekly Progress Monitoring worksheet is used by facilitators to collect monitoring data during their
weekly follow-up visits with families.

District: Rural municipality, Ward:

Village: MCID number:

Name of head of household:

Name of female participant: Age:

Name of male participant: Age:

Relationship: Week of monitoring:

Household Timeline (as Responsibility Progress (What Evidence of

Action Plan (as indicated in the (who was has been progress (if
indicated in the action plan) assigned to this achieved this available)
action plan) task?) week?)
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 103

Please describe any additional changes that have been observed (related to the topics covered in
the training)
What change When did this Who made the Progress Evidence (if
was observed change occur? change? (What has available)
in the family? been achieved
as a result of
this change?)
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 104

Annex 4. Evaluating Household Decisions
The Evaluating Household Decisions worksheet is to be completed by facilitators each time they conduct
follow-up visits.

District: Rural municipality, Ward:

Village: MCID number:

Name of head of household:

Name of female participant: Age:

Name of male participant: Age:

Relationship: Week of monitoring:

The table below is only to be used during Week #1 with the female participant of the Household Dialogue
activity.

1. Who makes the majority of financial decisions in

your family? (For example, obtaining a loan, buying
land or livestock, assets, starting a business, etc.)

2. Are you consulted about family financial

decisions? Do you consult your husband (or other
male family member) when making financial
decisions?

3. If you disagree, can you change the decision?

4. If your husband (or other male family member)

disagrees, can they change the decision?

5. Who makes the majority of decisions related to

household chores in your family? (For example,
what to cook, purchasing school supplies or
groceries, caring for animals, etc.)

6. Are you consulted in these decisions? Or do you

consult your husband (or other male family
member)?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 105

7. If you disagree, can you change the decision?

8. If your husband (or other male family member)

disagrees, can they change the decision?

9. Are you a member of any community groups?

(For example, SACCOs, disaster management
committees, farmers' group, or any other
cooperative or local group?)

10. How did you hear about the group? How did
you decide to be a member?

11. Did anyone oppose your decision? If yes, why?

How did you resolve the issue?

12. Do you hold a leadership position in any of the

groups?

13. Do you participate regularly in the meetings?

14. Do you receive any opposition from household

members when you participate in these meetings?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 106

The worksheet below is to be completed by facilitators each time they conduct follow-up visits.

What Who made Who was Did anyone How was How did How did
decision the consulted? oppose this consensus this this
was made decision? decision? If (agreement) decision decision
in the so, who? reached? affect the affect the
family this Why? male female
week? participant participant
of the of the
Household Household
Dialogue? Dialogue?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 107

Annex 5. Gender-based Violence
Definitions
Abuse: Misuse of power. Abuse prevents persons from making free decisions and forces them to behave
against their will. Children are especially vulnerable to abuse due to their extremely limited power in any
given situation. Children are also more easily confused and tricked due to their limited life experience.

Coercion: Forcing or attempting to force another person to engage in behaviors against her/his will by using
threats, verbal insistence, manipulation, deception, cultural expectations or economic power.

Consent: Refers to approval or assent, particularly and especially after thoughtful consideration. “Informed
consent” occurs when someone fully understands the consequences of a decision and consents freely and
without any force. The absence of informed consent is an element in the definition of GBV. There can be no
consent in situations where any kind of force (physical violence, coercion, etc.) is used.

Exploitation: Any abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust.

Force: To cause to do through pressure or necessity, by physical, moral or intellectual means.

Protection: All activities aimed at securing full respect for the rights of individuals — women, men, girls, and
boys — in accordance with the letter and the spirit of the relevant bodies of human rights, humanitarian and
refugee law. Protection activities aim to create an environment in which human dignity is respected, specific
patterns of abuse are prevented or their immediate effects alleviated, and dignified conditions of life are
restored through reparation, restitution and rehabilitation.

Rape/Attempted Rape: An act of non-consensual sexual intercourse. This can include the invasion of any
part of the body with a sexual organ and/or the invasion of the genital or anal opening with any object or
body part. Rape and attempted rape involve the use of force, threat of force, and/ or coercion. Any
penetration is considered rape. Efforts to rape someone which do not result in penetration are considered
attempted rape. Rape/ attempted rape may include: rape of adult female; rape of minor (male or female)
including incest; gang rape, if there is more than one assailant; marital rape, between husband and wife;
male rape, known as sodomy.

Sexual Abuse: Any actual or threatened physical intrusion of a sexual nature, including inappropriate
touching, by force or under unequal or coercive conditions.

Sexual Exploitation: Any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust
for sexual purposes; this includes profiting monetarily, socially, or politically from the sexual exploitation of
another.

SEA (Sexual Exploitation and Abuse): SEA are forms of GBV that have been widely reported in
humanitarian situations. While SEA can be perpetuated by anyone, the term SEA has been used in
reference to sexual exploitation and abuse perpetrated by UN, NGO and uniformed peacekeeping
personnel.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 108

Sexual Violence: Any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or advances,
or acts to traffic a person’s sexuality, using coercion, threats of harm or physical force, by any person
regardless of relationship to the victim in any setting, including but not limited to home and work. Sexual
violence takes many forms, including rape, sexual slavery and/ or trafficking, forced pregnancy, sexual
harassment, sexual exploitation and/ or abuse, and forced abortion.

Survivor/ Victim: Person who has experience gender-based violence. The terms “victim” and “survivor” can
be used interchangeably. “Victim” is a term often used in the legal and medical sectors. “Survivor” is the
term generally preferred in the psychological and social support sectors because it implies resiliency. Mercy
Corps prefers to use the term “survivor” in its programs.

Trafficking: Any act of recruiting, transporting, transferring, harboring or receiving a person through a use of
force, coercion or other means, for the purpose of exploiting them.

Violence: The use of some type of force, abuse, coercion, or pressure.

Vulnerable group: Groups of individuals more vulnerable to sexual violence than other members of the
population. These are individuals who are less able to protect themselves from harm, more dependent on
others for survival, less powerful, and less visible. Groups of individuals that are often more vulnerable to
sexual violence include, but are not limited to, single females, female-headed household, separated/
unaccompanied children, orphans, disabled and/ or elderly females.

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 109

Annex 6. Gender-based Violence Referral
Sheets 27

Medical Response: Where are the three nearest facilities that can provide a medical response?

Location 1 Medical Response

Name of Organization
Sexual Violence Point Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:
(Emergency contraception/
pregnancy prevention, sexually
transmitted infection testing and
treatment, PEP/HIV prevention, pain
management, evidence collection,
counseling)
Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know
training?

Location 2 Medical Response

Name of Organization
Sexual Violence Point Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Location 3 Medical Response

Name of Organization
Sexual Violence Point Person
Physical Address

27
Mercy Corps’ Gender Procedures, Policy in Action

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 110

Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Safety and Protection Response: Where is the nearest police station that has a GBV response unit and/or
a Child Desk? Which person or group in the community follows up and makes protection supports?

Location 1 Law Enforcement Response

Name of Police Station
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Location 2 Community Protection Response

Name of Police Station
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 111

Psychosocial Response: What are the local resources that provide professional counseling and guidance
for survivors of GBV?

Location 1 Psychosocial Response

Name of Organization
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Location 2 Psychosocial Response

Name of Organization
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Response? Yes No
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Legal Response: What are two local resources where I can refer GBV survivors for legal services?

Location 1 Legal Response

Name of Organization
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
Cost
List of Services Provided:
(legal counseling, legal
representation, assistance with
police, etc.)
Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know
training?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 112

Location 2 Legal Response
Name of Organization
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
Cost
List of Services Provided:

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Safe Houses: Where are safe places where survivors can spend the night in case of an emergency?

Location 1 Safe Houses

Name of Organization
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days
24 Hour Intake?
Yes No
Restrictions? Examples: women and
children only; age limitations on male
children; etc.
Cost
List of Services Provided: Does
shelter provide other resources or
services like case management,
counseling, food, clothes, vouchers,
etc.?

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

Location 2 Safe Houses

Name of Organization
Name of Focal Person
Physical Address
Public Transport
Phone Number
Service Hours / Days

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 113

24 Hour Intake?
Yes No
Restrictions? Examples: women and
children only; age limitations on male
children; etc.

Cost
List of Services Provided: Does
shelter provide other resources or
services like case management,
counseling, food, clothes, vouchers,
etc.?

Have service providers received specific GBV Yes No Do Not Know

training?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 114

Annex 7. Additional Gender-based Violence
Resources 28

Title Type of Organization URL

resource
IASC Gender Based Violence
Guidelines
Guide IASC https://gbvguidelines.org/en/home/
Different Needs- Equal
Opportunities: Increasing
Effectiveness of Humanitarian
Action for Women, Girls, Boys and Online http://www.interaction.org/iasc-gender-
Men Training IASC elearning
Different Needs- Equal
Opportunities: Increasing Printable
Effectiveness of Humanitarian Version of
Action for Women, Girls, Boys and Online https://mcdl.mercycorps.org/gsdl/docs/IASCGe
Men Training IASC nderTrainingFullCourseDifferentNeeds.pdf
Managing Gender Based Violence Online https://extranet.unfpa.org/Apps/GBVinEmerge
Programmes in Emergencies Training UNFPA ncies/index.html
Gender Based Violence and Guidance http://www.fao.org/fileadmin/templates/dimitra/
Livelihoods Interventions Note FAO pdf/guidance_note_gbv_livelihoods.pdf
Powerpoint- https://clearspace.mercycorps.org/docs/DOC-
Violencia Contra La Mujer Training MC Colombia 4277
http://oneresponse.info/crosscutting/gender/Ge
nder%20Marker%20Materials/CCCM%20GM
Camp Coordination and %20Tip%20Sheet%2028%20August%202011.
Management Tip Sheet IASC pdf
http://oneresponse.info/crosscutting/gender/pu
GBV Response and Prevention blicdocuments/GBV%20Gender%20Marker%2
Projects Tip Sheet IASC 0Tipsheet%20July%202011.pdf
Raising
Raising Voices Website Voices http://www.raisingvoices.org/

Guide to Programming Gender http://www.usaid.gov/our_work/cross-

Based Violence Prevention and cutting_programs/wid/pubs/USAID_GBV_Guid
Response Activities Guide USAID e_Public.pdf

The Power to Change: How to set http://www.eldis.org/go/topics/resource-

up Support Groups for Victims and guides/gender/gender-
Survivors of Domestic Violence Manual Women's Aid manuals&id=44927&type=Document
Violence Against Women and
Girls: A Compendium of http://www.eldis.org/go/topics/resource-
Monitoring and Evaluation MEASURE guides/gender/gender-
Indicator Compendium Evaluation manuals&id=44692&type=Document

Addressing Sexual and gender-

based violence against adolescent Population http://www.popcouncil.org/pdfs/TABriefs/38_S
girls Guide Council GBV.pdf

28
Mercy Corps’ Gender Procedures, Policy in Action

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 115

Annex 8. How to write success stories
Writing stories that highlight families' successes can be a great way to promote the
Household Dialogue activity. These stories should include rich context, highlight
specific successes and include quotes and photos where applicable. Consider
including the following points:

1) What was the situation in the household before the Household Dialogue activity? Who had decision-
making power? How were household responsibilities and chores distributed?

2) What efforts did the family make after the Household Dialogue activity? How did various family
members participate in those efforts?

8) What factors encouraged and/or supported family members in those efforts?

9) What positive experiences did families have during this process? What were the difficultites?

10) What changes have occurred because of the Household Dialogue activity? Which family members
benefitted from these changes?

11) How might these lessons be useful or applicable to other families?

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 116

Annex 9. Photo to use in gender session

You may use this photo during session 2 (Gender) to facilitate a

discussion about biological, social, and cultural differences between
boys and girls. Begin by showing participants the picture of the baby,
and ask them whether it is a boy or a girl, and why.
Photo Credit: Benny Manser

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 117

CONTACT

AUDREY ANDERSON
Technical Program Director | BRIGE
auanderson@mercycorps.org

OLGA PETRYNIAK
Regional Resilience Director | South and Southeast
Asia
opetryniak@mercycorps.org

AISSATOU DJIMRAO
Gender Advisor | Niger
adjimraou@mercycorps.org

NIKUNJA NEPAL
BRIGE Program Manager | Nepal
nnepal@mercycorps.org

About Mercy Corps

Mercy Corps is a leading global organization
powered by the belief that a better world is possible.
In disaster, in hardship, in more than 40 countries
around the world, we partner to put bold solutions into
action — helping people triumph over adversity and
build stronger communities from within.
Now, and for the future.

45 SW Ankeny Street
Portland, Oregon 97204
888.842.0842
mercycorps.org

MERCY CORPS Household Dialogue Toolkit 118