Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx
Matt!

Review by Matt! Pro

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx 1972

★★★★½

Watched 14 Jan 2023

I mean…holy shit.

In part II of the Lone Wolf and Cub series, Ogami Itto, Master of the Dad Bod, says hold my beer to his first outing as the assassin-for-hire before proceeding to dial every available notch to 11, reaching new levels of batshit insanity and driving the Japanese film industry further into a fake blood drought.

This movie’s bingo card includes:

- A Guinness world record-setting *10 seconds* before the first bloodbath
- A fight where a man is literally dismembered ear by nose by finger by limb by limb by limb
- The most incredible feat of backwards running ever put to film
- Gory Wolverine-like kills that Hugh Jackman could never
- A sword called “Horse-Slayer”
- A man’s head split entirely in half like a coconut
- A three-year-old boy teaching a masterclass in nipple-flicking
- A dude giving a full poetic monologue while a literal fountain of blood erupts from his jugular

Easily my favorite Mandalorian episode so far. Add in several touching father-son moments and a psychotically badass female ninja, and you’ve got yourself another kick-ass entry in this phenomenal chambara franchise.

Best of: Samurai Movies

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