Sapay Koma
Characters:
Leon - the husband of Maria, from Igoton, Benguet, who is an Igorot man with a Cordilleran
culture and tradition. He was also a Philosophy major under the tutelage of two young Jesuit-
educated instructors.
Maria – the city-girl wife of Leon, who was born and raised in Pasay City, and a lady who
doesn't believe in love and not a fan of valentine’s day nor a like a red rose at first until she met
Leon. She was also a self-proclaimed lesbian feminist. Despite all the tragic relationships she had
with women, she still believed that it was worth fighting for the right of a woman to love another
woman.
Baldo – younger brother of Leon, who is quickly won over by Mari’s papaya blossom scent, who
is living in the town of Itogon, Benguet, and the person who got married first.
Setting: In the town Itogon, Benguet.
As Sapay Koma is primarily set in the Philippines, and everyone involved are also Filipinos, we
get to see Filipino beliefs and cultures come to play on several occasions, just as how the author
experienced. It especially becomes evident when she marries her Igorot husband and enters his
family, she has a hard time adjusting to their culture. We can also call this experience, culture
shock, which is a personal distortion one may experience when taken out of their familiar
culture, and put into a new one. Culture shock generally has 4 stages: honeymoon, frustration,
adjustment, and acceptance. However, we only really see the author go through the first 2 or 3
stages, as she ends up leaving the culture and her husband in the end.
Before Marriage When her husband (then-boyfriend) gave her the bowl of papaya blossoms, the
author saw this as an allusion to Manuel Arguilla’s 1940 story “How My Brother Brought Home
a Wife”, as the author loved the story and assumed her boyfriend purposely gave her the flowers
to her to reference the story. Furthermore, she found many other similarities between their
relationship to the story:
Both Manuel Arguilla and the boyfriend are Ilocano.
In the story, Maria gives up her city life to move to the remote province to be with her
lover, Leon. The author saw herself in Maria when she decides to go with him to Itogon,
Benguet.
Both Leon and the author’s boyfriend have a younger brother, both are of the same age.
Leon’s father and her boyfriend’s family do not accept their lovers readily. In the story,
Maria had to go through many trials to prove she is capable of living in the province.
Likewise, the author was scrutinized by her boyfriend’s family. The difference is,
however, Maria was accepted, but the author (at least in the beginning) was not.
There was a period where the boyfriend’s culture and the author’s culture clashed. When they
first met his Kankanaey family, they did not approve of his Manileña friend who couldn’t speak
Ilocano, and they weren’t pleased with her tattoo. The author reasoned that her Cordillera culture
has a history of body art. However, this backfired later when they tried to push for marriage, his
mother said referenced Cordillera’s theology that if siblings marry within the same year, one will
fail, since one of his brothers got married in that year as well.
There are multiple mentions of Igorot’s traditions and customs as well, even before their
marriage. One is butchering a total of eight pigs for a wedding, which didn’t come through for
the author’s wedding, as the family has done this for the other brother’s wedding and has no
money left for another one, and it was a marriage against their will.
the scene when the father asks the woman if they have a VCD player at their house and what it
portrays was, the father was trying to be close to her daughter-in-law because it is the very first
time he spoke with her without using his son as a messenger. This scene shows that Cordillerans
are not very showy towards their feelings. Though they act very unexpressive, they are still
understanding like the scene when they try to make it up to the daughter-in-law because of their
shortcomings.
The author claimed that though the wedding was quick, she said it was ‘peppered with omens’.
First, the bride assumed her mother-in-law’s name was “Constancia”, but in truth, it was actually
“Conchita”, which made the judge scold the couple for making errors in a legal document.
Furthermore, due to Conchita’s name, the judge wouldn’t even believe the father-in-law’s name
was “Johnny”. Second, their wedding rings have fallen out of their box while they were in the
groom’s pocket. Thirdly, the judge joked that there is no need for the couple to kiss, as “it is
obvious there is a deposit in there!”
After Marriage
Filipinos have a very strong sense of community. However, this could also mean that rumors
and talks about another are not uncommon. We can see this when the author couldn’t move in
with her husband’s family, to avoid her pregnant figure be spotted. She could only move in after
she have given birth, where she and her husband hoped the presence of their grandchild will
soften them.
The author previously has a black dog of mixed breed, which she named Sapay Koma, which
translates to something similar to ‘wish’ or ‘prayer’ in English. She states that Sapay Koma was
her loyal companion during her stay in Baguio, even before she married.
It is normal for Igorots to eat dog meat. Some eat it regularly; some only consume it for special
occasions. Particularly, they especially like black dogs, as they believe they are tastier. When the
author moves into the main house, she brought her dog Sapay Koma, who caused too much noise
and ruckus, so they decided to put him down and eat him, to which the author also joined in an
attempt to show that she can be a part of their culture. Then, later, the author mentions that
Igorots would beat a chicken before they cook it, though it seems that her husband’s family does
not partake in this custom.
The Philippines has a very long history in Christianity. Today, at least 90% of Filipinos are
Christian, and a large majority of these Christians are highly religious. We can see many
Catholic influences in Sapay Koma. For the couple’s wedding, the only wedding gift they have
received is a framed Bible verse of 1 Corinthians 13. Later, the couple saw the author’s
accidental pregnancy as a sign from God, which they called Divine Intervention, that they need
to keep saving their marriage.
The author was taught by her mother that “one for you, one for me, then stay out of my bag of
goodies.” Her way of upbringing clashed with the Igorot culture that “everything belongs to the
community,” shown when her relatives took the author’s food without telling her. This shocked
the author, and attempted to draw the line between ‘what was hers’ and ‘what is theirs’, which
also caused more animosity.
Filipinos are also known to be very family-oriented. This is especially showcased when the
author describes her mother-in-law’s picture wall of her children and their achievements,
including their wedding and children as well. This is a hobby that is even shared by many other
Filipino households.
Since the author was not accepted, she and her children are not part of the wall. They are only
added when the author demanded her husband to address this, and both sides had a heartfelt
discussion about it.
The author made reference to Filipino proverbs and sayings as well. Aside from Sapay Koma,
she also says: “paglagay sa tahimik,” “sukob sa taon,” “Kapag minamalas ka sa isang lugar,
itawid mo ng dagat,”.
V. Conclusion
How large or how small her discomfort in their culture played a role in their failing marriage is
hard to tell from the text alone, and can only be ultimately answered by the author. However, it
affects her emotionally and mentally. How much should be discussed at another time?
The phrase sapay koma, as mentioned before, translates to “sana”, “wish” or “a prayer”,
especially depending on context. When the author smelled her burnt Sapay Koma, and ate him,
she described the experience as “the death of her wishes”. In the end, when she has come to
terms and began anew, she also says “Sapay koma naimbag ti biag yo dita” which means “to
hope that your life there is good”.
Sapay Koma is a story about family, love, and culture. At the same time, it is the story of the
author’s mistakes, regrets, and hopes. It highlights the naïve hopes of a woman in love, and how
her irrational decisions influenced by “hormones, pregnancy, the Catholic church, Manuel
Arguilla” end up leading not only her life but many other lives, into emotional, psychological
turmoil. However, though the story plays like a tragedy, in the end, it becomes a story of hope of
a brighter tomorrow. This story is for those with their own inner regrets and inner dreams, to
hope that their own future brings good as well.
Love has the power to transform everything, but it requires a lot of sacrifice to be
with it. Every girl wishes to meet her knight in shining armor, who will take her to
the land of forever and create the most beautiful and ideal world, and dwell in a
rose-filled garden. But when a storm came, everything changes and fades away;
like the situation of Maria and Leon. All the wonderful moments they spent
together became memories that will never be repeated; happiness fades away, and
grief lingers till the next day arrives.
Living in this world is difficult because you must deal with the complications and
adversities that life has thrown at us. The story depicted reality, it is relevant and
timely in our life. Maria illustrates her ability to let go; all she can do is make the
best of the situation and begin again; heartbreak is difficult, but she must accept it
for the sake of herself and her children. There is no such thing as a perfect love
story in this world because there are always ups and downs or what we call life on
a wheel. However, I'm so proud of Maria because even though she is going
through a complications and challenges with her partner, she never forgets her role
as a mother and she always ensures the safety of her children and what is best for
them. the essence of being a woman is being a good mother. Hence, sometimes
letting go is the best way to discover genuine happiness and learn how to be a
strong person.
