Michele Bachmann is a corn dog

Michele Bachmann eats a foot-long corn-dog at the Iowa State FairI am so sorry all you Dem Chicken Littles, but GOP candidate Michele Bachmann is not going to depose your precious Recidivist Obama. She’s a straw man and as desperate a bogeyman as the corporate bad-cop party can muster. Bachmann was fleeing a contentious audience at the Iowa Straw Poll but PAUSED because who can resist the obviously ribald photo-op with a foot-long corn-dog? And she gave her gay hubby the first bite. This ensured press, take your pick, salacious or God-awful horrific, whatever, from media followers who look to the vacuous debutante for inspiration. Stupid? Or savvy as a FOX-coached bimbo?

Find the Michele Bachmann inside you

So Michele Bachmann was a tax collector. Sarah Palin was an oil industry stooge. The media didn’t conjure these villainesses from whole or rare cloth. Most politicians are corporate functionaries before they bill the public to do it. If they haven’t dedicated their lives expressly to destroying the environment, the social fabric, your job and everyone’s quality of life, they’ve always understood your loss was somebody’s gain, and theirs. Know anyone like that around you? Practically everyone! That’s whose throats you need to wrap your fingers around. Shake the blinders off their eyes with good old-fashioned throttling. Shout them down. Shut them up. Shame and scorn them, the heartless, uninformed, apathetic pricks. Activism begins at the grassroots, pull those weeds from the roots.
The media sets up Bachmann and Palin as characters you love to hate, there for you to pillory in effigy. You can flame them with your wit, call for their heads, but ultimately their pulpits lay beyond your reach, from where they safely goad you at the media’s whim. Wake up. Bachmann and Palin are the effigies. Burning them accomplishes nothing. They’re the poster children rotten apples among the joe public rotten apples which fill the American barrel. Look around you. See all the clueless, amoral, self-serving opportunists? Time to drop the agree-to-disagree, polite society pretense. Take the gloves off and have at ’em.

If misrepresentative Michele Bachmann can run for president, SO CAN YOU!

How fortunate that the corporate media is pretending a Michele Bachmann presidential candidacy has legitimacy. Who’s going to dispute your prospects? Yes, YOU, I don’t care who you are. Or what about …ANY third party contender? A truly unelectable Republican will not be bogeyman enough to circle the wagons around Obama. An idiot on the one hand and a bullshitter on the other, both certifiable — literally, leaves an opening between them for someone rational.

Michele Bachmann urges anti-health teabaggers to slit their wrists, so do it

I may not be not an expert on blood pacts, but I’ve seen them on TV. You cut your palm or finger with a knife or other sharp edge of opportunity, and let your blood mix with that of your newly-resolved comrade. The Colorado Independent reports that US Representative Michelle Bachmann is calling for a blood covenant from her fellow anti-health reformists, and she wants them to be so determined that they “slit their wrists.” We’d like to go the Minnesota congresswoman one further. If the private-insurance-death-panel advocates feel they must defeat health reform because Obama’s measures “have the strength to destroy this country forever,” they could prove their resolve by slitting their throats to really commingle their blood!