In Good Faith: Upended traditions become new traditions

Tradition, tradition!

My favorite musical is “Fiddler on the Roof.” My mom and I sang and watched it every chance we had, and my best friend from high school performed in it his senior year. He and I sang the songs every day. This musical is so much part of my life that my spouse learned “Do You Love Me?” and came home dressed as Tevye singing to me. To say my heart swooned is an understatement.

The main theme of this musical is tradition, everyone staying in their traditional roles, participating in traditional arranged marriages, dances, religious expectations, placement in society, and even traditional ways to wear clothes. However, throughout the musical, all those traditions are upended. Tradition?

Tevye and Golda had an arranged marriage and as their daughters start marrying for love, Tevye asks Golda, “Do you love me?” Marriage for love was unconventional and when Tevye asks the question, Golda responds, “with our daughters getting married and there’s trouble in the town, you’re upset, you’re worn out, go inside, go lie down!” Love was not a common topic of discussion. Untraditional.

This time of year brings lots of traditions. We pull out the decorations that have adorned our homes for decades, we sing “Jingle Bells” and “Deck the Halls,” and we search for perfect gifts. For some, Santa brings the traditional, “ho, ho, ho” and the much-wanted gift on Christmas morning. Tradition!

When it came to the holidays, Mom was very traditional. The day after Thanksgiving, the tree and decorations went up while Mom shared stories about every ornament. The day after Epiphany, they all came down, lovingly packed away. All car rides had Christmas music playing. The Christmas table was set perfectly with inherited silverware and the cut crystal glasses Mom and Dad bought in Germany. Tradition!

Several years after Mom died, I lamented that I did not keep traditions, and our kids would not be able to pass them on. Our decorations went up when they could, and I never made the same meal for Christmas or had a perfectly set table. Since I pastored churches, we never went to the same church for Christmas Eve services. With my mom gone, I longed for tradition.

After I shared this lament, our 15-year-old said, “Mom, we do have traditions.” I remember looking at her like she didn’t understand the word tradition and asked her to explain. With excitement, she said, “We bake every year. We make tons of different cookies, chocolate covered mint balls, muddy buddies, and my favorite Rice Krispy treats using Fruity Pebbles instead of Rice Krispies. Life might never be the same, but every year we bake together. You created our own tradition.” To this day, our children still ask for their favorite baked good. Tradition!

In “Fiddler on the Roof,” traditions were upended, but the townspeople developed new traditions just like I did with my family, and just like Jesus’ birth did for so many. Jesus came to change the traditional ways of oppression, segregation and power. Jesus came to show a new way, create a new tradition.

Jesus came to show us how to love our neighbor. He broke down traditional roles, talked to a woman at a well, embraced tax collectors, healed those possessed by demons, and sat with the lonely, immigrants, women, marginalized, children, outcasts and misfits. Jesus invited people who lived on the margins of society into community. Jesus broke traditions and created new ones.

He upended the status quo from the beginning of his life on earth. He didn’t even come to us as a mighty king. Instead, he came as a poor, brown-skinned, immigrant from the “wrong side of the tracks.” Even his birth breaks tradition of our concept of power and the powerful. Changed traditions!

This holiday season, may we remember Jesus who was born in a stable because there was no place for him in the inn, that he was the son of an unwed teen mother and adoptive father, that he and his family fled their country for safety, and wise people of different faiths and cultures revered him.

May we remember that this baby would grow to teach us the true meaning of love, build new inclusive communities, speak life into people, and develop new traditions where all are welcomed, valued and loved. May we remember these new traditions that Jesus created and carry them into our future by building community, love and life-giving tradition!

The Rev. Ana M. Wilson is a board-certified chaplain and certified in thanatology.