Robb. Knight.

How was your delivery? How was your ride? How was your call to customer support? How was your purchase you received literally 15 seconds ago? You only just got here but would you rate our website? How was your experience filling in our form to get access to your mother’s will?^[1] HOW WAS IT?

It’ll only take five minutes of your time which, by us not offering any incentive to do it, means we deem your time as completely worthless. Please know our executives will be so happy that lots of people gave us ten out of ten. What does ten mean? Doesn’t matter, had sex got ten.

Gotta get those net promotor scores as high as possible so we can show other people who know what a net promoter score is that they’re really high because a high net promotor score is good because the company who owns the proprietary tech for net promotor scores says so. Net. Promotor. Score.

Before leaving feedback please remember that if the rating is for one of our employees and you give them anything less than 100% we’ll almost definitely fire them so no one ever has to suffer again with less than perfect service like you’ve had to. No one serving you should be allowed to have an off day.

Thanks for reading this blog post! How would you rate your experience? It’ll only take two minutes.