How to Stop Picking Your Face and Skin

Gain Awareness

It's crazy when you first start to focus awareness on when and why you pick, because you realize how un-random it is. For so long, I just didn't pay attention to where I was when I would snap out of the "zone" and realize I'd been ripping my skin to shreds. But then I started noticing that it happened in three primary places: movie theaters, my desk at work, and while watching TV at home. 

These connections are key because being aware of when you give in to your compulsions enables you to take the first steps toward controlling them. 

I realized that I did it in movie theaters because the environment is dark, soothing, and conducive to uninterrupted picking. Watching a movie is a mindless task—you don't have to think about anything; you just sit back and passively take in the entertainment. Where else can you sit in the dark for two hours, wide awake and conscious, with free hands? As such, it became natural to engage in a dedicated picking session during movies, unseen and with nothing to snap me back to reality until the movie ended. 

Watching TV at home was similar. Although not pitch black, it was a time when one mindless, trance-like activity begot another. 

Picking at work was a bit different. The inherent nature of work is active, not passive like watching a movie or TV; and as a writer, my fingers aren't idle often. But I would find myself picking while staring at the computer screen any time I wasn't directly typing. The desk/computer-screen-picking connection became most apparent after a holiday vacation. When I returned to my desk after a week out of the office and began picking at perfectly healed and smooth thumbs, I realized I hadn't picked the entire time I'd been away. 

Try Mindful Meditation Practice

"Often times skin picking is associated with anxiety, so treating the underlying anxiety would be the primary recommendation as it could be impactful far beyond just the skin picking," says psychiatrist Byron Young, MD. "Sometimes people tend to skin pick dry or irritated areas, so reducing the chances of that can be helpful by something like moisturizing and staying well moisturized if they tend to pick dry skin." Dieux's Instant Angel Moisturizer provides the perfect blend of lasting hydration while reinforcing the skin's barrier.

"Mindfulness meditation practice can be helpful so folks are more aware of what they are doing at the moment and find other ways to deal with discomfort in the present moment," says Dr. Young.

Harness What Motivates You

We all have things that motivate us. For instance, a fear of wrinkles is a pretty powerful motivator for me—let alone early onset wrinkles. I typically would pick at my chin and lips without a mirror, but when I picked in front of a mirror for the first time and saw how engaged the muscles around my mouth were, well, it was sobering. My smile lines were tense and contracted, and deeply activated in the position I was contorting my mouth into in order to get a better picking advantage.

I could always feel and knew this was happening. After picking at my lips for long periods of time, my mouth muscles would get so tense and tired I'd have to take Advil. Like applying Neosporin and Band-Aids after making my cuticles bleed, it was always just part of the ritual. But to see it happening was a different story. 

Being in the beauty industry, I know firsthand how squinting in the sun is one of the leading causes of crow's feet. The small, repetitive motion of the muscles contracting leads to the formation of those wrinkles more than anything other than age (Botox works because it's injected into the muscle to stop it from repeatedly contracting, and that's what stops the wrinkles from forming). So, I knew that the small, repetitive contraction of my mouth muscles while picking was going to give me marionette lines I didn't want. 

With that visual in mind, I could more easily train myself to stop picking before I slid into the trance zone, and eventually stop altogether.  

Thumb-wise, the longest period I ever went without picking was leading up to my best friend's wedding. I couldn't bear the thought of helping her with her beautiful white dress, with bloody thumb bandages on. I wanted my fingers to look pretty and feminine in photos and to be able to toast a glass of champagne without a visible—and worse, self-inflicted—injury. 

Find what motivates you to stop—whether that's fearing wrinkles/scars, visualizing a future event, researching the gross amount of germs you've got on your fingers at any given time, or something else. The germ/infection argument never stopped me from picking, but if you're motivated by that kind of thing, arming yourself with scary health numbers could help you turn off the switch each time you start to pick. 

Get Rid Of Your Nails

While resisting the urge to pick your skin entirely is the ultimate goal, that takes time. To set yourself up for success, make picking the skin as hard as possible. Removing your nails is a great place to start.

"You want nothing but the pads of your fingers when your palm faces you," says Palermino. "Also use a glass nail file to round the edge of your nails so they are blunt, not sharp. You want zero ability to scratch when you touch your skin. If you're able to scratch someone's back, you haven't cut them short enough."

Stay Busy

Staying busy, and keeping your fingers busy, is essential for pickers who are trying to train themselves to stop. I found that the busier I was, the less time I had to pick, logistically speaking. If you're running errands, doing yoga, shopping with friends, walking a dog, or writing a letter, you can't pick. You don't have the ability to be doing something active and simultaneously picking. Even when I was on vacation and not picking, it was because I was doing new and interesting things. It was those down times for me, sitting on a couch watching TV, that were seductive. 

This is why when you're not busy, you have to find a way to keep your fingers preoccupied. Whether while sitting on a train or plane, or in a movie, always have something you can run your fingers over so they aren't scanning your skin for things to pick. A sweet friend gave me a pair of Tibetan beads that I kept on me at all times while I was breaking the habit. I retrained myself to fiddle with them when the urge struck, instead of picking at my problem areas. 

"I'm not really into crystals and rocks but I sometimes carry them in my bag to hold in my hands in meetings so I don't pick at my arms or in the summer, my legs," adds Palermino. "Good vibes don't hurt, so if they happen to impart that as well, bonus."

Seek Support

Don't be afraid to seek support—from friends, family, and professionals. Loved ones can help point out triggers, and kindly try to offer up distractions during those times you start to fixate on picking. It can also help just to talk to someone about dealing with the problem, so you don't feel isolated in handling it alone. 

A professional can also be deeply relieving to talk to and can help you address any underlying reasons you might have for picking, from stress and anxiety to learned behavior.

Stay Positive

I found it incredibly helpful in my healing process to stay positive. When I was doing really well, and then had a setback, I was bummed, no doubt. But I knew that getting down on myself or demoralized wouldn't help. It was much more effective to brush it off, stay cheerful, and not obsess over the "mistake." Doing so only breeds more anxiety and negative emotions around the act of picking, while bringing more of a focus to the spot you picked, which, in turn, only makes you want to pick more.

If you just picked, or if you don't pick for two weeks or longer, and then fall off the horse, it's okay. Dust off your shoulders, brush it off, (or, as TSwift would say, shake it off), and keep trying. Remember that the skin is a regenerative organ with an amazing capacity to heal itself. And if you do pick, keep in mind these post-picking solutions to help minimize damage. 

Use Pimple Patches That Disappear on the Skin

"When I start picking at a patch of skin, a pimple or... that one time I almost removed a mole, I suggest using these pimple patches from The Klog," says Palermino. "They're transparent, incredibly thin, have a beveled edge, and stick to the skin. Because you can't feel the edge on your skin you don't have anything satisfying to pick at. You have the reminder when your fingers hit plastic to retreat. And, if you do pick at it, it's much better to pick at a piece of plastic than your stratum corneum. Just make sure to replace it right after."