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Sally McNeil

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Sally McNeil
Born
Sally Dempsy

(1960-09-30) September 30, 1960 (age 64)
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Other names
  • Killer Sally
  • Killer McNeil
Spouses
  • Ray McNeil (1987 - death 1987)
  • Norfleet Stewart
Children3
ConvictionSecond degree murder
Criminal penalty19 years to life imprisonment

Sally Marie McNeil (born September 30, 1960) is an American former sergeant, professional female bodybuilder and muscle worship practitioner, who was convicted for the murder of her husband Ray McNeil, a Mr. Olympia competitor.[1][2] McNeil was granted parole in 2020 and now lives a private life.

Early life and education

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McNeil was born in 1960, as Sally Dempsey in Allentown, Pennsylvania and describes her upbringing as tough, including exposure to violence so frequently that she had thought it to be commonplace in every home. Sally's father, Richard Dale Dempsey, was an alcoholic who was frequently abusive to her mother.[3] Her mother remarried when Sally was 3 years old, and they had two daughters, Judy and Jill, who were Sally's half sisters, according to the Killer Sally documentary.[citation needed]

McNeil attended Dieruff High School in Allentown, where she was on the school's swimming and diving and track and field teams. She enrolled at East Stroudsburg State College with aspirations of becoming a gym teacher. After three and a half years in college, however, she ran out of money to fund her education and dropped out.[4]

Career

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Military career

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As her brother and her uncle before her, McNeil served in the United States Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton. She rose to the rank of Sergeant.[5]

In 1990, McNeil was demoted from her position as a sergeant for a continuously poor behavioral record, including anger issues, violence, and lashing out at others. Her behavioral record resulted in her being unable to re-enlist in 1993, after serving her time.[6]

Body building and wrestling

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McNeil started bodybuilding during her service at Camp Pendleton in 1987. Her first competition was on February 14, 1987, where she placed fourth.[4] She won the U.S. Armed Services Physique Championship twice in the late 1980s.[7]

McNeil settled in Oceanside, California in 1990 with her husband, Ray, and the two children. Both McNeil and Ray had hoped to become professional bodybuilders, however the expenses were too high to maintain for both. McNeil began a career wrestling men on video for $300 an hour, earning her the moniker Killer Sally. She was trained by videomaker Bill Wick, who was the husband of Kay Baxter.[8][9] She also worked as a female submission wrestler doing private wrestling sessions with men. While the act was inherently sexual for the buyer, McNeil denies ever having sexual relations with them. She did not enjoy the work, but said the money was good enough to outweigh the "dark side." [4] She was making enough money to enable Ray to leave the Marines and concentrate on his own bodybuilding career.[10]

Personal life

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McNeil met her first husband, Anthony Lowden, at Parris Island while in the Marines. The two were married for four years and had two children together: Shantina, John, and a third child from another man.[11] McNeil described Lowden as abusive towards the end of their marriage.

As she was being transferred to Camp Pendleton, McNeil filed for divorce from Lowden, winning custody of their two oldest children in the process. During their divorce, the third child was put up for adoption.[6]

Marriage to Ray McNeil

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McNeil started bodybuilding during her service at Camp Pendleton, where a friend introduced her to Ray McNeil, another competitive bodybuilder, in June 1987. They dated for about two months before getting married. Three days later, McNeil alleges he began abusing both her and her two children, claiming she was choked and punched by Ray.[12]

The family settled in Oceanside, California. Ray started using steroids, which McNeil blamed for his violent behavior.[13][4] McNeil would even go to Tijuana, Mexico with her children to buy steroids for herself to use and sell at the gym. McNeil would admit she was not proud of this and considered this to be ‘bad parenting’.[14]

During this time, Ray won the heavyweight and overall titles in both the 1991 NPC California Championships and the 1991 IFBB North American Championships,[15] and competed in the 1993 Mr. Olympia competition, placing 15th. He also began participating in professional wrestling and did stand-up comedy, performing his material in free shows at The Comedy Club in La Jolla, San Diego.

According to his friend, Dwayne "DJ" Jeffers, Ray got into an altercation with another man one night whilst working as a bouncer at a nightclub and ended up sticking his fingers through his eyes. Shantina, McNeil's daughter, spoke about the same night to verify this, as she recalled seeing Ray coming home covered in blood and how he told her he had to do what he did because the others were trying to kill him.

Both Shantina and John have claimed they witnessed Ray being abusive towards McNeil and they themselves were victims. Shantina claims to have seen him choke her mother and witnessed Ray breaking McNeil's nose in front of her. McNeil reported this incident to her marine superiors. Ray was detained and released shortly after. McNeil claims that he proceeded to beat her until she promised to drop the charges, which she would eventually do.[16] John stated that when McNeil was away, Ray would become abusive towards them.[3] When they were in trouble, Ray would bring them into a room and spank them with a belt while making the other watch.[17]

McNeil also claimed that Ray would also sexually abuse her, forcing her to have sex despite her denials, throughout their marriage.[18][19] While under oath, McNeil testified that she received numerous injuries, including five broken bones, over the course of their marriage.[9] At one point, McNeil had fought back against Ray, angering him. McNeil stated that he had beaten her worse, breaking her rib and puncturing her lung.[20]

Ray had been having an affair with another woman, Marianne Myers, at the time and had decided to leave McNeil for her. According to Jeffers, Ray planned to spend Valentine's Day in 1995 with the other woman, not his wife. Ray told Jeffers he would tell McNeil about ending their relationship. Jeffers warned him about the shotgun in their house, saying she might shoot him, but Ray only laughed it off.[21]

Murder of Ray McNeil

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On February 14, 1995, Oceanside emergency services received a call from McNeil, telling them: "I just shot my husband because he just beat me up."

Earlier in the night, Ray was on a date with Marianne Myers, his mistress, unbeknownst to McNeil, as he had claimed he was going to get chicken for dinner. She was preparing to go out and find where Ray was, but he turned up after 10:30pm.[2] McNeil claimed and maintains that she shot Ray in self-defense when he, spurred by roid rage, began choking her after she accused him of adultery.[22] The police transcript reads that Ray, "slapped her, pushed her down on the floor, and started choking her. McNeil squirmed away, ran into the bedroom, and took her sawed-off shotgun out of its case in the closet." McNeil then shot Ray twice: once in the abdomen and once in the jaw.

Both of McNeil's children were present in the apartment, but in their own room during the shooting. Shantina left the room after hearing the shots, saw Ray's state, and ran to a neighboor's apartment for help. Ray was still alive and conscious when police arrived. He was take to Scripps Memorial Hospital, however he was declared dead two hours later. McNeil was arrested for murder.[23][24]

At the time of her arrest, McNeil tested positive for the steroid Deca-Durabolin, while Ray's autopsy revealed he had five different kinds of steroids in his bloodstream.[10]

Her bail was set at $100,000. Out of loyalty, this was paid for by McNeil's wrestling clients and others from the muscle worship community.[25]

Trial and conviction

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The defense argued that McNeil suffered from Battered Woman Syndrome after years of mental and physical abuse by Ray. The defense expert explained that due to her diagonsis, this would have caused McNeil to shoot in self-defense as she genuinely percieved herself to be in imminent danger.[10] McNeil's daughter, Shantina, testified in her mother's defense. Shantina claimed that she could hear Ray choking her mother through the door and she had known those sounds because he had choked McNeil multiple times before.[17]

Evidence arose during Sally's trial that questioned the validity of the story she had given, including her body language during the initial police interview, the trajectory of the rounds fired into Ray (one of which must have been fired while he was on the floor), and the blood spatter on their living room lamp. In addition, no DNA of Sally's was found on Ray, which eliminated any forensic evidence to back up her story.[2] The prosecutors argued that, based on evidence, McNeil had shot Ray in the abdomen, left to the bedroom to reload the gun, and returned to the living room to shoot him in the face.[26]

In 1996, she was convicted of second degree murder and sentenced to 19 years to life.[5][27][28]

Imprisonment and appeals

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After numerous appeals on a variety of grounds, including improper jury instructions, McNeil's conviction was initially overturned by the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals[29] which resulted in the granting of a writ of habeas corpus. The State of California then appealed to the US Supreme Court which reversed the 9th Circuit's ruling and remanded the case back to that same venue for further action.[30][31] Relying on information and instructions from the SCOTUS opinion,[32] the 9th Circuit reconsidered the matter and on March 29, 2005, issued their opinion ruling in favor of the State and reinstating McNeil's original conviction.[33]

McNeil served her sentence at the Central California Women's Facility in Chowchilla, California.[5]

Release

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Her parole was granted by the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation on May 29, 2020.[34][35]

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McNeil was arrested in 1990, for brandishing a firearm at Lowden and smashing the windows of his vehicle with a metal bar.[36] She had been arrested previously for assaulting a mailman who had slapped her son, John, after he had a fight with the mailman's son.[37]

In 1990, McNeil attacked a woman she suspected was having an affair with Ray at a bodybuilding show, pinning her to the floor and hitting her repeatedly. This resulted in the National Physique Committee suspending her for a year.[14]

In 1993, Sally was confronted by a club bouncer for dancing on the tables. Drunk and not wanting to do what he told her, Sally kicked him in the face three times. When police arrived, she threatened to kill them.[24]

Post-prison personal life

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Following her release, McNeil married Norfleet Stewart, whom she met through her Veterans Transition Center support group.[38] She currently resides in Northern California.[39]

McNeil reconnected with Shantina and John following her release and met her grandchildren. Both attended her wedding.[40] Shantina is a former army staff sergeant and has one son, Donnell.[41] On March 4, 2024, John was fatally shot in Augusta, Georgia. He was reportally homeless at the time and suffered from PTSD, resulting from his time in the army.[42][43][44] He had three children.[45]

Bodybuilding

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Year Body Competition Division Placing
1988 NPC US Armed Forces Championships Middleweight 1st
NPC US Armed Forces Championships Overall 1st
1991 NPC Junior USA Lightweight 5th
NPC Nationals Middleweight 13th
NPC Palm Spring Classic Middleweight 4th
1992 NPC Junior USA Middleweight 2nd
NPC Nationals Middleweight 12th
IFBB North American Championships Middleweight 9th
NPC USA Championships Middleweight 5th
1994 NPC Nationals Heavyweight 16th
IFBB North American Championships Heavyweight 6th
NPC USA Championships Middleweight 5th

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In media

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In October 2022, Netflix released a three-part docuseries, Killer Sally, covering the case and its aftermath.[47] It was directed by Nanette Burstein, whose previous credits include On the Ropes (1999) and Hillary (2020).

References

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  1. ^ Mangan, Lucy (November 2, 2022). "Killer Sally review – a warped true-crime tale of bodybuilder murder". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  2. ^ a b c "McNeil v. Middleton". vLex. Retrieved April 9, 2025.
  3. ^ a b Rowan, Iona (November 7, 2022). "Killer Sally: Where are Sally McNeil and her children now?". Digital Spy. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  4. ^ a b c d "A bodybuilder said her husband abused her. Then, she was charged with his murder". The Independent. November 5, 2022. Retrieved November 9, 2022.
  5. ^ a b c "The Sally-Ray McNeil Murder". Muscular Development. February 12, 2015. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  6. ^ a b "The True Story Of Killer Sally (& What The Documentary Leaves Out)". ScreenRant. November 12, 2022. Retrieved June 29, 2023.
  7. ^ "The tale of Killer Sally: Her 12-gauge & her husband". New York Daily News. December 28, 2009. Retrieved November 4, 2022.
  8. ^ "Netflix True Crime Documentary 'Killer Sally' Unveils Kinky Underbelly of Bodybuilding". hypebae. November 7, 2022.
  9. ^ a b Gilchrist, Ava (November 29, 2023). "Netflix's Newest True Crime Thriller 'Killer Sally' Is The Dark Tale Of Abuse Relationships & The "Perfect Victim"". marie claire. Retrieved April 9, 2025.
  10. ^ a b c Alvarado, Francisco. "Did 'Killer Sally' Sally McNeil Murder Her Bodybuilder Husband In Self-Defense?". A&E. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  11. ^ Weston, Christopher (November 4, 2022). "Sally McNeil's first husband said 'it could've been' him instead of Ray McNeil". HITC. Retrieved November 9, 2022.
  12. ^ "'This is still happening today': the story of an abused wife accused of murder". the Guardian. November 2, 2022. Retrieved November 9, 2022.
  13. ^ Rowan, Iona (November 7, 2022). "Killer Sally - Where are Sally McNeil and her children now?". Digital Spy. Retrieved November 9, 2022.
  14. ^ a b "Netflix's 'Killer Sally' details why Sally McNeil shot her bodybuilding champ husband: 'A cycle of violence' | Fox News". www.foxnews.com. Retrieved June 29, 2023.
  15. ^ "McNeil, Ray".
  16. ^ Horton, Adrian (November 2, 2022). "'This is still happening today': the story of an abused wife accused of murder". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  17. ^ a b Miller, Korin (November 3, 2022). "'Killer Sally's Kids Were At Home When She Shot Her Husband Ray". Women's Health. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  18. ^ "Sally Marie Mcneil, Petitioner-appellant, v. Raymond L. Middleton; Bill Lockyer, Respondents-appellees, 344 F.3d 988 (9th Cir. 2003)". Justia Law. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  19. ^ Loewenson, Irene (November 4, 2022). "Netflix's 'Killer Sally': Marine vet who shot spouse tells her story". Marine Corps Times. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  20. ^ Rasmussen, Aaron. "Bodybuilder Sally McNeil Recounts Why She Killed Her Husband On Valentine's Day 1995". Investigation Discovery. Retrieved April 9, 2025.
  21. ^ Vanapalli, Viswa (November 2, 2022). "Where is Ray McNeil's Friend DJ Jeffers Now?". The Cinemaholic. Retrieved June 29, 2023.
  22. ^ Kreps, Daniel (October 19, 2022). "'Killer Sally': See Trailer for Docuseries That Examines Bodybuilding's Most Notorious Murder". Rolling Stone. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  23. ^ "The tale of Killer Sally: Her 12-gauge & her husband". New York Daily News. December 28, 2009. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  24. ^ a b Martin, Laura (November 2, 2022). "The True Story of 'Killer Sally' and Bodybuilder Sally McNeil". Esquire.
  25. ^ "'Killer Sally' McNeil Refused to do One Thing During Her 25 Year Prison Sentence". November 8, 2022.
  26. ^ "Murder of Ray McNeil by Fellow Bodybuilder Wife Sally McNeil Subject of New Netflix Docuseries". Inside Edition. November 6, 2022. Retrieved April 9, 2025.
  27. ^ "The 50 Most Infamous Criminals in Sports History". Complex. May 16, 2014. Archived from the original on June 11, 2016. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  28. ^ "The tale of Killer Sally: Her 12-gauge & her husband". New York Daily News. December 28, 2009. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  29. ^ "McNeil v. Middleton, No. 01-56565, 344 F.3d 988 (2003)". leagle.com. September 22, 2003. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  30. ^ "Supreme Court reinstates wife's conviction in killing of bodybuilder". The San Diego Union-Tribune. May 3, 2004. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  31. ^ "Supreme Court restores woman's murder conviction". The San Diego Union-Tribune. May 4, 2004. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  32. ^ "Middleton v. McNeil, 541 U.S. 433 (2004)". courtlistener.com. May 3, 2004. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  33. ^ "McNeil v. Middleton, No. 01-56565". findlaw.com. March 29, 2005. Retrieved March 13, 2017.
  34. ^ "Home". cdcr.ca.gov.
  35. ^ Savin, Jennifer (November 3, 2022). "Where is 'Killer Sally' and her two children now?". Cosmopolitan. Retrieved November 9, 2022.
  36. ^ "Sally McNeil's first husband said 'it could've been' him instead of Ray McNeil". HITC. November 4, 2022.
  37. ^ Wolf, Dylan (November 8, 2022). "The Violent Murder Story of Bodybuilder "Killer Sally" McNeil". Generation Iron Fitness & Strength Sports Network. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  38. ^ "Sally McNeil is Not in Prison Today — Here's when and Why She Was Released". November 7, 2022.
  39. ^ "Where is 'Killer Sally' and her two children now?". Cosmopolitan. November 3, 2022. Retrieved June 29, 2023.
  40. ^ Baxter-Wright, Dusty (November 7, 2022). "Where are Sally McNeill from Killer Sally's children now?". Cosmopolitan. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  41. ^ "PICTURES: Staff Sergeant Shantina Lowden reunites with her son". The Morning Call. October 17, 2014. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  42. ^ Lepp, Mike (March 4, 2024). "Suspect arrested in murder of U.S. Army Veteran found dead in middle of Washington Road". WJBF. Archived from the original on March 7, 2025. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  43. ^ Rickabaugh, Greg (February 29, 2024). "Augusta murder victim starred in Netflix series about his mom". The Augusta Press. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  44. ^ "Ga. veteran who appeared in Netflix crime series shot to death, police say". WSB-TV Channel 2 - Atlanta. March 8, 2024. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  45. ^ "John Lowden Obituary - Martinez, GA". Dignity Memorial. Retrieved April 7, 2025.
  46. ^ "McNeil, Sally".
  47. ^ Horton, Adrian (November 2, 2022). "'This is still happening today': the story of an abused wife accused of murder". The Guardian. Retrieved November 2, 2022.
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