Alright, buckle up Chiefs Kingdom! We’re seven weeks into the season, and while it’s still too early to start printing Super Bowl tickets, it’s never too soon for a fun thought experiment. Let’s fire up the prediction engine and see if we can map out how Kansas City’s regular season plays out from here—and let’s throw in a little January magic too, because what’s a Chiefs season without some playoff drama?

So, without further ado, here’s a speculative look at the Chiefs’ path through the rest of the 2024 campaign and their inevitable run toward the postseason.

Here we are, folks! If the NFL regular season ended today in Week 7, your Kansas City Chiefs would be sitting pretty with the AFC’s coveted No. 1 seed. That means the golden bye week is all theirs, the one rest stop every contender dreams of. It’s the first-class seat to the playoffs, where everyone else is stuck in coach fighting over the last bag of peanuts.

Now, as you can see, there’s a traffic jam behind Kansas City in the standings. Houston, Baltimore, Buffalo, and Pittsburgh are all sitting at 5-2, jostling for position like kids playing musical chairs at recess. Then there’s Denver and Indianapolis clinging to those final wild card spots at 4-3, hoping not to get ejected from the party before it really gets started.

And before you ask—no, I’m not about to break down the NFC playoff picture. We’re Chiefs fans here, not masochists. The Chiefs aren’t in that conference, so I’ll save myself the extra work and the headache of deciphering whatever’s going on over there.

Alright, folks, it’s time to channel my inner fortune teller, dust off the ol’ crystal ball, and predict how the final eleven weeks of this Chiefs season will shake out. Now, full disclosure—predicting NFL games is like trying to guess what Andy Reid’s going to order at a post-game buffet: impossible. I can confidently tell you I’m not going to get all these picks right. In fact, I might get them so wrong that future me will be ashamed of this entire article.

But here’s the good news: you won’t remember any of this by January, and I’ll be off the hook. So really, I’m free to throw out these predictions with reckless abandon, and no one can call me dumb until the playoffs roll around—and by then, we’ll all be too focused on postseason glory (or heartbreak) to care.

With that said, let’s dive into the chaos. Buckle up, Chiefs Kingdom!

Alright, Chiefs Kingdom, here it is: my grand prediction for how every NFL team will finish by the time Week 18 rolls around.

Let's take a look at some of the pivotal matchups that will lead the Chiefs to a sparkling 15-2 finish and the AFC’s coveted No. 1 seed:

Week 8: Raiders Get Handled

A tale as old as time. The Raiders come into this matchup full of hope and leave with yet another loss. Consider this the annual reminder that the AFC West still runs through Kansas City.

Week 9: Chiefs Take Down the Bucs

Mahomes vs. the Bucs feels like a good old-fashioned duel. Except this time, Mahomes isn’t running for his life behind a tattered offensive line like he was in Super Bowl LV. Expect a W here.

Week 10: Win Against Broncos Country

Sorry, Broncos Country, but it's not "Let's Ride." It's "Let's Lose...again." The Chiefs continue their dominance over Denver, and at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mahomes owns property there.

Week 11: The First Loss Since Christmas Day 2023, Against Buffalo

After a 12 game winning streak, the Chiefs finally drop one to Buffalo in an AFC heavyweight battle. Josh Allen plays lights out, and Chiefs fans grudgingly tip their hats—for now.

Week 12: Bounce Back Against Carolina

There’s nothing like playing the Panthers to get back on track. The Chiefs put on a clinic, and we all remember why this team is a Super Bowl contender.

Week 13: Raiders Get Handled (Again)

If it wasn’t clear the first time, the Raiders are not on the Chiefs’ level. Consider this a double dose of reality for Las Vegas.

Week 14: Sweep the Chargers

Justin Herbert and the Chargers always play Kansas City tough, but Mahomes has that extra gear when the division’s on the line. Sweep secured, division clinched, next!

Week 15: Beat Cleveland

It’s cold, it’s ugly, but the Chiefs gut out a win against Cleveland’s tough defense. This one has all the hallmarks of a playoff-type grind.

Week 16: Chiefs Lose to C.J. Stroud and the Texans

Every season has that one game where fans go, "Wait, what?" This is it. C.J. Stroud continues the impressive start to his career, and the Texans beat the Chiefs. Hey, nobody's perfect, right?

Week 17: Chiefs Beat Pittsburgh

A physical matchup against the Steelers, but Kansas City’s offense proves too much. Chalk up another W as the Chiefs march toward the top seed.

Week 18: Chiefs Beat Denver and Ride Into the Playoffs

The regular season ends just like it began—with the Chiefs sending the Broncos packing. Mahomes and company clinch the No. 1 seed and head into January as the team to beat.

Alright, after that recap of the Chiefs’ prosperous regular season, let’s get into where the year really starts for Kansas City... the postseason.

Wild Card Weekend:

Who cares? The Chiefs are already kicking back, twiddling their thumbs, and probably binge-watching game film while the rest of the AFC dukes it out. While Kansas City enjoys their well-earned bye, here’s what I’ve got going down:

Meanwhile, the Chiefs? They’re just waiting to see who’s brave enough to come to GEHA Field next weekend.

Divisional Round:

Here we go—this is where the postseason kicks into gear for Kansas City. The Chiefs, well-rested after their bye, welcome a dangerous and youthful Houston Texans team to GEHA Field. C.J. Stroud and the Texans have been the Cinderella story of the last two seasons, but this is the part where the clock strikes midnight.

I've got the Chiefs beating the Texans in what will likely be a hard-fought, low-scoring game. Kansas City’s playoff experience, combined with the playoff brilliance of Mahomes, will outshine Houston’s youth. And hey, let’s just hope the Chiefs can avoid spotting Houston a 24-0 lead this time around—don’t need any of those heart attack-inducing heroics again.

Meanwhile, in the other divisional matchup, I’ve got Baltimore edging out Buffalo in what promises to be an epic clash. The Ravens’ defense proves too much for the Bills’ inconsistent offensive weapons, and the Derrick Henry-Lamar Jackson one-two punch becomes too overwhelming on a cold January day. Baltimore grinds out a tough victory, setting up a massive AFC Championship rematch.

Conference Championship:

Here we are, folks—the Arrowhead Invitational is back, and it feels like a sequel we all knew was coming. The Chiefs vs. Ravens matchup, a rematch of Week 1, where Kansas City eked out a victory by the literal tip of the football. Now, we’re in the AFC Championship, and the stakes couldn’t be higher.

In this Chiefs prediction multiverse, I’ve got Lamar Jackson winning MVP for his regular-season heroics, setting up a showdown between the reigning MVP and the Super Bowl MVP—Mahomes vs. Lamar, Round 2. But just like last year, I see the Chiefs pulling off the win.

Here’s why: Kansas City’s elite run defense stifles Jackson and Derrick Henry, forcing the Ravens to beat them through the air. And when you’ve got Trent McDuffie locking down receivers and Chris Jones wrecking the backfield, it’s not going to be easy. Jones will, as always, "get his," because that's just what he does in big games.

As is tradition, the Chiefs do just enough on offense—Mahomes making those ridiculous throws that defy logic—and they punch their ticket to another Super Bowl. Chiefs Kingdom, your boys are going to the big dance. Again. Wow.

Super Bowl:

On the brink of an unprecedented three-peat, the Chiefs are set to face the ultimate underdog, and—wait—what’s this? Detroit is sending the National Guard to New Orleans? In this multiverse, Dan Campbell has fully embraced his inner war general, doing everything short of petitioning Congress to make sure the Chiefs don’t even make it to the Super Bowl. After all, why risk it? Campbell’s Lions just beat the Vikings in the NFC Championship, and the man has probably already set up camp at the Superdome, with every exit blocked and "kneecap-biting" drills in full effect.

Alright, I might’ve taken this multiverse thing a bit too far, but tell me this isn’t something that would at least cross Dan Campbell’s mind. The man’s a wild card, and the Lions being in their first Super Bowl makes anything feel possible.

But here’s the reality: Mahomes and the Chiefs will find a way to land in New Orleans, no National Guard intervention needed. Detroit’s a feel-good story, but this is the Super Bowl, and the Chiefs live for this moment. I’ve got Kansas City executing like the battle-tested squad they are, with Mahomes picking apart the Lions defense, Chris Jones making life miserable for Jared Goff, and the Chiefs capping off their remarkable season with another Lombardi Trophy.

The three-peat is complete, and Andy Reid gets to celebrate in New Orleans with the biggest burger he can find. What a ride!

(May the powers of manifestation guide us home, thank you).