For My Good: Rejecting the Null

Trilogy Christian Publishers

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Copyright © 2020 by Karen Andrea Armstrong

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

B-ISBN#: 978-1-64773-408-4

E-ISBN#: 978-1-64773-409-1

Dedication

To God be the glory, great things He has done! Thank you, God, that in the spiritual and temporal deserts—the times when I felt hidden, lost, and stagnant—you were pruning and growing me for the perfect time, the perfect destiny!

I dedicate this book to my amazing parents, Arthur and Mable Smith—you are gone, but always in my heart—and to my wonderful sisters and brothers. Thank you for your unconditional love and unparalleled support. I am forever grateful for the lessons of love and the rich milieu, the atmosphere of confidence and spiritual abundance which you provided for me and which continually buoys me up!

I dedicate this book to my beloved husband Winston; my phenomenal children, Shenelle, Shane, and stepdaughter, Danae; and to my vast extended family.

Thank you, family, for your unmatched support and unconditional love. I could not have written this book without you! You always believed in me and were willing to cheer me on, in and out of the spotlight! I love you and cherish you!

Foreword

As one of my family members recounted, I raced through life with inimitable charm, interspersed with nonnegotiable faith! I was unstoppable—I was indefatigable! She stated that when I spoke, you knew that there was something special about me. An older sister described it as star quality. She describes me as the little girl with the extra digits who boldly confronted the odds! The unique packaging…

The surprising belly laugh, refusing to be contained, bursting from the diminutive body when you least expected it. I was never afraid to laugh at myself—I was often self-deprecating as I laughed along with my siblings at my then little body and big head.

My big head surprisingly maintained equilibrium as it balanced on my diminutive frame. For a long time, I did not appear to be my chronological age—my playmates and siblings often teased me. Not fazed, I always had a quick comeback! My favorite retort: Yeah, big head, but full of brains! I was not wrong, as people often praised me and spoke about how bright, smart, and sharp I was! Of course, I say this with modesty and humility. Despite the demure aura, the petite stature, and the small frame, I stood tall intellectually and academically. I also proved to be emotionally strong and immensely courageous.

I was told that I was a gifted child before I even knew what the term meant. In fact, from an early age, my family tells me that I disarmed everyone with my quiet confidence, my effervescent personality, my infectious laughter, and a captivating smile. Paradoxically, this demonstrable or professed introvert invariably shunned the limelight, but destiny thrust her center stage with her notable accomplishments. To God be all glory, honor, and praise!

Preface

Research Proposal

I am embarking on an ambitious undertaking by using research methodology as a metaphorical backdrop, applied to my life’s journey. Over my life’s course I have personally and professionally conducted more than 10,000 hours of scientific research, so indeed that makes me an expert researcher (Gladwell 2000). I have collaborated on multi-disciplinary research, and my findings have been presented at national and international conferences and published in peer-reviewed journals. I have served as research program director for a prestigious research university. Moreover, I have worked in research enterprises encompassing palliative care, brain health/neurology, medical-surgical, oncology, cardiology, gerontology, and epidemiology.

My instincts tell me that I should approach my life study using a qualitative research grounding, utilizing an inductive approach as best practice. I am biased as a quantitative researcher, so I will use an inferential approach, figuratively speaking, to explore my life’s case study. Thus, as the primary researcher and my only study participant, I will use subjective and objective data to interpret study findings, of course using myself as the study instrument. I crave your indulgence as I attempt to describe the structures of my experiences as they elucidated my consciousness.

A renowned scientist once stated that everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted (Einstein n.d.). Therefore, I will borrow ethnographic and phenomenological methodology and focus my life study on constructs derived from field observation of sociocultural phenomena. I plan to use a systematic collection and objective evaluation of data related to my past occurrences in order to test my hypotheses concerning the causes, effects, or trends of these events that may help to explain present events and anticipate future events (Creswell 2016) (Gay 1996).

My goal is to share my story in order to inspire others and to openly testify of God’s goodness and unfailing mercy in my life. I am not worthy or deserving, but God chose to use me, a simple, ordinary woman, to do something extraordinary. Allow me to put on my epidemiologist hat as I hypothesize that there is a significant relationship between ordinary people who align themselves with God’s power and the uncommon faith to accomplish extraordinary things.

I invite you to travel with me as I share my story of redemption and restoration—a path sprinkled with petals of paralyzing fear, blood-curdling heartbreak, numbing disappointment, delayed destiny, shocking perseverance, spontaneous bravery, and unwavering faith to reach my destination, dripping with succulent triumph! The bumps in the road were only commas, not periods! The detours only delayed my destiny; they did not deny it. Despite the fast and furious curveballs coming at me at over one hundred miles per hour, I managed to fall but not yield. My story is about reclaiming my destiny—moving from transition to transcendence, from recrimination to restoration and redemption.

As I attempt to encapsulate my inspirational, timely, relevant, and poignant life story into 160-plus pages, I can’t help but be moved to tears as I reflect on the trajectory of my life—where God brought me from hurt, lack, brokenness, and interrupted destiny to where I am currently. The dark times, the hard times, the brokenness, the failures, the successes, and the triumphs were part of God’s master plan. My story reverberates with courage and resilience and shows the power of non-negotiable faith in a God who orchestrated His plans for me in utero! Indeed, all things worked together for my good!

Acknowledgments

First, I thank God for His faithfulness and guidance as He helped me to complete this manuscript. I thank God for loving me regardless of my shortcomings. I give God thanks for His goodness, favor, and blessings. He propelled me past my fears and helped me challenge the assumptions. He sheltered and protected me from the storms of life. He has led me perfectly, ordered my steps, supplied every need, shepherded me, and covered me under His wings. He reminds me that He knows my name, He numbers the hairs on my head, and He sees me. I have kept God at my center. He is my Rock, Source, Healer, and Provider. My faith has been tested and tried in ways I cannot articulate. But, in all that I have been through, God has been my constant. Thus, the journey has been worth it! I can say, like the apostle Paul: "…without faith it is impossible to please Him!"i

I would like to acknowledge my wonderful God-fearing parents, siblings, and vast extended family. I would like to acknowledge my spiritual leaders who have guided and nurtured me through the years. I owe you a debt of gratitude. I appreciate your prayers, care, concern, mentorship, and support throughout this journey.

I would like to acknowledge my editor, publication team members, and the TBN family: you were there for me in the darkness and helped me to emerge with brilliance. In the dark times, your programs were a source of comfort and inspiration day and night. I recall watching one program, over thirty years ago, where a renowned speaker testified about her healing from cancer. Her testimony gave me the confidence and courage to discard my presumed lifetime prescription medications. I told myself that if God could heal cancer, He could take care of my heart problem. It is only fitting that almost thirty years later, TBN was instrumental in the publication of this work. Thank you, TBN!

I would like to express my sincere appreciation and heartfelt thanks to my mentors, past and present. You started me on my career trajectory—I will always be grateful for your guidance and mentorship. Thank you!

Thank you to my dear friends and colleagues: I owe you a debt of gratitude for your generosity and caring spirit. I am so glad that our paths crossed. You inspired me to relentlessly pursue excellence. I am grateful for the partnerships and collaborations. To my students and mentees, your dedication is unmatched. You inspire me with your courage and perseverance. I am so proud of the next generation of nurse leaders. You will do great things!

Last, but certainly not least, I acknowledge my beloved husband and soulmate, Winston, without whose love, commitment, and devotion this book would not be possible. I acknowledge my phenomenal children, Shenelle and Shane, my cheerleaders and critics, who keep me humble and grounded. I acknowledge my wonderful stepdaughter, Danae, and my amazing nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws, and other extended family. Truly, all things work together for our good! To God be the glory!

Introduction

Life Course Research Plan

Study Design

The researcher must use an adequate sample size for a study to demonstrate that differences or relationships exist. Determining sample size encompasses the use of calculations that include statistical power, alpha/significance level, and effect size (Grove et al., 2013). My study is ambitious—I am using a sample size of one: myself. I will attempt to prove that my life study is