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    Michelle Yeoh Recalled The “Brave” Decision To End Her First Marriage After She Couldn’t “Give Him The Family That He Craves For”

    “Yes, we love each other very much now, but in 10 years or 20 years, I still can’t give him the family that he craves for… That’s why this dialogue between a couple is so important.”

    Ellen Durney
    by Ellen Durney

    BuzzFeed Staff

    You know Michelle Yeoh. She’s the Oscar-winning star of movies like Tomorrow Never Dies, Crazy Rich Asians, and Everything Everywhere All at Once — a pretty big deal.

    Michelle Yeoh in an elegant gown holds her Oscar statuette on stage, smiling and speaking into a microphone
    Patrick T. Fallon / AFP via Getty Images

    And as she promotes her next role in one of the biggest movies of the year, Wicked, Michelle has talked in detail about the feelings of “failure” she experienced over being unable to have children.

    Person wearing a glittery, black, cut-out gown, with short wavy hair, posing on a red carpet
    Gilbert Flores / Variety via Getty Images

    During a conversation about infertility struggles on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour on Nov. 18, Michelle recalled her strong desire to have kids during her first marriage to Sir Dickson Poon, the Hong Kong business tycoon she wed in 1988.

    Michelle Yeoh in a strapless gown with a pearl necklace, smiling at an event
    Laurent Koffel / Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images

    “It wasn’t for lack of trying because I have always, and still do, love babies,” she said. “I believe that it’s a woman’s choice. It’s your choice whether you want to have children, and it shouldn’t be imposed on you…but I always wanted to have children.”

    Michelle said that the hope to grow a big family was “very clear” in her marriage to Dickson, leading her to seek fertility treatment to “aid in the process.” But looking back, she recalled the pain and defeat she experienced with each cycle they failed to conceive.

    Michelle Yeoh in elegant dark attire with sparkling necklace and earrings, standing against a backdrop with the number 24 partially visible
    Gisela Schober / Getty Images

    “This was a marriage about having children, next generation, and all that,” she said. “I think the worst moment to go through is every month you feel like such a failure... And then you go, ‘Why?’”

    Michelle said her inability to have kids was the “main factor” in her divorce from Dickson in 1992. Now, she urges younger couples to have serious conversations about kids and family planning “right at the beginning” of the relationship to hopefully avoid “a lot of hurt” later down the line.

    Olivia Wong / FilmMagic

    “You also have to understand, these are conversations that you really have to have with yourself and be able to look ahead and think, Yes, we love each other very much now, but in 10 years or 20 years, I still can’t give him the family that he craves for,” she said.

    Michelle Yeoh poses on the red carpet in an elegant, textured gown with statement earrings, surrounded by lush greenery and photographers
    Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images

    “That’s why this dialogue between a couple is so important,” she emphasized. “If one wants [something] and the other doesn’t, this is something you have to face right at the beginning because, along the way, there will be a lot of hurt…so I think it was very brave on our path to admit, to say, ‘Okay, let’s not drag this out.’”


    After their marriage ended amicably, Michelle and her ex remained on friendly terms, and she even talked proudly in the interview about being the godmother to the eldest of his five children.

    Having previously said that not having kids of her own is the “biggest sadness” in her life, Michelle opened up about overcoming the heartbreak and finally being able to stop holding herself accountable.

    Jp Yim / Getty Images for The Asian American Foundation

    “I think at some point, you stop blaming yourself,” she said. “There are certain things in your body that doesn't function in a certain way. That's how it is. You just have to let go and move on. And I think you come to a point where you have to stop blaming you.”

    In 2004, Michelle met motor racing executive Jean Todt in Shanghai, and today, the pair are happily married. What’s more, she recently became a grandmother to her stepson’s child.

    Michelle and Jean Todt stand together, smiling for the camera at a celebrity event
    Marc Piasecki / WireImage

    “I’m 62. Of course, I’m not going to have a baby right now, but the thing is we just had a grandchild,” she said. “Then you feel you’re still very, very blessed because you do have a baby in your life.”

    You can find Michelle’s full interview on Woman’s Hour here.